Why Can't I Just Be Single?
by Raikun-sama
Summary: "So you KNEW that he was a perverted, freakish STALKER, Shinra, and you THOUGHT we would be good as a COUPLE?" "W-well, Shizuo, no offense meant, but you're not exactly a normal person either, if you know what I mean..." AU IzayaxShizuo
1. Blind Date?

**A/N: ...er, hello there. Um, yes, this is my first Durarara! fic, and coincidentally, my first yaoi fanfic too, I guess. Which is why you'll probably see a lot of OOCness (particularly with Izaya, probably) and terrible, perverted scenes... **

**Also, me being the oh-so-smart person I was, I'm still writing another story on FF that I weekly update... so updates will most likely come slow later on. Oh, and if you haven't guessed by now, I'm not the best writer, so... here it goes, I guess. **

**Ahem, anyway, this story's an alternate universe where practically everything's the same except Shizuo and Izaya meet each other when they're twenty three, not fifteen, and they secretly like each other, and everyone sorta adopts Erika's opinion wants them to be together. Yay...**

**And yes, I am aware that without Izaya, Shizuo would not get the scar on his chest, and he would not be fired from his bartender job when Izaya framed him, etc.. etc, but bear with me, all right? ^.^"**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara!. I do not own the characters and I certainly do not own the setting. ...I do not intend to make a profit from this fanfiction... ...Yeah, I think I made my point. -_-**

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**Warning: Yaoi, obviously, some pervertedness, probably, and... yeah. If you hate yaoi, then you should really know better than to click on a fanfic that has two male characters (especially Shizuo and Izaya XP) with romance as one of the genres... *shrugs* I'm just saying...**

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* * *

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It was a typical day in Ikebukuro. The usual people were hurrying across the crowded streets, the street punks strolled around, and the little children were playing games in the park and the fountain, etc, etc.

The blond-haired man near the said fountain hastily put his hands out in a warning gesture at the message displayed on the phone held out to him.

"O-oi, l-listen, of course I'm perfectly happy for you and Shinra! But as for _me_, I really don't need anyone at the moment, okay?"

The dullahan holding the phone seemed to stare at him for a few seconds before hurriedly typing another reply.

_That can't be true, Shizuo. You seem like you need __**someone**__…_

Shizuo gave an irritable sigh as he slipped his hands into the pockets of his bartender uniform. "I don't need anyone. Like I said before, I'm fine with just being single! Besides, it's not like I'm completely alone in my life! I have you, Shinra, Kasuka-"

_True, but Shinra says_ –

"_Shinra_," Shizuo interrupted with a scoff, "is probably just looking for an excuse to get my blood sample or something like that again! No offense…"

…_none taken._

There was a brief silence between the two friends. Shizuo breathed in an inaudible sigh of relief, thinking that this argument was over. Until…

_I still think you should hook up with someone, Shizuo. Regardless of what Shinra is saying…_

"Hmph!" The bodyguard crushed the innocent (or perhaps, not innocent, since they're very bad for the human body…) cigarette between his teeth. "Honestly, you guys! How many times do I have to say, I'm not interested in finding a goddamn 'soul mate'! Even if I was, AND I'M NOT, can you really see me in a relationship?"

"…" Celty's fingers began to type again.

"A stable relationship, mind you!" Shizuo added grumpily as he grinded the last remains of the poor cigarette under his shoe. The phone's screen was shoved at him again.

_Maybe you just need to find the right person. You deserve to have someone…_

"Well, I don't _want_ to have anyone!" Shizuo growled stubbornly, reaching in his pocket once more for his pack of cigarettes. "I'm just not interested in finding anyone right now, all right?"

…_all right, then._ Celty typed back in resignation. _You win…_

Shizuo made another "hmph"ing noise. "Good." The blond muttered gruffly before he closed his eyes, still frowning. He honestly didn't understand why his friends wanted him to hook up with someone. Couldn't a man just stay single for the time being?

"A-anyway," Shizuo said hastily, starting to stand up, "we better go. You said that Shinra's coming around now, right?"

Celty nodded her helmet before typing again on her phone. _He'll be at Russian Sushi in a few minutes_.

Shizuo raised a dubious eyebrow. "Simon, huh…" Shizuo's last encounter with the tout had not been the most friendly.

Nevertheless, he walked dutifully beside Celty, who was simply leading her motorcycle (or did it just _look_ like a motorcycle? ;) ) on the sidewalk.

"A-ah, Celty, Shizuo!" Shinra exclaimed happily when they arrived at the restaurant's entrance. "Th-there you two are…"

"Shizuo!" Simon greeted beside the underground doctor. "Are you here to eat sushi? That's good, sushi is good!"

"…tch." Not in the mood to tolerate the tout's less than perfect Japanese, the former bartender hastily turned around. "No thanks." He answered as Celty parked her bike.

"Hey, wait a minute, please, Shizuo-kun!" Shinra interrupted hastily, reaching out for the blond's shoulder.

"What?" Shizuo spat rudely, sending a glare to his former classmate.

"W-well…" The spectacled doctor stuttered, fiddling nervously with his fingers.

"…_NO_, Shinra, you cannot take a skin sample of m-"

"Actually," Shinra interrupted loudly, "Um… you have a date this afternoon."

Behind his sunglasses, Shizuo's left eye twitched.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…WHAAAAAAAAAAT?" In a split second, Shinra's white lab coat was seized and shaken roughly. "THE HELL, SHINRA?"

"B-B-B-B-B-B-BLEH, Sh-Shizuo-kun, pl-please sto-"

"CELTY…" The blond growled, dropping the now very dizzy doctor unceremoniously on the ground with a crash and turning menacingly to the dullahan. "YOU KNEW…"

Slightly panicked at how enraged Shizuo appeared, Celty shook her head frantically and typed a hurried, misspelled message onto her phone.

_Zhisuo I swaer I ddin't knwo-_

"GRRRRRRRRRRRR…"

"Oh, Shizuo has date?" Simon inquired happily behind them, oblivious to Shizuo's obvious anger. "Good, then the two of you can eat sushi here-"

"NO," Shizuo roared at the African, "I FUCKING DO NOT HAVE A DAMN DATE AND WE ARE NOT EATING FUCKING SUSHI, GODDAMN IT!"

"Shizuo, now don't swear, swearing is bad, it leads to fighting. Eating sushi is good, sushi will calm you down-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, SIMON!"

"Sh-Shizuo!" Shinra, now a little bedraggled looking, pleaded desperately. "I-I know this is kind of last minute, and I know that… you probably aren't interested in anyone at the moment, but will you please give this a try-"

"NO!" Shizuo yelled back irritably. "WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE WANTING ME TO GO OUT WITH SOMEONE?"

"…because we care so much about you?" Shinra offered hopefully.

"WHAT?"

"Come on, Shizuo-kun… if you don't like him, then-"

"Him?" Shizuo interrupted roughly, raising a dubious eyebrow.

"W-well, all women…" Celty turned to Shinra. "E-except for maybe Celty, of course, irritate you, so maybe…"

"BAH!" Shizuo turned around quickly. "Men, women, what's the difference…"

"So you'll go out with him?" Shinra asked eagerly, adjusting his now cracked lenses.

"NO!" Shizuo snapped at him. "I AM NOT GOING ON A DATE WITH SOME RANDOM GUY YOU PICKED OUT FROM… FROM A LABORATORY OR SOMETHING!"

Shinra sighed heavily. "He's not some 'random guy I picked out from a laboratory', Shizuo-kun. He's an old friend of mine whom I attended middle school with…"

"Same thing…" The blond-haired man muttered irritably, but he was starting to have second thoughts. If it did go wrong, then maybe Celty and Shinra could finally shut up-

"Shizuo, please, it's just one date! If you don't like him, then you can yell at me all you want, and maybe break _one_ of my-"

"No!" Shizuo said hastily, cutting off the rest of Shinra's speech, angry that the doctor had seen through his thoughts. "I DO _NOT_ WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH ANYONE!"

_You're just saying that now because you don't want to go back on what you said earlier, Shizuo…_

Shizuo huffed at Celty's message, secretly mad that it was also true. "Th-that's it! I'm leaving!"

"Eh?" Simon, momentarily forgotten, called from the shop. "But Shizuo, you need to eat sushi-"

"SHUT UP!" Shizuo quickly ran away, causing passerby to stare curiously at the scene.

"A-ah…" Shinra groaned and grabbed his hair in frustration. "Now what am I going to do? He's going to be so pissed if I tell him that he canceled his plans today for nothing…"

Celty seemed to perk up in recognition and hurriedly typed out a question on her phone. _You mean that guy? Do you really think he and Shizuo would match?_

"Well…" Shinra answered sheepishly, "I did think that they would look good together… and he was single too, so…"

_I get it, I get it. But what are you going to do? Shizuo's not going to cooperate…_

"Hmm…" Shinra suddenly punched his fist into his hand triumphantly. "AHA! I got it! I'll just make him find Shizuo-kun on his own!"

…_how do you know that will work?_

"Uh…"

…_never mind. We better find Shizuo first, then._

"Yes!" Shinra fished out a cell phone from his lab coat pocket. "I need to let him know, too…" He warned Celty as she tossed him a helmet.

"Why are you leaving? Aren't you going to eat sushi?" Simon demanded indignantly as Shinra awkwardly clambered onto the back of Celty's motorcycle.

"A-after this, all right, Simon?" The doctor managed to yell before Celty sped off.

* * *

"Grrr…" Shizuo growled to himself, sitting on a bench in the west gate park of Ikebukuro. "Damn Shinra… and his stupid plan…"

…It would be perfectly normal to say no to that, right? Shizuo mused as he pulled out his pack of cigarettes. After all, Shinra had known Shizuo wasn't interested in anyone…

Realizing that he had crushed his last cigarette from the time with Celty, Shizuo tosed the empty pack into a nearby trash can, still fuming about Shinra, dates, etc.

"LALALALALA!" A happy-looking child, singing some nonsense song, skipped over to the trash can to throw something away. She stopped hesitantly when she saw Shizuo.

Shizuo glared at her. "Stop singing."

"WAAAAAAAAH!" Now crying, the little girl ran away. At the moment, Shizuo could honestly care less…

And it was this moment, when he was seated on the park bench, hands in pockets, a foul mood hanging over him, where Shizuo first saw… him.

Black hair hanging lazily over red eyes, with pale skin. A fur trimmed coat parted to reveal a V-neck black shirt. Hands hidden in pockets while black clad legs walked a leisurely pace…

…Yes, that was the appearance of 'him' in a nutshell.

Shizuo stared at the mysterious stranger walking past him…

…and frowned. He didn't like this person…

And, as if Shizuo had spoken his thought out loud, the stranger turned, his crimson eyes catching Shizuo's sunglasses.

Shizuo blinked; a bit taken aback by the stare he was receiving. Almost immediately, however, he began to feel ticked off. What was this person want, staring at him like that, when Shizuo didn't like him? It was annoying!

Annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying… Shizuo glared back at the man, wishing that he would burst into flames if Shizuo started at him hard enough.

However, as awesome as Shizuo is, it didn't happen. The man didn't seem upset with the glare at all, in fact, a wicked smile slowly curled onto his face.

Shizuo was gradually gathering more and more unexplainable dislike for this man. Especially since he didn't burst into flames when Shizuo was glaring at him…

And, to just make things cliché, the stranger began to walk _toward_ Shizuo, the predatory smile still on his face-

_Riaru to ideare no hazami ni ite geiseino kaseni ashi wo torare temo afureru shoud-_

And, of course, the ring of a cell phone completely destroyed the makeshift tense atmosphere.

Shizuo frowned, not recognizing the ringtone as his own.

"Ah?" The man, however, paused before pulling his hand out of the pocket of his fur coat, along with the ringing cell phone. Flipping it open smoothly, he casually walked a few more paces and sat right _next _to Shizuo.

…Great. Now he _definitely_ HATED this person, whoever he was...

"Yes, what is it?" The strange man asked easily, crossing his legs. Despite his recent… thoughts, Shizuo glanced at the man curiously. …Give him a break. It wasn't like Shizuo was _interested_ in him or anything! He had seated himself right next to the bodyguard, for crying out loud!

"…He's… not here?" The stranger repeated, the smile on his face slipping off, and a slight frown replacing it. "…Then where is he?"

Despite his immediate hate for this stranger, Shizuo couldn't help but wonder who "he" was. Maybe the stranger was some sort of shadowy dealer? Yes, he certainly seemed the type of person….

"…You don't know, do you?" The stranger sighed into the cell phone. "Listen, he better be cute…" At the same moment, he turned to Shizuo and smiled slyly. "…because there's one real _cutie_ next to me right here…"

…CUTIE? WHAT THE FUCK? Shizuo almost barfed in mortification before hastily flipping the winking man off and stomping away.

* * *

Several minutes later, Shizuo leaned his back against an alley wall, his cheeks still red from embarrassment. What the hell had been up with that guy from earlier? Whatever 'he' was, Shizuo now knew that it was probably not a customer…

But that stranger with the red eyes… that called him a c- He must have been a freak. Yes, a freak! A very dangerous freak… no wonder Shizuo didn't like him… Thank god Shizuo was able to escape. He was probably a pervert, too, that guy, with the way he was looking at Shizuo…

Just when the blond was beginning to relax, he heard _that voice_ for the second time. A voice he was sure he had escaped a few minutes ago…

"…you're just leading me in circles and wasting my time." It was that _freak_ again, except, to Shizuo's somewhat satisfaction, he was no longer smirking, but looking rather irritated as he still talked on the phone. "He's obviously not interested if he ran away… Oh?" The black-haired man spotted Shizuo.

Shizuo gritted his teeth. He was_ not_ going to run away this time. He had been here first, and he would stay here until that… _freak_ would walk past him.

Meanwhile, the said freak had looked away from Shizuo and was now arguing with whoever was on the other end of the line. "What are you talking about? …no, there's no one here… just the cute guy from earlier… wait, what?" He glanced to Shizuo again, raising an eyebrow.

"…yes …yes…" He said slowly, looking the bodyguard up and down.

Shizuo, confused, opened his mouth to demand what the hell the man wanted when the stranger himself suddenly sighed, flipped his phone closed, and lifted his eyes up to the top of the building facing him.

Not understanding anything at all, Shizuo warily did the same. Upon doing so, his jaw promptly dropped. "EH?"

"O-oh…" At the top of the building were no other but Shinra and Celty, the former nervously fiddling with his glasses. "Er… Shizuo, meet Izaya, he's my friend from middle school! Izaya, meet Shizuo, he's my friend from elementary school… a-and also the guy you thought was cute, too, I guess… a-anyway, we better go, right, Celty?"

If she had a head, Celty would have definitely face-palmed, but as awkward as the situation was, she decided to simply nod and drove off.

_VROOOM! (NEEIGGHHH!)_

"…" Shizuo was still incredulously gaping at where they had been until he remembered what Shinra had said before…

" _He's not some 'random guy I picked out from a laboratory', Shizuo-kun._ _He's an old friend of mine whom I attended middle school with…"_

…oh… SHIT.

"Ahaha. Well, wasn't this an interesting first meeting?" The freak, no Izaya, no, HIS DATE remarked, laughing carelessly. "I suppose I should introduce myself properly, then." He grinned at Shizuo before slipping his cell phone into his pocket. "Orihara Izaya. Nice to meet you."

"Ah… o-oh… um…" Shizuo stuttered awkwardly, now feeling deeply embarrassed. "I… I'm Shizuo. Heiwajima Shizuo… hey, listen, I-"

"You thought I was a girl?" Izaya asked coyly, stepping closer to Shizuo. "Or you didn't think I'd be this… strange?"

"N-no, I-I mean, I knew you were a guy…" The blond hastily said, involuntarily taking a step back, only to remember he was against a wall. "Wh-what I mean is that-"

The cocky grin on Izaya's face was growing as he stepped closer to Shizuo _again_. "Then, which are you? Uke or a seme?"

"I… WH-WHAAT?" Shizuo could feel his face flushing deeply in embarrassment. "N-No! I mean… I… Shinra really didn't tell me anything about this thing!"

"Oh?" The red eyes seem to laugh at him.

"Y-yeah, just ten minutes ago…" Shizuo went on quickly, hating how this man made him so uneasy. It was like just by looking at him, Shizuo felt his strength leave him… IT MUST BECAUSE HE HATED THAT MAN, DAMN IT!

"Well, that's not _too_ last minute…" Izaya winked at him again, his eyes glinting dangerously. "Are you up for it?"

Shizuo stared at this man for a few seconds, shocked, before continuing. "B-but the truth is, you see, well, I'm not really… looking for a relationship right now… uh… um…" He ended up trailing off pathetically, lost in the crimson gaze.

Izaya chuckled, leaning toward Shizuo's face. "Isn't that what they always say in love stories, Shizuo-kun?"

…THE HELL? LOVE STORY? Shizuo gawked, flabbergasted. Was this man insane? Shizuo… and him? Together? EWW! No, NO, _NO_! He had to say something…. He had to set this man straight…

"…I don't like you." Shizuo finally said bluntly, scowling as he stared straight into Izaya's face.

Unfortunately for Shizuo, the statement had an opposite effect. "Well," Izaya replied brightly, "I think I like you! We'd balance each other out, then!"

"N-NO, WE WOULDN'T!" Shizuo raged, finally starting to snap.

"Oh?" Still grinning, the black clad man went even closer, if it were possible, to the blond. "You have a temper? …even better…"

"G-get away from me!" Shizuo yelled, hastily throwing out his arm to hit him, but only meeting air. "Wha-"

"Heh, all right then, calm down." Izaya had dodged the blow with such speed, it was almost as if he had teleported. RIGHT NEXT TO SHIZUO AGAIN.

"Gah…" Shizuo jerked his head around hastily, not wanting to let Izaya out of his sight.

"Ahaha…" The quiet laughter sifted through the air like wind. "Don't worry, then, don't worry. I won't try to pressure you into going out with me…"

Shizuo only tensed more at these words. Something in that grin was bothering him…

"But, we can be friends, can't we?" The man asked, his eyes lowering teasingly.

"Wha… no!" Shizuo snapped, glaring as hard as he could. "I DON'T like you!"

"Hm… but you've only met me just now, haven't you? You really shouldn't make judgments… on first impressions, Shizuo-kun~"

The blond scowled, too intent on continuing his glowering to realize that the man was stealthily making his way nearer to him…

"Fuck that. Get lost!" Shizuo spat defiantly.

Izaya's grin only seemed to grow. "Oh, but I don't plan on getting lost… I think I like Shizuo-kun a lot… and if you insist that you're not interested in dating anyone at the moment…"

In a flash, Izaya's mouth was hovering over Shizuo's ear. "…I'll just be Shizuo-kun's friend."

Shizuo froze in what he was certain was disgust, especially when the cool breath blew against his skin again...

"…Shizuo-kun's…" Without warning, Shizuo felt his ass being squeezed. "…_very_,_ VERY_ GOOD friend…" The blond's face flushed for the third time before he could stop it.

Before he could jump away from the peverted man and throw a nearby vending machine (or a sign, at least) at him, Izaya was already walking calmly away.

"I'll see you soon! Shizuo-kun..."

* * *

**Chapter one done. Hurray! *eliminates plot bunny with machine gun* Now I wait for my best friend to laugh her butt off at me... oh well, review, advice, constructively criticize, flame, do whatever you want, but flames will just be extinguished. XP**


	2. Stalker!

**A/N: ...okay. Um, some people favorited and alerted this story, so... I guess that means they like it? Thanks... ^_^" Oh, and I realized I made several mistakes on the first chapter, so I tried to fix them... ah... =_=**

**Oh well, thank you for my two awesome reviewers! You have forever lasting awesomeness and my eternal appreciation! ^^ Oh, and yes, MyraHellsing, Izaya and Shizuo... either went to different high schools or they did and... just didn't meet? **

**...Oh, and there is probably major OOCness in this story. That includes Shinra and Izaya. I think I made Shizuo yell too much... oh well. XD**

**And if some parts seem really funny, it's because a good third of this chapter was typed at three in the morning right after my friend and I were watching this movie that shouldn't have been scary, but it still scared us, sadly, and then, being the silly and paranoid humans we were, we started hearing all these little unexplainable noises and so I tried typing some of this stuff up in order to stop us from creeping out. ^_^**

**...and most of Shizuo's anger rants are probably from me since at the time, there was this annoying moth that kept flitting and landing on my screen and I got irritated by it and told it to just burst into flames. Hey, my friend was getting annoyed by it too! XD**

**Warning****: ...some perverted comments and suggestions... and a lot of swearing. **

**I also don't own Durarara! or Izaya would have gotten hit by that elephant slide in episode 6.**

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* * *

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_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

A chill went down Shinra's spine. The very ringtone of the phone itself sounded angry. Bracing himself, the underground doctor bravely put a finger on the device, willing it not to explode.

It didn't. That was a good sign…

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! _

Shinra took a deep breath. He supposed this would mean that he and Celty would spend the rest of their lives typing whatever they wanted to say on phones… oh well… it was nice being able to hear for the first twenty-four years of his life… With a surprising amount of courage, he picked up his cell phone and flicked it, steadying himself for the explosion that was about to come…

_Click. _

"Hel-"

"**SHIIIIIINRAAAAAAA****!**" The scream shattered the peaceful morning atmosphere almost neatly, if such a thing did make sense…

"A-AAGH!" …All right. Nothing actually eardrum shattering. He probably just lost some of his high-pitched receptor cells… and not all of them, either!

"Sh-Shizuo-kun… um… I take it that you… didn't like Izaya?"

"WHY THE **FUCK** DID YOU… THAT… THAT **FREAK**…. ME ….HIM... WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT MESSED UP BASTARD? WHY THE HECK DID YOU SET HIM UP WITH ME?"

"…w-well… I thought you would be good as a… couple?"

"COUPLE? COUPLE?" On the other end of the line, it was miracle that Shizuo's phone hadn't been crushed to pieces yet. "DO YOU KNOW HOW FREAKY THAT FREAK IS? DO YOUUUUUUUUUU! AND HE'S A FUCKING PERVERT! AND HE'S A FREAK! HE'S A FREAK!"

"….Y-yes, that is true-"

"OH, SO YOU **KNEW** THAT HE WAS A PERVERTED, STALKERISH FREAK, SHINRA, AND YOU **THOUGHT** WE WOULD BE GOOD AS A **COUPLE**?"

"W-well, Shizuo, no offense meant, but you're not exactly a normal person either, if you know what I mean…."

"…."

"…"

"…Shizuo, you really shouldn't break your phone…"

"OH? GIVE ME ONE FUCKING REASON WHY I SHOULD GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THIS PIECE OF JUNK BEFORE I DO BREAK IT AND THEN SHOVE THE REMAINS IN YOUR FACE, SHINRA!"

"…because you'll have a harder time yelling at me like this?"

"…" When he didn't hear an immediate roar in response, Shinra took the opportunity to not-so-wisely add in; "If you say Izaya's a pervert, Shizuo-kun, then I'm assuming that he likes you, since he only ever shows his perverted side to people he li-"

"ARRGGGGGGHHHH!" With another scream of frustration, Shizuo snapped his cell shut roughly, the phone, miraculously, not breaking at all…

Behind him, several people stared at him in astonishment and fear. The former bartender sent an angry "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT" kind of glare at them.

"….eeep."

"…"

In an extremely foul mood, the blond stomped away to find Tom.

* * *

Five minutes later…

"And you wouldn't believe what a freak he was! He was such a freak… why anyone would want to even _talk_ to him for a few seconds…"

"…Shizuo, weren't you just complaining about how he must be a pretty boy and has stupid girls worshipping him?" His employer offered hesitantly. He went ignored.

"He's a pervert, too!" Shizuo added, angrily crushing the cigarette between his teeth.

"W-well, I thought you said that he said he only wanted to be friends-"

"RIGHT BEFORE HE TOUCHED MY ASS!"

"…"

"…O-okay, but at least that's better than him saying you had a bad-looking ass, right?"

"…" Tom hastily turned around when he realized Shizuo had stopped walking, and that a familiar dangerous aura was now radiating from him.

"A-ah, my bad. I'm just supposed to just agree with everything you're saying in this kind of situation, aren't I?"

"…" A bad-tempered expression remaining on his face, Shizuo continued to walk.

Nervous, Tom also started walking again. "S-so, this guy, Izaya… he sounds like a real jerk… er… right?"

"Hmph! Jerk is too nice of a word for the likes of him!" Shizuo turned his head to the side angrily. "Hopefully, I'll never see him again…"

"…from the way you described him, I don't think that's the case, Shizuo…"

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't be surprised! He seems like a stalker! Hell, he probably is a stalker, Shinra so much as admitted that to me on the phone! A stalker and a freak! And such an UGLY stalker, too…"

"…" Tom decided it would be best to remain quiet and let Shizuo rant on.

"Everything about him is freaky, Tom! His eyes are this red vampire color! They just... look at you! It's so freakin' disturbing! And the way he walks like he owns the whole city! I don't like him… I don't like him at all… no, I hate him! I hate him! I want him to die! I want to kill him…. Yes… Izaya needs to die! I'll kill him! I'll freaking kill him! Just you watch, if that… that freak ever dares to show his ass here, I'll beat the shit out of him before killing him! I swear that if h-"

"…Shizuo, I hate to point this out, but for someone that you hate, you sure ramble on about him a lot…" Tom mumbled out before he could stop himself.

"…" The bodyguard's body suddenly froze up.

…Oh shit. Tom could already see the headlines… _DEBT COLLECTOR KILLED BY OWN BODYGUARD: DIED FROM VENDING MACHINE_-

"…HAHA."

Tom opened an eye warily, wondering why intense pain wasn't wracking his body yet.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA. AHAHAHAHA." Shizuo was miraculously still in the same place he was before, the cigarette still in his mouth.

"…Shizuo?"

"AHAHA. I get it… " Shizuo's eyes were hidden between the glasses, giving him an eerie look. "IT'S ALL THAT FREAK'S FAULT! HE'S MAKING ME TALK ABOUT HIM ON PURPOSE! GODDAMN IT… I WILL KILL HIM!"

"…" Tom blinked at his bodyguard worriedly. "…you okay, Shizuo?" He immediately regretted saying the question.

"Pfft!" The blond continued walking. "Of course I'm fine! And I will kill that freak if he tries to come near me again! Don't doubt me, Tom, I will! I WILL KILL HIM…"

"Er… all right…" Not for the first time, Tom found himself worried for his employee's sanity… and for his own as well….

Their path led them, as it always did, to Russian Sushi.

"Tom! Shizuo!" Simon called out to them eagerly. "Are you on lunch break? Then come and eat sushi! You can bring your date, Shizuo!"

"Grrrrrrr…" Shizuo felt his eye twitch. "SIMON! I… DON'T HAVE ANY DATE!"

"Eh?" The large man blinked. "…but Shinra was saying your date is Izaya-san, right?" He inquired, oblivious to the frantic "cut it out" signs Tom was making in the back of Shizuo. "You two should both come here and eat sushi-"

"IZAYA IS DEFINTELY NOT MY DATE!" Shizuo yelled angrily, clenching his fists.

Simon looked at the angry bodyguard curiously. "…why not? You both would be good together…"

Shizuo snapped. "WHY THE HELL DOES EVERYONE THINK WE'D BE A GOOD COUPLE, GODDAMN IT! WELL, IT WON'T HAPPEN! I HATE THAT FREAK! IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! NEVER! DO YOU HEAR ME, SIMON, YOU BASTARD!"

"Now, now, Shizuo, don't get angry… getting angry is bad… you'll scare all the customers away…."

Tom groaned in the background. If Simon really thought that way, then why did he provoke the blond so much in the first place? Or was the Russian that ignorant?

"I DON'T CARE!" Shizuo roared in response, looking for something, preferably a sign, to throw at the tout until he suddenly smelt …THAT SMELL…

"…Shizuo?" Tom hesitantly lifted a hand to touch Shizuo's shoulder. "L-listen-"

"…something stinks."

"Huh?"

"Something stinks…" Shizuo growled, biting his cigarette in half as he glared at his surroundings suspiciously.

"…okay…"

"U-um!" Simon looked around them nervously. "I-it must be the rotting fish from that sushi around the corner, not us! They always serve rotting fish!"

"No, it is not some goddamn rotting fish…" Shizuo twisted his head left and right, like some sort of hunting dog. His eyes widened in sudden realization behind his blue sunglasses. "IT'S HIM!"

"….huh?" Was all poor Tom could say.

Shizuo turned away urgently. "IT'S HIM! THAT FREAK! IZAYA! HE STINKS!"

"…so… you can smell this Izaya person?" Tom began wearily before Shizuo interrupted him. "…HE'S CLOSE!"

"…is he?" The debt collector asked dubiously as Simon continued to insist that the smell was coming from the other sushi store.

"YES, HE IS!" Shizuo began hastily running away towards a random park. "AND I AM NOT LETTING THAT FREAK GET NEAR ME, GODDAMN IT!"

For several seconds, Tom just stared after his bodyguard incredulously.

"…"

"…"

"That smell didn't honestly come from our sushi, it was the sushi from the other corner-"

"Yes, yes, Simon…" Tom was turning away from the tout when he spotted a man wearing a fur coat strolling casually towards them. "…wait a minute… that couldn't be…"

"Oh, Izaya-san!" Simon immediately stopped his pleas about that other sushi restaurant and seemed to focus all of his attention on the man. "Are you here to eat sushi? It's good and cheap!"

"Ah, yes…" Izaya paused in his lazy walk. "I was just in the mood for some ootoro again…"

"Say…" Tom asked before Simon could say anything else. "…you wouldn't be Orihara Izaya, would you?"

"Hm?" Izaya glanced carelessly at the man. "That's me. Why?"

"Oh…" The debt collector scratched his back awkwardly. "It's just that, my bodyguard, actually, really, really seems to hate you, that's all."

Izaya's eyes snapped back to Tom, now full of interest. "Bodyguard? …he wouldn't be…."

"…yeah, he's Heiwajima Shizuo."

"Shizuo-kun?" Izaya blinked before an urgent expression came onto his face. "Was he here? Where is he now?"

"Oh, he was right here until he ran off saying something about smelling something bad… then saying it was… you… and that…. He didn't really want to see you…"

"I'm telling you, that stink Shizuo smelled was from the sushi of the sushi shop around corner!" Simon yelled from behind them. He was ignored.

"He… can smell me?" Izaya repeated slowly. Suddenly, his face broke out in a wide grin. "EHEHE. HE CAN SMELL ME…"

"…"

"Where did he go?" The creepy man offered, still grinning at a now freaked out Tom.

"Uh… that way?" The debt collector offered feebly.

"Thank you!" Suddenly, a fifty thousand yen bill was pressed into Tom's hand as Izaya seemed to fly off in the said direction.

"...what about the ootoro?" Simon asked, looking crushed.

"…I guess…" Tom scratched at his deadlocks, with the hand that wasn't holding the money, temporarily stunned. "…Shizuo seems more important to him… I better give Shizuo a week off, from the looks of things…"

"…Well, Tom-san, you'll be eating sushi, then, RIGHT?"

"…ah."

* * *

"P-phew…" Shizuo wiped sweat off of his forehead. "Good thing I didn't run into _him_ again…. Jeez…" The man took his sunglasses off and shoved them into his breast pocket, still mumbling on that it was good that he ran away before that… thing could find him…

Just as he was straightening up, as fate would have it, Shizuo heard a soft chuckle, a sound that caused the hairs on his neck to rise in horror.

"Ahaha… you're that desperate to escape me?"

"HUH?" Shizuo whirled around to see Izaya, hands in his pockets, smirk on his face… etc, etc… "….Y-YOUUUU!"

"…yes, that is my name, 'You'…."

"G-GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" The blond roared, immediately searching for any of possible weapon.

Izaya pouted childishly. "Why should I? I just ran all the way here to be with you…"

"WHAT? I JUST RAN ALL THE WAY HERE TO GET THE FRICK **AWAY** FROM YOU!" Shizuo yelled before spotting a street sign near him and instinctively uprooting it with a wrench.

"Hmm…" Izaya tilted his head slyly, not the least bit scared. "It's not kind to make others chase you like that, Shizuo-kun… you really didn't strike me as the type who wants to get chased-"

"WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO BE CHASED BY YOU?"

_CRASH!_

The black-haired man let out a laugh as smoke wreathed up from the wreckage a few yards away from them. "Tsk, tsk, you really should be careful when you're throwing things like that, someone could get hurt! Myself, for example…"

"ARGH!" Trembling in rage, Shizuo hastily turned around. "Just get lost, you, you… you flea! FLEA! YES, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE! FLEA! A FUCKING PARASITE THAT NO ONE WANTS!"

"Oh, you've already made up a pet name for me?" Izaya asked eagerly, walking toward Shizuo. "I suppose that means I should come up with one too…"

"…" Shizuo's jaw dropped. This man was definitely insane. "…IT'S NOT A DAMN 'PET NAME', STUPID FLEA, IT'S AN INSULT-"

"Oh, I know!" Izaya interrupted cheerfully. "How about Shizu-chan?"

"…WHAAAAAAAAT?" The blond demanded in incredulous anger.

"Shizu-chan… yes, it has a nice ring to it!" The "flea" clapped his hands together happily. "I'll call you Shizu-chan then, from now on, all right?"

"NO, NOT ALL RIGHT, DAMN IT! GET THE HELL AWAY! DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE CALL ME THAT OR I'LL KILL YOU! PAINFULLY!"

Izaya seem to pause thoughtfully before smirking. "Shizu-chan can kill me _romantically_ if he wants to…"

"THE FUCK, FLEA?" The fur-coated man barely had time to dodge the bush hurled at him as dirt flew everywhere. At this point, the two of them were alone in the park, all bystanders having fled the scene long ago.

"You were going to kill me with shrubbery? …not the most effective way to end one's life…" Before Shizuo could find something else to throw, Izaya was suddenly right in his face. "…I don't think you actually _want_ to kill me, do you, Shizu-chan…"

"GAH! WHAT THE HELL, FLEA? GET THE FUCK AWAY!" Desperately trying to ignore the sudden burning feeling in his stomach, the blond shoved Izaya back roughly.

"Haha!" Not seeming ruffled at all, Izaya raised an eyebrow and gave Shizuo a coy look. "Hmm… you really do like playing hard to get, don't you?"

"WHA… FUCK NO! WILL YOU STOP THAT SHIT ALREADY?" Shizuo hastily looked sideward to hide his heating face. "…I thought you just wanted to be friends, anyway…" He added grumpily.

"Ah, ah…" Izaya held up a teasing finger. "But I said I wanted to be Shizu-chan's very, _VERY_ GOOD friend… that's a big difference from a simple 'friend'… ehehe."

"…" Shizuo's eye twitched. "…you are suck a freak…"

"I am supposed to feel insulted or complimented?"

"THAT WAS A FUCKING INSULT, NOT A FUCKING COMPLIMENT, FLEA! LEARN SOME SOCIAL SKILLS, WILL YOU?"

"Oh, well, I still feel complimented." Somehow, with that creepy way of his, Izaya's voice was once again breathing over Shizuo's ear. "Thank you, Shizu-chan…"

"WH-WHAT THE HELL, FLEA? CUT THAT SHIT OUT!" Shizuo snapped, backing away from Izaya. "AND _DON'T_ CALL ME THAT!"

"But Shizu-chan seems to match you more…"

"_WHAT_?" The blond almost choked in indignation.

"Oh, don't worry, I can tell that you secretly like being called that…"

"YOU ARE ON FUCKING DRUGS, DAMN IT!" The flying trashcan that followed this declaration just barely missed the top of Izaya's hair, only fueling Shizuo's anger and frustration.

"Drugs?" As if he hadn't just avoided a major injury, Izaya raised his eyebrows in mock confusion. "What on earth would make you think that, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo's eye twitched again. "TH-THAAAAAAT, FLEA! STOP CALLING ME SHIZU-CHAN, AND QUIT MESSING WITH ME!"

"Messing with you?" The same predatory smile curled up on Izaya's lips. "Oh no, let me assure you that isn't my… _intention_…" A strange feeling rose in Shizuo's stomach once more at these words, and the man had to resist the urge to step back.

"Th… then what the hell do you want, flea?" Shizuo growled, trying to cover up his uneasiness.

Red eyes glittered at him playfully. "I want… the same thing that I wanted yesterday, Shizu-chan…"

"Like what, MY ASS?" The bodyguard demanded, his face flushing involuntarily at the memory.

Izaya laughed again. "Ahahaha! Well, as appealing as that it is, it still isn't to satisfy me."

"Then wha-"

"I want to go with Shizu-chan." Izaya answered bluntly.

"…EH?" Shizuo gawked at him stupidly.

"On… a…. date." Izaya added, pausing after each word as if it would be hard for Shizuo to understand. And in a way, it was…

"…WHAT" Shizuo looked at him, flabbergasted. "…WHY?"

"Why? Because it _is_ the reason why we met!" The black-haired man pointed out cheerfully. "We're supposed to go on a date together, aren't we?"

"G-GAAAAAAAH!" A stone bench came hurtling Izaya's way. "IF THAT'S THE CASE, THEN I REJECT YOU, FLEA!"

"You reject me? Oh, my heart!" Dodging the bench with little effort, Izaya put a hand on his chest in fake hurt. "I beg you, give me a chance, Shizu-chan! You haven't even tried!"

"I DON'T EVEN NEED TO TRY WHEN IT'S SOMEONE LIKE YOU!" Shizuo yelled hysterically before starting to lift the other stone bench.

"...do you do things like this often, Shizu-chan?" Izaya questioned without a hint of alarm, gesturing to the all the damage surrounding the two.

The second bench went flying straight at his face, only to smash harmlessly (or not) into the fountain. "ONLY WHEN ASSES LIKE YOU SHOW UP!"

"Oh, does that mean I'm special to Shizu-chan, then? Aww, I'm so touched~!"

"DAMN YOU… WHEN WILL IT GET TO YOUR FUCKED-UP HEAD?" Shizuo shouted, stomping up to Izaya and grabbing the front of the flea's jacket with both hands. "I. DON'T. LIKE. YOU!" He spat, empathizing each word carefully. "AT ALL!" The blond added, shaking the man for good measure.

Instead of shrinking away, as any SANE person would have done in this situation, Izaya leaned closer to Shizuo, one of his hands coming up to rest on the blond's face. "And I like YOU, Shizu-chan. A _lot_…" The red-eyed man whispered, his face coming _very_ close to Shizuo's.

"A-ah!" His heart pounding in alarm, Shizuo let go out of the fur coat as fast as if it was full of Shinra's needles. "I… I don't give a damn about what you think! I still hate you, flea!" Shizuo yelled defensively, backing up a couple of paces.

"Do you?" A smirk once more in place, Izaya simply shortened the distance between them. "Then, perhaps if you went out with me, maybe you'll change your mind and like me too…"

"A-AS IF THAT WOULD HAPPEN!" Running out of makeshift weapons, Shizuo settled for tearing one of the trees out of the ground. "GET… OUT… OF… MY SIGHT…" The roots of the poor tree started to slowly rip-

"I really don't think that's a wise thing to do, Shizu-chan. You've basically destroyed everything here except for the trees… and it's not a good thing for the environment, either!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, FLEA!" Shizuo managed to snap, grunting with effort. The leaves of the tree started to tremble violently as the bodyguard almost had it free…

"Oh well." Izaya shrugged carelessly from behind. "If you want to really do it, go right ahead. Besides, I have to admit…"

_RIP!_

Finally! The stupid tree roots had at last given way, and then Shizuo could-

"…An angry Shizu-chan is far more sexy." Izaya finished, gazing at Shizuo almost hungrily.

"…WH-WHAAAAAT?" Shizuo had uprooted the tree only to gape at Izaya like an idiot. What did the flea just call him?

The said flea simply grinned, walking to the stunned blond and turning so he was right behind Shizuo. "You heard me, Shizu-chan…" Izaya hissed, inhaling in Shizuo's neck, causing the man to stiffen, his heart was again throbbing.

The two arms that wrapped around the bartender vest did little to help, and to his mortification, Shizuo felt his face heat up. Why? There was no way he could possibly be attracted to this… this freak, this flea, this annoying-

"You…" Izaya was now nuzzling his neck softly, "…are as _sexy_ as hell…"

"G-" Panic was now starting to flutter in Shizuo's stomach. Why hadn't he turned around and beat this bastard up already? The tree was still in his grasp… yet… why was he feeling so damn _weak_? It wasn't supposed to be like this!

But a hand suddenly groping Shizuo's butt for the SECOND time quickly put an end to all thoughts.

"FLEA-"

"Shizu-chan, I WILL see you soon~!" Izaya sang cheerfully, slithering his arms out of from Shizuo's waist and practically skipping away.

Shizuo stared after him for several seconds, his mouth still wide open.

He... hated this. He hated the way Izaya had whispered in his neck. He hated the way Izaya's arms had encircled him. He hated the way his face had flushed, and he also hated the fact that it was still flushed at this moment.

But he especially hated the way his heart had skipped when those pale hands had slid slowly across his hips, as if reluctant to let go.

"…"

Twenty-five milliseconds later, the tree went soaring into the roof of a random building. The resulting crash that followed was nothing compared to the raged shout that actually shook the few remaining park trees.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

* * *

_Five hours of Shizuo taking his anger out on buildings later..._

"Damn flea, fucking flea, I hate him, I'll kill him, I'll fucking kill him..." Was basically what Shizuo mumbled to himself as he trudged home to his apartment, his sunglasses on once more, fists clenched tightly in his pockets.

_"You... are as _sexy_ as hell..."_ NO! DON'T THINK THAT SHIZUO, DON'T THINK THAT! WRONG THOUGHTS, WRONG THOUGHTS! WHY THE HECK HAD THAT COME FROM ANYWAY?

"Damn him!" The blond muttered again, trying to ignore the blush on his face. "I hate him, that sick freak... Maybe he'll just drop dead tomorrow so I can live in peace..."

As he approached his house, Shizuo rummaged in his pocket for his key, still grumbling on about Izaya. "Damn pervert... can't keep his hands to himself... should just burst into flames... Goddam perverted little flea-EH?" His body froze in alarm and shock as he was greeted by the sight of the "perverted flea" on his doorstep.

"Wh-what the-"

The man instantly brightened upon seeing Shizuo. "There you are, Shizu-chan! You were taking so long to come home that I was getting worried-"

"WHAT THE HELL, FLEA?" The innocent lamp post standing nearby was quickly yanked out of the ground. Poor, poor lamp post. Oh well, it wasn't like that was the first time it got yanked out...

Izaya got up, his eyes winking mischievously at the blond. "My, my, Shizu-chan, are you that eager to see m-"

"GET THE _FUCK_ AWAY!" This time, the lamp post actually caught Izaya right in the chest, much to Shizuo's satisfaction. "Oof!"

Throwing the bent lamp post to the side, Shizuo stormed up his apartment steps, opened his door, got in, locked it, and bolted it, for good measure.

"G-gah... what the hell was that about, anyway?" The bodyguard groaned wearily, taking off his sunglasses and setting them on a counter. "Ugh..." He was feeling very worn out and pissed by now. Maybe he needed to take a shower.

"What the fuck _is_ wrong with that flea bastard?" Shizuo questioned out loud, pulling off his tie. "He didn't actually stalk me to find out where I lived, did he? Or maybe Shinra told him ...damn it, this is all Shinra's fault..." The black vest soon joined the tie on the floor.

It was when Shizuo started to unbutton his white shirt that some sixth sense stirred in him, and he turned around warily to see-

Izaya sitting on his couch and practically drooling.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Aren't you going to finish unbuttoning your shirt?" It was the undisguised eagerness in the pervert's voice that snapped Shizuo out of his astonishment.

"THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE, FLEA?" Izaya barely had time to get off the couch before Shizuo attempted to kick the furniture out the window.

"Now, now, calm down, Shizu-chan..." Even as he nimbly jumped onto the counter, a dazed smile was still lingering on Izaya's face. "Weren't you going to take off your shirt-"

"_HOW_ THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE?" Shizuo demanded, his face the picture of hysteria and embarrassment.

"...I used teleportation power, Shizu-chan, it really is useful-"

"FLEA!"

"Just kidding, Shizu-chan, just kidding. Actually, I opened the door and stepped inside."

"A DOOR THAT WAS FUCKING LOCKED AND BOLTED!"

"Well, before I opened it, I _unlocked_ the door-"

"AND HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT, I DESTROYED THE OTHER SPARE KEY A LONG TIME AGO-"

"Yes, yes, Shizu-chan, three and a half months ago, you crushed it into a powder when you were angry at your neighbor's cat." Izaya answered, still looking like he was high or something. "But I had a _copy_ of your key, which I used to unlock (and unbolt) your door."

"...AND HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MANAGE TO GET A COPY OF MY KEY?" Shizuo yelled, not calming down a bit. A sudden thought struck him. "...HANG ON, IZAYA, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU _KNOW_ THAT WHEN AND WHY I BROKE THE OTHER KEY-"

"OH!" Izaya put a hand over his heart. "Shizu-chan! My name sounds so beautiful when you say it! ...if only you could scream it, too.. As for your question, I stole your key, make a copy of it, and then returned it to you without you noticing."

"AND JUST WHEN DID YOU DO THAT? I'VE ONLY KNOWN YOU FOR A DAY! ...AND WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION, DAMN IT!"

"...I did it last night. I took it from your pocket while I... said goodbye to you, and then sneaked up on you before you arrived at your apartment and slipped it back in your pocket with my teleportation powers!"

"...WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT, FLEA? ...AND ANSWER THE OTHER QUESTION!"

Izaya suddenly grinned creepily. "Because I wanted to be able to.. interact with you on a regular basis."

"WHAT ABOUT MY OTHER QUESTION, DAMN IT!"

"Well, Shizu-chan, that answer will only make you angrier-"

"HOLY SHIT, YOU FUCKER! YOU'VE BEEN STALKING ME, HAVEN'T YOU? THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE!"

"...I looked it up on Google. I don't see how wanting to know a little background information on my crush is so... infuriating-"

"Damn it..." Shizuo gritted his teeth, furious. "You've been asking Shinra about me too, haven't y... wait." Not for the second time that day, Shizuo stared at Izaya incredulously. "Did you just call me your CRUSH?"

Izaya smiled seductively. "Would you prefer sweetheart instead?"

Before Shizuo could respond by throwing another heavy object at the man, something actually flew into his apartment through a window.

"..."

"..."

"What the..." Now Shizuo found himself gawking disbelievingly at another... object. Wasn't that window just closed? "...this is becoming such a fucked up day..."

Izaya seemed honestly surprised as well. "...Are we being watched?" The man murmured, red eyes narrowing suspiciously as he walked towards the window. He didn't want anyone else watching Shizuo, Shizuo was _his_ to stalk, er, follow-

Meanwhile, the blond had identified the object as a balled up piece of paper. "What the hell is this?" Shizuo growled, bending down to pick it up carefully.

Seeing no one suspicious from the window, Izaya turned around.

And saw Shizuo's butt raised up when the blond bent down.

"..."

"..."

Not knowing what was happening behind him, the bodyguard straightened up as he tried to uncrumple the piece of paper. To his surprise, there was four words in an unfamiliar handwriting.

_Shizuo, look behind you._

...what?

Shizuo turned around.

And saw Izaya clutching his face, his eyes seeming to pop out.

"...Izaya?"

"...ehehehehe." Was all the black-haired man could get out as blood started to seep between his fingers.

Shizuo replayed the situation in his mind, and, surprisingly, it didn't take him long to put two and two together.

_CRASH!_

"YOU FUCKING PERVERT!" Ordinarily, when someone goes flying out of a window with blood gushing out of their nose, they don't smile.

Naturally, Izaya did. "...aaaah..."

"Izaya-san?"

The man barely registered the sound of Namie's amazed voice. "...oh..."

"...What happened to you?" The woman asked bluntly. "You look like a complete idiot."

Izaya could only giggle in an almost drunken sounding way. "Ehehehehehe... ehehehe..."

"...You sound like a complete idiot as well..."

"Ah... Namie... I think I'm in love..."

"..."

"Well, I give whoever it is my deepest sympathy."

* * *

After making sure Izaya was REALLY gone, Shizuo took a hasty shower.

Before going to bed, the blond took the paper from earlier, turned it around, and dug out a pencil from a messy drawer.

It was time to think of some ideas to get rid of Izaya...

* * *

**...Inexpertly written, I know. XD So how many of you are betting that everything Shizuo tries will either be fruitless or make Izaya like him even more?**

**Oh, and if you have any ideas you want me to take, I'll be happy to accept! ^^**

**...one last thing. If you liked this chapter, then could you review?**** Please? :D**


	3. FAILED!

**A/N: OH... GOD... I... AM... SO... SORRY... GAH! I get so many reviews from you AWESOME people, and instead this chapter comes really, really, late... oh god. I am so sorry. I really am. I was planning to do at least on Sunday, but school is such a bi... AHEM, female dog this year, and then for this club activity, I ended up having to pick up all of Shizuo's cigarette butts he left on the ground that somehow was transported across the Pacific Ocean from Tokya to Hawaii... just kidding, but there was cigarette butts... and bottle caps... and a piece of pipe... and a light bulb...**

**All right, enough with the babbling excuses. XD I'm so glad many people found the last chapter funny! YAY! ^0^ ...unfortunately, this chapter will now probably considered as fail compared to it. =_= Ah... sorry...**

**Anyway, I'm going to reply to all the reviews I got last chapter, because I am one of those review-obessed people! XD**

**KT****:**** XD thank you... um, yes, the caps lock is my ultimate weakness... I love using it so much, but at the same time, it kinda gets a little bothersome to read after a while... AH... -o-"**

**MyraHellsing****: Yes, Shizuo is kinda like a tsundere... XD**

**Uccan: Oh my freakin' god, that's how my face was like too when I was rereading this thing! XD Thank you so much... **

**Annniel****:**** Haha, my sister is the one who looks at me strange, but she's now in college, so I laugh as much as I want! ...my parents... have already acknowledged my craziness! X) ...especially my mom. Hmm... maybe that's where I've inherited it from... XD**

**narcollo****: XD Thanks! I kinda like my Izaya too... Ahahahaha...**

**Kipsi: YAY, THANK YOU! ^0^ ...and sorry about the late update.. ^_^"**

**Epouvantable****: XD thanks! ...and yes, I think I got carried away with Shizuo's yelling and all... **

**NeutronStarsCollide****: Awesome! ^.^ Thank you! Writing nosebleeds kinda makes me nervous, so I'm glad you liked it...**

**Nic. Lan: Haha, poor Shizuo... XD I hope your throat's gonna be okay...**

**br0kenstar****: Of course, Izaya only follows... never stalks.. XD Sorry about late update again...**

**firestone99****: Eh... thank you! ^.^**

**hpalabay****: XD AWESOME LAUGH! :D THANK YOUUUUUUU!**

**Allen Nara****: Ahaha, thanks! ...and yes, I'm writing, I'm writing! **

**marshmello dtk: XD SANKYUU~! ...and don't worry, there definitely will be some... er... weak moments? X)**

**random passerby****: Haha, well, here it is! :D**

**

* * *

**

Shizuo scratched his mop of hair with his left hand as he stared thoughtfully at the blank paper. How could he possibly get rid of Izaya? Was such a feat even possible?

A scowl formed on the handsome face. Of course it was! It had to be! There must be some way… With this in mind, Shizuo hastily scribbled a title across the paper.

_WAYS TO GET IZAYA TO STOP LIKING ME:_

Blunt, perhaps? Well, that was basically it in a nutshell…

Shizuo blinked at the paper for a few seconds before taking the pencil again and writing in smaller letters beneath it.

_1. Tell Izaya that I don't like him._

Yes, Shizuo was aware that he had already done such a thing several times, however… maybe if he said it in a certain way, the flea might take him seriously…

It was worth it a try, wasn't it? …right?

Standing up with a groan, Shizuo dropped the pencil on the paper before crawling miserably into bed.

* * *

_The next day…_

"Huh? Hello?" Shizuo answered hastily, pulling on his shirt with one hand as the other was clutching his cell phone.

"Hi, it's me." The bodyguard blinked as he recognized Tom's voice. "Oh, Tom…"

"Morning." His employer replied cheerfully on the other end. "Hey, Shizuo, I know this is kind of last minute, but..."

"Eh?"

"...you wouldn't mind taking this week and next week off, would you?"

Shizuo's eyes widened. "What?"

"Oh, with pay, of course, haha!"

"Uh…" An ominous feeling starting to churn in his stomach, Shizuo got up and managed to button the rest of his shirt. "Tom, why are you suddenly giving me a week off?"

"I just thought you needed a break, that's all…" The debt collector said. "Besides, I have some stuff I need to take care of out of Ikebukuro, and trust me, you wouldn't want to be dragged along!"

"Okay…" Shizuo said slowly. He wanted to believe Tom, but a small voice in the back of his head was whispering that this seemed just too coincidental… "Wait, Tom! What do you need to do outside of the city?"

His employer's voice suddenly dropped down to a frightened whisper. "The most scariest thing man has to face…"

"HUH?"

"Just kidding. I have to go visit my mother."

"WHAT?" Shizuo's jaw dropped in astonishment.

"Yup! So, I'll see you next week, Shizuo!"

_Click_.

"…"

Shizuo stared at the phone in his hand before closing it shut slowly. "…What the heck was that about?" The blond muttered out loud. Surely it wasn't because of… Izaya, was it? Speaking of Izaya... Shizuo frowned when he caught the scent of that bad smell again.

"Maybe it's so you can spend more time with me, Shizu-chan." Izaya answered from behind Shizuo, wrapping his arms around the former bartender's waist once more. "See? Even your employer wants us to be together…"

Shizuo growled in anger, ready to turn around and punch the man until…

…wait a minute… Izaya was in his house? ...ORIHARA IZAYA WAS IN SHIZUO'S HOUSE?

"…Flea?"

"Yes?"

"FLEA! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?" A nearby table went flying and barely missed Izaya by an inch, like almost everything does.

"To see you, of course!" Izaya said happily, twirling around and sliding his hands in his pockets. "…Tch, that's really too bad, you know…" He added, raising his thumb to jab at the crumpled table. "That was a nice table, Shizu-chan-"

"GET THE HELL OUT HERE! NOW!" Shizuo grabbed the couch and hefted it up, about to hurl it at his stalker.

"Oh, yes!" Izaya grinned and lifted a plastic bag that he had been holding the whole time, seeming oblivious to the potential danger headed his way. "I also brought this for Shizu-chan-"

"I don't give a goddamn fuck!" Shizuo snarled, drawing his arms back to throw the couch. "For the last time, flea, get the hell out!"

"Now, now, Shizu-chan, that's not the right way to receive a guest in your home-"

"Guest? You FUCKING invited YOURSELF in!"

"Dang it," Izaya whispered to the side, "most people don't know the difference…"

Shizuo, hearing this, scowled once more, but suddenly jolted as he remembered last night.

…NO, not when Izaya was getting a nosebleed while staring at Shizuo's butt, but when Shizuo was trying to think of ways to get rid of Izaya… or at least stopping Izaya from becoming interested in him…

With an irritable sigh, the bodyguard flung the couch down bad-temperedly. There was no way Izaya would take him seriously like this…

_BAM_! The walls shook a little from the force of the couch hitting the floor as Izaya raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Oh?"

Shizuo took a deep breath and crossed his arms. "L-listen here, flea…"

"Yes?"

"It's… it's not because you're another guy…" Shizuo started out awkwardly, looking away. "…but…"

"But?" The black-haired asked again, a teasing smile on his face.

"Will you just let me talk here?" Shizuo snapped. "I'm really not interested in you! I don't like you, okay? So, Izaya, please…"

His smile slowly fading, Izaya stared at Shizuo blankly.

"…just stop doing this." The blond finished resignedly, uncrossing his arms. "It wouldn't work out anyway."

An uncomfortable silence settled in the room.

"…"

"…"

Shizuo bit his lip uncomfortably and glanced nervously at Izaya, cursing himself for being such a coward.

After what felt like nine thousand years (but was actually two seconds), the black-haired man slowly walked closer to Shizuo.

"U-uh…" The blond was debating whether or not he should try to shield his butt when Izaya spoke.

"Is that really true, Shizu-chan?" Much to Shizuo's dismay, the trademark smirk was once more on Izaya's face.

"H-huh? Agh, flea… Don't act like that!" Shizuo took a step back. "Relationships and I don't mix! We don't work-HAA?" Shizuo gaped in shock as Izaya suddenly grabbed his hand.

"Flea, wha…" Izaya leaned his face close to Shizuo's, his thumb slowly rubbing small circles in Shizuo's palm.

"Ah…" To his horror, Shizuo could feel his cheeks heating up once more. NO! WHY? IT WAS JUST... "Izaya, wh-"

Still smiling, the red-eyed flea lifted Shizuo's hand and kissed it tenderly, all the time watching Shizuo's red face.

"Ugh…" The blond felt himself blush in embarrassment, a ridiculously tingling feeling spreading throughout his body. "GAH!" He hastily snatched his hand back, rubbing the back of it furiously on his sleeve. "Fucking flea, what the hell was that about-"

"You didn't seem to hate _that_…" Izaya replied shrewdly, his hand reaching for Shizuo's face again.

"Th-that-" Shizuo protested weakly before Izaya's hand boldly grabbed his chin and tilted it.

"Hmmm… you're a very interesting person, Shizu-chan." Izaya whispered, grinning as his forehead touched the blond's. "Your reactions are so obvious, yet you're so stubborn…"

"Wh-what the heck are you talking about, flea? I said it before, I don't like you-AGH?" Shizuo's eyes widened as Izaya's slid down halfway.

"…"

"…"

Shizuo felt something wet. Something slimy. Something slimy that was on his cheek. Something that felt like a dog licking him. Except...

THAT.

WAS.

NOT.

A.

DOG'S.

TONGUE.

ON.

HIS.

FACE.

_SLURRRP! _Izaya's tongue finally left Shizuo's cheek with a sticky kinda sound.

The bodyguard stared at him in absolute horror. WHAT THE FUCK? Did that… that… FLEA… just LICK him? "WHAT THE HELL, FLEA?"

"Mmm…" The crazy person licked his lips and looked at Shizuo thoughtfully. "…You taste like milk… yummy…"

Shizuo's jaw dropped to the floor with a loud bang sound effect from the background. WHAT DID IZAYA JUST SAY?

"Ahaha!" Before the blond could blink again, Izaya had already turned away, the hand leaving his chin. "I can wait, Shizu-chan. It might seem hard for you to believe, but I'm a patient person when it comes to getting things I _really_ want."

"H-huh?" Shizuo could only gawk stupidly as Izaya dropped the plastic bag on the counter.

"Hopefully, I'll see you again soon!" He added, starting for the door.

"E-eh… ah… huh…wha… WAIT!" Shizuo ran after Izaya. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT, FLEA? ARE YOU SOME FUCKING MUTT? YOU FREAK!"

"Hehe... I was just getting a little preview taste for what is soon to be mine, Shizu-chan… MUAHAHAHA-"

"THE FUCK? GIVE UP! FLEA, DON'T YOU DARE JUST SNEAK IN HERE ALL CREEPY LIKE AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME? DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU FUCKING LITTLE CREPPY MOLESTER-"

"I got it, I got it!" Izaya turned back and gave a cheerful salute to Shizuo. "Next time, knock and THEN I can come in and molest you. Okay with that, Shizu-chan?"

"N-NO! NOT OKAY!" Shizuo raged, wanting to punch Izaya but at the same time slightly afraid that he might get licked again. "A-at least… wait for me to answer the door, goddamn it-"

"Ah!" The man turned around eagerly. "You'll be waiting for me, then?"

"FUCK NO! THEN I'LL BE WARNED OF YOUR VISIT AND I CAN ESCAPE BEFORE YOU LICK ME AGAIN OR SOME OTHER FREAKY THING! NOW GET THE HELL OUT!"

Izaya winked. "Oh, I think you'll have a hard time escaping me, Shizu-chan… and I was going to leave, but _you_ stopped me…"

"FLEA-"

"Bye~~~~!" With that, Izaya shut the door, leaving behind a very angry and very flushed Shizuo.

"…"

"…" It took another few seconds for the blond to realize what he had been trying to do before. Oh yeah. He was trying to make Izaya lose interest in him. "…"

"…Fuck!" Shizuo swore, slapping himself on the forehead. What the hell had been up with him? The flea only kissed his hand, and he suddenly felt so weak like some... some stupid girl... and then the flea actually- "GAH!" Shizuo started smack his head violently on the edge of the counter (yeah, why not destroy the rest of your remaining brain cells, Shizuo, they've gone insane long ago) when the plastic bag Izaya left caught his eye.

"..." Should he open it? Shizuo groaned out loud. Maybe not... The thing looked innocent enough, at the same time, it was from ORIHARA IZAYA...

Shizuo opened it with the manner of someone opening a dead crocodile's gut. And with good reason...

The blond's eyes bugged out as they fell on the object of the paper bag. "...WHAT THE FUCK?" Shizuo growled out loud, his left eyebrow starting to twitch.

_CRASH!_

A chair suddenly fell out of an apartment window, startling the innocent people who were just walking by, but not as much as the scream that echoed shortly afterward.

"WHAT THE HELL, YOU FLEA? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU GIVE ME WHIPPED CREAM?"

* * *

_WAYS TO GET IZAYA TO STOP LIKING ME:_

_1. Tell Izaya that I don't like him._

Written below this was one huge, messily written word.

_**FAILED!**_

Written below "FAILED!" was...

_2. Hide from him. _

Shizuo blinked before hurriedly erasing the option, almost tearing a rip in the paper. No, that wouldn't work! Izaya had said it himself... "GRRRRRRRRRR..." The blond growled out loud before writing the first thing that came to his mind.

_2. Make myself smell so bad that he won't come near me._

"..." That... could... actually be possible...

* * *

"...I cannot believe that I'm actually doing this..." Shizuo groaned, burying his fingers in his hair. "That flea must be really fucking up my head..."

"Really? I thought I already did that..." Shinra commented, his glasses fixed upon the bottles he was rummaging through. "Besides, I thought Izaya told you that he would actually knock before entering."

Shizuo snorted. "Like that's going to be an improvement! I really need to get rid of that prick, Shinra!"

"Well, Shizuo-kun, I'm just saying, it's kind of surprising that Izaya would agree to that." The unlicensed doctor replied as he lifted a small bottle out of his cabinet. "Usually, he would refuse to do such things..."

"Oh, I'm flattered!" The blond spat sarcastically. "Have you finally found that thing yet?"

"Yes, yes..." Shinra handed Shizuo the bottle. "Here. Due to the chemicals that react when coming into contact with oxygen, it'll produce a pretty terrifying stench... are you sure you're willing to do this, Shizuo? It takes a long time for you to get rid of it-"

"You said that it's the one thing Izaya couldn't stand, right?"

"That was in middle school. Things can change..." Shinra warned as Shizuo fiddled with the bottle's cap experimentally. "O-OI, WATCH IT! Don't sniff directly from the bottle!"

"Wha?" Shizuo said, the bottle half opened. "Then how the hell am I supposed to know how strong this thing is?"

Shinra sighed, having momentarily forgotten his childhood classmate's... blond moments, he supposed. "Just hold it away from you and then open it a _little_ bit, the fumes that will come out are that strong-"

"Okay." The blond shoved the bottle straight by Shinra's face and jerked the cap off.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" The doctor clutched his face, turned green, and fell down to the ground.

_THUD!_

"..." Shizuo looked curiously at the bottle, and was just about to bring it up to his own face when the fumes actually reached his nose.

"OH... FREAKIN' ...SHIT-" The bodyguard swore, grabbing his nose and doing his best not to puke. Usually, he could hold his lunch when it came to seeing or smelling nasty things, but this was just... there were no words to describe its STINK... it stank even worst than the flea, and that was saying something-

BAM! The door flew open and Celty hurried in, her phone in front of her. _What happened? I heard a crash!_ The headless fairy slowly turned toward Shinra's prone body on the ground, then at Shizuo, who was looking a little green himself.

"..."

_What is going on here?_ You could practically hear the confusion in Celty's message.

"...oh... that's right, Celty... y-you.. c-can't... smell... that... good... can you?"

"..."

* * *

One might think that with his angry aura alone, Shizuo could send the whole city running for cover.

You can't really blame them for making such an assumption, but still it was incorrect. The ENTIRE city did not run away from Shizuo when he was just walking down the streets.

...however, it was now.

Hundreds of people were running for their sense of smell and necessary supply of fresh air as the man trudged down the streets. In less than five minutes, the bustling city of Ikebukuro was soon transformed into a ghost town.

"...well, at least this means the flea will stay away from me now..." Shizuo muttered wearily, still trying his best to stand his own smell. "I-if he's not already running away..." All Shizuo did was spill a _little_ of that liquid on his left hand. Apparently, that was more than enough.

The sunglasses suddenly jerked as Shizuo smelled a stench that, while not as extreme as his own current one, was still easy to identify.

"IZAYA..." Gritting his teeth, Shizuo whirled around.

"Shizu-chan!" The black-haired man called happily, trotting towards him. "Hello! Fancy that I would run into you this morning! Did you like my gift? I'm sure you'll save it, won't you?"

"TCH..." Shizuo decided to just ignore him as best as he could and just waited for Izaya to be able to smell... whatever was in that bottle Shinra had... Sighing, the former bartender faced Izaya and prepared to see at least the red eyes widen.

"Oh?" Izaya pouted. "Where is that cute little blush of yours?"

"B-blush?" Shizuo demanded indignantly before he could stop himself. "What are you talking about-" He quickly cut himself off. Why wasn't Izaya already barfing or something? Damn that flea...

"There you are, Shizu-chan!" Izaya cried triumphantly, dancing up to Shizuo. "You were being so quiet I was getting worried! I wouldn't know what to do if you... what's wrong?" Izaya asked, now in a voice close to concern as Shizuo stared at him with speechless eyes.

"Fl...flea..."

"Hm?"

"Wh-why aren't you... gagging or anything?" Shizuo managed as he tried his best not to breathe in the stench. "CAN'T... YOU SMELL..."

"Smell?" Izaya quirked an eyebrow curiously. "Smell what? Your intoxicating and delicious scent?" He lifted Shizuo's hand to his face and inhaled deeply, touching his lips to the skin. "Mmmm... Shizu-chan flavor..."

Shizuo gaped at him wordlessly. "Wh... what the fuck, flea? That was where I put that... shit-smelling thing on-"

"Ah?" The red eyes widened before narrowing slyly. "Oh, so that's why I wasn't seeing anyone at all today... and it would explain your scrunched up face..."

"What the hell is... wrong with you?" Shizuo choked out. "Shinra... said... you couldn't stand it either... in middle school-"

"True, true!" Izaya acknowledged, still holding Shizuo's hand. "But then there were an alarming increase of fangirls after me when I became older, so I just used that stuff to ward them all off! Now, I'm immune to it!" He finished, grinning widely.

"...you're fucking.. .kidding... me..."

"Well, Shizu-chan, thanks to you, we're all ALONE now..." Izaya started, smiling seductively as he wrapped his other arm around Shizuo's waist. "...and your face looks so adorable scrunched up like that..."

"H-HUH?" Shizuo's jaw dropped. No way...

Izaya's lips suddenly brushed Shizuo's neck, sending a shiver up the bodyguard's back. "Let's have some fun, Shizu-chan-"

"G-GET THE HELL OFF ME!" The pervert immediately went flying into the wall of a random building as Shizuo ran as fast as he could, actually puking on the way.

* * *

_WAYS TO GET IZAYA TO STOP LIKING ME:_

_2. Make myself smell so bad that he won't come near me._

**_FAILED!_**

_3. Kiss someone in front of him?_

_

* * *

_

"So..." Shizuo scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "I... just kiss you, okay? In order for this guy to stop liking me and think that I'm straight."

"Okay!" The random girl replied cheerfully.

...was this girl all right? "...kay.. um..." Shizuo quickly grabbed her shoulders and clumsily pressed his lips to hers. Only a second after he did it, Izaya's voice reached Shizuo's ears.

"I'm here, Shizu-cha-huh?" The man blinked as he took in the scene in front of him.

"..."

"..."

Shizuo pulled away from the girl, eyeing Izaya nervously. The stalker's eyes had actually disappeared under his bangs, and he looked really pissed. Oh well. At least this meant he wouldn't be grabbing Shizuo's ass anymore...

"You..." Izaya growled, slowly bringing his hand out of his pocket and making a flicking motion. And wouldn't you know, a knife suddenly appeared in his hand.

"...EH?" Shizuo sweat-dropped. This Izaya was scaring him...

"...you TOUCHED _MY_ SHIZU-CHAN!" Izaya yelled, rushing past Shizuo and charging at the girl with the knife, who simply giggled and ran away.

"..."

"..." EH? "His" Shizu-chan? What just happened? Why wasn't Izaya angry with SHIZUO?

The said man looked on in shock, his sunglasses slipping from his face. "...wha... O-OI! IZAYA, HANG ON-"

"Shizu-chan!" At once, the black-haired man turned around and rushed back to him, looking frantic. "Are you okay? Where did she touch you? Where?"

"Uh-"

"WHERE DID SHE TOUCH YOU?" Shizuo swore that he saw actual flames in Izaya's eyes. Wow... and he had thought HE had anger management problems... actually, no that was a lie, he really did have MAJOR anger management problems-

"What is her name?" Izaya demanded roughly. "I'll burn her house down!"

"N-no, Izaya, it's a... the fuck, flea? No, don't, I actually-"

"I'm so sorry, Shizu-chan..." Izaya whispered, cupping Shizuo's face and brushing his hair out of his eyes. "I should have come sooner..."

"Wha..." Was all Shizuo could get out before Izaya kissed his cheek.

_SMOOCH!_

"..."

"..."

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! FLEA!"

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

**

* * *

**

_WAYS TO GET IZAYA TO STOP LIKING ME: _

_3. Kiss someone in front of him?_

_**FAILED!**_

_4. Avoid conversation with him at all costs!_

_

* * *

_

"Shizu-chan? Shizu-chan? Shizu-chan..." Izaya finally withdrew his finger from Shizuo's side and furrowed his brow curiously. "What happened to you, Shizu-chan? ...have you been cursed speechless by the awe of our love?"

Shizuo gritted his teeth, keeping his hands balled up in his pockets. He would just ignore Izaya, he would-

"...Hmmmm..."

Oh great, the flea was now probably planning something stupid agai- "Aah!" A surprised girly-sounding yelp left Shizuo's mouth as his ass was roughly squeezed, Izaya nuzzling in his neck again.

"If Shizu-chan isn't talking to me..." A devilish smirk lit up Izaya's face as he whispered into the blond's ear. "...I'll just assume he'll want more..." Shizuo felt his face flaming as his butt was squeezed for the second time. "...action instead..."

Shizuo snapped his eyes shut. J-just ignore the flea, just ignore the flea-

Izaya frowned, disappointed with the lack of response from his crush. Well, Shizuo's blushing was wonderful, and so was that cute little sound that escaped when Izaya managed to get a hand on his butt... but still... "...maybe that's not the kind of action you want me to give?" His hand left Shizuo's butt reluctantly.

Meanwhile, a pair of school girls were walking leisurely across the sidewalk, having not noticed the two.

"Hey..." One of them murmured. "What if... THE WORLD ENDS TODAY?"

The other girl rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, sure... and maybe that guy in the fur coat in front of us will suddenly sit down and propose marriage to the bartender guy..."

Opening his eyes, Shizuo looked warily at Izaya, who had a very serious expression on his face.

"..."

"..."

"..fle-"

"...SHIZU-CHAN! FORGIVE ME! I CANNOT WAIT ANY LONGER!" Izaya suddenly exclaimed passionately, taking Shizuo's hand once more and dropping down on one knee. "MARRY ME SO I CAN MAKE LOVE TO YOU AND FEED YOU MILK AND OOTORO CAKE AT OUR WEDDING!"

"..."

"..."

THE FUCK? Shizuo's mouth fell open as he just gawked at Izaya in a mixture of incredulity and horror.

"..." Izaya suddenly tilted his head thoughtfully. "...I can't promise that you won't be wearing a dress, though-"

Now THAT sure snapped Shizuo out of his shocked/horrified state. "AAAAAARGGGGHHHHHHH!" He quickly punched Izaya in the gut, sending him soaring into the nearest building.

_CRASH!_

**BOOOOOOOOOM!**

"...oooh." Izaya lifted his head dazedly from his place in the wreckage and stared at Shizuo. "...was that a yes to the dress part, Shizu-chan?"

"THAT'S IT! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!" The blond raged, tearing a streetlight out of the ground with minimal effort and charging at Izaya. "DAMN YOU FLEA-"

"Oh, oh, Shizu-chan..." The flea chuckled affectionately before hurriedly getting to his feet and running. "That's no way to accept such a proposal! You're supposed to blush and whisper 'yes' reluctantly-"

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, IZAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

_CRASH!_

_BANG!_

_SMASH!_

"IZAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"I'm right here, Shizu-chan, don't you worry-"

"GO TO HELL, YOU FLEA!"

Eventually, Shizuo ended up chasing Izaya (who was laughing his ass off) all over until the two became little stick figures because they were so far away.

Meanwhile, the two school girls were staring after them in complete shock.

"..."

Slowly, they turned to gaze at each other in horror.

"...did you just see..."

"What I think we just saw?" The other finished. "...I think we did. Either that or someone's drugged our lunch."

"..."

"..."

"HOLY CRAP! THE WORLD'S ENDING! THE WORLD'S ENDING!"

"SOMEONE GET ME MY PSP NOW! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

* * *

_WAYS TO GET IZAYA TO STOP LIKING ME:_

_4. Avoid conversation with me at all costs!_

_**FAILED FAILED FAILED FAILED FAILED FAILED FAILED FAILED FAILED FAILED-**_

_RIP! _

That poor, poor, paper...

* * *

**Next time on WCIJBS?...**

**Shizuo continues to try (and ultimately fail) to get Izaya to lose interest in him, going to great (if not extreme) lengths! But what will happen when one night, Izaya finds him drunk... and totally helpless?**

**

* * *

**

**Now what the hell was that just about? XD I have no idea... anyway... how many of you guys think this rating should go up, if you know what I mean, ehehe...**

**Review? It'll make me feel so happy... ^o^**


	4. What?

**A/N: Hello again! ^^ Wow, so many reviews! Thank you so much... uh.. and sorry for the lameness of this chapter... and... Izaya's appalling OOCness... GAAAAAAAAAAH I'M SO SORRY! T T **

**Er... yeah... so, um, since someone asked, I just want you all to know that Izaya... is the seme, I guess. I'm not saying that I don't like uke!Izaya, it's just that... I don't know, I just think that being a uke gives Shizuo a secret awesome power! =D **

**...okay, I guess that's all then... And I apologize for all the mistakes in this chapter... and the last one...**

**

* * *

**

Shizuo hated taping things. Even since childhood, it was usually a reminder of what he always did. He broke things. Stepped on them. Ripped them. Destroyed them.

But, like any normal person, surprisingly, Shizuo also hated the way how the tape just stuck to his fingers and wouldn't come off, or that the paper (the object which he was currently taping) would suddenly slid a little bit and so when he would tape it, it would be over lapping on one end and gaping on the other end, and that just made Shizuo feel lame. Not to mention that tape was hard to take off once he put it on... maybe... because it was tape? Duh.

"Stupid thing..." The blond muttered to himself, letting the now repaired paper to fall to the table and took up his pencil once more. "..."

_WAYS TO GET IZAYA TO STOP LIKING ME:_

_5. KILL THE FUCKER!_

Yes, he was aware that that probably wouldn't happen with his past luck, but putting that down on the list made Shizuo feel better either way. After writing that down, Shizuo actually started thinking. What else could make Izaya possibly lose interest in him?

"..."

_6. Introduce him to other people so he'll fall for them instead._

"..." Still staring at the paper, Shizuo slowly reached into his pocket for his cell phone. A few rings later, an emotionless voice answered. "Yes?"

"Kasuka? It's me. Hi. Um... sorry to trouble you, but I need a little favor..."

* * *

OF COURSE Shizuo wasn't planning on trying to get the flea to fall in love with Kasuka instead, Shizuo was actually CARED about his brother's well being and saneness!

...but... the people his little brother worked with was a different story... if he could at least get Izaya off of his back...

To say the least, Celty was nervous. _Shizuo,__ I__ don't__ think__ leaving Izaya in a building of good looking people would make him stop liking you__-_

"It's worth a try, isn't it?" Shizuo grumbled, crushing another cigarette. "Besides..."

_How did your brother react when you told him this__? _

"He... was pretty cool about it. I mean, I think they needed to go back to Tokyo anyway, so..." Shizuo suddenly stiffened.

"SHIZU-CHAN~!" Izaya called happily from a top of some random building. "GOOD MORNING!"

"..." Shizuo cursed silently before yelling back out to his stalker. "FLEA, GET THE HELL DOWN FROM THERE!" Just wait for it... wait for it...

"Ah, don't worry, I was going to either way!" Izaya landed with a slight "oomph", his fur coat still pulled around him. "So, Shizu-chan, have you thought my proposal over-"

NOW! Shizuo hastily grabbed Izaya by the shoulder and threw him into a nearby building.

"Shizu-chan, wha-"

"HAVE A NICE LIFE, FLEA!" The bodyguard yelled before slamming the door and bolting it shut. Why a person could lock the building from the outside, no one knew. "THERE! IT'S FINALLY DONE!"

_Uh__, __Shizuo- _Celty waved her phone in front of him.

"Huh?"

_You might want to look to your left..._

"...my left?" Puzzled, Shizuo turned in the said direction to see...

"What exactly is done, Shizu-chan?" Izaya inquired politely, his hands in his pockets.

"..."

"..."

"FLEA?"

"Yes?"

"..."

"..."

_GONG!_

"G-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Shizuo jerked back and pointed a finger at Izaya in horror. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? I JUST LOCKED YOU INTO A BUILDING OF GOOD LOOKING GUYS A LOT MORE HANDSOME THAN ME-"

Izaya scoffed scornfully. "Tch, those humans? They are nothing compared to my Shizu-chan... oh, did you really think me that unfaithful, Shizu-chan? Awww... how you break my heart-"

Shizuo groaned. "FUCK... JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, FLEA, GOD DAMN IT!"

"Shizu-chan, you seem to be really stressed..." Izaya whispered seductively, reaching out and caressing the blond's face. "You should let me... _fix_ that..."

"N-NOOOOOOOO!" Blushing, Shizuo slapped the hand away. "Y-you sicko... don't you fucking touch me-"

Izaya pouted. "But I want to..." He whined, reaching for Shizuo again.

"NO! YOU PERVERTED-"

Meanwhile, Celty decided to leave the scene since... well... she really didn't want to get injured. Sure, she couldn't be killed, but at the same time, better safe than sorry, right?

"REALLY, FLEA, YOU MUST HAVE LIKED AT LEAST _SOME_ OF THOSE GUYS-"

The black-haired man sighed. "Shizu-chan, like I said, none can match your adorableness!"

"WHA..." Shizuo choked in mortification. "DID YOU JUST CALL ME ADORABLE?"

Izaya winked. "How about beautiful, then, baby?"

"...! FLEA!"

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

Celty was very wise in her decision to leave...

* * *

_WAYS TO GET IZAYA TO STOP LIKING ME:_

_6. Introduce to other people so he'll fall for them instead._

**_FAILED!_**

_7. Introduce him to a whole bunch of people who look and act exactly like me so he'll be satisfied with one of them instead._

_

* * *

_

"...I've lost my mind." Shizuo groaned.

"Yeah, I think you have..." Kadota agreed dubiously. "So... you had your brother hire a bunch of people to dress up and act as you?"

"...pretty much."

"Well," Kadota rubbed his capped head awkwardly. "I have to say that they did do a good job..."

"..."

In front of them were bunch of Shizuo-doppelgangers, all around the same height and age of the original, wearing bartender suits with the same blue sunglasses.

"Amazing!" Walter and Erika cheered from the van. "IT'S THE KAGE BUSHIN NO JUTSU!"

"...or maybe they're all made up of water instead?" Walter pondered.

"I wonder if they're all unnatural blondes like Shizu-Shizu..."

Shizuo's eye twitched. "What did that girl just say-"

"Uh-" Kadota sweat-dropped. "Shizuo, ignore them, will you?"

Meanwhlie, Togusa drooped his head down, looking very depressed. "Wh-why... all these good-looking actors are here... but none of them are the GODDESS..."

"That's because she's a singer, right?"

"O-okay..." Shizuo called out awkwardly to the crowd. "As soon as you see a guy wearing a fur coat, I want you all to start screaming and running as fast as you can into different directions, got it?"

"... sounds easy enough..." One of the Shizuo clones muttered.

"Great. All right then."

"...Say, Shizuo?" Kadota spoke up. "How many... er, clones, do you have, Shizuo?"

"I don't kn-"

"OOH!" Walter suddenly yelled, pointing ahead of them. "THERE'S THE GUY IN THE FUR COAT!"

"WHAT?" Shizuo demanded, looking all around. But he didn't smell Izaya yet! How-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!" On cue, all the Shizuo clones began running around in circles and yelling their heads off.

"..." Shizuo scratched his head, bewildered. Did he really look like that when he was running? "...hang on, where is the flea?"

Walter and Erika both grinned sheepishly. "Just joking! We just wanted to see what we happened if we yelled that!"

"WHAAAAAAAAT?" Before Shizuo could begin his raging, however, a now very familiar scent caught his nostrils. "GAH! HE'S HERE!"

All the Shizuo clones stopped running. "Huh? Who?"

"THE GUY IN THE FUR COAT!" Karisawa and Walter shouted in unison.

"...wait, are you two telling us that we were running around in circles for nothing?"

"..."

"Shizuo, I don't see him anywhere-" Kadota started, but the blond held out an arm dramatically. "No, Kyohei, IZAYA IS HERE... HE'S COMING... I CAN SENSE IT..."

"...Sense it?" Erika and Walter turned to each other. "...does that mean Iza-Iza is supposed to be Shizu-Shizu's soul mate?"

"Could be..."

Thankfully, Shizuo didn't hear them, thanks to his clones.

"WAIT A MINUTE HERE!" All the actors cried at Shizuo. "YOUR STALKER IS ORIHARA IZAYA?"

"WHAT ABOUT IT?" Shizuo snapped back, flames starting to come from behind his body. Kadota took a discreet step back.

"BUT HE'S SO HOT! WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT HIM?"

The real Shizuo gaped at his doppelgangers incredulously. "AREN'T YOU ALL GUYS?"

"YES, BUT YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S GAY!"

"JUST DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO, GODDAMN IT!"

"Ooh, what's this?" Erika cried eagerly. "SELF CONFLICT!"

"Fine, fine... we give." The clones all said resignedly.

"GOOD! NOW IZAYA'S GOING TO BE RIGHT..." Shizuo pointed at a random spot. "THERE!"

"Uh, Shizuo..." Kadota said from his van. "Are you sure that he'll be there-"

"HE WILL, KYOHEI! JUST WATCH..."

And so, Shizuo, his clones, Kadota, Karisawa, and Walter all stared at the spot intensely.

"..."

"..."

"..."

And of course, Izaya appeared right on the spot. "Hello, Shizu-cha... WHAT?"

"HE APPEARED!" Erika and Walter shrieked dramatically. "THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!"

"AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHH!" Once more, all the Shizuo clones began running in circles and screaming their heads off, Shizuo himself hastily joining in.

"IT'S THE FLEA! RUN!"

"..."

"..."

"...I don't suppose you'll tell me what's going on, Dotachin?" Izaya asked hopefully.

"Gah..." The former Blue Squares member glared at the informant. "I thought I told you to stop calling me that!"

Ignoring Kadota's response, Izaya turned instead to all of the blonds scurrying around. "Hm... if you're here, that means the real Shizu-chan is also in that crowd... oh Shizu-chan~! Come out, come out, wherever you are! Wow... He really did make an effort to conceal himself..." He pondered, slipping his hands into the pockets of his coat. "What to do, what to do..."

"OH! IZA-IZA!" Erika shouted cheerfully, loud enough to be heard over the din. "YOU SHOULD TRY SQUEEZING THEIR BUTTS TO FIND THE REAL SHIZU-SHIZU! NO TWO UKES MAKE THE SAME EXACT SOUNDS, RIGHT?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

Izaya immediately grinned pervertedly. "EHEHEHEHEHE... sounds good to me..." He ran at the crowd of Shizuo clones.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" All the Shizuo clones yelled in horror."GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Y-YOU IDIOTS!" Kadota managed to finally yell. "We're supposed to be helping Shizuo, not him!"

"But Dotachin, this is for the sake of the sacred BOY'S LOVE!"

"...you have got to be kidding me.."

While this was going on, all the Shizuo clones were running away. Hey, Izaya might be hot, but that grin there was just creepy...

To the ultimate horror of the real Shizuo, Izaya suddenly gripped his arm. "And I'll try this one first~!" With that, the black-haired man grabbed Shizuo's ass with his other hand.

"N-NGH-" Shizuo's face turned bright red. "FLEA-"

Chuckling, Izaya kissed his blushing cheek. "Mwah! Found you, Shizu-chan..."

"N-no!" Shizuo protested frantically in vain. "I-I'm not the real Hewajima Shizuo! His brother just made m- AAAH!" His knees suddenly buckled as Izaya squeezed his butt once more. AGAIN... why did Shizuo always have to be so weak with this man, of all people!

"Tsk, tsk, Shizu-chan, it's not a good thing to lie."

"Wha..." Shizuo finally gave up, tearing himself out of Izaya's grasp. "Fuck you, flea! So you would have grabbed every other guy's butt until you thought that one sounded like me?"

"Ehehe..." Izaya smirked. "Not really. I knew that you were the real one from the start. I just wanted another excuse to grab your ass."

"...WH-WHAAAAAAT? HOW?"

"I think we should go." Kadota said hastily. "Come on, Togusa! Snap out of it!"

"...g-godess.."

"But Dotachin~! This is the good part!"

"WE'RE LEAVING!"

Izaya tapped a finger against Shizuo's forehead. "Lover's intuition, Shizu-chan!"

"TH-THAT'S BULL!"

"Well, that, and your cute butt." Izaya added, reaching around Shizuo's butt a pinch.

"..IZAAAAAAAAAAYYAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

**

* * *

**

_WAYS TO GET IZAYA TO STOP LIKING ME: _

_7. __Introduce him to a whole bunch of people who look and act exactly like me so he'll be satisfied with one of them instead._

**___FAILED!_**

_8. _

"..." Shizuo quickly dialed a number on his cell.

"H-hello?"

"Oh, Shinra, good, you're still alive..."

"...yes, I survived. I'm still throwing up every few hours or so, for your information, Shizuo-kun..."

"You deserved it for setting me up with the flea! ...listen, I need to know what Izaya really, REALLY can't stand... like, can't stand looking at!"

"Ugh... well... he really doesn't like the color pink, if it helps..."

"...Pink?"

"Yes, pink..."

"..."

"...Shizuo-kun? Are you still there?"

"..."

"...Shizuo-kun... please don't tell me you're not going to do what I think you're going to do... you should just go out with Izaya already-"

_CLICK!_

"..."

_8. Wear pink to scare him away._

* * *

"I've definitely lost my mind... I've gone batshit insane... I don't have an ounce of my sanity left... I've gone absolutely bonkers..." Was all Shizuo could mutter to himself as he pulled on the frilly PINK bunny costume. ...did he mention that it was pink? ...like... frilly pink? And... it was definitely not fluffy or anything... but... it was the only pink thing that Celty could find for him... yes, Celty, like the good friend she was, actually went shopping for him.

And Shizuo was now actually considering that going out with Izaya wasn't such a bad idea anymore... wait, WHAT? NO! NOTHING COULD BE WORST THAN GOING OUT WITH THAT... FLEA... NOTH... ING... Shizuo glanced at his reflection in the refrigerator. "...I cannot go out into public like this..." He groaned, ready to slam his head against the counter again.

Luckily, or unluckily, depending on the pros and cons of the situation, Shizuo heard knocking on his door. "SHIZU-CHAN~! It's me!"

"...Oh shit..." Was all the poor blond could get out before Izaya opened the door and let himself in. "Shiz-..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Where were those flying meteors when you needed them?

"...Shizu-chan..." Izaya said slowly, one of his own red eyes actually twitching. "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to lie. You really look horrible in that..."

For one totally humiliated yet elated second, Shizuo thought it actually worked. For just one second...

"...which... GIVES ME THE RIGHT TO STRIP YOU OF ALL YOUR CLOTHES!" And then Izaya was suddenly on Shizuo, hands eagerly tugging the bunny suit off to expose the blond's bare chest and also...

"YE-YEEEEEEEK!" Shizuo screamed in a rather unmanly way before desperately shoving Izaya off. "GAH! RAPE!"

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm saving you, Shizu-chan!" Izaya yelled back, practically ripping the bunny suit away to leave poor Shizuo in only his underwear.

"A-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The blond blushed furiously and tried to cover his exposed chest and legs in vain.

"...Oh... god..." Izaya drank in the sight, dropping the bunny suit as blood began to seep out of his nose once more. "...m-maybe I should take off your underwear, too, Shizu-chan-"

"M-MOLESTER!" The harassed bodyguard managed to yell out as he ran out of the room... and also out of his apartment.

"That's wrong, Shizu-chan! I AM NOT JUST ANY MOLESTER! I AM YOUR MOLESTER! AND I NEED TO GET THAT UNDERWEAR OFF OF YOU NOW!" Izaya added, racing after Shizuo.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH JUST GO AND DIE, FLEA!"

* * *

_Article of the day..._

_STRONGEST MAN IN IKEBUKURO SEXUALLY ASSAULTED BY INFORMANT? _

_Yesterday, around 9:45 am, the well-known havoc wreaker of Ikebukuro, Heiwajima Shizuo, debt collector bodyguard, was seen running clad in only his boxers while being pursued by the mysterious informant, Orihara Izaya, who recent moved to Ikebukuro from Shinjuku. According to witnesses, Orihara seemed to have impure intentions, shouting desire to remove the article of clothing from Heiwajima-san's body. Could Heiwajima-san be suffering from sexual harassment? If so, does that make him human, since, apparently, Orihara is still alive and well. Or, is Heiwajima-san playing hard to get in a twisted love story? Only the fangirls know..._

_

* * *

_

_WAYS TO GET IZAYA TO STOP LIKING ME:_

_8. Wear pink to scare him away._

**_FAILED! FAILED! FAILED! FAILED! FAILED! FAILED! FAILED-_**

_RIP!_

"Aw, shit..." Shizuo swore. "Not again..." He sighed and rubbed at his forehead. "This is going to kill me..." What he really needed right now was a nice walk outside without ever seeing Izaya. AT ALL...

"..."

"...maybe I'll risk it..." The blond finally muttered, grabbing his vest and pulling it on.

Ten miraculous, Izaya-free minutes later, Shizuo found himself in a bar. Not the safest and most peaceful place to be at night, but everyone recognized the bartender suit and blond hair immediately, and left him alone.

"S-so, what'll it be?" A real bartender asked him hesitantly, clutching a glass so hard in anxiety that small cracks were starting to appear.

Shizuo groaned and put a hand to his forehead. "Just get me some water."

"Y-yes! Got it!" The poor man (who looked more like a teenager) hurried away. As soon as he was out of site, however, he was suddenly knocked out by a sledge hammer.

_BANG!_

Shizuo was too busy dwelling in his misery to notice that the bartender who came back had closed eyes and brown hair. "U-uh, here you go!" Walter said in a poorly disguised voice, dropping the glass on the counter and running away.

"...oh..." Shizuo quickly lifted his head up and grabbed the glass and downed it in one gulp. Not exactly the smartest move...

"BLECH!" It was only after he had drained it did the blond realize that what he had just drank... was definitely not water...

"...FUCK!"

The main reason why Shizuo DIDN'T ask for sake or for some other type of booze? Because as he found out the hard way from the past, he most definitely could NOT hold his liquor...

* * *

"I see..." Izaya replied, holding his cell phone to his ear. "Well, in that case, thank you very much! I hope to continue to do good business with you." He clicked the device shut. A second later, it rang.

"Hello?"

"IzaIza! It's me!"

"Karisawa? Aw, to what do I owe this pleasure to?" Izaya heard a giggle on the other line. "Just come to the bar five blocks away from Russian Sushi! We have a present waiting there for you!"

"Present?

"YES!" Walter shouted into the phone. "It has blond hair... and blue sunglasses... and it's a human, too!"

"..." Red eyes widened. That could only be... A wide grin appeared on the pale face. "Thank you very much!"

_CLICK!_

"YAY!" Erika cheered as soon as they heard Izaya hang up. "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!"

* * *

At the same time, Shizuo was now sitting on the edge of the sidewalk outside the bar. The casual observer would see that the bodyguard was simply resting. However, the truth was that Shizuo couldn't even stand up from where he was sitting.

"...shit..." Alcohol always made him dizzy to the point where he had to sit down. Even now, Shizuo had to fight a wave of nausea. There was no way he could walk home like this...

Groaning again, Shizuo reached in his pocket for his cell phone, grateful he had at least brought it along. Maybe he could phone Celty or Shinra or SOMEONE to bring him home-

"Shizu-chan?"

...Oh no. OH FUCK NO. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK-

Izaya hopped over to him happily. "Oh my, what a coincidence! Fancy that I'd find you her-... are you okay?" Izaya asked slowly, looking closely at Shizuo's face.

The blond gritted his teeth. "Why the fuck would you care, flea?" Thank god his voice wasn't slurring yet...

"How hurtful, Shizu-chan!" The black-haired man pouted, putting his hand over Shizuo's. "Of course I would care about your well-being-"

"GET OFF OF ME!" Before he could stop himself, Shizuo slapped the hand away. Unfortunately, the sudden move was too much for his intoxicated brain. "AAAAGH!" The blond cringed and clutched his head.

"Shizu-chan?" Was that actual concern he heard in Izaya's voice? ...no, it must be the alcohol... Shizuo drooped his head with a sigh.

"Shizu-chan? OI!" Izaya quickly grabbed Shizuo's shoulders and looked him in the eyes. "Are you okay?"

"..." Shizuo just stared at him blankly.

"..."

"..." It didn't take long for the informant to grasp the situation. With a chuckle, Izaya hooked a finger under Shizuo's chin and lifted it to meet his face. "Shizu-chan... you're not a little... _drunk_... are you?"

"Nnngh..." Shizuo's befuddled mind lost all reason. "Fl-flea, don't..."

"Don't what?" Izaya sniggered, caressing Shizuo's cheek once more as his other hand sneaked around the bartender shirt, rubbing into the skin.

"Agh..." The blond started to squirm, much to Izaya's delight. "S-stop it! You're... making my heart go too fast..."

"Oh?" Izaya drew Shizuo's face closer to his. "I make your heart pound, Shizu-chan?"

"Y-yeah..." Shizuo muttered. "Your eyes... make me feel nervous... all the time... when you look at me like that..."

Izaya grabbed Shizuo's hand and kissed the palm again, earning a blush from the blond. "Did you like that, Shizu-chan?"

"U-uh..."

With a smirk, the informant kissed his wrist. "What about that?" He drawled lazily, brushing his mouth for the skin again.

"Mmm-mmm..." Shizuo squeezed his eyes tight and turned his head around. Izaya simply turned his head back. "Now, now, Shizu-chan..." He whispered over Shizuo's ear. "There's no need to be shy with me..."

"I-Izaya..." The blond almost whined softly. "I... I feel sick..."

"Then let me make you feel better..." Izaya cooed seductively, one of his hands now sneaking under Shizuo's shirt.

Shizuo gasped at the sensation of the cold hand rubbing his stomach, but still shook his head weakly. "N-no, Izaya... I really... feel... sick..."

"You'll feel better in a second..." The informant reassured, kissing along Shizuo's jawline.

"M-mm, n-no, Izaya.. s-stop!" Shizuo cried out. "P-please..."

Izaya pulled back, frowning, and surveyed the sight in front of him. Shizuo, his face red and sweaty as he panted helplessly, the teary brown eyes behind askew sunglasses looking up at him pleadingly. It was a beautiful sight, and Izaya wasn't going to let this prey escape him, for even as Shizuo protested, his body was pressed tightly against Izaya's of his own accord, and the hands were clutching at the fur coat.

Shizuo WANTED this. And Izaya wanted this from the moment he saw Shizuo on that park bench.

Yet... why was he feeling a tug in his chest, a tug that felt so much like... guilt? Guilt? That was a word that didn't exist in Orihara Izaya's vocabulary! ...but...

"Izaya?" Shizuo asked hesitantly, nervous that the informant had been silent for so long. "...Iz-AAH!" He yelped as he was pulled to his feet.

"Shh, not so loudly, Shizu-chan..." Izaya draped Shizuo's left arm over his shoulder as he wrapped his own right arm around the bodyguard's waist. "Come on, let's go..."

"W-wait! Where're you taking me?" Shizuo's loud voice was starting to attract some attention, and already, a few men were starting to approach them.

"Hmph!" Izaya suddenly flicked out his switchblade and growled, his red eyes glinting. "MINE..."

They were left alone.

"I-Izaya?" Shizuo began dazedly, half-expecting his butt to be grabbed. "Wh-where-"

"I'll take you home, okay?"

"Wh-what?"

"Shh, don't talk... " Was the only reply he got as Izaya started to support/drag him across the street.

Shizuo's eyes widened as his brain slowly took in that they were walking back to his house. "Iza-" He started, but his glasses fell down.

"Ah..." Izaya halted and let go of Shizuo's hand to lean down. "Here, Shizu-chan, stay still..." After a few clumsy seconds, the informant managed to stuff the lenses in Shizuo's breast pocket.

...Why? Why... was he treating Shizuo this way? Shouldn't... he already be taking advantage of Shizuo by now? ...what... was going on?

Not another word was said as Izaya opened the door and helped Shizuo in. It was only until Izaya practically carried Shizuo into the bathroom did a sudden wave of nausea hit the blond once more.

"BLEH-" He stumbled over to the toilet and immediately started to vomit. Goddamn it, why did people even drink alcohol... He felt like shit...

Shizuo had forgotten Izaya by the time he barfed. He assumed that the informant would just walk away. After all, it was disgusting, and Izaya had done enough for one night...

He didn't expect Izaya to stay. He didn't expect the hand that kept his hair out of his face. He didn't expect the other hand that rubbed soothingly at his back. He didn't expect... any of that...

Finally, after what felt like barfing up half of the food he consumed in his entire life, Shizuo stopped and leaned against the toilet bowl, panting heavily, and still feeling like total crap. Surely, now, Izaya would leave...

But he didn't. Only the hand left Shizuo's face, reaching out to tear off a wad of toilet paper to wipe gently at Shizuo's mouth, the hand at his back still rubbing gently.

"...I-" He started to say, but the said man was already helping him up. Moments later, he was lying Shizuo down gently on his bed. "Stay here, Shizu-chan..." The cold hand brushed over his forehead once more before leaving.

Only a few seconds afterward, Shizuo felt a cup of water touching his lips. "Here. Don't drink so fast..."

Shizuo gulped down and immediately felt better. "Aaah..."

"You want more?" Izaya asked him quietly. Shizuo hastily shook his head.

"All right then..." And suddenly, Izaya stood up, and Shizuo felt so small and weak and very, very undeserving...

"...Izaya..." His voice still sounded raspy and weak.

"Hm? What's wrong? Do you need-" Shizuo silenced him by grabbing onto the pale hands.

"...no... stay here, please?" It was so childish... but...

"..." There was another silence. After a minute, Shizuo bit his lip, thinking that Izaya was going to leave.

But defying his thoughts once more, Izaya crouched down and stroked the blond hair. "Okay."

"S-sorry..." Shizuo mumbled, feeling both grateful and guilty. "...you can come... into the bed if you want... um..." He blushed as he felt a light kiss on his forehead, Izaya continuing to stroke his hair. "It's okay... I'm fine..."

"..."

"...flea..."

"Yes?"

"...thank you..." Was all the blond could whisper before he blacked out once more.

* * *

**...you don't need to pretend. That moment absolutely sucked. )X I'm so sorry to disappoint all of you with Izaya's... behavior... but there's a reason for it! **

**Anyway... yeah. Go ahead and flame me if you didn't like it... but if you liked it... can you review? :D Yes, I am pathetic...**


	5. Trapped

**A/N: HITO RABU! ORE WA NINGEN GA SUKI DA! AISHITERU! DAKARA KOSO, NIN- WHOA WHAT? Oh crap, I'm listening to Love and Lovers, Izaya version! 0_0 **

**...THANK YOU PEOPLE SO MUCH! I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU FOUND THE CHAPTER CUTE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH YOU ALL ROCK! ^.^ ...0_0 EH? It sounds like there's a hundred Izaya's saying they love ahi belly and humans right now...XD**

**Ahahahaha, Erika is so awesome, thanks! ^^ ...I'm so sorry... Izaya's seme... and that's just how the story is... )X ..and what am I doing? Going into all the serious stuff just now... Ah, please forgive me! *bows***

**I LOVE ALL OF YOU PEOPLE! ...N-not...in the way... ...GAH, AND NOT IN IZAYA'S WAY, EITHER!**

**

* * *

**

Warm.

Warm.

It was warm.

That time... Izaya's chest... was so warm... so nice and warm. Like... like... Shizuo didn't know. It just made Shizuo want to lean his head into Izaya and just disappear-

...

...

...

WAIT. WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Was the first thing that burst out of Shizuo's mouth.

"...Oh, fuck..." Was the second thing.

You see, after drinking a certain amount of alcohol, some people are not able to recall what exactly happened the next day.

Shizuo, however, was not one of those people.

"Shit..." Shizuo swore again, struggling up in his bed, and finding himself alone. The flea... had actually... he... Shizuo...

Foolishly forgetting his still throbbing head, the blond lunged forward, only to stumble and promptly crash into a table.

_BANG!_

"O-ow..." Grabbing his forehead, Shizuo opened his eyes to see...

A paper? ...a note from Izaya? Shizuo blinked his wearily and slowly read:

_Shizu-chan... I'm sorry for all the pain in your butt. If you do not remember a thing that happened last night, it is all right. I understand... you were drunk. But don't worry, it will not be the last night of our passionate sex together, and next time, I will make sure to use proper lube for Shizu-chan's amazing butt, and to tone it down with the vibrator... _

_J__ust joking! You're still a virgin, Shizu-chan! ...maybe... kind of... almost? ;D_

"..."

"..."

Instead of snapping and throwing things around like he normally would have done in a similar situation, Shizuo simply stood with the note in his hand. Why? Because...

The blond gritted his teeth and let go of the note. Because... Shizuo knew Izaya _hadn't_ taken advantage of him that night.

No, he hadn't. Instead, the flea had helped Shizuo get home safely, tried to sooth him while he was barfing, he gave Shizuo water afterward... and then... he stayed when Shizuo wanted him too...

Shizuo face-palmed. Why the hell had he acted like that? What had possessed him to tell Izaya... OH. YEAH. HE WAS DRUNK. OF COURSE...

The blond groaned in frustration and moved to slam his head against the table once more until... he realized something was wrong with the table.

"...what the hell?" Shizuo muttered. This... this wasn't his table! A closer examination of the wooden furniture confirmed his suspicions. This wasn't his usual tool for brain cell destruction! The wood was too dark and had a slightly reddish color...

"FLEA-" The blond started to growl, but suddenly stopped. Wait a minute... hadn't he thrown the other table at Izaya before? But... that meant... Perplexed, Shizuo glanced down at the new table once more. ...Izaya... hadn't actually gotten him a new table, had he? Why on earth would the flea do that?

Shizuo picked up the note again hesitantly, a strange mixture of feelings swelling inside of him. Confusion? Guilt? Reluctant gratitude?

Trying to push the thought of Izaya aside once more, the former bartender laid the note back on the table, ready to sit down in an emo corner and sulk for the rest of the day. That was, until he had a very different feeling that he had forgotten something. Something to do with paper...

"..."

"..."

Shizuo blinked. Paper?

...OH GOD! HIS LIST! Izaya could have seen it anytime while Shizuo had been asleep! Panicking, the blond shot up and ran back to his bed, almost falling over himself in the process. But at the moment, he could care less.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! Where the fuck is it-" Shizuo broke off, realizing that it had been in his pocket the entire time. A frantic shove in his pants pocket washed away his worries, the list was still there, albeit a little crumpled from his roughness, but Shizuo doubted that Izaya would actually put it back after reading it... more like he would have shoved it Shizuo's face, knowing the flea...

Wait, knowing the flea? The blond promptly face-palmed again. Know Izaya? He had known Izaya for how long? ...a little more than a week or so? ...nine days? Ten? Either way, he hadn't known Izaya for more than two weeks, and already, he was one of the biggest problems in Shizuo's life... Yes, PROBLEM, even now, because Shizuo hated Izaya since the flea was a pervert and irritating and a flea and he TOOK SHIZUO'S NUMBER ONE REASON TO HATE HIM!

...so, in other words, Shizuo now hated Izaya because he could't really hate Izaya. He did not care if that made no sense! He hated thinking when he was still in a hangover-

A voice behind him interrupted his thoughts. "Alcohol is really not your friend, is it, Shizu-chan?"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Shizuo freaked and ended up stumbling down, shutting his eyes as he braced himself for the impact with the HARD, may he empathize, floor-

"Eh... then again, I can't imagine alcohol being anyone's friend..." Immediately, an jacket-clad arm encircled his waist, somehow managing to balance him. What happened next was red eyes and black bangs moving into his vision. "...Uh..."

Izaya grinned into Shizuo's dazed face. "Good morning~! Shizu-chan! How are you feeling?"

Shizuo stared at him stupidly. "...you picked up my sunglasses."

"..."

It was hard to tell with the hangover headache rearing its deformed head, but Shizuo swore the smile in front of him dimmed slightly. "Yes, I did. I thought you'd be a little upset if I just left them on the road back there, Shizu-chan."

"Shit..." The blond muttered, forcing his gaze down and away from Izaya. "Why the hell did they give me alcohol anyway? All I asked for was water..."

Fortunately, Shizuo didn't hear a sly comment in response until something cool nudged his hand. "Huh?" He looked up again.

Izaya pressed the glass harder against Shizuo's palm. "Here! Drink up, Shizu-chan."

"...what... is this?" Shizuo asked suspiciously, but his hand was already curling around the cup. Izaya simply winked at him.

"Just a little something that helps me whenever I'm in a hangover!"

"..." Was Izaya lying to him? In his condition, did Shizuo even care? ...not really. "...thanks..." Shizuo muttered before hesitantly sipping some of the liquid. To his surprise, he actually felt a little better.

There was another silence in which Shizuo kept drinking from the glass, consciously aware of Izaya supporting his back.

"U-um..."

"You okay?" Izaya asked him calmly, taking the cup away from the blond once he had finished.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine... uh... Izaya-"

"Mm?" Already, he felt the pale arms helping him up again. "You better rest again, Shizu-chan-"

"I'm fine!" The retort was harsher than Shizuo had meant it to be, but goosebumps were starting to rise from his skin as those arms slid around his body. "You... you can go already-" He started awkwardly, but Izaya simply held onto him firmer.

"I don't want to go."

"..."

Shizuo could already feel the red beginning to rise in his cheeks, the thumping of his heart. "...fl-flea..." Feeling pathetic, he tried to shrink into the wall, his knees coming up and pressing into his chest.

"Hm?" A pale hand had already sneaked onto his collarbone, sliding up and tilting his chin. Shizuo averted his gaze back to the ground. "...wh-why did.." he began to mumble.

"I help you?" Izaya finished cheerfully, the smirk once more in place. "Well, Shizu-chan, I wouldn't expect you'd want to go out with me if I didn't."

"...you mean, it would have given me another reason to not go out with you..." The blond muttered irritably.

"Exactly~!"

"Damn it all..." Shizuo groaned, closing his eyes. "Why can't I just be single?"

To his frustration, he felt lips pressing lightly at his cheek before pulling away. "Because I want to go out with you." Izaya answered bluntly, moving closer to the flustered Shizuo.

"B-but..." Butterflies began to flutter in Shizuo's brain, yes, BRAIN, as Izaya's other hand grasped his own and massaged it gently.

"But what?" Izaya cooed back, his breath puffing over Shizuo's mouth. Shizuo flushed deeply.

"B-but... it won't work out!" The blond spat, his eyes squeezed shut. "Look at us!"

He heard a soft chuckle. "You know what they say, Shizu-chan. You never know if you try..." Shizuo wanted to come up with another retort to that, he wanted to just scream and fling Izaya away from him, but Izaya's lips were in his hair, and his hand was stroking Shizuo's, and his other hand was under Shizuo's chin, and it was starting to feel warm again, and by now, Shizuo's brain did not exist. It was lying on the floor, all chopped up by Izaya's knife, and all the parts were trying to get as fast as away from each other as they could.

...Shizuo really, really needed milk right now. ...AND BY MILK, HE MEANT MILK THAT CAME FROM A COW!

"..."

"..."

"Shizu-chan..." Shizuo had been quiet for too long. Izaya was speaking again, his voice slightly muffled by the blond locks. "...Shizu-chan... we... could go out for a movie. We could even see one starring your brother."

No, no, no, no-

"...Or..." He felt Izaya kiss his head again. "...we could eat at Russian Sushi. Make Simon happy for once."

His eyes still shut, Shizuo tried to let out a weak laugh, but it ended up sounding like a groan again.

"...we could do whatever Shizu-chan would like. We could just stay at my place and watch a movie there. We could watch a movie here. We could watch a movie at Shinra's place. ...wait, did I just say that? Haah..."

Shizuo felt Izaya's jeans touching his own slacks.

"As long as it's a date, and you just go out with me for one time... if you really don't enjoy it, Shizu-chan, I'll leave you alone. I promise."

If Shizuo didn't enjoy it? If? Of course Shizuo would hate a date with Izaya! Just like he hated looking at Izaya! ...and being touched by Izaya... and hearing Izaya's voice... and... and...

"Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo gritted his teeth. "I should have just gone home that day..." The blond mumbled.

He felt Izaya's head shift. "What, Shizu-chan?"

"I should have just gone straight home that day!" Shizuo snapped, trying to shrink smaller, trying to not feel Izaya. "Th-then, I wouldn't have met you!"

"...yeah..." To his surprise, Izaya agreed. "...you... definitely wouldn't have met me..."

"...I'm trapped, aren't I?"

"Trapped?" It tickled when Izaya kept speaking against Shizuo's hair. It made Shizuo feel warm again... "...heh, I suppose you are trapped, Shizu-chan..."

Yeah. He was trapped. From the moment Izaya caught sight of him on the park bench, Heiwajima Shizuo was DOOMED. And there was no way out of it... Despite himself, Shizuo felt himself hanging his head and moaning softly. "Aaah..."

"...you okay?" Izaya asked, lifting up his head from Shizuo's. "...Oh, what kind of potential date am I being, Shizu-chan? Of course you aren't! You're still recovering from your hangover! I better carry you back to bed-"

"Wha?" To his horror, Shizuo felt Izaya... STARTING TO LIFT HIM UP BRIDAL STYLE? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO "FLEA! STOP IT! STOP IT NOW, OR I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL-" WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! HE WAS TALLER THAN IZAYA! HE WEIGHED MORE THAN IZAYA!

He heard an irritable sigh, and to his relief, the hands retreated. "Fine, fine..." Instead, they traveled back up and onto the shoulders of the bartender suit. Shizuo couldn't suppress a small shiver as he felt Izaya's breath by his ear as the man knelt down. "...go out with me?"

Shizuo's brown eyes widened at the tone of Izaya's voice. It wasn't demanding. It wasn't teasing... it was just almost... pleading? "U-um... I..."

Izaya's hold on him tightened.

"...I... I..."

"I'm sorry!" Izaya suddenly interrupted, standing up. "I better leave you already! I'll be back tomorrow-"

"I... EH?" Shizuo asked dimly, blinking as the warmth he felt disappeared. "What... Izaya-NO-" Without thinking, since he no longer had a brain, Shizuo reached up and seized Izaya's hand.

"..." Crap. What had he just... Shizuo gawked in mortification. Of his actions, or the whole situation, he wasn't quiet sure. Note to self: ALWAYS WATCH WHAT YOU DRINK, SHIZUO...

Meanwhile, in the present, it was already too late, Izaya had turned around, his expression mildly startled, and was gazing at Shizuo expectantly. "..."

"..."

"...I..." Shizuo squeezed his eyes shut again. "...um... listen... I... I need to think..." Think... what a vague word. "...J... just wait, okay? I'll... I'll... I... just need to get rid of this damn hangover!"

"..."

Another awkward silence reigned. After a few seconds, Shizuo was sure that he had screwed up and was about to let go of Izaya's hand, curl into a ball, and die, when-

"Okay. I understand." Izaya smiled at him and squeezed his hand, making Shizuo's heart speed up again. "I'll wait. I'll come back tomorrow, then-"

"No." Words started spilling out of Shizuo's mouth, nonsense words that weren't right. "It's okay. I'll find you again..."

He saw the red eyes open slightly in surprise, but they narrowed back normally. "...All right then, Shizu-chan. You... have my number, so..."

"...I do?"

Izaya suddenly winked again. "Of course! I put it in your phone for you..."

Shizuo stared at him before promptly smacking his face with his free hand. Of course Izaya would have done that!

The said black-haired man lifted Shizuo's hand and kissed it, immediately turning Shizuo's face beet red. "Fl-flea-" Izaya suddenly looked at Shizuo creepily with his bangs creating a shadow across his eyes. "...Three days, Shizu-chan!"

"...Huh?"

"I'll give you three days to come to me~!" The flea almost sang as he skipped to the door. "After that, I'll be there at your door! I would advice that you wouldn't procrastinate! Goodbye, Shizu-chan!"

And with that, the door closed behind Izaya and Shizuo was finally left alone in his house.

"..."

"..."

"...SHIT..." The blond grabbed at his head in frustration. He was so pathetic and weak! Even if he was in a hangover, he could have easily thrown Izaya out of his house again... Izaya, Izaya... maybe Shizuo needed to make another list. Oh well, for now, he was just thinking about it in his head.

Izaya was a pervert. The nosebleed and the groping squashed any challenges to that statement. ...but... he hadn't touched Shizuo's butt once that night... or right now, to think of it... there was only the gentle caresses and kisses-SHIZUO WAS GETTING OFF SUBJECT HERE.

Izaya was a stalker, and an obsessive stalker to add to that. Oh come on! He already knew Shizuo's house, habits, favorite things to drink, birthday, family, what he did in the past sixth months, etc, etc, in just one day. Shizuo was ready to kill the idiot who would insist that that was simply mere curiosity. ...besides Izaya, of course.

Izaya was annoying, and seemed to relish in the fact. Even now, he couldn't resist poking at Shizuo! ...but... did that mean... Shizuo really hated him?

Izaya was a flea. That was just plain fact. There was no more to be said.

Shizuo finally got off of his butt from the kitchen floor and walked back to his bedroom.

There was probably more to the list, but his head couldn't think of anything else at that point.

...but was Izaya... a really bad person?

...and more importantly... was Izaya... someone that Shizuo didn't like?

...WHAT? Blushing furiously, Shizuo clapped a hand to his mouth. Did he actually think that? ...No. He needed to sleep right now. Who cared if it was ten in the morning? Heiwajima Shizuo had a hangover to get rid of!

Shizuo slipped shakily back onto his bed. He... would simply not think of Izaya! It was easy as that! He would NOT, he would just... just... Shizuo gave up. Fine... That time... before... when Shizuo was still drunk... Izaya with his smirk as he kissed Shizuo's hand... that sensation when he rubbed Shizuo's stomach... the kisses on his face... and-

Cursing, Shizuo felt his body tightening in excitement at the memory. NO... That was dangerous territory right there... If he had to think about Izaya... he... he should think about...

..._"I'll wait." _

Would Izaya really wait? Shizuo blinked. From what little he knew of Izaya, the flea wasn't one to be trusted, so... why did he feel like Izaya was speaking the truth? Did Shizuo actually want him to wait? And... he was like a girl, grabbing onto Izaya and telling him to hang on... GAH. The blond pulled the cover up to his forehead. Just SLEEP ALREADY, SHIZUO!

It took a good hour or two before the blond actually did fall asleep, his dreams filled with red eyes and laughter and tangled bed sheets.

* * *

**...wow, this turned out crappy. My bad. XD I just got my third phone in two months. I would like to say that they were stepped on by Izaya, but unfortunately, both were forgotten in my pants and suffered the wrath of the washer. Yes, the washer is not my friend. )X**

**Thanks so much for reading... if you liked it, review so I'll feel guilty and update as soon as I can. XD **


	6. Trapped as well?

**A/N: Awwww... thank you so much for all the reviews! You make me caramell dance and hug my totoro in joy! ^0^ ****...And... sorry to disappoint you all, but most of this chapter is chapter 5 from Izaya's point of view. ...I don't think I did a very good job, since Izaya is so OOC but I kept thinking about him IC so... yeah... )X ****Anyway... I'm so glad that you guys found the last chapter cute! ^.^ Thank you so much again for giving this story support!**

**hpalabay: Thank you! X) I liked that part too... hehe...**

**Sarah32138: Oh, thanks! ...and yeah, those three days for Izaya will go by too long... and for Shizuo, they'll go too fast! XD**

**Kipsi: KYAAAA! SANKYUU~! **

**Dreaming Rain: XD Yeah, Tsundere Shizuo... you know, everyone saying how tsundere Shizuo is reminds me of this video on Youtube where Shizuo is "singing" the tsundere's song... haha! ...and don't worry, writing on fanfiction gives me my reason in life too! ^^**

**Uccan: It is? Wow, thanks! X) Lol, that face...**

**Aihara-Yuki: Ahahahaha... I'm sorry... but... Shizuo is the uke... and... well... he can have his seme moments, but... yeah. 0 _ 0" This is my first time writing yaoi, so I really don't know yet... = =**

**NeutronStarsCollide: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! 0_- I SURRENDER TO THE POKING! XDDDDDDD**

**I Like To Stalk You: Really? Thanks! ^^ I felt kinda bad about myself since I felt I could have made drunk Shizuo a lot more funnier, though... = = **

**What A Lovely Disaster: ...Er... thanks... I don't have to feel guilty now, right? :D**

**Ginger Blackmore: XD Yes, yes, he is... and as for your questions... well... the third one happens... XDDDDD**

**Annniel: AWWWWWWWWWW THANK YOU SO MUCH... T . Y" GAAAAAH! I'll do my best! ^0^ ...oh, ps, I really like your story too! Pfft, Shizuo could cause a WWIII all by himself though, I bet. XDDDDDDDDD**

**My Reality Is My Own: Uh... thanks you! Here it is! ^^**

**Queliet Kuro Shiroyama: XD Thank you, Shiroyama-san! ...oh, and about the Izuo thing... well... to be completely honest, I just find it hilarious with Shizuo as the uke. X) That's all...**

**Allen Nara: XD Yay... spared from the guilty look! ...and yes, those poor, poor, phones... = = Recently, wouldn't you know it, I almost thought the third one met the same fate. It didn't, of course. XDDDDDDDD**

**0mohni0: Ahahaha... Thank you! X)**

**Imafreakofsocietylivewithit: Ano... Arigatou na! ...don't worry, it won't stop... ^^**

**To Everyone: Thanks for reviewing! ^^ Raikun worships you! =)**

**To Everyone who actually read this or who went back and read this after reading the chapter: ...Raikun worships you to the end of time. XD**

**

* * *

**

"_I-Izaya…" Shizuo almost whined softly. "I…I feel sick…"_

"_Then let me make you feel better…" Izaya cooed seductively, one of his hands sneaking under the former bartender's shirt. He rubbed at Shizuo's stomach gently, watching with delight as the former bartender gasped at the sensation. The man pressed his hand harder against the smooth skin._

_Shizuo shook his head weakly. "N-no, Izaya… I really… feel… sick…"_

"_You'll feel better in a second…" The informant reassured, leaning forward to kiss along Shizuo's jaw line._

"_M-mm, n-no, Izaya… s-stop!" The blond cried out, his hands clutching the fur coat helplessly. "P-please…" _

_Izaya ignored him, instead, lifting his head up and smashing his lips to Shizuo's in a harsh kiss._

"_Mmf! Iz… Mmm! A-aah…" Shizuo was making the just most __**delicious**__ noises while Izaya greedily explored his mouth, his hands scrambling to strip his prey of his shirt-_

Red eyes blinked opened wearily. "…the hell?" Izaya muttered, slowly getting up from his crooked position on the floor, immediately feeling painful cramps in his back and legs. Where... was he? And where in the world was his precious Shizu-cha… Oh. Yes.

Izaya finally stood up and stretched his back, feeling the various joints cracking a bit. Agh… yes… that felt so good.

It was only when he sat himself down before Shizuo's sleeping form did Izaya really start to berate himself.

What the hell had taken over him last night? He was supposed to have already fucked Shizuo into some random alley wall or floor and then leave him there. Izaya was supposed to already be in Ikebukuro, waiting for an angry Shizuo to find him and then seduce the blond once again.

Why the hell didn't he take advantage of Shizuo last night? Orihara Izaya most definitely would have. Any other time couldn't have been better. Shizuo was drunk, helpless, more vocal, more revealing, less-

As Izaya rested his head on his hand, his eyes drifted back to Shizuo, who was knocked out cold. "…"

Izaya had gone sane, and yes, he meant SANE. There was no question about it. Dreaming about Shizuo? Well, it was something he would tease the blond about, but actually having a…

…Maybe he should think about his most recent "uninsane" actions that night, and go backwards from there. Where to start…

First... staying when Shizuo wanted him too. Izaya sat up again and walked over to the chair where he had carelessly thrown off his coat before. Izaya usually ignored those sorts of pathetic whims, he wasn't some caring human. Even if he were to stay, Izaya should have at least thrown in some jeering comment about how much Shizuo "hated" him. …Or, at least have taken up Shizuo's offer to get into the bed.

Izaya actually smacked himself slightly on the forehead for that one. All right, that one was really weird! Why hadn't he just gotten into the bed with Shizuo? It would have been a perfect opportunity to molest the blond… and to torture him, as well… So… why hadn't he at least done that?

Pulling on his coat, the informant remembered. Something about how cute Shizuo looked and the desire just to watch him from that angle…

Izaya had to resist the strong urge to hit himself again. He sounded like some stupid, love-struck boy…

Next, staying before that and helping… Shizuo throw up. "…" As fond as he was of humans, Izaya was not so fond of their vomit. Watching was fine, but actually helping Shizuo like that? He wasn't so sure…

Then… there was picking up Shizuo's sunglasses off the street. …Wait, that wasn't such a big deal. Never mind.

But Orihara Izaya never helped someone for the simple sake of helping someone. It was always to get something. On the other hand, perhaps Izaya had been trying to get something. Shizuo's gratitude? Confusion? Guilt?

Standing up again, Izaya turned around and gave the sleeping Shizuo one last look before walking out of the room. He needed to take a walk. He needed fresh air… and he also needed to go to Shinra's to get something for Shizuo.

* * *

…NOW WHERE THE HECK DID THE LAST THING COME FROM?

Izaya gritted his teeth as he stormed sullenly across the street, kicking an empty can on the sidewalk.

When he finally had a chance to reflect on his… recent behavior over the past week or so, the informant realized that he… had really been acting out of character. He had always been a little… eager to get information about people, but now that Izaya looked back… maybe his "eagerness" to gather as much as information as possible from Shizuo was a little too… extreme…

Izaya sighed, remembering the conversation that started the whole thing…

* * *

"_You want Celty to be the deliverer again, then?"_

"_Yes. That would be good…" Izaya replied, ready to shut his cell phone off._

"_A-ah, wait a minute, Izaya!"_

"_Hmm?"_

_"L-listen…" He heard Shinra pause on the other line. "…er… Izaya, do you have anything planned tomorrow?"_

"_Tomorrow?" The informant frowned. "Eh? That's a rather short notice, Shinra… why do you ask?"_

"…_Um… well… it's… I just have this old friend, from elementary school, and he's single-"_

"_You want me to go out with him?" Izaya interrupted skeptically, raising an eyebrow. The fact that the other was a male didn't matter to Izaya. Boy, girl, woman, man, they were all the same. But it was odd that Shinra suddenly wanted to set him up with someone… as if Izaya could form a REAL relationship…_

"_A-ah … he IS good-looking, you know…"_

"…"

"_By your standards?" Shinra offered._

"…"

"…_come on, Izaya, please? As a favor of an old friend?"_

_Izaya drummed his fingers on the phone contemplatively. He could turn Shinra down, but on the other hand, it was amusing to hear the doctor, who babbled about dissections without a hint of shame, sounding awkward for once…_

"_Fine, fine. Where tomorrow?"_

_

* * *

_

"…And you didn't do anything to him?" Shinra called dubiously as he poured a cup of whatever-was-in-that-mysterious-drink-that-Izaya-honestly-did-not-care-to-know.

"Why, of course not!" Izaya cried in mock shock, his eyes widening in fake innocence. "Do you really think of me as that bad of a guy, Shinra? I'm injured…"

A PDA was shoved roughly at his face. _"OI, you BETTER not have taken advantage of him, Izaya!"_

Izaya rolled his eyes happily. "Oh, Celty, honestly. Can you see me raping Shizuo?"

"…"

"…"

"…yes?" Shinra offered weakly. "Though, I must say, it is surprising that Shizuo would bottom-"

_SHINRA!_

"I'm stopping, I'm stopping!" The doctor cried hurriedly, narrowly avoiding another punch in the gut by a certain dullahan. "Still, now that I think about it, I actually can picture Izaya and Shizuo-kun… doing it…. Maybe you can get a sample for me, Iz-AAAGGHH! E-EGH… I'M SORRY, CELTY, I'M SORRY-"

Ignoring the commotion behind him, Izaya sighed again and leaned against a random table.

What was he doing? There was still a strong chance that Shizuo might not remember a thing from that night…

Putting more of his weight on the table out of pure laziness, Izaya glanced at the surface before freezing.

Wait… this table… The informant hastily straightened up and studied it carefully. It was almost like the table Shizuo had destroyed a week ago when trying to kill Izaya again…

True, the wood had a slightly reddish hue, along with a darker tint, but still… it was about the same size and shape as the former one…

Izaya gazed at the table, a thoughtful expression on his face. Hmm…

Sprawled on the floor, Shinra adjusted his glasses weakly. "I-Izaya?"

Celty lifted up her PDA questioningly. _"Izaya? Why are you staring at the table like that?_"

"…I'm taking this table!" Izaya said suddenly, familiar crazy glint in his red eyes.

"…"

"…Huh?"

?

"I'm taking it!" Izaya repeated, grinning wickedly as he cleared the table's surface carelessly with one hand, then hauling it up on his shoulders.

"Eh, the table- wait, WH-WHAT? WHY?" Shinra demanded incredulously, getting up and straightening his glasses properly.

"…Because it's a nice table."

"WHAT?"

"_You're not making any sense!"_

"I'll pay you back later." The black-haired man said calmly, starting to make his way out of the room, the table on his back.

"…_Izaya, are you all right?"_

Was he all right? The stupidity and irony of the question was enough to make Izaya laugh, which was precisely what he did. "AHAHA, AHAHA, AHAHA, AHAHAHAHAHA!"

"…"

"…"

Shinra and Celty couldn't exactly exchange worried/incredulous looks, but you could get the picture.

"Says the person who does not posess a head!" Izaya finished cheerfully before slamming the door behind him with his foot.

An awkward silence immediately followed.

"…"

"…"

The door in front of the couple suddenly swung open again.

"I-Izaya?"

"I'll be BACK for Shizu-chan's drink!" The informant declared wildly, then shutting the door behind him for the second time, also closing it with his foot.

And so, Izaya ran manically back to Shizuo's apartment, looking utterly ridiculous to random passerby with the table on his back. He then placed the table into the place where the other had been, then, as Shizuo was still asleep, scribbled a note for Shizuo.

_Good morning, Shizu-chan! Went to get something for your hangover headache. Will be back.  
__-Izaya_

"…"

"…" Izaya frowned, hastily tore the note up, stuffed the pieces in his mouth, swallowed, grabbed another paper, and began to write again.

_Shizu-chan… I'm sorry for all of the pain in your butt. If you do not remember a thing that happened last night, it is all right. I understand… you were drunk. But don't worry, it will not be the last night of our passionate sex together, and next time, I will make sure to use proper lube for Shizu-chan's amazing butt, and to tone it down with the vibrator…_

Only after a slight pause did Izaya add:

_Just joking! You're still a virgin, Shizu-chan! …maybe …kind of… almost? ;D_

Yes, that sounded much better. With that, Izaya ran all the way back to Shinra's house, an unexplainable, elated feeling blossoming in his chest.

* * *

Oh, and if you were curious, when Izaya ran back to fetch the drink for Shizuo, Shinra and Celty were still in the same places where they had been before, and remained that way for several hours. Shinra's mouth was partially open in shock, and Celty… well… we'll just leave that to your imagination.

* * *

However, the happy feeling soon died down as Izaya approached the apartment for the second time that morning, walking at his usual calm pace instead of the frantic jog earlier with the table.

The informant opened the door and soundlessly slipped inside. Shizuo... was awake. He was. Never question Orihara Izaya's mad sensor skills.

Sure enough, the blond was leaning against the kitchen wall, looking very much awake. Izaya gave a quiet tut as he surveyed the tired red-rimmed eyes and the stressed expression on Shizuo's face.

"Alcohol is really not your friend, is it, Shizu-chan?" Izaya called out, setting the glass on the same table he brought over that morning.

Shizuo's bleary eyes jerked open in shock before the bodyguard let out a surprised yelp, stumbling to the floor. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

Izaya had to hold back a snicker before reaching out with an arm. "Eh… then again, I can't imagine alcohol being anyone's friend…" He hastily hooked his arm around Shizuo's waist, righting the blond.

Shizuo had a sick, dazed look to him when he lifted his head and spotted Izaya. "…Uh…"

Hm… perhaps this meant that Shizuo didn't remember what happened last night? Izaya grinned widely at the object of his affections. "Good morning~! Shizu-chan! How are you feeling?"

The stunned silence that greeted this gave Izaya the small hope that Shizuo really didn't recall the past night's events, until…

"…you picked up my sunglasses."

"…" Oh. Dang. Never mind, then. The informant recovered himself and continued to grin, even thought the action was now forced. "Yes, I did. I thought you'd be a little upset if I just left them on the road back there, Shizu-chan."

"Shit…" The blond broke his eye contact with Izaya and gazed at the ground. "Why the hell did they give me alcohol anyway? All I asked for was water…"

"…" Fortunately for Erika and Walker, Izaya was actually grateful toward them and, therefore, did not say a word. Instead, he used his free arm to grab the hangover cure Shinra got him and nudged it against Shizuo's hand.

"Huh?" The now confused brown eyes flickered back to Izaya's face. Izaya pressed the glass harder against the blond's palm. "Here! Drink up, Shizu-chan!"

"…what… is this?" Shizuo asked with expected suspicion, despite the fact that his hand was already curling over the cup.

Oh, oh, Shizu-chan… Izaya winked at him. "Just a little something that helps me whenever I'm in a hangover!" He watched as Shizuo debated whether or not to take Izaya's word, but the blond's pounding headache should be enough to sway him. Not surprisingly, Shizuo gave in, starting to sip at the liquid with a muttered "Thanks…"

There was another silence, in which Shizuo kept drinking the hangover cure, apparently beginning to feel better as Izaya observed the blond, the hesitant way the lips would touch the liquid, the occasional appearances of the pink tongue, only a shade darker than the pale pink around Shizuo's cheeks, coming out to lap at the drink, not to mention how hot the blond's back was starting to feel against Izaya's hand-

"U-um…"

Izaya reached for the cup, feeling a little disappointed that Shizuo had finished it so quickly. "You okay?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine… Uh… Izaya-" Shizuo was looking a little sleepy now…

"Mm?" Izaya responded nonchalantly, already starting to help Shizuo up. "You better rest again, Shizu-chan…"

"I'm fine!" The former bartender repeated harshly, seeming to flinch from Izaya's touch. "…You… you can go already…" Shizuo added awkwardly, as if made sheepish by his earlier behavior.

Izaya ignored this and held onto Shizuo firmer. "I don't want to go." He said stubbornly.

"…"

Much to his amusement, Shizuo blushed. "Fl-flea…" The blond shrank against the wall, probably wanting to disappear into it, his knees coming up and pressing into his chest. Izaya just took that as an invitation to scoot closer, pretty much cornering him against the wall.

"Hm?" Izaya asked, placing his hand on Shizuo's collarbone and sliding it up to tilt his chin. The blond looked back down. "…wh-why did…"

"I help you?" Izaya finished before the blond could, smirking again. "Well, Shizu-chan, I wouldn't expect you'd want to go out with me if I didn't. " Not exactly the real truth, but Shizuo didn't have to know that.

Still avoiding Izaya's eyes, Shizuo frowned. "…you mean, it would have given me another reason not to go out with you…"

Hah… That actually wasn't what Izaya had in mind at the time. Nevertheless, the informant smiled. "Exactly~!"

Shizuo groaned in response. "Damn it all…" The brown eyes closed. "Why can't I just be single?"

Why can't Shizuo just be single? Izaya thought that that was the wrong question. Why can't I leave you alone suited the situation better, in the black-haired man's opinion. But if Shizuo was asking that…

Izaya moved forward and kissed Shizuo's cheek, leaving the blond flustered. "Because I want to go out with you." He answered in a blunt way, leaning closer to Shizuo, grasping Shizuo's hand with his own.

"B-but…" The blond stammered weakly as Izaya rubbed small circles into his palm once more.

"But what?" Izaya cooed back, feeling his own breath hitch as he drew nearer to Shizuo's mouth. He smiled in satisfaction when the blond blushed a deeper red.

Shizuo squeezed his eyes shut. "B-but… it won't work out! Look at us!"

"It won't work out"? Didn't Shizuo try that angle? Izaya let out a chuckle. "You know what they say, Shizu-chan. You never know if you try…" Now what was he doing, saying something as cliché as that? Izaya wanted to quickly contradict himself, he wanted to say something like "just kidding" and jump away from Shizuo, but his body was moving of its own accord, he was kissing Shizuo's hair, stroking Shizuo's hand, with his other hand still tilting the blond's chin, and he was getting that same ecstatic feeling whenever he was near Shizuo again. Izaya's brain had now turned into mushed up ootoro that was left out in the sun for far too long…

Speaking ootoro, perhaps Izaya should eat some of it right now… then perhaps he could get a grip on his surroundings… haha. Hah.

"…" When he only heard the sped-up breathing of Shizuo, Izaya finally spoke, his face still buried in the blond hair.

"…Shizu-chan… …Shizu-chan… we… could go out for a movie. We could even see one starring your brother."

Izaya felt the hand under his stiffen. Despite this, he continued. "…Or…" He paused to kiss Shizuo's head again, recalling his previous thoughts about ootoro. "…we could eat at Russian Sushi. Make Simon happy for once."

He heard Shizuo let out a weak laugh. It sounded more like a groan, though… "….we could do whatever Shizu-chan would like. We could just stay at my place and watch a movie there. We could watch a movie here. We could watch a movie at Shinra's place… wait, did I just say that? …Haah…" Izaya was suddenly grateful that he wasn't looking at the blond while saying this. He sounded like the same idiotic, love-struck boy babbling on about movies. Izaya felt Shizuo's slacks touch his jeans as he went on.

"As long as it's a date, and you just go out with me for one time… and if you really don't enjoy it, Shizu-chan, I'll leave you alone. I promise." …leave Shizuo alone? Who was Izaya kidding? Of COURSE he'd be able to leave Shizuo alone… just as he was able not to ogle at Shizuo… and touching Shizuo… and…

Feeling like an idiot, Izaya waited, but Shizuo still remained silent. "…Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo mumbled something too unintelligible for Izaya to hear. Frowning slightly, the informant shifted his head, nuzzling into the blond locks. "What, Shizu-chan?"

"I should have just gone straight home that day!" He heard Shizuo snap, sounding angry. "Th-then, I wouldn't have met you!"

…yes, that was true… if he hadn't expressed such interest for Shizuo, Shinra would have probably given up on trying to set them together… Izaya thought to himself, so he agreed. "…yeah… you… definitely wouldn't have met me…"

"…I'm trapped, aren't I?"

Izaya blinked. "Trapped?" He inquired, still speaking against Shizuo's hair. Oh, no, that was where Shizuo was wrong. However… "…heh, I suppose you are trapped, Shizu-chan…"

No. Izaya was the one truly trapped. From the moment Shizuo caught his eye on that park bench, Orihara Izaya was DOOMED. He just couldn't leave Shizuo alone. At the same time, he couldn't bring himself to go too far with him, either. It was infuriating. And there was no way out of it…

All of Izaya's thoughts soon vanished into concern when Shizuo suddenly hung his head and moaned softly. "Aah…"

"…you okay?" Izaya felt himself asking for the second time, lifting his head up from Shizuo's and immediately regretting the loss of the blond hair against his lips. "…oh, what kind of potential date am I being, Shizu-chan? Of course you aren't! You're still recovering from your hangover! I better carry you back to bed…" With that, Izaya wrapped his arms around Shizuo and started to lift him up bridal style, if it mattered-

"Wha?" He felt Shizuo freeze in panicked horror. "FLEA! STOP IT! STOP IT NOW, OR I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL-"

Izaya honestly didn't see what was wrong with the situation. Sure, Shizuo was a _little_ taller and heavier than Izaya, but he was such a uke, despite that…

He sighed irritably set Shizuo down. He felt the blond's muscles relax in relief, but freeze once again as Izaya slid his hands back to the shoulders of that bartender suit. The informant knelt down to speak into Shizuo's ear, not missing the small shiver that ran down the blond's spine as he did. "…go out with me?" Izaya asked resignedly, almost pleadingly.

Shizuo's body trembled a little beneath him. "U-um… I…. I… I…"

Izaya tightened his grip before hastily letting go. He needed to stop this stupid behavior of himself before he went too far. "I'm sorry!" He stood up quickly, not letting Shizuo see his face. "I better leave you already!" The informant hurriedly continued. "I'll be back tomorrow!" A hollow promise...

"I… EH? What… Izaya… NO-" Izaya forced himself to believe that there wasn't any desperation he heard in Shizuo's voice, and was about to run out of the apartment until…

He felt Shizuo's hand seize his.

"…"

"…" Huh? Izaya turned around to see Shizuo, looking a little surprised himself, but… determined? Maybe?

The informant gazed at Shizuo, if Izaya was already too humiliated, hopefully.

"…"

"…"

"…I…" The blond stared to say, but suddenly squeezed his eyes shut for the third time. "…um… listen… I… I… need to think…"

Izaya raised an eyebrow. Think?

"…J… just wait, okay?" Shizuo added hastily. "I'll… I'll… I… just need to get rid of this damn hangover!

"…" Izaya stared at Shizuo, then thought over the situation. …Wait? …well, what had Izaya been doing since he met Shizuo? …on the other hand, he supposed that his stupid feelings wouldn't let him rush Shizuo either… "Okay." Izaya smiled at Shizuo before giving his hand a squeeze. "I understand. I'll wait. I'll come back tomorrow, then-"

"No." The blond cut him off, his eyes suddenly opening and staring at Izaya. "It's okay. I'll find you again…"

Izaya's eyes widened a bit in surprise. Oh? Shizuo was going to approach him again, this time? …perhaps Izaya would be fine with that. "All right then, Shizu-chan! You… have my number, so…"

"…I do?" The blond asked quizzically, making Izaya silently curse himself for slipping. The black-haired man quickly winked at Shizuo. "Of course! I put it in your phone for you…" Not a lie… but how he would love to see the expression on Shizuo's face when he discovered just _who_ Izaya had listed himself as…

Meanwhile, the blond gawked at the flea, then abruptly wacked himself in the face with the hand Izaya wasn't holding.

Izaya took this opportunity to lift Shizuo's hand to his mouth and kiss the smooth skin, causing Shizuo's face to be burning in seconds. "Fl-flea-"

Izaya interrupted Shizuo this time, putting on his creepy face. "Three days, Shizu-chan!"

"…Huh?"

"I'll give you three days to come to me~!" Izaya practically sang as he skipped to the door. "After that, I'll be there at your door! I would advise that you wouldn't procrastinate! Goodbye, Shizu-chan!"

With that, Izaya closed the door behind him and hopped down the street, his cheery air quickly evaporating as he left Shizuo's house behind him.

…Three days? What had caused Izaya to be so generous? The man shoved his hands into the pocket of his fur coat grumpily. Those three "short" days were going to drag on as long as Namie's lectures…

Heiwajima Shizuo… what drew Izaya so closely to that man anyway?

...For starters...

Shizuo was HOT. Izaya couldn't think of a single human who wouldn't at least appreciate that fact… even though he'd cut off their hands if they DARED to touch his Shizu-chan…

Shizuo was easily provoked. It _was_ fun seeing those brown eyes darken in anger or annoyance or incredulity before the blond would let out a roar and charge. Even if Izaya did get beat up or hurt… he did enjoy it. ...what? Orihara Izaya could be a masochist if he wanted to…

Shizuo was just so fucking hot- Wait, he already said that. Oh well, who cares, he was.

Shizuo was… to put it nicely, not the brightest bulb in the box. Usually that trait annoyed Izaya, as it mostly resulted in nothing interesting happening, but, for some reason, he couldn't ever guess Shizuo's next action…

If that didn't make them destined to be together, Izaya didn't know what would.

And… most importantly… Shizuo liked him, too. That wasn't just obsessive thinking, Izaya KNEW that. Why else he would blush whenever Izaya would touch him or kiss him? The blond practically admitted to Izaya himself that being around Izaya made his heart pound.

…And… could Shizuo… be someone Izaya was serious about? Serious meaning… love?

WAIT, LOVE? The informant halted hastily, only to realize that he had made it back to his office.

…Ah. The red eyes blinked. That was right. He still needed to pay back Shinra for that table… oh, well, he would do it later.

* * *

"You weren't here yesterday." Was the first thing that greeted Izaya as he trudged in.

"Heh…" Izaya plopped himself down on his own couch, not bothering to even take off his fur coat. "Don't worry, Namie-san, I'll be sure not to dock it from your pay…"

To his annoyance, his secretary did not keep quiet.

"It was him, wasn't it? You were doing something with Heiwajima Shizuo-san…"

Izaya decided to block Namie's voice out and look up blankly at the ceiling instead. …love… he knew that he had said it to Namie-san… but he really hadn't meant anything at the time… he was just too dazed and a little awed at the sight of Shizuo's butt…

But now… Izaya's eyes widened in realization.

"Oi! Are you even listening to me?"

"Ne, Namie-san…" Izaya called out to the now indignant woman. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Namie blinked before immediately frowning. "You've got to be kidding me, right? Declarations such as that aren't true…"

Izaya sighed before leaning back and crossing his legs. "Yeah, I agree, I agree. How can a human truly love someone when they don't thoroughly know them… what about love after two weeks, then?"

"Love after two we… what in the world are you talking about?"

"I haven't even known Shizu-chan for two weeks…" Izaya mused to himself.

Cottoning on, Namie rolled her eyes. "Ah, don't tell me. You're already in 'true love' with him, aren't you?"

Izaya blinked again and crossed his arms. "…I love Shizu-chan." The words were said as if he were experimenting, which, in fact, he was.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…I… love Shizu-chan."

"You said that already."

The crimson eyes suddenly bugged out once more. "I… love Shizu-chan."

"Yes, yes, I get that." The brunette hissed irritably. "Why don't you just go and tell-"

"I LOVE SHIZU-CHAN!" Izaya suddenly yelled before bolting up and running out of the apartment.

_SLAM!_

"…"

"…"

"…"

Namie groaned to herself as she poured a cup of coffee. "I really need a vacation."

* * *

Shizuo blinked his eyes open blearily. "…Ugh… shit." The blond pushed himself up from his bed and stood up. All that went through his head was… "I didn't thank the flea for the stupid table…"

With that, the blond was about to check the time on his phone when he heard a knock at his door.

...

...GONG!

"Wha-" Panic started to flutter in Shizuo's chest. It... it couldn't be... Shizuo still had three days left, didn't he? ...or did he actually manage to sleep through the whole deadline?

Another knock at the door caused the blond to debate between three decisions. One: Open the door. Two: Run away screaming at the top of his lungs. Three: Ignore it and stab himself with a kitchen knife.

"..."

"..."

...who was he kidding?

His heart in his mouth, Shizuo hastily threw open the door before the person outside could knock again, to see...

"...Kasuka?"

The younger Heiwajima brother gave a curt nod, his face, as usual, devoid of emotion. "Hello, Nii-san."

* * *

**...for all of you who were expecting Izaya at the door... my apologies. Oh, and I also have no idea what Kasuka refers to Shizuo as, so I just put Nii-san there. Sorry... and review? :D**


	7. Declaration

**A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! IT'S FINALLY FINISHED! HURRAY! XDDDDDDDD THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS! *caramell dances with totoro* I LOVE YOU PEOPLE! Ooh, and I'm glad people liked the table part too! Thank you... T~T**

**...sorry about this chapter, though... there are a lot of "..."ing since Kasuka doesn't talk much. ^o^" Please enjoy? X)**

**Ah, and I apologize for any grammar/misspelling mistakes... = = **

**

* * *

**

Izaya was running at full speed, practically zooming through the heavily crowded streets, when suddenly, the reality hit him. He screeched to an abrupt halt. ...wait...

_"I'll give you three days to come to me~!"  
_

"..." Izaya pouted, ignoring the stares of random passerby. Oh dear.. that was right. He had already promised Shizuo that he would wait for three days, hadn't he? Breaking that would be like... Well, he could break that promise, but then... Shizuo... would... be upset...

The informant looked almost longingly ahead of him before spinning around on his heel and sullenly trudging back, the very opposite of his attitude earlier.

* * *

"A-ah… Hi." There was an uncomfortable silence on Shizuo's part as his brother waited in the doorway patiently.

"…"

Shizuo blinked before cursing at himself silently. "S-sorry. Here, come in." He hastily stepped out of the doorway.

Kasuka gave another nod before quietly stepping into the apartment, looking completely out of place with the ordinary surroundings, as his older brother fidgeted nervously.

"U-uh… why didn't you tell me you were coming earlier?" Shizuo asked apologetically, hurrying to close the door. "I would have picked this place up… d-do you want anything to drink? Are you hungry-"

The brunette gave the slightest shake of his head. "I'm fine."

"Okay... er..." Shizuo quickly pulled out a chair. "At least sit down." To his somewhat relief, Kasuka consented, crossing his legs and folding his hands into his lap as he sat down.

"...Uh, Kasuka..." The blond started as he sat down as well. "I'm... I'm sorry about the whole actor and the... the clone thing. Is everything all right-"

"Everything is fine. The director actually thought it was a good exercise for all of them."

Shizuo blinked. "Oh... well, that's good."

"..."

"..."

"S-so-" Shizuo tried to start awkwardly, but Kasuka cut him off bluntly.

"I've heard that you're being pursued."

"..."

"...y-yeah..." Shit. Shizuo should have seen this coming from the start.

"...and his name is Orihara Izaya-san."

"Y-yeah..."

"...and he's very persistent." Kasuka finished, tilting his emotionless face.

"Y-yeah."

"..."

"..."

"And he's still alive and well."

"..."

"...he's... he's really fast." Shizuo muttered darkly, trying to ignore his face that was heating up.

Devoid of any emotion, Kasuka blinked his eyes once. "I see. Is that all there is to it?"

"H-huh? ...u-um... yes. He's a flea!"

"..."

"...that's the first time you given someone a nickname." Kasuka remarked monotonously.

"EH?" Shizuo's eyes widened indignantly. "I-it's not!" The blond protested.

"It is." Kasuka stated. It was amazing how someone could sound so insistent yet so... emotionless at the same time.

"..."

"So?" The younger Heiwajima prompted quietly.

Miserable, Shizuo held back a groan. "...so what?"

"Do you like him or not?"

"...I want to KILL him." The blond growled to the ceiling, clenching his fists. "KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL, **KILL**..."

"..." Far too used to this, Kasuka simply waited patiently.

"..."

"..."

After several minutes of angry Shizuo silence, Kasuka spoke up yet again. "You like him."

"..."

"..." Shizuo couldn't exactly say that it wasn't true, therefore, it was pointless trying to tell that to Kasuka. It's just how things are between the two of them.

"..."

"This is a new table." His little brother said abruptly

"...y-yeah." Just leave it to Kasuka to point that out when, apparently, his gaze had been fixed on Shizuo the whole time.

"It's unlike you to go out and buy new furniture." Very true. It was a good thing that Shizuo never fought often in his apartment, or else... it'd be an empty apartment, if not a destroyed one.

"..."

"The fl... I-Izaya got it." There was another silence as Kasuka continued to stare at Shizuo until the latter groaned angrily. "I threw the first one at him, okay?"

"...understandable."

"...um-"

"You drank alcohol."

"..."

No, Kasuka was not a mind reader. He was only a very observant person, of course.

Shizuo sighed and bumped his head on the table. "Not on purpose. Some dumbass spiked my drink."

One of Kasuka's eyebrows raised slightly. "How did you get home?"

"...someone helped me home."

"..."

"..."

"...it was Izaya..." Shizuo mumbled resignedly. "Instead of taking advantage of me, he took me home."

"..."

"...he walked me back to my house! N-not his!"

"I am aware of that."

"G-good..."

"When did it happen?" Kasuka asked, his dark hair falling over his eyes.

"Wh-when? Um... two days ago."

"Two days?" His brother repeated, a small note of quizzicalness barely detectable in his voice. Both knew that it took Shizuo a _little_ longer than that to recover from a hangover.

"...the f... Izaya gave me a hangover cure."

"..."

"...I see. He likes you too."

"..."

Shizuo was about to try and blatantly change the subject when Kasuka suddenly turned his head to the floor. "...what is that?"

"H-huh?" Shizuo turned in the same direction to see... a crumpled up piece of paper.

"..."

"..." Eyes now saucer wide in horror, the blond slowly patted his pocket. ...UH... OH... "K-Kasuka, h-hang on, that's-" It was already too late, of course. His little brother had already reached out and picked the list up, and was currently reading it.

"..."

"..."

"..." Kasuka's pupils slowly moved from the paper to look at his older brother.

Shizuo promptly died. Unfortunately, something jerked him back to life again.

"...you... actually wore pink?"

"..."

Shizuo promptly died again.

"...I... rephrase my previous words. He must really, really like you."

"..."

"..."

"K-Kasuka-"

"Sorry." His brother interrupted abruptly. "I shouldn't be holding you up here."

"Wh-what? N-no, it's fine..." Shizuo started to say, but Kasuka simply held up a hand to silence him.

"You like him. And he likes you. From what I've seen... you've probably tried to kill him multiple times, and he kept coming back. He's seen... the worst... and he kept coming back. And he's not only interested in sex."

"..." Shizuo's face turned red as the blond suddenly became very interested in the floor. The floor truly was a marvel, something that has captivated the human mind for hundreds of years-

"What I'm just saying," Kasuka continued, still staring at Shizuo relentlessly, "is that you should give him a try." With that, the actor suddenly drew a pen from his coat and began to write something down on the list.

Kasuka had such nice handwriting, especially when it was compared to Shizuo's messy scrawl. It was really the only thing the former bartender could think about as he watched his brother.

After a few seconds, Kasuka stopped writing and pushed the paper to Shizuo.

"Huh?" The blond blinked and picked it up hesitantly. There, in the noticeably different handwriting, it said:

_9. Go out with him and see how it goes._

"..."

Shizuo blinked for a second time, then looked back at Kasuka. "...Kasu-"

"I think you should try it. Just wanted to let you know how I thought about it." His brother replied, already getting up from his chair.

Shizuo set the note down. "You're leaving?"

"Yes. I have another film set I need to go to." Kasuka answered, turning around. Shizuo stared after him for several minutes before speaking up.

"O-oi, Kasuka! Wait!"

Kasuka paused and turned around. "Hm?"

"I..." The blond ran his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily, his gaze falling back to the ground. "...I... I am sorry... about... you know. About... about the..." He gestured blindly at his crumpled bartender clothes. "...about... this." Shizuo finished lamely.

"..." Yet, there was another pregnant pause until... the darker-haired brother smiled. Needless to say, it was a very, very, very, _discreet_ smile, and unless you zoomed on Kasuka's face by five times, it wouldn't be noticeable, not to mention that it was gone in a flash... but... it was still a smile.

"...it's okay. I know you tried your best."

"...ah."

The elder gawked in astonishment until gradually smiling as well. "...thanks...'

Before something awkward completely destroyed the warm, family moment, Shizuo spoke up again.

"...where are you getting picked up? I can walk there with you..."

Kasuka seemed to study him carefully before nodding. "...all right. But at least change your clothes. You look like you've been wearing them for a while."

"H-huh? But... don't you need to go to another film set?"

Kasuka shook his head. "It can wait."

* * *

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._ _Tap. Tap. _The steady beat of Izaya's cell phone hitting the desk managed to match perfectly with the tick of the clock on the nearby wall.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. _

Izaya knew that when desperately waiting for something, it was best to try and occupy yourself to make the time go faster. However, in this case, it was NOT WORKING. No matter how many piles of precious information the informant buried himself under, no matter how many people he called. His mind kept going back to one thing.

**_SHIZU-CHAN._**

Izaya had finally stopped calling people in case Shizuo might call him. He stopped typing on the computer in the small chance that if his phone did ring, Izaya wouldn't get to it in time, which really was absurd, since the phone was right in his palm at the moment, but still...

So, there unfolds the scene with our favorite/most hated informant, in his long-sleeved black V-neck, tapping the phone in his hand against the desk while glaring murderously at the clock.

_Tap __Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._ _Tap. Tap. __Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._ _Tap. Tap. _

Namie was in the back, sorting out papers or doing some other secretary-like task. Even without looking, Izaya could tell that she was irritated by his tapping. He didn't give a damn. As if she hadn't done the same with her younger brother.

_Tap __Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._ _Tap. Tap. __Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._ _Tap. Tap. _

Izaya clenched the hand that wasn't holding the phone around his pocket knife. ...WHY COULDN'T HE GO TO SHIZUO'S HOUSE ALREADY- No. The informant took a deep breath. He still had more than forty eight hours to go. He wouldn't last like this. Maybe... maybe he should set _smaller_ goals. Such as... waiting for one minute to pass. That way, it would be faster, and there was still the chance that Shizuo might call him.

All right... He could do this. The black clad man focused on the clock, watching the second hand tick away.

* * *

"I'll stop by again as soon as I can." Kasuka told Shizuo, rolling down the limousine window. Shizuo nodded, though both brothers knew that it could be months before the actor would be able to have some spare time.

"I'm... er... No matter what happen, I'll hold onto _this_ job." Shizuo reassured, adjusting his sunglasses nervously.

"I know you will."

"...a-and... if anything bothers you, you know that you can... tell me, right?"

"Of course." Just before he rolled up the window, Kasuka looked at his older brother expressionlessly.

"..."

"...let me know how it goes, afterward. Give me a call."

The blond took a deep breath. "Yeah."

That being said, the tinted glass rose up. Shizuo got back onto the sidewalk and waved calmly after the black car, not sure if Kasuka's head was turned backwards or not. He then started the walk back to his apartment, feeling slightly guilty and relieved at the same time.

Being the older brother, Shizuo always felt that it was his job to help Kasuka with any problems. But... he supposed their roles just got switched. His monstrous strength didn't really help, either, he supposed.

Sighing, the bodyguard slipped his hand into his pocket... and froze. That was right... his... cell phone... Shizuo nervously pulled the device out, half-relieved, half-crestfallen that it wasn't dead yet.

"..."

"..."

Now... came the hard part. Shizuo flipped his phone open and clicked his contacts. To his perplexity, there was no entry that said "Izaya". Eyebrows raised, Shizuo scrolled down the short list in confusion. Hadn't the flea claimed that he "put" his number in himself- OH HELL NO.

Shizuo's eye began to twitch at the only new entry he could find in his contacts.

_My Seme._

"..."

"..."

"..."

...Well... he... he... supposed there were worst... things than that. Did Izaya... actually put that in there? Was that even the flea's number?

Shizuo groaned out loud before, with great trepidation, clicking on the contact. There was only one way to find that out...

* * *

Izaya's eye began to twitch at the clock.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. __Tick. __Tick._

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. _

_Tick.__ Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick._

___Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

___Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick._

IT COULD NOT HAVE JUST BEEN SEVEN MINUTES. THIS WAS TAKING WAY TOO LONG- No. Izaya would remain patient. Just as long as this minute was over, just as long as this minute was over-

_Tick Tick. Tick. Tick... _ The hand... actually paused.

Izaya snapped.

With deadly aim, the pocket knife went hurtling at the clock, smashing into the glass straight on.

_**CRASH! **_

"..."

"..."

"...I'm not replacing that." Namie remarked without turning around.

"..."

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

Shizuo took a deep breath, feeling like pathetic as he moved his hand over the green button. Just what was he going to say to Izaya anyway? What if this wasn't even the flea's number? True, it said the flea, but still...

...Perhaps he shouldn't think that all. Shizuo seemed to make more sense when he didn't. With that crazy thought in mind, the blond pressed the green button, his heart going a mile a minute.

* * *

Izaya growled to himself before he got up from his desk and roughly yanked the knife out of what used to be a perfectly _accurate _clock, still holding onto his phone with his other hand. Unfortunately, he cut one of his fingers in the process.

In an extremely foul mood, the informant flipped the knife back into his pocket as he sat down in his spinning chair again. CURSE THE WHOLE WORLD. "..." Just the world, of course, not the humans-

"Congratulations. You wasted a minute."

"..."

"..."

_TWITCH. _Namie's head was about to be the knife's next target when-

_Vrrrrrrrb._

All time stopped.

It was from Shizuo, Izaya recognized it immediately. And of course, the phone suddenly became _slippery_, leaving the informant to haphazardly pounce on it as if it were a bar of soap. "Eck, SHIT, DAMN-"

Finally, the informant managed to flip it open. "SHIZU-CHAN?" Izaya demanded rather breathlessly.

* * *

_At the same exact time..._

Shizuo held the phone to his ear, behaving as if it were a bomb, his eyes shut tight as he mentally counted the rings.

_Vrrrrrrb._

_Vrrrrr-_

"SHIZU-CHAN?"

Shizuo immediately freaked and slammed the phone shut. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Clutching his chest, the blond gasped in shock as red began to color his face. "A-ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah-" Panting heavily, a flustered Shizuo lifted the phone up and stared at it with such intensity that one might think that it contained the answers to all the secrets of life.

Oh god... what did he just do? The blond groaned miserably and smacked himself in the head. Did he actually... right now...

"O-oh..." Shizuo groaned again before grabbing at his hair in frustration.

As he was doing this, two random passerby gawked at him incredulously. "...did.. that guy just phone a sex hot line or what?"

"..."

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

_Beep. Beep.__ Beep.__ Beep.__ Beep.__ Beep.__ Beep.__ Beep-_

"...EH?" Izaya gawked stupidly at his phone. "Wha... what?"

"If you can't tell, he hung up on you." Namie said bluntly, getting her bag ready. "I'm leaving." The door shut behind her.

The informant was too transfixed with his phone to even pay attention to his secretary's exit. "..."

"..."

_BAM! _Izaya promptly smacked his head against his desk. How could he have been so stupid, immediately screaming Shizuo's name out like that? Of course the blond would get scared and hang up.

Utterly miserable, Izaya flipped his own phone shut as well. He then proceeded to sullenly twirl around in his chair.

"..."

"..."

"..." He couldn't do this. He couldn't keep waiting when Shizuo had actually called him. ...also, the fact that there was no longer any clock did not help.

Usually, it would be the person on the other end of the line that would be frantically dialing, sweat forming on their fingers. This time, however, it was Orihara Izaya who dialed at a speed no one would have thought possible.

* * *

_Vrrrrrrb._

_Vrrrrrrb._

_Vrrrrrrb._

Still standing exactly where he was before, Shizuo slowly took his phone out of his pocket and stared at the caller ID.

"..." Blushing, the bodyguard opened the phone almost shakily and pressed it to his ear. "...flea? I'm... I'm s-"

"I'm sorry." He heard Izaya reply urgently from the other end of the line. "Shizu-chan, I really am sorry. I..." Shizuo's eyes widened. Why was Izaya apologizing to him? Shizuo was the one who had hung up.

"Fl-flea, it's fine... really.. sorry... for hanging up..."

"..."

"..."

"...Um..."

"...So."

"..."

"..."

Well, this is something new. Two of the most deadly men known in Ikebukuro are both stuck in what has to be... an awkward conversation.

"...Shizu-chan, where are you?" Izaya finally asked, sending a shiver up Shizuo's spine for some strange reason. "U-um..." The blond couldn't think at all. "...I'm by... a building. And... it's... it's tall."

"..."

"..."

"...all right. I will be there in less than a minute. Whatever you do, Shizu-chan, DON'T MOVE." _Click._

"..."

"..." Shizuo gaped at his cell phone screen. Did... that... just... how the hell could Izaya manage to find him anyway? "I'm by a tall building"? Really, Shizuo? The blond groaned again before lowering his phone. This was becoming so messed up-

"Shizu-chan." A voice behind him caused the blond to whirl around, panicked. "Wha..."

A very familiar man in a fur coat smiled almost sheepishly. "Hello."

"..." Shizuo's head kept darting back from his stalker to his phone. "H-how... what... when... AAGGGGGHHHH! SCREW IT ALL!" The blond wailed before grabbing the fur coat in front of him and roughly kissing Izaya's cheek.

The black-haired man's eyes widened as his cheeks reddened a bit. "Shi-Shizu-chan?"

Throughly embarrassed, Shizuo pulled back and looked down at the ground, his face red.

"...f-flea..." The bodyguard began nervously, his face now beet red, "...h-honestly... I... um... er... you see... um.. I... I... I... I... I... Um... you... I... er... um... you... uh... I... I... I-I... u-um... I... I... um... I-I... um... I... I.. y-you... Um... um..."

"...Shizu-chan?" Izaya started cautiously, but Shizuo cut him off.

"N-NOOOOO! DON'T! LET ME FINISH, DAMN IT!"

"..."

"I... you... n-no, I... um... I.. um... I... you... u-um... u-um... u-um... u-um... u-um... u-um... u-um... u-um... u-um... u-um-" Shizuo kept stammering, his eyes squeezed shut and his cheeks getting redder. "W-we... um... er... I... um... I... I..." DAMN IT ALL! WHY WASN'T ANYTHING COMING OUT RIGHT? "I... I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I... I, um, you see... er... i-if... I... m-maybe... e-erm..."

"..." The two just stood there, Shizuo with his flaming face down while Izaya looked at him in a rather concerned way. To be honest, the informant just wanted to kiss Shizuo to get him to shut up, but he was supposed to be "respectful" here...

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The blond screamed all of a sudden. With that, he hurled Izaya away from his randomly and ran away at full speed.

_CRASH!_

"...Oof?" Izaya blinked up at the sky as he shifted among the wreckage around him. "..." His hand immediately went to his cheek. "..."

A short distance away, Erika and Walker were cheering. "Hurray! IzaIza is getting closer~!"

Kadota looked at them dubiously. "...you call that closer?"

"Of course, Kadota-san!" Walker beamed. "Didn't you notice that Izaya-san only got thrown on the street? There was no explosion!"

"..."

Togusa sighed. "Well, as long as you two don't drag me into it, I'll just-"

"Ooh!" Erika squealed excitedly. "He's getting up!"

Kadota turned. "Eh?"

True enough, the informant had risen to his feet, still clutching his cheek.

"..."

"..."

Izaya's face suddenly broke into a rather perverted/drunk-looking grin. "EHEEHEE HEEHEE HEEHEE..." His figure actually swayed a little.

"..."

"..."

Before another comment by either of the four could be made, a truck zoomed past Izaya. As soon as it disappeared, it revealed an empty spot.

"H-HUH?" Togusa managed to stutter as Walker clapped his hands. "Amazing! It's his superb shinobi skills!"

"H-he didn't just..." Years of past experience told Kadota to look up, which he did. Immediately, his jaw dropped open. "WH-WHAT THE..."

On the very top of a random tall building stood the red-eyes man, his arms spread wide as if he were about to jump.

"THE HELL?" Togusa finished, his eyes bugging out in incredulity as Erika's eyes got huge and sparkly in awe.

"EVERYONE IN IKEBUKURO!" Izaya screamed, cupping his hand around his mouth. "I'D LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT I, ORIHARA IZAYA, AM IN LOVE WITH HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO! DO YOU HEAR THAT? I LOVE SHIZU-CHAN! HE IS **MINE**! **MINEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! **MINEEEEEEEEEEEE! DO YOU GET THAT? **DO YOU GET THAT**?"

"U-uh..." Kadota stammered in disbelief, his eyes glued to the small figure of his former classmate.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!" Erika squealed almost just as loudly. "IZAIZA, YOU GOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!"

"We'll be cheering him on!" Walker added enthusiastically. "HURRAY!"

...It was a very good thing Shizuo wasn't in hearing distance of Izaya's... declaration.

...And as for the other random people, they simply went on with their own business. Apparently, speeches such as Izaya's were quite common.

* * *

**...I know. Izaya is way too OOC. I was just thinking about the time in the Durarara! manga where he was declaring his love for humans. XD Poor Shizuo, I think I made him way too shy...**

**If you like this, then review~! Please? :D**


	8. Brake Malfunction!

**A/N: ...Hello, everyone! Please forgive me for this late update and this crappy chapter... Oh well, all of you people are so awesome, you know that? :D You all have my eternal awesomeness and gratitude, reviewers! X) ...ah, and to Shiroyama-san... I don't know, maybe when I finally wrap this one up. )X**

**...there's going to be a lot of... "..." ...and... Celty misspells many things on her PDA. XD ...and I also apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes, once again. XD**

**

* * *

**

Utterly miserable, Shizuo flumped onto his couch and started to bang his head against the armrest.

"Sorry, Kasuka, your older brother is a failure at life…" The blond groaned, curling his knees up into a ball. "…"

"…"

"…"

Currently, Shizuo was a mess. He had been hoping that the talk with Kasuka would make him strong enough to ask the flea if… if… they could…. Yeah. But Shizuo couldn't do this! He felt too insecure! And… the fact that Izaya inevitably made him all flustered and not being able to think properly didn't help, either.

And… and the bodyguard did have pride! He couldn't just go to Izaya and ask him out! …He needed a way to ask Izaya without being such a… such a… girl!

Shizuo lifted up his head as a scene formed in his mind.

* * *

_Smirking, Shizuo kissed Izaya's cheek before leaning into the dark haired man's face, allowing the slightly shocked arms to wrap around his bartender jacket. _"_Hey, flea…" The blond whispered seductively onto Izaya's lips, gripping the fur coat and swinging a leg up around his waist. "…is that offer to go out… still available?"_

_

* * *

_

"…"

"…"

Immediately, the picture cracked in Shizuo's mind and shattered into tiny pieces that the blond frantically swept up and burned.

...Okay. THAT… that was definitely NOT happening, ever. EVER. Shizuo thought desperately as he was reduced to shaking and grabbing a cushion in terror. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER… JUST... TOO WRONG. WAY TOO WRONG. HE WAS NEVER, EVER DOING THAT.

What Shizuo needed advice. ...actually, he already did have advice from Kasuka, and very good advice, too, but... He needed… someone to tell him how to manage this situation, how to deal with a person like Izaya, how to deal with this kind of relationship…

The blond blinked. Hang on… there WAS such a person in Ikebukuro…

* * *

Still feeling slightly exhilarated from his… speech, Izaya flopped down into his chair and sighed. Ah, Shizu-chan… could his love for Shizuo become any greater? It probably couldn't… the informant assured himself as the chair twirled around several times.

Now, if only he could get Shizuo to go out with him… Izaya paused, a wistful expression on his face. He supposed that he would have to wait until Shizuo would come to him again. But how to stop Shizuo from running away like the last time…

Izaya sighed again. Hmm…

...

...

...he couldn't think of anything. But he could think of...

* * *

_Smirking, Izaya tilted Shizuo's red face up and kissed his cheek, his other arm wrapping around the bartender jacket. _"_Ne, Shizu-chan…" The black-haired man whispered seductively into Shizuo's shuddering ear, "Does this mean you're still up for that date?"_

_

* * *

_

"…"

"…"

All right, enough time in dreamland, Orihara. Izaya got up from his chair and surveyed the view in front of him.

As much as he hated to admit it, the informant… needed advice. Someone who has a relationship with a shy but violent uke like Shizuo… Someone who knew what to do or what to say… someone…

Izaya blinked. He must be really out of shape if it was taking him this long to figure out who could help him.

* * *

_Shizuo?_ Celty typed in, her helmet tilted quizzically. _What's wrong? Are you all right?_

"…Celty, I… need your help." Shizuo muttered, shuffling awkwardly in the doorway. "…Shinra's… not around, is he?"

_Shinra? No… he's upstairs talking to one of his clients, I think. Why? What's the matter?_

"N-nothing… it's… it's just…"

The dullahan stared at Shizuo before hastily ushering him in and making him sit on the couch.

"Th-thanks…"

_No problem. So… what's the matter?_

The blond groaned and put his head in his hands. "Listen… I just need to know… how… how you manage to… to be all right around Shinra. You know… since he and you are…"

"…"

Much to Shizuo's apprehension, smoke started to seep out from under the helmet.

"…C-Celty?" Celty gave a slight jump and before hurriedly typing something on her PDA.

_A-ah, sorry about that. I didn't meant to… well… you're talking about Izaya, right?_

"…"

There was a short silence until Celty started to type again. _Well, Shizuo… I understand how you feel. It's just too embarrassing, isn't it?_

Shizuo took a few seconds to read the phone screen before nodding vigorously. "Y-yeah! It's exactly how… it is! I… I just can't seem to get my message across to flea without… well… you know… running away?"

"…" After a slight pause, Celty typed out something once more on her PDA and showed it to Shizuo.

_Why don't you try texting it to him? It's what I do all the time with Shinra._

"…"

"…y-yeah…" Shizuo agreed hesitantly, "But… you're still there in person. If I don't said it to… to the flea face to face, it'll be like I'm a coward. But… when I did try, I ended up running away… like… a coward."

"…" Shizuo heard fingers hitting keys once more. _Well… there's one thing that always reassures me and keeps me calm when it comes to Shinra._

"What's that?" The blond asked, puzzled.

Celty erased the previous message and typed again.

_Shinra's... Well, he's not impatient. He's always willing to wait for me to get my words typed out. With that in mind, it manages to calm me down, somehow._

"…" Blushing a little, Shizuo fiddled with his blue sunglasses, which, of course, were off of his face. "I… I don't think the flea would have enough patience for me…"

He was a bit taken back by the force in which Celty shoved the phone in his face. _NO! That's not true, Shizuo! Izaya really does like you! I've never seen him act like this around anyone else! If it's anyone who would be patient for you, it's him!_

"R-really?" The blond blushed deeper and looked down at the floor. "…haha, that makes me feel a little guilty…"

_Don't be guilty. Izaya deserves it._

"…"

"Eh?" Shizuo blinked as the phone was lifted up again.

_Also... punching him in the gut might help, too._

"…yeah, I think I like that solution better."

Celty nodded and typed a new message. _Usually, I would just punch Shinra for being an idiot and then hug him. It makes me able to express my feelings for him without turning all… what is the word… I suppose it just helps my embarrassment._

"Huh…" Shizuo scratched his head. "That actually does make sense, in a way. Maybe… maybe that could work for me, too."

Celty gave another nod. _And after you punch him, just go up to him and kiss him or hug him or… whatever you want to do. It'll work out…_

Smiling sheepishly, the bodyguard stood up. "Well, I better go, then. Sorry for bothering you…"

His friend hurriedly shook her head before standing up as well and typing out a question. _Wait. What are you going to do now?_

"Ah…" Shizuo paused. "I… I guess I'll just call the flea and meet him somewhere… again…"

_Oh, why don't you just go to Izaya's office? I think he's usually in there…_

"His… office?"

* * *

_Ten minutes earlier…_

Shinra sighed as he adjusted his glasses. "Is this really something that needs to be discussed on the _roof_, Izaya?"

The informant pouted stubbornly. "I don't want Celty to hear this, that's all. Where is she, anyway?"

"Downstairs, I think. Probably on the computer again." The underground doctor answered, his hands once more returning to the white lab coat pockets. "But anyhow, that's not the matter here, is it? Something tells me this is about Shizuo-kun again and if it is… well… I can assure you I've given you all the information I know about him-'

"No." Izaya cut off, looking up at the sky. "…I… just wanted advice."

"…"

"…"

"…you wanted… advice?" The bespectacled doctor repeated slowly, shooting Izaya an incredulous look.

"…"

"…and how is your new table, by the way?"

"…it's fine. Or, at least, I think it is."

"…"

"Um… so… what do you need advice for?" Shinra asked hesitantly.

"…does Celty ever get embarrassed in certain situations?" Izaya said suddenly, avoiding eye contact with Shinra.

"…"

"…Er… that… a lot of times, I suppose. Why?"

"…well, what do you do when that happens?"

"When that happens…" Shinra blinked through his glasses. "…well, I just be patient when that happens. That is just the way she is, so I accept it." Knowing what this was about, he also added, "And that's the way Shizuo-kun is, as well. If you continue to wait for him, I'm sure it'll be worth it."

"…you waited twenty years for Celty, you do know what, right?"

"I don't think it'll take that long, Izaya. After all, the two of you are closer in age."

"…"

"…it might also help if you let Shizuo-kun punch you." Shinra offered.

Izaya finally turned back to Shinra, an eyebrow raised. "…you do realize that Shizu-chan's punches are harder than Celty's."

The brunette shrugged. "You were the one who fell for him, Izaya. Punching you might help Shizuo-kun feel less embarrassed about himself. You also have to take into consideration that this is his first 'real' relationship."

Izaya fiddled with his switchblade. "…yeah, I shouldn't rush him." The informant agreed.

"And after he's done punching you, he'll probably kiss you or hug you or something like that." Shinra continued, starting to grin. "You just have to be careful not to say anything to annoy him, or to ruin the atmosphere."

"Yeah, I figured." Izaya muttered, still playing with his knife. What was the point in his coming here? Shinra was just telling him everything he already knew… or was he?

"Izaya?"

"Hm?"

Much to Izaya's surprise, the doctor bended down, glanced about furtively, and then whispered into his ear. "I'd also advise not to suggest anything about sex. Let Shizuo-kun be the one to initiate it, all right?"

"…"

"…"

The informant frowned childishly. "Do I have to?"

"I'm just saying it might to lead to a better outcome, that's all."

"…"

"…okay, then." Izaya stood up. "Now! I better get going! Thanks!"

Shinra nodded and straightened up. "Good luck, then!"

Before Izaya could disappear like the secret ninja he was, however, there was a clambering from downstairs, and they were both greeted by the sight of Celty frantically waving her helmet.

"…Eh?" The informant hopped down onto the balcony. "What's the matter?" Shinra soon followed, landing less gracefully, however. "OOOF!"

_W-w-w-w-wait, Izaya, you were the one Shinra was talking to? Wh-why aren't you in your office?_

Craning his neck to decipher the characters on the screen, Izaya tilted his head. "Why do you ask?"

You could just see the dullahan's frustration coming off in waves. _AGH! It's just… Shizuo had stopped by, and now he's going to your office to see you!_

"WHAT?"

"You're kidding me!" Shirna cried from the background. He was ignored.

Celty typed another message again. _HURRY UP AND GET THERE!_

"Gah… SHIZU-CHAN!" The informant practically yelled before taking off like a jet, leaving the couple on the balcony.

"…"

"…"

_Celty clasped her hands together in front of her, worried. I, I really hope that he makes it in time…_

"Ah, yes…" Shinra leaned on the balcony railing and sighed dreamily. "But look at what has happened! This is exactly like a romantic comedy, and we're the side couple!"

"..."

If she had a head, Celty would have been gaping at the doctor incredulously. _WHAT?_

"…ah, never mind, then. Well, let's just pray for Izaya and Shizuo-kun's happiness, shall we?"

"…"

* * *

When he finally found Izaya's office, Shizuo ended up running into Namie first. And, it was not the best meeting for him, since he was a little hesitant and shy. Celty's directions were still scrunched up in his hand.

"...can I help you?"

"…e-erm… well... is... is this Orihara Izaya's office?" The blond asked awkwardly.

Namie looked at him blankly for ten seconds before seeming to come to a realization. "Oh. You're Heiwajima Shizuo-san."

"…yeah. S-so, um, is Izaya-"

The secretary sighed, opening the door. "Izaya-san is not here right now (I don't know about you, but I'd be grateful for that). You can still come in, if you want. I'm not sure when he'll be back, though."

"He's… he's not here?" Shizuo repeated stupidly, feeling his heart sink. "O-oh… w-well… I… I guess-"

Before Shizuo could finish his sentence, however, Namie was suddenly flying out of a window and Izaya magically appeared in her place.

"I'll… I'll…" The blond stopped and stared. "…fl… flea? Wait… what… uh… huh?"

Breathing heavily, but trying to hide it, Izaya managed a grin. "H… hello, Shizu-chan! Ahaha...ha... ha... What a pleasant surprise… do come in."

"…"

"…"

"O... okay."

* * *

As soon as Izaya shut the door behind them, the atmosphere became a little... awkward, if anything else.

"..."

"..."

And then, the silence was unexpectedly shattered when Izaya whirled around to Shizuo and held his hands up, as if surrendering.

"...flea?"

"Just go ahead and do it, Shizu-chan." The flea said with a grin. "It'll probably do the both of us some good."

"..." Shizuo quirked an eyebrow at Izaya. Was the flea implying what Shizuo thought he was implying? ...oh well. Too bad if he wasn't. With that in mind, Shizuo pulled back his fist and swiftly punched Izaya right across the face.

"OOF!" The informant ended up soaring to the bookcase and colliding into it with a nasty _crunch_, books spilling off the shelves and all falling onto them. He barely had time to poke his head out of the heavy pile of literature before he was roughly yanked to his feet by his coat.

Sighing at the pain on his probably now bruised cheek, Izaya flipped his head forward, expecting to see Shizuo's angry face and bracing himself for another punch.

Instead... he received a soft, rather hesitant kiss on the bruised spot.

At that moment, Izaya swore that all the pain immediately disappeared. Or... maybe he just forgot about it.

Blinking, the informant felt Shizuo's hand slowly loosen its grip on his collar before simply pressing his chest. Another hand slid slowly to Izaya's shoulder.

"..." Izaya noticed the red starting to show in Shizuo's cheeks as he put his arms around the former bartender. Smiling, he pecked Shizuo's cheek as well, adding his signature sound effect. "M...mwah!"

"Fl-flea!" The blond sputtered indignantly, jerking his blushing face away. His arms still remained where they were, though.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"I'm telling you, Celty, this is fine." Shinra reassured through his helmet, clutching Celty's waist as they sped toward Izaya's office.

_Shinra, this is NOT fine!_

As he could read Celty's mind, there was no need for the PDA.

"We're just checking on them, that's all."

"..." _We will be intruding! I'm sure of it... this is so rude..._

The doctor gave a sigh. "Now you're thinking that we're intruding. I'm sure that it won't come to that... how about... we just keep an eye out for Shizuo-kun in case he decides to run away again, okay?"

"..." Celty's helmet turned around to look at Shinra. _You say that, but I don't think we'd be able to stop him!_

"...we can stop him! Stop worrying... you're the one he came to for advice, after all..."

"..." _W-well, that is true, but... but still... we really shouldn't be doing this!_

* * *

"We really shouldn't be doing this!" Kadota protested as the van sped toward Izaya's office.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine, Dotachin~!" Erika assured from the back, practically jumping in her seat with excitement.

"...that's what you say..."

"We're just being the reinforcements if anything goes wrong!" Walker added innocently. "We're just checking on them, that's all~!"

"Un, un! We can't let that perfect pair fall apart, can we?"

"..."

"..."

"...also, we do want to see some real live boy's love action." Erika admitted, blushing.

"T-tch..." Kadota gritted his teeth and he adjusted his cap. "L-look, I'm sure everything will be fine between those two. There is no need to worry! We should turn back! NOW! O-oi, Togusa-san, back me up against these two!"

"No, Togusa-san would never!" Walker declared from the back. "Elsewise, he'd be cursed and hunted down by... THE DREADED BERGENEF! ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY BERGENEF!"

"THE MIGHTY BERGENEF!" The other otaku cheered.

"...the fuck?" Kadota demanded in the front of the van. "Th-that's it! Togusa-san! Turn this van around now! Togusa-san! ...Togusa-san?" The said man was currently pale and twitching.

"..."

"...Togusa-san, what's wrong?" Walker asked, his head tilted. "...also, don't you think you should slow down a little? As eager as Karisawa is to get to Izaya-san's office..."

"..."

"..."

"...I can't." The man said in a deathly whisper, sweat tricking down his face.

"..."

"...you can't what?" Kadota asked with building dread.

"...I can't turn... slow down."

There was a silence in the vehicle until...

"OF COURSE HE CANNOT! THE MIGHT BERGENEF COMMANDS HIM-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Togusa practically screamed, sheer panic now evident in his eyes. "I MEAN THAT I CAN'T DO FREAKIN' ANYTHING! THE FUCKING BRAKE IS BROKEN!" As if to prove his point, the van sailed past a red light, narrowly avoiding a collision with another car.

"WH-WHAAAAT?" Kadota managed to yell, starting to panic as well. "It... it can't be broken! You've got to be kidding me!"

"DO I LOOK LIKE I'M KIDDING?" The poor driver shouted, clutching the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. ...which... in a way... it did. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Both men in the front freaked as the many cars in front of them were forced to swerve sharply in order to avoid a crash.

"HURRAY!" Erika and Walker cheered from the back.

"HURRAY IS _NOT_ THE WORD FOR THIS SITUATION, YOU DUMBASSES!"

"BUT KADOTA-SAN, THIS IS THE DRAMATIC SCENE OF ALL MOVIES AND MANGA! IT'S INCREDIBLE!"

"KYAAAAAAAA! I'M SO EXCITED! AREN'T YOU, DOTACHIN?"

"EXCITED TO DIE? YOU IDIOTS AREN'T THE ONES IN THE FRONT!"

Walker grinned widely. "Oh, I'm sure we'll be all right. It happens all the time."

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! AND THE _CAR _IS GOING TO DIE!"

"Oh, be a little more positive, Togusa-san!"

Having reached his breaking point long ago, Togusa choked in indignation, rage, and hysteria. "YOU ASK ME TO BE POSITIVE WHILE THE CAR IS GOING TO DIE AS WELL-

Erika suddenly interrupted them by pointing ahead. "Hey, what is that?"

"H-huh?" All four heads turned to see...

A certain black motorcycle right in their path.

"..."

"...Uh... oh..."

Shinra turned around and spotted the van. "Ah, Celty, we better get out of this vehicle's way-" Celty shook her helmet and held up her PDA. _Wait, Shinra. I recognize this van. It's Kadota-san's and the others._

"Oh, really?" The doctor blinked. "Ah, it is! I suppose it should be fine, then-" The van kept driving straight at them. Soon, the horrified faces of Togusa and Kadota were visible.

Realizing that something was wrong, Celty hurriedly started to move out of the way as Shinra put a hand to his chin. "Hmm... they appear to be screaming... I wonder what's wrong with them... ah, Celty?"

To the dullahan's terror, her horse would not move. WHAT? WHAT WAS GOING ON? _HELPM E SHNIRA!_

"HUH? It isn't moving? Why?"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Togusa yelled in frustration. "WHY AREN'T THEY MOVING?"

"Hmm... maybe something's wrong with her motorcycle?" Erika suggested. A few seconds later, the horror of the situation dawned on her. Either that, or the panic spread. "OH GOOOOOD! WE'RE GOING TO CRASH INTO HER! YUMACHI, DO SOMETHING!"

"E-EH?"

"DAMN IT! THEY GOTTA GET OUT OF THE WAY QUICK!" Kadota cried desperately.

"Wh-why isn't it moving- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Shinra ended up emitting a high pitched scream as the motorcycle suddenly jerked to life and ended up zooming into some nearby bushes and toppling.

"OOF!"

Getting up, Celty rubbed her shoulders, but looked fine. Shinra's head and arms were buried in the bush, but his legs that were waving helplessly in the air looked fine as well. He was probably yelling at Celty to help him, but... oh well.

"Th-thank goodness..." Walker breathed in relief. "They're safe..."

"Y-yeah..." Kadota agreed. "Now all we're just going to crash in the building..."

"..."

"..."

This time, all four freaked out. "OH GOD! WE'RE GOING TO CRASH IN THE FREAKIN' BUILDING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Celty put her hands to her helmet in shock. _Shniar, DO SOEMTHING! ...Shinra?_

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Kadota shouted as the van neared the building.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Erika screamed, latching onto Walker and squeezing him as tight as she could.

"A-AAAGHA!" Walker's yell was really strange, partly because he was being choked to death by Erika and... maybe he was a little embarrassed, too?

"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!" Togusa screamed, still clutching the steering wheel. "MY GODDESS! I AM SO SORRY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAH!"

"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE-"

"FATHER! I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU! I'M SO SORRY!" (I'll just leave it to your imagination on who said that...)

**_CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!_**

**_KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!_**

The van collided with the building straight on, causing a huge rumbling noise.

A few feet away, Celty was knocked to her feet from the impact while Shinra continued to flail his legs in the bush.

"EEP!" Inside of the building, Namie managed an undignified shriek as she was knocked down to the floor, paper flying everywhere.

Upstairs, Izaya and Shizuo felt the collision as well.

"EH?"

"WHOA?" Had they been standing separately, the men might have been able to actually keep their balance. However, in their tangled embrace, they fell backwards, Izaya on top of Shizuo.

"ECK!" The blond yelped as Izaya instinctively grabbed his hands.

While this was going on, the smoke from the van's crash slowly dissipated, revealing its all very much alive and miraculously uninjured occupants. "..."

"..."

"..."

Kadota opened his eyes, slowly getting up from the air bag in his face. "...holy cr... did we just... survive that?"

"...I... think we did. But... the car... didn't..." Togusa moaned next to him.

"..."

"..."

Walker actually blinked his eyes open. "...huh? Am I dead? ...K-Karisawa!" He cried as he saw Erika hugging him. "I AM IN HEAVEN!"

"...ah?" Erika opened her eyes as well. "...AH! WE SURVIVED! I TOLD YOU, DOTACHIN!"

Ignoring this comment, Kadota kicked the car door opened and struggled out to see... Yagiri Namie with her mouth open in shock at them.

"...Hi? We're here to see Izaya and Shizuo?"

* * *

"..."

"..."

All thinking processes grinded to a halt in both brains. Neither could think as they stared, shocked into each others' eyes, both breathing a bit heavily from the fall.

"..."

"..."

Nothing could register in Izaya's brain as he took in Shizuo's startled and flushed face beneath him, his hands pinned to the ground with Izaya's own, increasingly aware that he was straddling the blond.

Some kind of explosion took place as well in Shizuo's long muddled brain as _he_ took in Izaya's startled face above him, very much aware of the pale hands pinning down his own and the jean-clad knees that nudged both sides of his waist.

"..."

"..."

"...ah." Finally, Izaya started to move, trying to loosen his hold on Shizuo's palms. Unfortunately, it was only then when the informant realized how... _close_ his and Shizuo's faces were.

Very, very, slowly, the black-haired head began to lower down onto Shizuo's face. ...it had to be gravity. Yes, gravity. Gravity was forcing his head down... ...

Shizuo's breathing hitched noticeably as Izaya's face got closer, and closer. His heart racing in panic, the blond tried to move frantically. But for all of his incredible strength, for once, the Heiwajima was helpless. It was as if Izaya's grip on his hands was iron. And somehow... that started a funny feeling... in his stomach... and... some place else.

Fascinated with the frightened brown eyes, Izaya moved his face closer, so close that their noses were bumping.

"A-ah-"

_SLAM! _The door burst open.

"Hey, what happened to knocking first..." Kadota trailed off in his sentence as he, Togusa, Erika, Walker, Namie, Celty, and Shinra all took in the sight of Izaya pinning Shizuo to the floor. And almost kissing the blond.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Namie shrugged. "...well, I suppose that explains why the crash didn't bother them. I suppose that they are all right. ...in fact, more than all right..."

"..."

"..."

Erika made an odd noise and clutched her face. Walker put a shocked hand to his own face. "Oh god! What have we intruded on here?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

Izaya slowly got off of Shizuo, holding his hands out in front of him innocently. "E-everyone, this is NOT what it seems like, as unlikely as it see-." Grabbing his face in mortification, Shizuo got up as well, blushing deeply. Izaya stared at him, and then got struck dead by Shizuo's cuteness. "...uh."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Celty's PDA was shaking in noticeable anger. _I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-IZAYA! YOU SAIDH OU WOUDLN'T DO ANTYIHGN!_

Shinra simply gawked.

Kadota took a deep breath and covered his eyes. "O... okay, then. As happy as I am for both of you to have found... each other... I really, really did not have to see that. I'm leaving, goodbye."

Togusa just turned and followed Kadota, muttering something about him being scarred forever.

"..."

"...A-A-AAAAGH!" Blushing madly like a schoolgirl, Shizuo chose the closest exit possible. ...which... was the window.

_CRASH!_

"..."

"...He's all right... if you were wondering..." Shinra offered in the dismal silence that followed.

"..."

"..."

Izaya just clutched his cheek again and stared at the spot where Shizuo was, gaping like an idiot.

"...if this is how IzaIza acts now, how is he going to be after they have sex?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

* * *

**...AHAHAHAHAHA. I AM SO SORRY. THIS CHAPTER...did not turn out as good as I wanted it to. )X Why does that always happen? ARGH! **

**...they will go out. It may be... a long time... but it will happen. I promise you. This will have a happy ending. X) I am such a weak author... agh... now off to study my English terms... and my science. Bummer. )X**


	9. Toilet Stall

**A/N: Hello, everyone... Gah, I am so sorry for this late chapter! T T B-but... I have an excuse! Yesterday, the power went out an hour before I was going to put it up, and by the time it came back, it was eleven and I was like "Agh, damn..." and yeah. XD I'm glad most of you like Erika...**

**knightinred: XD Thanks!**

**Cherria****: Ahahaha, hmmm... that's a good idea... *perverted mind gears start again* Lol**

**0mohni0****: Aw, thank you so much! *bows* However, I am simply an unoriginal author who gets her ideas from the school environment and anime shows. XDDDD Van gang forever!**

**DarkRoadHina: Yeah... sorry about this late update... ^_^**

**Sarah32138****: XD Yeah, those two groups were struck with karma. Thank you! ^.^ And here is where I would bug you to update your story, but as another author, I can't talk. X)**

**Allen Nara: Lol, my apologies to your cat. ^0^" Thanks! X) And... most likely, they'll kiss either next chapter or next next chapter... maybe. X)**

**NeutronStarsCollide****: Er... thank you... y-you really don't have to do that, though... ^_^"**

**Najaskk****: ...Uh... thanks? 0 . 0"**

**Dreaming Rain****: XDDDDDDDDD All righty then... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... I loved that too... XD**

**Mew Darchuleta****: Ah, I'm sorry about your stomach... = =**

**Queliet Kuro Shiroyama****: Oh, I'm sorry, Kuro-san... ^.^ Ah, really? o0o" THANK YOU SO MUCH! X) **

**963Q-karin****: Erm... 0_0 ...XD thank you! ^0^ **

**Ginger Blackmore****: Aw don't worry, I know that feeling! X) XDDDDDDDDDDDDD Thank you so much...**

**Uccan: Erm... thanks! YES IZAYA WOULD BE MORE THAN WILLING TO DO THAT, EHEHEHE!**

**Disclaimer****: ...I don't own Durarara... and I don't own S.A. either... )X**

**

* * *

**

_Vrrrrb._

_Vrrrrb._

_Vrrrrb._

"A-agh, shit!" Shizuo swore as he half-stumbled across the room to get to his phone. His heart pounding wildly, he glanced at the caller ID to see…

…"Kasuka"'s name on the screen. Not "My Seme".

"…"

…was that good or bad? Oh, well, he should hurry and answer before it went to voicemail. With those happy, happy thoughts circulating around in Shizuo's chopped up brain, he quickly flipped the phone open.

"K-Kasuka?"

"Hi." The younger brother greeted emotionlessly.

"Um…" Shizuo scratched his head quizzically. "…is something wrong? Aren't you supposed to be working now?"

"I am. But they've given me a short break, so I decided to call you."

"O-oh… er… thanks?"

"…"

"…"

"…so… how did it go?"

On the other end, Shizuo blinked. What? How did wha… …oh.

Oh.

That.

Yeah.

Shizuo shuffled his feet sheepishly. "…erm… well…"

"…you didn't go out with him yet?" He could hear a brief trace of concern in Kasuka's montone.

"Um… well… about the date… it's… it's _getting_ there… sort of… maybe…"

"…it's… getting there?"

"Er… yeah."

"…"

"…all right..."

* * *

If he went out today, Shizuo would run into Izaya. He just knew he would. However, the blond didn't go out because of that fact… he just needed some fresh air… that's… all….

Who was he kidding?

"Shizuo!" Simon called out happily. "You're feeling good and well today, ne? You should eat sushi, sushi is good!"

"N-no thanks…" Shizuo gritted out, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, hoping the tout wouldn't try to continue the conversation, if you could call that a conversation…

Much to Shizuo's annoyance, Simon did. "What's wrong, Shizuo?" The Russian asked, a look of concern on his face. "You're not feeling well? Did Izaya make your bottom feel bad?"

"N-no, it's noth…" The former bartender stopped in mid speech. "WAIT. DID IZAYA WHAT?"

With a completely grim and serious face, Simon continued, nodding his head as he spoke. "I know Izaya, he can be rough. Shizuo is strong, but that doesn't mean he could be hurt from that, no? Izaya has knife, handcuffs, bad…"

Shizuo stared at Simon in a mixture of incredulity and horror. WHAT ON EARTH OR IN ANY OTHER NEARBY GALAXY AND BEYOND WAS THE TOUT TRYING TO IMPLY? WAS HE SAYING WHAT SHIZUO _THOUGHT_ HE COULD BE SAYING?

There was no way… there was no way Simon could be talking about something other than what Shizuo thought he was talking about, no matter how broken his Japanese was… The blond thought as he continued to gawk stupidly at Simon, who simply droned on about handcuffs, ropes, sore fingers, and sore butts. BUT… There was no way Simon could be talking about what Shizuo thought he was talking about! THERE WASN'T! How could the tout possibly go on a tangent such as that with such a serious face?

Shizuo's shocked expression slowly reddened as the tout went on and on, too flabbergasted to interrupt or move away. Until, of course, he caught scent of something. Something that smelled very familiar…

"So it's not good for Shizuo to go through that and not have sushi." Simon finished. "Which is why he should-"

"And just how would you know that, Simon?" The smooth tone cut through the tout's Japanese like… a… a knife through swiss cheese? Or maybe a cleaver through Shizuo's head would make a better comparison.

"…"

"…"

"…It's the impression Izaya gives off." Simon finally offered after a long silence.

"…"

"Well…" The informant started, casually brushing his hand against Shizuo's, secretly delighting the blond's sharp intake of breath, "Then I think Shizu-chan would be better off being nursed back to health by me than eating sushi in such a _dangerous_ environment, don't you think so, Shizu-chan?" The hand brushed purposely against his again.

"Uh… uh…" Was the only thing that Shizuo could pretty much say at the moment.

"…" Once again, the three strongest men in Ikebukuro were all silent, until…

"Simon!" A man from inside the shop called out. "We need you to work inside!"

Without another word, Simon lumbered into the shop obediently, but cast a glance at the black-haired and the blond before disappearing inside.

"…"

"…"

Izaya glared in the direction of where Simon had went and muttered something under his breath. It sounded suspiciously like "If Shizu-chan never wants to have sex with me, I'm blaming him", but Shizuo wasn't in any position to make such assumptions, was he?

"…"

"Iz-"

The informant turned back to Shizuo. "…Shizu-chan, I want to go out with you." Izaya stated rather bluntly.

"…" Shizuo's face flushed, and his eyes were once more entranced by the marvel of the wonderful ground.

He heard a sigh before a pale hand reached out and tilted his head up, causing brown to meet with red.

"…will you please go out with me, Shizu-chan?" Izaya whispered softly, gently caressing the side of Shizuo's face.

"U-um…" Unable to escape, the blond squeezed his eyes shut. "U-um… um… I… I have a horrible temper!"

Izaya chuckled and kissed Shizuo's forehead. "I think I already know that…"

His cheeks reddened further. "A-and… I… I'm really stupid, too…"

"And?" The informant placed his other hand on Shizuo's shoulder.

"A-a-and… I… I don't work well with relationships. I… I really won't know what to say or do sometimes…"

"And?" The hand began to massage the tense shoulder, soothing the tightened flesh.

"A-a-a-and… I… um… I… I get angry too easily… and… I rip things from the ground and cause destruction… I… I get a lot of bills-"

"And?" Izaya muttered before kissing Shizuo's eyelids.

"M-mm…" The bodyguard tightened his own hands helplessly at his sides while Izaya continued to make his heart race. "…I'm… I'm… I have bad breath! I smoke!"

Izaya snickered before inhaling deeply at Shizuo's mouth. "...smells more than all right to be..."

"G-g..." The blond blushed more than what was thought to be humanely possible, what was left of his thinking process was breaking rapidly down. "I'm… I'm…" His stalker raised an eyebrow at him expectingly. "…I'm a really bad kisser." Shizuo finished, leaning in shamefully to Izaya's touches.

"…" And that's when Izaya laughed. "Ahahahaha!" The blond flushed furiously once more, but he… kind of liked that laugh. It had no mocking ring to it, no perverted tone, it was just… a laugh. Hm. Shizuo thought Izaya should laugh like that more often.

* * *

"I thought you two had already learned your lesson!" Kadota growled angrily, staring stubbornly ahead as Walker and Erika eagerly watched from the back of the van.

"But Dotachin, we're not going to interfere, we're just watching."

"Yes! In case another mishap occurs, we'll be there to save the day!"

"…"

"You two are more likely to mess it up right now…" Kadota grumbled as Togusa trembled in fright next to him. Surprinsgly, it was Walker and Erika who had paid for all the damage of the van, (where or how they had got the money, Kadota did NOT want to know) and Togusa was given the choice to either drive them there or have another anime poster put on his vehicle. So… that was the reason why they (meaning ONLY Walker and Erika) were stalking- ahem, mildly observing the two…

* * *

The informant couldn't help himself. _"I'm a really bad kisser"_? Really, Shizu-chan? Izaya laughed, watching the redness of anger and embarrassment deepen in Shizuo's cheeks. But… Izaya liked the laugh he just made. He wasn't being egotistical, it was just… that kind of honest laugh. It had been a long time since he laughed like that. …maybe… about twenty three years? Yes, that sounded about right… and to think Shizuo would be the one to make him… well, on the other hand this is Shizuo that he was talking about…

"You're a bad kisser, Shizu-chan?" Izaya repeated, still grinning as he pushed his face towards Shizuo's, whose eyes were hurriedly looking down at the ground.

Wanting Shizuo to look at him, Izaya purposefully bumped his nose lightly against the blond's. Shizuo shamefully darted his eyes back to Izaya before gasping softly, surprised at the very, very, VERY small distance between them.

"A-ah!" If Shizuo's mind hadn't been a mess before, it certainly was one now.

The black-haired informant chuckled again softly and closed his eyes. "I think I'll be the judge of that…" Izaya whispered, seconds away from the heated lips of his love, when-

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~~~~"

Both pairs of eyes snapped open (Yes, sad to say, Shizuo had been closing his eyes) to see… fangirls. Sticking out of bushes. Staring at them.

"…"

"…" Shizuo and Izaya immediately turned black and white and froze in their places. With the exception of Shizuo's red cheeks, of course.

"…"

"…mmgh.. gh…" After making several incomprehensible noises of embarrassment, the blond hurriedly ran away at break neck speed, leaving a shocked Orihara Izaya behind, his hands still frozen in place.

"…"

"…"

* * *

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Erika wailed heart-brokenly. "IT… IT CAN'T BE… WHY? WHY?"

"See." Kadota mumbled bad-temperedly. "It was your own 'kind' who spoiled it… besides, it was kind of obvious that _some_ kind of interruption was going to take place. They're in public, in front of a restaurant, for heaven's sake-"

"KIND? THOSE ARE NO OTAKU!" Erika declared in indignation, pummeling the seat in front of her angrily. "They have no experience! A true otaku would _never_ spy in such OBVIOUS conditions!" Smacking a light novel threateningly against her hand, Erika growled. "Why those… I'LL TEACH THEM WHAT A TRUE-"

Now ignoring Erika, Kadota turned his attention back to where Izaya was, since Shizuo was no longer there. "…is Izaya even serious about Shizuo?" The former gang member wondered out loud. True, he had never seen Izaya become so… eager about pursuing someone, but…

"On the other hand.." Walker mused out loud in a thoughtful tone. "Perhaps it is better. You know what they say about not kissing until after the first date..."

"W-well, that's true, but still..."

* * *

Izaya blinked, then finally lowered his hands. "…" The fangirls had long fled away, whether it was from him (or Erika, probably), the informant didn't care. What just mattered was that he had been very, VERY close to kissing his Shizuo. And by this point, "very close" no longer satisfied him.

Orihara Izaya wanted Shizuo, and he wanted him NOW.

And he always gets what he wants NOW.

"Let me go, Yumachi!" Erika protested, banging on the window before Kadota hastily interrupted her. "Oi. What's Izaya doing now?"

"…Huh?" The four all peered closely out of the window to see the informant…

Running almost Kida-Maosomi-like after Shizuo.

"…"

"…"

"…see?" Togusa offered weakly. "It'll be all good, now, he'll catch up to Shizuo, they'll kiss and make up, they'll go out, they'll bang each other, they'll have each others kids, and THAT'S THE FREAKIN' END OF THE WHOLE DAMN THING!"

"…"

"…"

"Ah, Togusa-san, but we must ensure that that WILL happen! AFTER THEM!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRR…"

Because the van had recovered from its brake malfunction, it zoomed forward and managed to find the blond walking with a depressed cloud over him.

"THERE HE IS!" Walker cried unnecessarily, pointing to the bartender clothing as Erika looked behind them worriedly. "But IzaIza is so far behind! We need something to distract Shizu-Shizu… Ah, but what…. Hmm…"

Togusa and Kadota slid down in their seats as _discreetly _as they could when-

"AHA!" Erika snapped her fingers triumphantly, reaching into a bag. "I've got it! A kitten!"

"A k… WHAT?" Kadota demanded incredulously. "You… where the heck would we get a kitten-"

"HERE!" Walker interrupted, reaching into the bag as well and suddenly pulling out a cute-looking, but very much alive kitten.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" Kadota and Togusa yelled at them in unison. "WHA… HOW THE HECK COULD YOU HAVE THAT THING IN THERE THE WHOLE TIME?"

Walker shrugged before rolling down the window and tossing the kitten out of it, causing the other two men to freak out even more.

"AAAAAAAAAAAGH! YUMASAKI-SAN!"

"YOU CAN'T JUST THROW A KITTEN OUT OF THE WINDOW LIKE THAT!"

"But Dotachin, he'll be fine…" Erika reassured as the kitten soared to the sidewalk where Shizuo was walking.

"TH-THAT'S NOT THE POIN…" Kadota suddenly paused. "Hang on a minute… why is it taking so long for that kitten to land on the ground?"

"…"

"…"

Not to anyone's surprise, that query remained unanswered.

* * *

Shizuo halted in surprise when a kitten, of all things, suddenly landed with a violent crash in front of him.

"…" If you would believe it, the thing looked like it was still alive. And it didn't even look SCARED. Not knowing what else to do, the bodyguard hesitantly bent down to look at the kitten, if it actually WAS a kitten, who knew what demons could be lurking in Ikebukuro's streets…

While this was going on, Izaya had finally caught up with Shizuo, to see…

Shizuo's butt raised up in the air.

"…"

_POW._

Instantly, the black-haired man suffered a huge nosebleed and ended up having to retreat into some nearby shrubbery to recover.

"Oh, good, he made it!" Erika cheered out of the window as Kadota face-palmed at the situation. "Okay, kone-chan, now come back~!"

The kitten immediately leaped out of Shizuo's grasp and raced back to the van, which, thankfully, the blond didn't recognize, for some strange reason.

Or, it might have had something to do with the fact that a hand had gripped his wrist as a familiar scent filled his nostrils.

"…"

Shizuo hastily turned around, blushing, the random kitten completely forgotten. "…F-flea-"

"Shizu-chan," Izaya started off determinedly, "I l-"

"W-wait, what happened to your face?" Shizuo asked in concern, raising a hand toward Izaya's cheek. "There's blood on it… d-did you run into something? I… I'm sorry…"

"…ehehehehehe, it's nothing to worry about." Izaya replied cheerfully, patting Shizuo's shoulder. "Anyway… go out with me." The informant repeated bluntly. "Please, Shizu-chan?" His grip on Shizuo's shoulder tightened.

"…"

"…A-ah…" The blond looked down to the ground again.

All the van gang, including, regrettably, Kadota, held their breath.

There was a long silence between the two of them. Fortunately, by now, all of the city's inhabitants were aware of what was happening between the two, and went on with their own business. As for the fangirls, well… if they messed up anything, it was all known that Erika would wreak havoc onto them.

"Um… flea…" Shizuo started hesitantly, shuffling his shoes, "Erm… you… are aware of all of the things I just said, right?"

Izaya leaned in and kissed the blond's cheek again. "Mmwah! Of course, Shizu-chan!"

"…" His face flushed deeply, Shizuo gazed back at Izaya. "…a-and… you… you still want to go out with me?"

The flea simply laughed again. "Ahahaha! Shizu-chan… what have I been trying to do since the first time we met?" Izaya asked, smirking at Shizuo.

The blond smiled back shyly, one hand starting to fiddle with his sunglasses.

"…besides trying to grab your perfect butt, of course." Izaya added, completely shattering the touching atmosphere.

"…"

_SMACK!_

"Oof!" The informant went flying into the sidewalk, and landing rather painfully.

"Y-YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO MENTION THAT, FLEA!" Shizuo yelled out, his face very red and he stomped up toward the nightmare.

"…heheheheh…" Slowly, Izaya got up, wincing a little. "Oww… well, was that a yes, Shizu-chan?"

The bodyguard froze, feeling very much like a girl. "…U-um-"

"Shizu-chan, I just had an idea!" Izaya sing-songed, skipping happily to the bodyguard while seeming quite recovered from his… fall a few seconds ago.

"H-huh?" Shizuo yelped out warily as Izaya seized his hand.

"Let me take you around this city for a day!" Izaya continued cheerfully, waving his other arm around them as if to empathize his words. "We can do anything, watch a movie, eat somewhere, or just look at the view~! That can be our date! How does that sound? Ne, Shizu-chan? Do you accept?"

"That sounds wonderful!" Walker whispered ecstatically from the van. "The usual love comedy date!"

"Ssh, Yumachi, wait for ShizuShizu's response!"

Shizuo, meanwhile, had taken a deep breath. "…Fl-flea… I… um… um…"

All of the people in Ikebukuro secretly tensed.

Sweat starting to form on his palm, Izaya simply grasped Shizuo's hand harder and stared intensely at the blond, waiting for an answer.

"…"

"…"

Shizuo squeezed his eyes shut, his heart pounding ridiculously. "Y… ye-"

_CREAK!_

"E-EH?"

_SMASH!_

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

"I-IZAYA?" Just as Shizuo was about to say his answer, a pole suddenly fell to the ground, hitting Izaya straight on.

"O-ooh…" Clutching his now bleeding head with one hand, and still holding Shizuo's with the other, Izaya stared at Shizuo dazedly.

"…"

"O-oi, are you okay-"

"…Are you an angel?"

"…"

"IZAYA!"

"A-ah, just kidding, just kidding!" The informant cried hastily, getting to his feet awkwardly. "…I must say, that was a nice pole, though…"

Shizuo gawked at him incredulously before turning to the pole and doing the same thing as well.

"I'LL KILL THAT POLE-" Erika declared fiercely as Walker and Togusa held her back.

Meanwhile, Izaya had somewhat recovered, Shizuo still looking at him in concern. For someone who carelessly got hurt all the time, Shizuo became a big worrywart when it came to others… N-not just Izaya, of course…

"Shizu-chan, can you finish what you were saying before… the pole came down?" Izaya asked in a very _polite_ way, smiling at Shizuo innocently.

"…U-uh…" His face heating up once more, Shizuo gulped and stared at the informant bravely. "Er… what I was going to say… was…" It was that moment, when he was looking at Izaya for several seconds, did it hit him.

Izaya was an annoying, perverted, stalkerish, and freakish flea. And Shizuo was in love with him. It was plain as that. There was no way he could live with the flea, and there was certainly now way that he could live without the flea, either. Because Orihara Izaya was… Orihara Izaya. Did that make sense? Shizuo really didn't give a damn at the moment. He was in love. He really was in LOVE. The thought alone made his heart pound like crazy once more and filled him with a girlish excitement that embarrassed him to no end.

Izaya tilted his head quizzically when Shizuo suddenly stopped fidgeting and actually smiled again. "…Shizu-chan?"

"…Flea…" A hint of blush still evident on his cheeks, Shizuo hesitantly placed his other hand on Izaya's chest. "…Fl-flea… I…"

Izaya's breath hitched as he realized what Shizuo was about to say, his face reddening as well.

"Flea…" The fingers curled hesitantly against the long sleeved black shirt. "I'll go ou-"

_Vrrrb._

_Vrrrb._

_Vrrrb._

"H-huh?" Shizuo nearly jumped as a phone vibrated. For one wild second, he thought it was his, since he could actually feel the vibration, but then, it was actually Izaya's phone.

They were so close to each other that their bodies were… touching. "…" …Broken out of his daze, Shizuo felt his hands start to tremble in mortification.

"…U-um… er… uh… you… you better answer that." The blond muttered, heavily embarrassed. To his somewhat crushing feeling, Izaya obeyed and reached in his pocket to pull out his phone, still not breaking eye contact with Shizuo.

He was about to let go of Izaya's hand when the informant promptly pressed the end button once his phone was flipped open, then shoved his phone back into the pocket of the fur coat.

"Fl-flea?"

"Shizu-chan, finish what you were saying." Izaya said, gazing determinedly at his crush as he tightened his hold on Shizuo's hand.

"…"

Now EXTREMELY embarrassed, the bodyguard nervously gulped before starting again. "Fl-flea… I'll… I'll-"

_Vrrrb._

_Vrrrb._

_Vrrrb._

_Vrrrb._

"…" Shizuo promptly closed his mouth.

Izaya gave an angry hiss of frustration before getting out his phone again. This time, Shizuo was sure that the informant was going to answer it.

Instead, Izaya threw it randomly into a bush that surprisingly did not muffle the ringing.

"…"

Once more, the black-haired man turned back to Shizuo. "…you were saying, Shizu-chan?"

"...y-you shouldn't have done that." The blond stuttered at him, recovered from his temporary speechlessness as the phone was heard ringing again.

The red eyes narrowed in impatience. "Shouldn't have done what?"

"Y-your phone!" Shizuo protested frantically, his hand still on Izaya's chest. "I-I mean… you… you have a lot of information in that phone, don't you? And… phones are r-really expensive these days!"

Izaya glared back at Shizuo stubbornly. "I'll get it back once you finish your sentence."

"N-no, you should get it back now and answer, it might be an emergency or something-"

"NO."

The strong refusal took Shizuo by surprise, and already, the blond could feel the blood rush to his face, the excitement twitch in his stomach. "Ah… ah… AGH! I… I HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM! SO… WHILE I'M GONE, ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE, DAMN IT!" With that, the blond tore himself from Izaya and hurried away to the nearest bathroom, leaving behind a very unhappy Orihara Izaya.

"…"

"…GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…" Izaya growled, slashing at the innocent shrubbery with his knife. Picking up the phone, which was no longer vibrating, Izaya flipped it open to see…

* * *

"DOTACHIN? IT WAS YOU WHO KEPT CALLING IZAIZA? BUT HOW COULD YOU?" Erika wailed, grabbing her face in despair as Kadota shrugged without a trace of shame.

"Izaya's phone is pretty important, you know… for his job, at least. Getting information or telling information… it's basically his life."

"BUT KADOTA-SAN, WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?" Walker demanded, looking almost as distressed as Erika.

"It just shows me how much he values Shizuo, that's all." Kadota replied, closing the phone shut. "With that, I'm reassured. They really both like each other, and they really both deserve each other."

"WHA… BUT DOTACHIN, THAT WAS OBVIOUS FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!"

"…not really, Karisawa."

"IT WAS! …AND… IZAIZA IS GOING TO BE SO MAD AT YOU ONCE HE FINDS OUT THAT IT WAS YOU WHO CALLED HIM!"

Kadota shook his head. "Not really."

Erika paused in midrant. "…EH? What do you mean?"

"I didn't use my phone. I used yours."

"…"

"…"

* * *

"AAGH…" Shizuo groaned as he sat down on the toilet cover, his hands grasping his hair in frustration. Now how was he to go back to Izaya, after running away like that? His cheeks were still red with shame, Shizuo sighed.

Before he could dwell more about his predicament, yells were heard outside of his toilet stall.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"WHOA!"

"HOLY CRAP, SLOW DOWN!"

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!"

"Man, someone really needs to go-"

Intrigued, Shizuo was about to get up and see what the commotion was all about until…

Slashing sounds that sounded suspiciously like a knife were heard behind his door. WAIT, WHAT? And, if that wasn't enough, stall door actually fell apart in neat little pieces, to reveal…

Shizuo's jaw dropped open in the most eloquent way. "I-IZAYA?"

* * *

"LET ME GO IN~~~"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, KARISAWA-SAN, YOU ARE A **FEMALE**! AND THERE'S NO WAY ANY OF US ARE GOING IN THERE!"

"But Kadota-san, I'm a male, I can prove it to you-"

"**NOOOOO!** IT'LL BE FINE, THEY'LL WORK IT OUT! WE ARE LEAVING! I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH MONEY YOU TWO ARE MAKING FROM THOSE DOUJINSHIS! NOW GET BACK INTO THE VAN RIGHT NOW!"

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"SHIZU-CHAN!" Breathing rather heavily, the informant immediately leaped onto the blond and straddled him against the toilet, completely ignoring the shocked yells behind them.

"F-FLEA?" Shizuo managed to shriek out. "WH-WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" How was the toilet wide enough to support both of them? ...well, that wasn't the main issue of the situation, so let's just ignore that.

"SHIZU-CHAN!" Izaya demanded, grabbing the bartender collar. "WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME TOMORROW?"

"FL-FLEA!" Shizuo yelled scandalously, the blush on his face multiplying tenfold as onlookers (all male, of course) gathered curiously around the stall. "G-GET AWAY, YOU SICKO! WHAT IF I HAD BEEN USING THE BATHROOM?"

"SHIZU-CHAN, YOU'RE NOT USING THE BATHROOM! SO GO OUT WITH ME, PLEASE!" Izaya demanded as Shizuo got more and more flustered, cramming his blue sunglasses into his face with one hand as the other hung in the air helplessly.

"...besides, Shizu-chan, I've never known a person to urinate with their sunglasses on..."

"..."

* * *

_While this was going on..._

"..." One of the onlookers turned to another and scratched his head, unable to hear what was going on, despite the fact that both males were yelling. "Is rape going on in that stall or what?"

"...I think someone's boyfriend wants him to use the bathroom with him, or something..."

"..."

* * *

"F-FLEA! W...WE'RE IN PUBLIC! IN A PUBLIC **BATHROOM**! AND... AND... YOU'RE FUCKING STRADDLING ME!"

"SO? WE WOULD NOT BE IF SHIZU-CHAN HADN'T GONE INTO THAT BATHROOM IN THE FIRST PLACE!" The flea countered. "NOW, GO OUT WITH ME, SHIZU-CHAN!"

"BUT…. BUT… BUT…"

"SHIZU-CHAN!"

"AAAAAAGH! DAMN YOU FLEA!"

"WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?"

"PEOPLE ARE STARING, YOU KNOW!"

"WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?"

"I FUCKING I HATE YOU!"

"WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME, SHIZU-CHAN?"

"I WILL KILL YOU!"

"WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME, HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO?"

"WHA... AAAAAAAAAH!" The blond yelled back. "FLEA, NOT NOW! AT LEAST WAIT FOR ME TO FUCKING **PEE**!"

"SHIZU-CHAN, I L...IKE YOU! WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?"

"DAMN YOU TO HELL!"

"HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO, I LIKE YOU! WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME TOMORROW?"

"…"

"…Y...YES!" Shizuo squawked out, his face fire hydrant red.

Izaya's determined expression was suddenly replaced by a blank one. "…Really?"

"YES! I'LL GO OUT WITH YOU TOMORROW! NOW GET THE HELL OF ME!"

"R-really? Shizu-chan..." A creepy grin appeared on Izaya's face as he leaned into the blond's own.

"YES, YOU FUCKING DAMN, PERVERTED, IDIOT FLEA! NOW STOP FUCKING STRADDLING ME AGAINST THE STUPID TOILET SEAT AND GET THE HELL OFF SO I CAN KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!"

Completely unfazed by these threats, Izaya wrapped his arms around Shizuo's waist and nuzzled into the bartender's neck. "Oh, I'm so happy right now, Shizu-chan-"

"G-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I WILL KILL YOU!"

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

_To be continued…_

_

* * *

_

**OOOOH! :D So now what will happen during their date? *guarantees that there will be van gang trailing and OHSHC influence will be clearly spotted* XD **

**Oh, and for the phone scene... I totally got the inspiration for that from S.A., episode 21... so... yup. X)**

**Reviews = Happy Raikun = Happy IzaShizu date = Happiness! ...right? XDDDDDDD**


	10. First Date Part 1

**A/N: ...PLEASE... PLEASE... FORGIVE ME... TAT ...I HONESTLY WANTED TO PUT THIS CHAPTER UP NEXT WEEK... BUT... THEN I GOT A PROJECT FOR JAPANESE. THEN FOR HISTORY. THEN FOR ENGLISH. THEN FOR SCIENCE, AND THEN IT WAS JUST LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH AND THEN I HAD TO WORK FOR KEY CLUB AGAIN AND THEN I WANTED TO DRAW AND THEN I GOT DISTRACTED AND THEN I THOUGHT I LOST MY IPOD AND PRACTICALLY TEARED THE HOUSE DOWN LOOKING FOR IT AND THEN I GOT THE DREADED THING THAT HAPPENS TOO OFTEN FOR MY LIKING AND... sorry. Just giving you lame excuses here, I'll stop. T T" *runs and hides in emo corner***

**...I'm really sorry for all the grammar/spelling mistakes in here... T T I'll do my best to be back next week!**

**

* * *

**

"T-tomorrow?" Shizuo stuttered to himself as he stomped around his apartment, trying to hide his flush. "Tommorow… D-damn flea… of course he would say something as last minute like that… g-gah…"

_Vrrrb._

_Vrrrb._

Expecting the worst (but hoping for the best, of course), Shizuo yanked his cell phone out of his pocket bad-temperedly and flipped it open without even glancing at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Hi. It's me." Shizuo blinked as he heard Kasuka's voice. "K-Kasuka? Oh, hi…"

"…"

"…so…" Kasuka's voice trailed off expectantly. "Orihara Izaya-san…"

The blond brother let out a quite groan before slamming a hand to his face. "I'm…" Shizuo moved his hand from his hair. "…I'm… gonna go out with him tomorrow."

"You are?"

"Y-yeah…"

"That's good."

"…"

"…how did he ask you?"

Shizuo raised an eyebrow at the cell phone. How did Kasuka know that Izaya was the one to ask him out in the first place? "…erm…"

"…He didn't ask you?"

"N-no… he did…"

"…"

"…as he straddled me against a toilet. A PUBLIC toilet."

"A toilet?"

"A toilet." The elder brother repeated grimly. "A-anyway, how's work goin-"

His feeble attempt at changing the subject was shattered as Kasuka repeated it again. "Hm. A toilet. That is something new."

"…" _Twitch._ "K-Kasu-"

"I'm sorry. Work's fine."

"O-oh, r-really? That's… that's good…" Shizuo muttered while internally debating whether or not to make him sound like the gayest most gay gay gayest guy of all time. Aw, who cares? He got straddled against a toilet. If he had any pride left then, it certainly was gone by now. "K… Kasuka?"

"Hm?"

"D… do you think I should… well… wh-what… do you think… I should… should…"

"…"

"…"

"Nii-san-"

"What do you think I should _wear_?" The blond mumbled as quietly as he could, his cheeks flushing a dark red.

"…I think whatever you choose will be fine."

"…" Well, that was very helpful, wasn't it? GEEZ, THANKS, KASUKA! "…Um… Y-yeah, guess you're right… er… anyway… um… I better let you go."

"…all right then. Good luck tomorrow."

"Y-yeah, thanks. Talk to you later." Shizuo then made to close the phone, but paused when he heard Kasuka say something else.

"…be safe. You know how to use a condom, right?"

"Y-yeah, yeah, WAIT, WHAT? KASUKA? KASUKA! WHAT THE HECK DID YOU JUST SA-"

_Beep._

The blond sighed. "Well, I better go get some sl-"

_Vrrrb._

_Vrrrb._

A little grumpier than before, Shizuo flipped his phone open again. "K-Kasuka, of course I know how to use a fucking condom, damn it-"

"…Shizu-chan?"

The former bartender froze. "…eh?"

"…"

"…"

"FL-FLEA? WHA… WHA… U-UM…" Blushing furiously, Shizuo pulled the phone away from him and realized, to his horror, that, well…

He was talking to Izaya, not Kasuka.

"…Oh. Hi, flea."

"…Good evening, Shizu-chan…" Shizuo then heard slightly shuffling sounds, as if Izaya was lying down and shifting his position.

"…H-hey… that… that didn't happen, okay?" The blond squawked, his face bright red.

"Heh, don't worry, Shizu-chan, it'll just be our _secret_… But anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about."

Shizuo sat down nervously. "Wh… what did you want to talk about, then?"

"As elated as I was to have Shizu-chan accept my date, I realized that we didn't even agree on a place and time to meet~!"

The blond growled. "That was your fault, flea. You should have waited for me to get out of the damn bathroom."

He heard a familiar chuckle. "Only to have you shyly run away from me again? Come on, Shizu-chan, where and when do you want to meet tomorrow?"

Shizuo quirked a suspicious eyebrow before rolling his eyes. "Fine, flea… h-how about… two in the morning on the top of the Raira Academy building roof?"

"Okay!" Izaya replied eagerly.

"AAAAAAGH! NOOOOOOO!" Shizuo practically screamed into the mouthpiece. "I-I WASN'T SERIOUS, DAMN IT!"

To his speechlessness, Izaya actually sounded disappointed. "You… weren't?" The other man whined.

"N-No, e-erm… fine! We'll meet… at… at… um… at nine! Nine in the morning tomorrow, you got that, flea?"

"Nine? Okay. Where? Or… perhaps I could just pick Shizu-chan up from his house instead-"

"WE ARE GOING TO MEET AT NINE IN THE MORNING AT… AT WEST GATE PARK! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT, FLEA?"

"Ahahahaha~! How fitting, Shizu-chan!"

"H-huh?" The blond blinked. "J-just how is that… wait… o-oh…" Shizuo blushed sheepishly as he remembered. Where he first saw Izaya… how… fitting… indeed…

"It's a _date_, then, Shizu-chan~!" Izaya sang happily in the phone. "I'll see you tomorrow~!"

_Beep._

"…" Shizuo closed his own phone shut and then proceeded to bump his head against the table that Izaya brought him. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… I AM SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO FUCKING _SCREWED_…"

With that happy thought in mind, the man got up, changed into his pajamas, and curled up in bed.

* * *

Izaya crossed his arms behind his head on the couch, looking blankly up at the ceiling. To be truthful, the informant had been expecting a lot of _weird_ things to come out of the blond's mouth when he picked up the phone, but that was just… unexpected.

A wicked smile immediately twisted the man's features. Not unwelcome, though…

Earlier, in an ecstatic daze, he had simply twirled around in his chair with an awestruck look, and waved his hand at Namie, telling her to cancel everything planned the next day.

In return, he got a pencil (razor sharp, too!) thrown straight at his forehead, but no amount of pain could stop Orihara Izaya now! He was going to spend an ENTIRE day with SHIZU-CHAN! AS A _DATE_!

With that honestly happy thought in mind, the man lay down, already in his pajamas, and attempted to sleep.

* * *

_The next morning…_

"…tch…" Izaya ran his fingers through his spiky hair and let out a sigh. "I didn't get much sleep as I wanted to last night…"

"Oh, poor you…" Namie remarked sarcastically as she wheeled out a cart of books.

"Heh, that was rather rude, Namie-san… but…" With a dramatic flip of his hand, Izaya leaped up and crossed his arms. "I'll forgive you this time, because I have an important issue at hand!"

The brunette resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "How interesting…"

Ignoring her comment, Izaya suddenly threw a bunch of clothes out of nowhere, startling the former doctor. "CATCH!"

"A-agh!" Namie managed to yell before falling to the floor. "WHA-WHAT THE-"

"Don't wrinkle the clothes!" Her employer admonished from behind, his hands on his waist. "Now, Namie-san, which one should I wear?"

"Wh-what?" The secretary barked out indignantly, trying to find her footing while still holding the enormous amount of clothes. "Who gives a damn?"

Izaya smacked his chest while returning Namie's glare. "I do! Now, which one do you think looks best on me?"

"YOU LOOK HORRIBLE NO MATTER WHAT YOU PUT ON! AND WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY _CLOTHES?_"

Izaya rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't be ridiculous, those are only three outfits."

"H-huh?" Namie demanded wildly.

"Namie-san, as your employer, I demand that you tell me your opinion!" Izaya growled through gritted teeth, actually seizing some of the clothes and holding them up. "What do you think? The outfit that I wore in my high school days but still somehow fits me perfectly? Or the double long sleeved shirt with the black jeans-"

Poor Namie shoved the rest of the clothes back into Izaya's arm. "Geez! If you care so much, then just go in your underwear, for crying out loud!"

Izaya's red eyes widened. "You really think so?" He started to pull at his long-sleeved black shirt.

"_NO_, YOU IDIOT! NOT IF YOU WANT TO GET DUMPED ON THE SPOT!"

"THEN WHAT _SHOULD_ I WEAR? TELL ME, NAMIE-SAN!"

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Rubbing at his tired eyes, Shizuo lifted up a finger to clock on his wall. "It's… it's eight o'clock… which gives me less than one hour to find out to wear… before I have to go on my… d-date with Izaya… s-so…"

"…"

"…WHY IS IT SO DAMN DIFFICULT?" The blond roared, ready to pound the table in frustration, until he realized it was the table Izaya got him. He hastily settled for grabbing his hair instead.

_Don't worry, Shizuo, calm down. We have a lot of time._ Celty reassured, patting her friend's back as Shinra peered around Shizuo's closet eagerly.

"Wow! I would never imagine that you would still have any other clothes than your bartender outfits, Shizuo-kun! Izaya would certainly like this-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" The blond yelled in humiliation, wishing that the world would end so he wouldn't have had to face this.

Cetly shoved her PDA roughly into Shinra's face, practically making him go cross-eyed. _SHINRA! YOU GO OUTSIDE, NOW! _

"E-eek, okay, okay, I get it…" The doctor quickly exited the room, his hands extended protectively over his stomach.

Shizuo remained where he was until a PDA nudged his hand gently. He looked up.

_Sorry about that, Shizuo. Anyway, don't panic. It'll be okay…_ Her helmet off, the dullahan "glanced" around the closet before typing another message to Shizuo.

_E-erm… I'm not a good clothes expert either, but let's see what we have here, okay?_

"Y-yeah…"

* * *

_Forty minutes later…_

Namie massaged her forehead in irritation. "Just close your eyes, point at an outfit, and then just wear it without any second thoughts." It was a very good thing (or not) that Izaya was the one who supplied her paycheck, elsewise, she would have escaped long ago.

"I have only fifteen minutes until I have to meet Shizu-chan!" The informant yelled, grabbing both sides of his head. "NAMIE-SAN, JUST PICK ONE YOURSELF!"

Namie huffed irritably. "Why do I have to choose? Oh, and by the way, you have twenty minutes, not fifteen."

"No, no, I only have fifteen!" Izaya insisted wildly, still staring at the clothes in front of him. "I have to get there early!"

His secretary raised an uneasy eyebrow. "…you… never "have" to get to anything early…."

"I DO!" Izaya paced wildly around his clothes before suddenly stopping and turning to Namie. "…and as for your question, if something goes wrong on my date with Shizu-chan, then I can just blame you, Namie-san."

"_WHAT_?"

"I didn't say that. But I need your opinion. NOW. PLEASE!" Izaya begged, his hands together as he bowed wildly up and down.

"…you… are really that desperate, aren't you?"

"YES. YES, I AM! NOW CHOOSE ONE!"

"B-but…" Namie put a hand to her hair nervously. "They… they all look the same!"

"The same? THE SAME? IF THEY ALL WERE THE SAME, DO YOU THINK I WOULD BE IN THIS DILEMNA? DO YOU? Can't you see that they're all DIFFERENT?"

"…kind of, I guess…"

"JUST CHOOSE!"

* * *

_At the same time…_

"THIS. IS. NOT. WORKING!" Shizuo wailed, now shirtless in his boxers. "That's it! I can't do this, Celty!"

_You can, Shizuo!_ Celty typed out desperately. _Just… just wear something that you're comfortable with!_

"Comfortable? NOTHING'S COMFORTABLE FOR ME! GAAAAAAH! I NEED TO KILL SOMEONE…."

Before Celty could start typing again, the door clicked open and Shinra popped his head in. "It's been over half an hour, so are you done ye-"

_NOOOOOOO! YOU GO BACK OUTSIDE!_

"It's all right, Celty…" Shizuo mumbled despondently. "I don't care anymore… I'm doomed…"

Shinra scratched his head at his former classmate. "If you're like this, Shizuo-kun, I can't see how Izaya will be any better off- ah?" The doctor paused before rummaging in his white lab coat pocket to bring out a vibrating cell phone.

Celty cautiously held out her PDA. _Shinra? Who is it?_

"Oh?" Shinra's glasses rose in surprise. "It's him! Izaya!"

Celty bolted up in surprise, misspelling her message. _Areyo userious? _

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Shizuo screamed before grabbing a chair. Whether it was for offensive or defensive purposes, no one was really sure. That included Shizuo himself.

"I'm… I'm going to pick up, okay?" Shinra said tentatively. "I'll ask him what he wants Shizuo to wear."

"…"

The doctor opened the phone. "Hello?" Shizuo winced.

"Shinra!" Izaya yelled into the line loudly. "MY EMPLOYEE IS _WORTHLESS_!"

"R-really? Er… why is that so?" The doctor asked politely before sneakily pressing the speaker button, allowing Shizuo to hear what was going on.

"YES! SHE WOULD NOT GIVE ME AN HONEST OPINION ON WHAT SHE THOUGHT I SHOULD WEAR FOR TODAY! AND I ONLY HAVE FOURTEEN MINUTES UNTIL I HAVE TO MEET SHIZU-CHAN!"

At the mention of his name, Shizuo's mouth dropped open. Celty looked surprised as well. …who would ever guess? Izaya …was suffering the same problem as he was…

"All right, Izaya, calm down…" Shinra said soothingly into the receiver. Celty tapped his shoulder meaningfully. "Well… er, first…" He glanced at Shizuo. "…what would you want Shizuo-kun to wear?"

"…what I want Shizu-chan to wear?"

"Yes…"

"…."

"Hmm…a maid outfit?" Izaya offered hopefully.

"…"

"GAGH?" His entire face flaming red, Shizuo choked unintelligibly as Celty wished for her helmet for the sheer sake of being able to face-palm.

"U-um, okay, well, there's nothing wrong with tha- AAAAAAH-" Shinra gagged as Celty prodded him roughly in the stomach. "B-but, you also have to remember that Shizuo-kun is probably never going to do that, at least voluntarily! So… what else?"

"…" There was silence on the other end. That is, until…

"…I want him with his bartender outfit…" Izaya muttered, rubbing his cheek with his other hand. "…and the sunglasses, too…"

Still holding the chair, Shizuo widened his eyes in surprise as his cheeks flushed slightly.

Now smiling, Shinra chuckled. "Well, if that's the case, I'm sure that Shizuo-kun would like it if you showed up in your coat, Izaya…" He looked to the blond for confirmation. Shizuo gave an abashed nod of his head.

"…Shinra?"

"Yes?"

"You are the greatest doctor in the world. I hope you and Celty marry and have many babies together."

_Beep._

"…"

"…"

"…Oh… okay…"

_Was he being serious or not?_ Celty asked on her PDA. Quickly remembering herself, she hastily deleted it and typed in another. _Anyway, that's not the point! Come on, Shizuo! Let's get you into the bartender outfit before Izaya gets there before you!_

"Ah, that's right! Do your best, Shizuo-kun!"

"…UGH…"

* * *

Shizuo sighed to himself as he walked along the tightly crowded street. With Celty and Shinra encouraging him on, the ex-bartender had left in a rush, thinking in a panic that he was going to be late. However, it was pretty clear that that was not the case. Flipping his phone open again, the blond glanced at the time and sighed. He was super early. What an idiot he was…

Cursing, Shizuo found himself at the park bench in no time. He raised an eyebrow at it behind his sunglasses. Was this coincidence or what?

Little did the bodyguard know that he was being watched.

"We really, really, REALLY do not need to do this…" Kadota growled from behind as Erika and Walker peeked over the bushes eagerly.

"Good! The feminine one is here early! That part is crucial for a classic shoujou date!"

"Feminine? How in anyway is Shizuo feminine-"

"SSSH, Kadota-san!"

Kadota rolled his eyes before scanning the streets for Izaya. "…speaking of Izaya, why hasn't he done anything to you guys yet? Or is he actually in that good of a mood?"

Erika turned back to Kadota eagerly. "Well, Dotachin, even if he wasn't in a good mood, we wouldn't be at fault!"

"Oh? And why not?"

"Because…" Walker dramatically whipped out a videotape from his backpack. "…WE FILMED THE WHOLE THING! WITH A CAMERA INSIDE OF TOGUSA-SAN'S CAR!"

"WHAT?" _That_ jerked Togusa up, glaring at the two incredulously. "YOU GUYS HAVE A CAMERA IN MY CAR? JUST WHERE THE HELL IS IT?"

"SECRET~!"

"GODDAMN IT, MY CAR IS NOT SOME STUPID SPY VECHILE, IT IS A _CAR_ AND A CAR ONLY-"

Meanwhile, Shizuo, oblivious to what was happening, stared up at the sky, wishing that he had brought his cigarettes with him. Not knowing what else to do, the blond looked back down and shuffled his feet nervously, feeling his insides churn with equal amounts of anticipation and dread.

"…m-maybe I should take these off…" Shizuo mumbled to himself, touching his blue sunglasses hesitantly. "I-I mean… the flea did mention that, but…"

"Ah, Shizu-chan?"

"EEH?" The blond whipped his head back up disbelievingly to see… none other than Izaya. "O-oh… Hi." Upon seeing each other, both hearts skipped a beat.

"Ah, I'm sorry…" Izaya started hesitantly. "Were you waiting too long? I-I knew I should have come earlier…"

"N-no!" Shizuo interrupted hastily, still seated on the bench. "I wasn't waiting here long… th-thanks, though…"

"…"

"You look good today." Izaya said awkwardly, his hands in the pockets of his coat. He meant it. Shizuo seemed the same as he did any other day... but... well, he looked good!

"Um…" Shizuo flushed lightly before looking away. "Thanks… you do, too…"

"Well…" Rubbing the back of his neck rather sheepishly, Izaya smiled. "Shall we go, then, Shizu-chan?"

Smiling hesitantly as well, Shizuo nodded. With that, the blond got off the bench and walked alongside Izaya.

_Behind the scenes…_

Kadota shrugged. "Well, at least that went well…"

"AGH, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Erika demanded wildly, shaking her head. "THEY DIDN'T EVEN HOLD HANDS! WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? THEY NEED TO HOLD HANDS!"

"…u-um, maybe it's because they're both guys or something?" Togusa offered timidly as flames began to steam in Erika's eyes.

Meanwhile, Shizuo followed Izaya hesitantly. "Erm… so, flea, where are we going?"

Grinning, Izaya turned to Shizuo. "Well, where do you want to go, Shizu-chan?"

"…" Sliding his hands in the pockets of his pants, Shizuo actually thought. "…anywhere but Russian Sushi." The blond finally muttered. "I won't be able to stand Simon if he's there."

"Ahahahaha! All right then…"

Walker shook his head. "What a pity. That would make it too easy for us to follow them-"

Erika suddenly cut him off. "H-hey, look!"

"H-huh? What, what's wrong?"

"Karisawa?"

"Shi-Shizu-Shizu and Iza-Izay both look a little strained about something, d-don't you think?"

"…what?"

Shizuo bit his lip as he stared at Izaya's hand. Why, WHY did that hand have to be hanging out so casually out of the pocket? Looking closely at it, Shizuo noticed the ring around the pale index finger, and… why was Shizuo so fascinated with Izaya's hand? Because… hands are so fascinating…

Fine, call Shizuo cheesy or what… he… kind of wanted to hold Izaya's hand. …all right, scratch that, he wanted to hold Izaya's hand! Was that a crime or something? They… were on a date after all, right?

Shizuo clenched his own hand tight in his pocket, already feeling his palm sweating slightly.

Meanwhile, Izaya, of course, had not noticed a bit of Shizuo's strange behavior. Why? Because…

NO GROPING. GROPING IS BAD. The informant repeatedly told himself while trying (and failing) not to stare at Shizuo's butt. …NO… GROPING… MUST… NOT… GROPE…. NO… G-GROPING- His right hand was hanging out of his pocket, just inches away from that gorgeous, beautiful piece of fl-

MUST NOT GROPE! REMEMBER WHAT SHINRA SAID! Izaya gritted his teeth. That… would just make Shizuo angry, and… yes. So, Izaya would be respectful and NOT grope Shizuo's butt. …Shizuo's… butt… His eyes glued to that certain… part of the body, Izaya felt his hand begin to sweat slightly.

Shizuo…. Shizuo could NOT do this! The blond grimaced in embarrassment at the thought of trying to grab Izaya's hand only to result in… disaster, maybe? …but.. at the same time…

Erika put her hands to her face in horror. "OH GOD! THIS IS SOOOOOO BAD!"

Togusa scratched his head. "…so, you can tell all of that by just looking at them?" He was ignored.

"N-NOOOOOO!" Erika wailed, flailing her arms frantically. "WHAT'LL WE DO, WHAT'LL WE DO, WHAT'LL WE DO-"

"Just let Shizuo grab Izaya's hand before Izaya's hand grabs Shizuo's butt." Kadota suggested.

"DOTACHIN!"

Blushing heavily, Shizuo felt his hand start to slide out of his pocket as well. No… can't… it'll… be the embarrassment of his life… gah… this was bad… he couldn't… all over… no-

Starting to drool, Izaya could feel his hand being pulled toward Shizuo's butt. No… must not… it'll… be the last mistake he'll ever make… not…worth… it… even though… it seems as it is… …oooh… ooh… ooh… ooh… SHIZU-CHAN BUTT…. MUST… HAVE-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Erika had resorted to shaking Walker like a ragdoll. "YUMACHI, PLEASE, DO SOMETHING-"

"OOOOH!" Walker suddenly pulled out a boomerang. "I'VE GOT IT!"

"H-HUH?"

"TH-THE HELL, YUMASAKI-SAN? WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU PULL THAT OUT-"

"GO, BOOMEANG!" Walker declared wildly, and, with a dramatic flick of his hand, sent the device whirling at Izaya and Shizuo.

"…fuck…" Shizuo swore softly, his hand reaching out for Izaya's.

"…shit…" Izaya cursed, his hand unable to resist the mouth-watering lure that was Shiziuo's butt-

_TWAAAAAANNNNG!_

Walker's boomerang went thudding Izaya's hand, causing the surprised informant to stumble and catch the next closest thing next to him.

Which… just happened to be….

Shizuo's blush doubled in shock before the face hastily twisted into a deep scowl.

Erika dropped to the ground, shocked. "Yu-Yumachi, y-"

Kadota sighed. "…really? Does this have to be that dramatic?"

Walker, however, threw his arms up in victory. "YES!"

By some crazy miracle, Izaya had caught Shizuo's hand instead.

"…"

His face flushed furiously, Shizuo stared firmly at the ground, a scowl on his face. Izaya blinked for several seconds before grinning widely. Leaning closer to the blond, Izaya pecked Shizuo's cheek softly.

One eye closed, the bodyguard winced noticeably. "Fl-flea…"

"Okay, Shizu-chan, let's go!" Izaya said cheerfully, grasping Shizuo's hand tighter.

Making a deal of pushing his sunglasses up so Izaya wouldn't see his smile, Shizuo nodded shakily. "Y-yeah…"

_In the bushes…._

"…okay, that was just way too unrealistic…" Kadota muttered.

"YAY!" Erika hugged Walker tightly. "YOU'RE THE ULTIMATE HERO, YUMACHI!"

"YES, I AM!" Walker yelled happily, sticking out his arm to expertly catch the boomerang that was twirling its way back to them.

Of course, since this is 'real life', and not 'anime', the boomerang ended up colliding rather painfully with Walker's face. _SMACK!_

"AAAAGH!"

"YEEEEK! OH MY GOD!"

"OWWWWW…"

"Oooh…"

* * *

Not aware that they had temporarily shaken off their… onlookers, Izaya and Shizuo continued to walk down the streets… still holding hands, of course.

"…"

"…"

Shizuo dug a finger into the collar of his bartender uniform uncomfortably. "U-um… hot morning, don't you think, flea?"

Izaya felt a drop of sweat roll down his cheek. "…Y-yeah…"

"…"

"…"

Both unconsciously tightened the sweaty grip of their hands.

"…"

Izaya suddenly halted.

"Fl-flea?" Shizuo asked in surprise, stopping as well.

The informant turned around slowly. "…say… Shizu-chan…"

"H-huh? What?"

_To be continued…_

_

* * *

_

**...sorry for being a jerk and leaving you with a cliffhanger... but... they did hold hands, didn't they? ^0^" Agh, epically failed on that part. Sorry... = ="**

**...but reviews do make my Monday! :D ...plus Tuesday, which is almost as bad as Monday, and the next Monday, too! ^^**


	11. First Date Part 2

**A/N: ...And... I failed yet again. I am so sorry. My sister came home from college, so, naturally, after over four months of not seeing her, I spent quite a bit of time hiding/running for my life lest I get killed for my "fashion" sense, or lack of. XD**

**

* * *

**

"…" Izaya shrugged. "I was just wondering… want to get something to drink?"

"…"

"A-ah, well, the machine is right there… so which one do you want?" The informant added awkwardly, pointing with his free hand to the vending machine on the street facing them. Surprisingly, it was one Shizuo hadn't destroyed yet.

"Oh…" Shizuo scratched his head awkwardly. "U-um, I… I'll just have water…"

Izaya smiled before squeezing his hand briefly and then letting go. "Okay. I'll be right back. Give me a sec." With that, the black-haired man hastily ran across the road.

Feeling nervous, Shizuo sat down on a nearby bench and watched Izaya's figure. Just drinks, huh? The blond stared at his left hand before hastily slapping himself. "Stupid!"

As soon as he reached the vending machine, Izaya lifted the hand that had been holding Shizuo's and rubbed it self-consciously. It… it really was feeling hot… He supposed he should get a drink too. Popping a coin into the device, Izaya pressed the button indicating water and waited for the bottle to roll out of the machine.

Once it did, he plucked the water out and put in another coin. As Izaya waited for the bottle to roll out, he contemplated the possible scenarios that could have taken place if Shizuo had asked for soda instead… for one, there was always the chance that the soda would fizz out and splatter over the blond's face… of course, being the _kind_, caring person he was, Izaya would _help_ Shizuo clean his face by-

It was definitely too hot…. Slightly dazed, the informant wiped the drool off his mouth.

Maybe… maybe drinking the water would help. Hastily unscrewing the tap with a light twist, Izaya took a tiny gulp of the water, immediately feeling better as the liquid soothed his hot throat. Swallowing, he bended down again to take out the other bottle from the vending machine…

Only to realize that the water bottle he was currently holding was the last water bottle in the vending machine.

"…" Hm. This was not something he had planned for… Izaya studied the water level in the plastic for several seconds before shrugging. Ah… Shizuo wouldn't notice the difference, would he?

With this thought in mind, the black-clad man walked back to his date. "Here, Shizu-chan." Izaya called out, tossing the bottle at the blond before sitting down beside him.

"A-ah, thanks!" Shizuo stuttered out, despite having caught the bottle perfectly. "…you're not going to drink anything too, flea?"

Grinning with a little _too_ much force, Izaya laughed. "Ahaha, I'm fine…" Shizuo… Shizuo wouldn't really notice, would he? …would he? Drinking from the same water bottle… didn't _really_ mean anything… there wasn't anything such as indirect kisses, after all…

Feeling Izaya's intense gaze on him, Shizuo blinked, confused. Why… was Izaya looking at Shizuo like that? …the flea didn't sneak anything into the water bottle, did he? The blond studied the water as suspiciously as he could, but couldn't exactly detect anything. It wasn't like he could just throw the water away, either…

Willing his eyes not to slide over to Izaya, Shizuo opened the bottle determinedly. No… Izaya… Izaya wouldn't do something like that on their first date, would he? …would he?

Shizuo gave a sigh before tilting the bottle to his lips.

Izaya felt his heart sped up. "…"

"…"

"…"

Shizuo paused and suddenly eyed the bottle strangely.

A lighting bolt crackled behind Izaya as the man turned white in horror. NOOOOOO SHIZUO NOTICED-

"…flea… this water…"

The blond turned to Izaya and… smiled. "…it tastes good. Thanks."

"…"

"…"

"Ah." Was all Izaya could say before falling straight off the bench, bumping his head in the process.

"I-IZAYA?"

* * *

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA I KNEW IT, IT'S AN INDIRECT KISS~~~!" Erika practically mimicked Izaya and crashed down onto the concrete, Walker catching her just in time.

"…" Kadota rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you would get so worked up over that… a kiss is a kiss and that… was not one. Either way…" The capped man turned his head doubtfully to the stack of water bottles behind them. "…how did you guys know that Shizuo would choose water and from _this_ certain vending machine in Ikebukuro?"

"We didn't!" Walker cheered happily as Erika pressed two water bottles to her cheeks in an attempt to cool down.

Kadota blinked at them several times. Wait… "…what? Hang on, what do you mean, you didn't kn-"

"OI!" Togusa's angry yell could be heard behind them. "WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ALL OF THIS JUICE AND SODA IN MY CAR, DAMN IT?"

"…you didn't."

"…"

* * *

"A-are you sure you're okay?" Shizuo asked shakily, his hand extended hesitantly toward Izaya's back.

"Ah, no, no, I'm fine…" Izaya said happily, his hand nimbly twisting around and snatching Shizuo's. "A-anyway, do you want to… do you want to go anywhere?"

The blond blinked. "Uh… no, not really… erm… how about we… uh…" Shizuo grimaced and suddenly became interested in the ground again. "…just… just walk around? I-is that okay?"

"…Sure."

* * *

"You can't just go and take out every single DAMN JUICE OR SODA OR WATER EXCEPT FOR ONE IN EVERY SINGLE _DAMN_ VENDING MACHINE IN IKEBUKURO!"

"…but Dotachin, we just did…" Erika said slowly, tilting her head innocently as she stacked the water bottles beside the soda cans.

"DAMN IT, I DON'T CARE IF YOU COULD DO IT OR NOT!" Togusa yelled, looking furious and pointing to his van. "BUT YOU CAN _NOT_ JUST PUT THEM ALL IN MY CAR!"

"HOW THE HECK DID YOU MANAGE TO GATHER THEM ANYWAY?" Kadota demanded, pointing at the vna as well.

"WHO CARES? THEY'RE ALL IN MY VAN!"

"Ahahaha, that is a secret, Kadota-san~!" Walker winked.

"SECRET? WHAT… NO, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! I WANT TO KNOW!"

"Ah, but you do, Kadota-san! The truth is that we have a hundred secret minions that did it last night!"

"WHAAAAAAT?"

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"S-so..." Shizuo scratched his face nervously. "…flea… you're… an informant?"

Izaya flashed him a grin. "Of course! How else would I able to know all about you?"

"U-ugh!" Reminded of previous incidents, the blond looked away, scowling. "…but… um… er… is it… is it fun?"

Izaya smiled and vaguely looked ahead. "…yeah, it is. What about you, Shizu-chan? Is being a bodyguard fun too?"

"Oh… well…" Shizuo's face softened sheepishly. "...I guess so. Right now… it's just good to… have a job… and… just… well, useful, you know?"

"…yes, I suppose so…" Izaya chuckled. "…"

Soon, a silence stretched over the two, and, surprisingly, it wasn't that much of an awkward silence… until…

"HEIWAJIMA… SHIZUO…" A ghastly voice ripped the peaceful morning air, causing both men to freeze up.

"H-huh?" Shizuo looked back, to see… a crowd of people with haunted looks on them.

"…what?" Izaya raised an eyebrow.

* * *

"EE-EEEEEEEEEH?" Togusa practically screamed.

Kadota stared at them for several seconds before crashing his head into the nearest flat surface. "TH… THIS… IS INSANE… JUST INSANE… a-all right, so where are the hidden cameras?"

"OH GAWD, IT'S SAIKA!" Erika and Walker both yelled in unison.

To their complete astonishment (or not), some of the crowd turned back to them indignantly. "We are NOT Saika! Do you see us having red eyes and carrying sharp objects?"

"THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?" Kadota demanded in a rather "un"calm manner.

"We're simply people who are obsessed with Heiwajima Shizuo. Who else?"

"…"

* * *

"Wh… who the hell…" Shizuo trailed off incredulously. "I… huh?"

"HEIWAJIMA… SHIZUO… NO ONE… CAN HAVE YOU… WE… MUST HAVE YOU…"

"Um…" Freaked out at what was happening, the blond took a hesitant step back as Izaya scowled dangerously, his knife flicking out at the same time. "Oh, I don't think so…"

Shizuo hastily grabbed Izaya's hand again. "W-wait a minute, Izaya… uh… let's not have a fight here… I… I really don't like violence, y-you know?"

The black-haired man glanced at Shizuo, the crowd, and then back.

"…"

"…"

"Okay, Shizu-chan…" Izaya muttered, flipping his knife back into his pocket and gripping the blond's hand. "Fine." Turning back to the crowd, he pointed a finger warningly. "You're lucky today! Since this is my date with Shizu-chan, I'll be merciful and let you all go! And now… LET'S RUN FOR OUR LIVES, SHIZU-CHAN!"

"H-HUH?"

With that, Izaya ran as fast through the streets as he could, pulling a startled Shizuo after him. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"RUN, IZAIZA, RUN!" Erika cheered as Walker clapped happily. "On a date with Orihara Izaya, how can you expect less?"

"Does this mean we can stop following them?" Kadota asked wearily from the background.

"H-hold on, fl-flea, where exactly are we going?" Shizuo blurted out, his hand feeling hot in Izaya's.

"To neverland!"

"WHAT?"

"Sorry, Shizu-chan, just had to say that! Away from these evil people!"

* * *

"Haa… haa… haa…" Shizuo and Izaya both worked to catch their breath as they sat back to back from each other, consciously aware of their hands touching.

"Haah… well, that was fun, wasn't it?" Izaya panted, looking over to the blond.

"Y-yeah, it was…" Shizuo muttered, his bangs swaying over his sunglasses.

"…well… what do you want to do now?"

"Erm…"

* * *

"ICE CREAM!" Erika squealed. "This will definitely result in another INDIRECT KISS! HURRAY!"

Kadota sighed. "I can't believe we're still doing this…"

"Well, no one's keeping you here, Kadota-san…" Walker pointed out. "Even though we are enjoying your company…"

"A-ah, that's…" Kadota turned around abruptly. "S-someone needs to make sure you two won't kill yourselves or more…"

Meanwhile, getting back to what was happening with Shizuo and Izaya, Shizuo was currently holding an ice cream cone, a dubious expression on his face.

"…how did I get persuaded into this again?" the blond groaned quietly as an arm hooked itself around his neck. "A-ah, flea-"

Craning his neck, Izaya stuck his tongue out, curling the muscle around the tip of the sugary treat, pulling back and licking his lips.

"…" Shizuo winced, his face bright red.

"Your turn, Shizu-chan~!"

"U-um, y-yeah…" The bodyguard bent his head down hesitantly, praying that none of the ice cream would end up on his face.

_Meanwhile…_

Erika pulled back the string of her bow, an evil grin on her face. "ALL RIGHT! IT'S MY TURN NOW!"

"Shizuo, I am so sorry, I have failed you as a friend…" Kadota muttered, his head in his hands.

"Hmm…" Walker scratched his head. "How are you going to get that to work, Karisawa?"

"Just watch, just watch!" The otaku chuckled evilly. With a deadly twang, the arrow sailed through the air… and landed in a bush.

"…"

"…"

Kadota blinked. "Uh… that didn't land anywhere near Shizuo or Izaya."

Not the least bit discouraged, Erika put down her bow, still beaming. "Just watch, Dotachin!"

The arrow's landing startled a nearby stray cat.

The cat immediately jumped and sank its claws in the head of an unfortunate passerby, who stumbled and bumped into a tree. You wouldn't know from first sight, but the tree was, in fact, very old, and not at its strongest.

So, naturally, the tree fell on the street, right in front of the path of a bicycle deliverer. The poor deliverer was, in fact, delivering oranges.

The oranges spread across the street, and another poor man walking around tripped on them.

An orange flew out from his foot, and smacked… _another _man in the head. _That_ man stumbled from the impact and bumped into Shizuo's back, causing the blond to temporarily lose his balance as well.

Of course, this all took less than a second.

"…"

"…"

"…what the fuck?" Togusa said bluntly as Erika did a victory dance with her bow.

"Agh!" Shizuo yelped as the right half of his face collided the ice cream. "Ah, dang…" The blond started to dig around in his pocket for a napkin or something until he remembered just _who_ was clinging to his neck.

"…"

"…"

_Slowly_, the brown eyes slid from the ice cream to Izaya's face. "…" Immediately, Shizuo had to struggle not to scream right then and there.

"EHEHEHEHEHEHE…" Izaya was practically drooling as his hand captured Shizuo's face, preventing any escape. Forget the soda, THIS WAS HEAVEN…

"I-I-I-I-I-Izaya, c-come on…" Shizuo stuttered helplessly, his right eye instinctively squeezing shut. "L-let me just get a goddamn napkin… n-nngh…" The rest of his protest faded away as Izaya continued to greedily lap up the ice cream on his face in slow, deep licks. He… could get used to this.

"D-damn it, flea, y-you're supposed to e-eat the ic-ice cream, n-not me!" The blond hissed in rage and embarrassment as Izaya's ministrations continued.

The tongue paused. "…but Shizu-chan, I _am_ eating the ice cream…" The informant chuckled before catching a drop of vanilla that was sliding down Shizuo's chin. From now on, Izaya resolved to only eat ice cream "Shizu-chan"style….

Shizuo gritted his teeth, almost destroying the ice cream cone in his fist. "F-fine, then! If you're not gonna eat the rest of this, then it's your own damn loss!" With that, Shizuo hastily lifted the ice cream, cramming the rest of it firmly into his mouth. "Mmf!"

"Eh… oi!" Izaya cried in indignation, grabbing Shizuo's left hand. "Shi-Shizu-chan! Don't hog it all!"

His mouth still full of the ice cream, Shizuo quickly wiped his hand on his pants. " 'ats 'ut uu 'et ah 'ot atin' eet 'n u 'ad ah 'hansuu, 'ea! 'ides, uu 'ahheddy 'ad 'um! (that's what you get for not eating it when you had the chance, flea! Besides, you already had some!)" The blond swallowed thickly before sighing in satisfaction. "Mmm, that was good…"

His arms still resting on Shizuo's, Izaya pouted. "Shizu-chan, I demand that you give my ice cream back."

"Pfft…" Shizuo snorted as he adjusted his sunglasses. "Just try it, flea."

"…" An uneasy silence settled as the potential meaning behind the three recently uttered words sunk in.

"…"

"…"

Shizuo quickly broke away from Izaya, fiddling with his sunglasses and doing his best not to blush. "U-uh, th-that..."

"…"

His face suddenly serious, Izaya took a step toward the blond. "Shiz-"

"Th-that offer only lasted three seconds. R-right now, it's expired!" Shizuo yelled out, crossing his arms stubbornly.

Before Izaya could say anything to contradict that statement, both men froze once again as a shout ran out.

"HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The Shizuo-fans had caught up with them.

"WAGH!" Shizuo and Izaya yelled instantly.

"AGH, YOU'RE KIDDING ME!" Kadota groaned as Erika growled. "WHY THOSE…"

Thinking fast, Izaya whipped out his knife and slashed at a nearby telephone pole. Instantly, the telephone pole crashed down in front of them, blocking the crowd and probably causing a thousand or so people to lose power in their homes.

**BOOOOOOM!**

"FL-FLEA?" Shizuo stammered incredulously as Izaya snatched his hand. "Come on, Shizu-chan! Into the nearest building!"

"WAH!" The informant pulled the bodyguard behind him, only to realize that…

"…"

Shizuo's eye began to twitch at the familiar surroundings. "I-Izaya-"

Red eyes swelled in hunger as the scent of ootoro filled Izaya's nose. "…mm… ootoro…"

"I-I-I-IZAYA, I AM NOT EATING IN HERE!" Shizuo hissed, not caring that he sounded like some bickering wife.

Izaya drooled hopefully. "B-but, come on, Shizu-chan, it looks like Simon is out delivering again…. Eehhhhh…"

Shizuo blinked at the face Izaya was making, feeling the blood rush to his own. "…N-no, I won't-"

"Oh, you're Izaya-san, aren't you?" One of the workers asked cheerfully. "Here, have this!" A container smelling of ootoro was offered to the fur-coated man. "Simon wanted you to have this in case you stopped by."

"Ah, really?" Izaya said, eagerly accepting it as Shizuo seemed to shrink in a ball. "Th-then, give him my thanks-"

The door behind them clattered open again. "Shizuo, Izaya!"

The blond felt a shiver of horror up his spine. Oh nooooooooooo…

Simon clapped his now free hands eagerly. "I knew you two would come! Shizuo, you need to order something too, then!"

"N-NO, I DO NOT!" Shizuo roared, startling the customers who weren't already shaken by their entrance. "G-GO AWAY, SIMON!"

"Shi-Shizu-chan, Simon works here…" Izaya attempted feebly, holding his ootoro in his free hand.

"GAAAAAAAH! DAMN IT, FLEA, WE'RE OUT OF HERE!" The blond yelled, dragging Izaya with him as he bolted from the restaurant.

Despite his colleagues' protests, Simon started after them. "But Shizuo, you must order something too! Sushi is good for a date-"

"STOP IT! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

And so, for several hours, the citizens of Ikebukuro were entertained by the sight of Heiwajima Shizuo running and pulling Orihara Izaya behind him, closely followed by the tout Simon of Russian Sushi, with the Shizuo-fan crowd and the van gang brining up the rear.

* * *

_While this was going on…._

Celty's bike sped across the streets, expertly maneuvering around the innumerable vehicles driving in Tokyo. After helping Shizuo with his dilemma, the dullahan had gone on a delivery and was currently returning home, mission accomplished.

…_I hope Shizuo's having fun on his date… _Celty thought to herself, gripping the handlebars of her bike.

No sooner had the thought passed when a certain blond in a bartender suit practically flew over the cars, along with a black-haired informant in a fur coat. A few seconds afterward, they were followed by a tout, a crowd of random people, and a rather beat-up van.

"…"

"…"

Like all other drivers, Celty paused, torn between considering a CAT scan or simply a short nap.

However, the motorbike was soon zooming ahead as it originally was, its path a little more sloppy and unfocused, though….

…_I… didn't see anything. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't…_

* * *

"Haa… haa… haa… haa… haa… aah…" Shizuo slumped against the tree trunk, slipping his sunglasses in his pocket.

Beside him, Izaya shook the contents of the small container hopefully. "…hm, I think the ootoro is good after all…"

"A-ah, sorry!" The blond apologized hastily, feeling guilty. "You didn't get a chance to eat your tuna belly until now…"

"Heh, it's fine, Shizu-chan, it's fine…" Izaya chuckled, pulling open the container. "Getting to finally run with you instead of trying to run after you was worth it…"

"…"

"Anyway…" The informant continued, picking up a piece of ootoro with his fingers. "…here!" Shizuo jumped as the slice of fish belly was shoved in his face.

"H-HUH?"

"Come on, open wide, Shizu-chan! After all, you didn't order anything, did you?"

"A-ah…" Shizuo hastily his head turned around, shielding his mouth protectively with one hand. "I-I'm fine! I… I'm already full from the ice cream! It's your food, after all!"

Frowning, Izaya ate the piece himself, but remained undiscouraged. "I know you need more food than that to keep your energy up, Shizu-chan… have some."

Blushing, the blond hesitantly extended a hand toward the carton, only to have it snatched up by Izaya again.

"Ah, ah, ah, Shizu-chan!" The black-haired man tsked, winking. "You have to let me feed you first!"

"I… I can feed myself, flea!" Shizuo fumed indignantly, glaring at Izaya. "B-besides, you… you don't even have chopsticks!"

Izaya's eyes lit up eagerly. "Are you saying you'd allow me if I did have chopsticks, Shizu-chan?"

"N-NO!"

Taking out his knife once again, Izaya cut a branch from the tree above them. How his swing could reach that far, no one really knew…

"F-flea, what the heck are you doing?" Shizuo demanded incredulously as Izaya began to carve two sticks out of the wood.

"Making chopsticks to feed you, Shizu-chan, what else?"

"Wh-what? Th-that's stupid! Cut it out! Like I said, I can feed _myself_!"

"But I want to feed you…"

"I don't care! Just let me have some of your food!"

* * *

"W-wow, I can't believe it's evening already…" Shizuo murmured, flipping his phone closed.

"Time sure flies fast." Izaya agreed, clasping the blond's hand tighter. "…so…" He kicked a stone in his path. "…anywhere else you want to go?"

"No…" After a slight pause, Shizuo spoke up again. "…Izaya, where do you like to be at night?"

Izaya cocked an eyebrow. "In Ikebukuro?" The informant's face twisted into a grin.

"Wha?" Shizuo blurted out in surprise as he felt himself being pulled in a sudden direction.

"Come on, Shizu-chan."

A few minutes later, Izaya was leading him up the stairs of a building. "...here." Izaya answered as he finally paused, having reached the roof.

Shizuo's eyes widened at the view of the city in front of him. "...ah..." The blond found himself gripping the railing as he gazed across the lights. He didn't see Ikebukuro from this angle often, usually roaming the streets from the ground instead. It... really was pretty.

Immediately, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist as Izaya buried his face in the crook of Shizuo's neck.

"...so, Shizu-chan..." The voice rather seemed loud in the quiet air. "...did you have fun?"

"...uh..." Shizuo frowned as he reflected the day's events. "..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

After a long pause, the blond turned back to Izaya and smiled. "Yeah, I guess I did..."

"Really?" Izaya asked eagerly, his face the picture of ecstasy. "Honestly, Shizu-chan? You did? Aaaaaaah..." Looking dazed, the informant twirled from behind Shizuo and leaned back teasingly across the railing. "I think I can die happy now..."

"FLEA!" Shizuo yelled in a mixture of hysteria and alarm, reaching out to grab Izaya's shoulders. "STUPID-"

In an instant, Izaya had his arms around Shizuo, his face nuzzling in the blond hair. "Just kidding, Shizu-chan. I have all the reasons not to..." The red-eyed gaze flickered downward. "...unlike some..."

"Huh?" Shizuo asked, poking his head around Izaya. Izaya tried to push the blond back, but it was too late.

"A-ah..." The blond sighed as he spotted the dark stain, far away on the ground. "G-great way to ruin the mood, flea..."

"Heh... sorry, Shizu-chan..." Black hair meshed with yellow as Izaya pressed their foreheads together.

"...Iza-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" An earth-shattering wail caused both to freeze yet again. "NOOOOOOOOOOO! SHIZUOOOOOOOOOOO!" Unfortunately, the Shizuo-fan crowd had appeared yet again, and were all crowding around the building.

"Gah, fuck, really?" Shizuo swore in frustration as flames of rage burst beneath Izaya's eyes. "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... why those-"

"OH NO, YOU DON'T!" To further incredulity, Erika appeared out of nowhere, wielding a hammer in each hand. "YOU! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU HAS BEEN PICKING A FIGHT WITH ME SINCE THIS MORNING, AND NOW YOU HAVE CROSSED THE LINE AND MUST SUFFER MY WRATH!" And, without saying, the girl began to send people flying, Walker and Togusa following her.

"Wh-what?" Shizuo managed to stutter out.

"Karisawa-sa-"

"Izaya! Shizuo!" Both heads whirled around to see Kadota calling from the van.

"Eh? Dotachin?"

"Come on, get down from there and go that way!" Kadota motioned frantically, ignoring the use of his hated nickname for once. "We'll hold them off!"

"We... we better get down there, Shizu-chan..." Izaya muttered, a depressed cloud hanging over his head.

"Y-yeah..." The two hastily clambered down, Kadota rushing to meet them.

Izaya raised an eyebrow at him suspiciously. "Dotachin, you weren't following us the whole time, were you?"

"Ah, of course not!" Walker cried out from behind. "W-we were attracted by the yelling of this crowd, of course!"

"...oh, really?" The informant replied, obviously not convinced.

Shizuo gritted his teeth. "I-Izaya, let's just go!"

"...oh, right..."

* * *

_A few minutes later..._

"Well... I suppose this is where we say goodbye, Shizu-chan..." Izaya said as he walked Shizuo back to his house.

"...yeah..." Shizuo stuck his hands in his pockets, unsure of what to say.

"I enjoyed spending the day with you..."

"M-me too..."

The silence between them grew until Izaya finally interrupted it.

"Can... I kiss you now?"

_Thump! _Shizuo's face went bright red in seconds at the words, his heart thumping wildly. "A-ah..."

"Is that a yes?" Izaya said eagerly, closing the space between them.

"N-no!" The blond cried out before he could help it. "W-wait... n-no... I-I mean... u-um... um..."

"..."

"..."

"...Shizu-chan?" Izaya whispered, catching Shizuo's chin.

"..." Grimacing, Shizuo averted his eyes to the ground. "F-f-f-f-fine, fl-flea..."

Smirking, the black-haired man placed his other arm around Shizuo's waist. "...close your eyes, then." His crush grudgingly obeyed, moving his hands to Izaya's shoulders.

"..." Watching Shizuo with his eyes closed and hesitantly puckered mouth, the smirk on Izaya's face faded to a small smile. Crimson eyes slid shut as their owner moved his head closer, his lips hovering before Shizuo's.

As their breath mingled, briefly, for a second, all thoughts of their first encounter to now flashed in their minds.

And then they kissed, Shizuo's breath hitching as the blush on his face grew, Izaya's heart racing in exhilaration as he closed down on his prize.

For a few seconds, the two remained there, the kiss soft and innocent. But then, the soft presses of their mouths turned suddenly grew hot, and before either knew it, Izaya was attacking Shizuo's mouth with his, gripping the blond hair, and Shizuo was responding with just as much, if not more, aggression, his hands clasped tightly around the pale neck. HIs grip soon moved up to the black hair as Izaya's tongue began to plunge greedily into the blond's mouth, tenderly massaging the walls of the warm cavern before wrapping around Shizuo's own muscle.

"M-mm... haa..." Heated noises began to escape from the former bartender as he found himself being pressed up against a wall, the kiss still hot and messy as lips and tongues and teeth clashed together almost violently.

This was heaven. It was all Izaya could think as he plundered his, yes, _his_ new territory, abusing it, soothing it, his pulse racing, his hands clenching Shizuo. Right now, right here, it was all that mattered, and nothing could keep him from ravishing the blond's mouth again and again and again...

Shizuo couldn't help but let another muffled groan escape as Izaya continued to kiss him deeply, pale fingers combing through his hair. "A-ah..." He pressed back against Izaya desperately, needing more of the warm mouth that invaded his.

It seemed like an eternity, but their air supply had to run out at some point, and so they separated, panting heavily than any other time that day. After a few seconds, Izaya gave Shizuo another rough, brief kiss on the lips, pulling back and staring deep into the blond's eyes.

"...so..." The informant wickedly licked his lips again. "...does that mean we can go on another date?"

Shizuo wiped Izaya's spit off of his chin before seizing a handful of the fur coat. "G-get back here, flea!" And so, Izaya, being more than happy to comply, ensued another make out session, capturing Shizuo's lips passionately.

"Aaaah..."

For the second time, Izaya drew back reluctantly, lapping up the salvia that had been connecting their mouths. "I... I should go..." He mumbled, still holding Shizuo. "Y-yeah, you should..." The blond agreed in a daze before yanking him back in another heated kiss, and soon, their tongues were battling once again, Izaya's hands strongly tempted to wander over Shizuo's body.

"Mmf... Iz-Izaya..." This time, it was Shizuo who dropped his head. "Ah... I... I... need to go."

Izaya loosened his grip on him, panting. "Y-yeah... I'll see... you around then?"

"Y-yeah..." The blond echoed, his face flushed with clothes wrinkled, looking like a complete mess. Shakily, he opened his door, looking back at Izaya once before closing it softly.

"..." The informant stood stupidly in front of the apartment, a blank look on his face. Then... a huge grin appeared at alarming speed as Izaya raced down the streets. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"

And with that, Heiwajima Shizuo was no longer single.

* * *

**That kiss scene just failed. I'm sorry. How my thinking process could desert me at a time like this, I don't know. Please forgive me. T T Ah, but this is not the last chapter... just... to let you all know...**


	12. Dreams and Owls

**A/N: ...you people who review are so awesome. ^^ You make me feel so happy. I hope everyone had a nice Christmas or whatever they celebrate! :D**

**Whoa, long chapter. Sorry about that... Oh, and I did think of stopping this story and starting a new one, since, obviously, Izaya and Shizuo are already going out, but when you think about it, Shizuo still has problems, so... yeah. X) I wouldn't know of a title for that, anyway... "Why Can't I Just Be... A Virgin"? XD Sounds too M-rated... not really the focus, of the story too... = =" Well, I fail at titles either way... I should stop rambling on here... **

**WARNING: Mentions of sex... Izaya has some... dreams... and also... some ranting in a chatroom about... stuff... and... kisses, gropes, all that good stuff that's still T-rated. ^^"**

**

* * *

**

Shizuo closed the door softly behind him. As soon as the tell tale click sound reached his ears, the blond slowly eased off his right shoe. After that came the left shoe.

_Plop. Plop._ Sighing deeply, Shizuo practically crashed down onto a random chair, his mouth still tingling from the kiss…es.

"Aw, shit." He murmured, lying his head down on the table. For a few seconds, Shizuo lay there, his cheek squashed against the wooden surface with his neck twisted at an odd angle. Then, against the table Izaya had given him, the blond gave a small smile.

He had to admit it. Izaya was a damn good kisser.

* * *

"_H-huh?" Blinking his eyes wearily, Izaya lifted his head from his desk. Realizing he had dozed off, the informant frowned in slight disgust at the small pool of drool he had made, thankful, though, that it hadn't been on his computer. _

_What Izaya saw in front of his desk, however, completely eliminated all thoughts of his computer._

_Dressed in a **maid** outfit, a flustered Shizuo looked at the ground hesitantly, his fingers fumbling with the short skirt that ended __**just**__ after his butt. "I-I… I-Izaya…" The blond whispered shyly, eyes darting up furtively to meet his._

"…" _Izaya's jaw dropped open as blood rushed to his face as well as__… to_ other areas. The black-haired man literally fell frozen out of his seat, blood threatening to erupt out of his nose. "A… gah…" Izaya managed to sputter before crashing down hard on the floor.

_**BANG!**__ The impact of his head on the hard surface actually caused a breeze to ruffle through the room. _

"_A-aah!" Shizuo actually squealed, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to keep his skirt down._

_OH SHIT. Was all that could go through Izaya's mind as he desperately clutched his nose. _

"_O-oh!" Sounding panicked, Shizuo knelt down and took Izaya's face in his hands. "I-Izaya, a-are you okay-"_

_The informant's eyes bulged as he took in the teary, flushed face in front of him as the smooth hands framed his cheeks worriedly. It was just too much for his blood to handle. _

_Quickly backing away from Shizuo, Izaya covered his nose again, his voice coming out rather muffled. "Shi-Shizu-chan, wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-whaaaaa?" Normally, Orihara Izaya was not one to stutter. But this… was definitely a major exception._

"_Ah…" Folding his gloved hands and placing them on his bare knees, maid Shizuo l__ooked at the ground bashfully. "G… g… g-good morning…" His cheeks turning redder, Shizuo glanced up to Izaya once again. "I-Izaya… s-sama…"_

"…" _POW. All Izaya could do was clap his other hand to his nose._

"_Agh…" Blushing furiously, the blond turned his head away cutely. "D-don't… l-laugh…"_

_The red eyes widened. Did Shizuo think he was trying to hold back his laughter? Izaya hastily let go of his face, relieved to find his palms clean of blood. Realizing his control of the unexpected scenario, the informant smirked coyly at Shizuo, a hand coming up to tilt the blond's chin._

"_Truly, Shizu-chan, laughing at you is the last thing on my mind right now…" Izaya whispered, making Shizuo blink in surprise. It was so utterly adorable. _

"_R-really?" Shizuo asked hopefully, his hand inching closer to Izaya's. The informant nodded slowly, wicked thoughts now running in his mind. "Really, Shizu-chan… however…" Izaya greedily cupped Shizuo's ass through the maid skirt, causing the blond to yelp in surprise. "A-aah~~" _

_His hands already sneaking under Shizuo's skirt, Izaya leaned over to bite Shizuo's reddened earlobe before breathing into it slyly. "Izaya-__**sama**__ is going to have to punish you for being too cute, Shizu-chan… Ehehehehehe…"_

"_N-nngh, o-oh, pl-please, Izaya-sama-"_

_

* * *

_

"H-huh?" Blinking his eyes wearily, Izaya lifted his head from his desk. Realizing he had dozed off, the informant frowned in slight disgust at the small pool of drool he had made, thankful, though, that it hadn't been on his computer.

By this point, however, the informant's dream caught up to him, and he looked eagerly across his desk to see…

Nothing.

Extremely sullen, Izaya flopped his head back down and gave a weak punch to the desk. "Nooooooooooooooooo…"

Upstairs, Namie rolled her eyes briefly before putting a book back. "Honestly… If you're only going to have wet dreams, then you should just go home!"

* * *

"I see." Kasuka replied after Shizuo had told him a… _summary_ of his date. "Well, that's good…"

"Yeah…" Shizuo muttered back, gazing up at his ceiling.

"…"

"…"

"You… didn't have…" The younger brother let his sentence trail off meaningfully.

"WH-WHAAAAT?" The blond wheezed out, almost choking on his own breath. "N-NOOOO! We… we did not! W-w-w-w-w-w-we… j-just k-ki-ki… k-kissed…" Shizuo could feel his whole face heating up.

"…sorry for bringing that up. Then… I guess you did find someone…"

Shizuo moved his hand to his face awkwardly. "I… I guess I… did… in… a way…"

"I'll be meeting him the next time I get to stop by in Ikebukuro again, right?"

Shizuo blinked, his embarrassment temporarily forgotten. "Oh… I… I guess so…" He hadn't really thought introducing Izaya to other people in his life as a problem, since, well, almost all of his friends in Ikebukuro already _knew_ Izaya… how could he have forgotten about Kasuka?

Not seeming to sense anything wrong, Kasuka replied in his usual tone of voice. "I'm looking forward to it."

"M-me too…" Shizuo agreed, lying through his teeth. "I'm sure you guys will be able to get along fine…" Already he could picture the potential disastrous scenarios in his head. His little brother's response did little to help.

"…He was the one who caused you to wear pink in order to get rid of…"

"…"

"…well, I'll talk to you later, Nii-san."

"O-okay… ah, and if anything bad happens, you call me, u-understand?"

"Yes, yes, if I am kidnapped by ransomers, rapists, or gangs, I'll have them call you first. Bye."

"…" Shizuo flipped his phone shut, a cloud of doom floating on his head. "…" Everything would be fine if he just went on a date with Izaya, huh? LIES… His troubles… were far from over. VERY FAR…

* * *

On the other hand, Shizuo was now back at work, so perhaps he could take his frustration out on any gamblers or other citizens in heavy debt…

"So, Tom-san, how have you been? …I-I mean, how was your mother?" The blond asked awkwardly as he followed the debt collector through the streets.

"Ah, it was fine, fine…" Tom assured, walking at a casual pace. "She… was good…"

"Oh…"

Fortunately, it was actually a good day. People actually paid up their debts and did not put up a fuss. Tom and Shizuo finished early, and ended up having some small talk, a certain _flea_ not coming up at all.

They were both having a smoke against one of the buildings when… IT happened…

"Er… Shizuo…" Tom started awkwardly, before taking a drag from his cigarette. "…um… what did happen with that guy called Ori-"

"SHIZU-CHAN!" Out of nowhere, Shizuo was suddenly tackled by Izaya, his cigarette tumbling out of his hand as they landed in an awkward heap in front of Tom.

"WHA… WHAT… HUH… FLEA! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING-" Shizuo sputtered out as he tried to get away from Izaya.

Pouting, Izaya wrapped his arms around Shizuo's waist and leaned his chin on the blond's shoulder. "I can't believe you, Shizu-chan! Right after our first date, I see you hanging around another man? I'm _your_ boyfriend, after al!"

"THE HELL, FLEA, I'M _WORKING _RIGHT NOW! GO AWAY!" The bodyguard yelled, his face a violent red as he squirmed vainly in Izaya's grasp.

"Lies, Shizu-chan, LIES!" A devilish grin formed on Izaya's lips. "This means punishment… ehehehe…" A ringed hand snuck stealthily down to Shizuo's butt.

"E-eep!"

"Mmm, mine…"

"I-IZAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Meanwhile, Tom was staring at them, utterly perplexed. Shizu-chan? Date? Boyfriend? _Punishment_? WHAT?

Luckily, an arm reached out and pulled Tom out of the scene, leaving Shizuo and Izaya to themselves…

"Wh-what the hell?" Tom managed to yell out before Erika and Walker popped out on either side of him.

"Good work!"

"I have to admit, that was some pretty sly planning there, Tanaka-san…"

"H-huh? What?" The poor Tom asked, bewildered. Fortunately, Kadota was there to save him.

"Ah, don't worry, they're just a couple of idiots." The man muttered. "Though, how did you do it?"

"…" Tom blinked through his glasses. "…do… what?"

Kadota glanced at him. "Your timing, I mean. You leave where Shizuo is about to murder Izaya, and when you come back, it's at the same time where they're… going out…"

"…are you serious?" Tom gawked. "They're… actually dating? What else happened while I was gone?"

"…nothing much…"

"…"

Both men glanced out to where Shizuo was apparently struggling with all he could to escape from Izaya, but on closer inspection, the blond was blushing heavily as the informant nuzzled into his hair.

"…"

Tom shrugged. "Well, I can assure you honestly that that was not done on purpose… I am happy for him, though. It was kind of obvious from the start that Shizuo liked him…"

Kadota looked thoughtfully up to the sky. "Obvious, huh…"

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

"O-OH COME ON, FLEA!" Shizuo yelled. "Y-you knew that Tom-san was my employer, didn't you?"

Izaya simply buried his face in Shizuo's hair, delighting in the scent of the blond locks. "Mmmm... yes, I do know, but I have to make sure people know that you are mine…"

Putting his sunglasses away before they could come to any harm, Shizuo rolled his eyes. "What am I, your possession?" He was slightly surprised as Izaya whirled him around, looking at him with serious red eyes.

"I… Izaya?"

The informant leaned over and kissed Shizuo's cheek gently. "You're far too valuable to be a possession, Shizu-chan…"

"…" The blond flushed deeply, mentally slapping himself for letting his heart race at a cliché line such as that. "I… I need to get back to work…" Shizuo muttered, turning his face sideward stubbornly. "…you need to get back to work, too, don't you?"

"…" Izaya's sullen silence confirmed Shizuo's suspicions. The blond didn't know whether to sigh or chuckle. "…flea… hey, let go… I'll talk to you later…"

"It's not fair…" Izaya muttered before reaching for Shizuo's hand and rubbing it. "I just want to stay with you… fine, Shizu-chan, then give me a kiss!" The informant declared before puckering his lips and leaning close to the bodyguard's face.

"WH-WHAT?" Poor Shizuo shouted in alarm, trying to move away. "Izaya, it's… it's broad daylight! And… and in public too! AGAIN!"

"Oooooh…" Izaya grabbed Shizuo's cheek, forcing the blond to remain as he was. "What is that supposed to imply, Shizu-chan? So soon already?"

"WHA…. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THAT… I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE _THAT_!"

"Ahahaha, so you _were_ having those kind of thoughts, Shizu-chan…" Izaya moved closer, almost touching Shizuo's lips. "What a _naughty_ boy…"

"GA-GAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Shizuo hastily kissed Izaya clumsily before pulling back and running away. "TH-THERE'S YOUR GODDAMN KISS, FLEA! NOW… GO AND LEAVE ME ALONE, ALL RIGHT?"

"…" A dazed Izaya stared after him for several seconds before putting a hand to his lips. "…Awwwwwww…"

* * *

When Shizuo returned to Tom, awkwardness was probably the only word that could describe such an atmosphere.

"…so."

"…Tom-san… just… don't… say… anything…"

"Okay, I won't."

"Thank you."

* * *

_Tanaka Taro is now online._

**Tanaka Taro: ** Good evening!

**Setton: **Ah, hi.

**Tanaka Taro: **Hello, Setton-san. Huh… Kanra-san isn't here again? He's hasn't been on here lately…

**Setton: **No… I suppose he's just been busy-

_Kanra is now online._

**Setton: **Oh, never mind. Evening, Kanra-san.

**Tanaka Taro: **Welcome back, Kanra-san!

**Kanra: **I love him.

**Tanaka Taro: **H-huh?

**Tanaka Taro: **Who? What are you talking about, Kanra-san?

**Setton: **Kanra-san?

**Kanra**: I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him…

**Kanra: **I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him…

**Tanaka Taro: **…what? 0 Д 0'

**Tanaka Taro: **K-Kanra-san, are you all right?

**Setton:** …This is bad.

**Kanra: **I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him,

**Kanra: **I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him…

**Setton: **KANRA-SAN! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER! YOU'RE… YOU'RE ACTING LIKE… LIKE…

**Kanra: **I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him… I love him so much.

**Tanaka Taro: **…Setton-san, should we ban him?

**Setton: **This is his own chatroom, we can't ban him!

**Kanra: **I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him…

**Tanaka Taro: **AAAAAAAAAGH! Th-this is really bad… Is that really you, Kanra-san? Kanra-san, please answer!

**Kanra:** I love him so, so, so, so, so, so much….

**Kanra: **He is so fucking cute…

**Setton: **Ah…

**Tanaka Taro: **…Setton-san, what should we do?

**Setton:** Ah, well, you know how Kanra-san is… maybe he'll snap out of it-

**Kanra: **I want to ******* him and **** his **** and ****** my **** in his ****** ****** ****** ***

**Tanaka Taro: **…

…HUH? · Д ·

**Setton: **KANRA-SAN!

**Kanra: **And **** his ****** and make him ****** and *************** ********** *********** I ****************** and ***********

**Tanaka Taro: **0Д 0 OH MY GOD! K-Kanra-san! What…. PLEASE STOP!

**Setton: **Kanra-san, you have to stop! At this rate, you'll get banned from your own chatroom! S-stop using that language! W-we get it! You… really… like this person…

**Kanra**: ******** I ****** his ******* make him ********** love ************ *********

**Tanaka Taro: **…u-uh…. · Д · '

**Setton: **Well, that's cool, then. If you can, can you get some sample of his *** for me? Oh, and I also wouldn't mind ;LFDAJLDSKFA

**Tanaka Taro: **SETTON-SAN! NOT YOU TOO? 0 Д 0'

**Kanra: **And ******* his ******** I ********

**Setton: **;laflads adsfljakdfsm[opweUIKSFJGHFD

**Tanaka Taro: **Setton-san?

**Setton: **FALDKFJALD;KFJAL;DSFJ ;ADS;KLADFS

**Tanaka Taro: **SETTON-SAN? 0 Д 0'

**Kanra: ********* and his ***** I want **** he'll ******

**Setton: **I apologize for that. THAT RIGHT NOW WAS **NOT** ME.

**Tanaka Taro: **Oh, good, I thought so.

**Kanra: ** Make him ************* punish ********** him ********** his ******* and ***** and ******* is ***** mine

**Tanaka Taro: **…I… I think I should go-

**Setton: **KANRA-SAN! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!

**Kanra: **…I love him… a lot…

**Tanaka Taro: **…

**Setton: **…

**Kanra: **EHEHEHEHEHEHEHE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

_Kanra is now offline._

**Tanaka Taro: **…

**Setton:** …

_Tanaka Taro is now idle._

_Setton is now idle._

**Tanaka Taro: **w-well, that was an interesting experience…

**Setton: **…sure. Hopefully, Kanra-san… is back to his normal self…

**Tanaka Taro: **…I… suppose Kanra-san is a… male after all…

**Setton: **Yeah.

**Tanaka Taro: **A-ah, I'm not judging! He's perfectly at liberty to like who he wants to!

**Setton: **Yeah.

* * *

"So… you didn't do… _it_, then?" Tom asked tentatively as they walked across the streets.

Somehow, one way or another, they had gotten to discussing Shizuo's… new relationship.

"…no." Shizuo muttered darkly, shoving his hands deeper in his pockets. "We… we just… ki… kissed, that's all." He added, blushing. The talk about… sex was beginning to worry Shizuo. This was the second time someone had brought it up, but Shizuo couldn't even talk about _kissing_ Izaya without blushing like crazy.

"…"

"…"

They continued to trudge in silence.

Finally, the bodyguard couldn't take it anymore. "Tom-san… if there's anything you want to ask me… you… might as well say it… since… yeah."

"…"

"…"

"…well… Have you even thought about… doing it with him?" The debt collector offered awkwardly after a huge silence.

"…Not really. I mean… s…" Shizuo took a deep breath. "…sex isn't the only thing in a relationship, r-right?"

"Yeah, of course, of course…"

"…" While it was silent, Shizuo mulled over what Izaya had said to him earlier that day. _"Ahahaha, so you __**were**__ having those kind of thoughts, Shizu-chan… What a __**naughty**__ boy…" _

"…" Once more, Shizuo thought about Kasuka. If that was how Izaya was going to act around Tom… how…. Was he going to act around Kasuka?

After several minutes of deep… thought, Shizuo decided he didn't want to know.

* * *

Shizuo bit his lip. Even though he had problems, there was absolutely one thing he had to do about Izaya, no matter what painful consequence would befall him. What taboo thing was Shizuo about to do?

Change the flea's goddamn entry in his phone!

Hunched on his couch and feeling like a criminal, Shizuo flipped his phone open and clicked on Izaya's entry. There was no way in hell that Izaya's number could be "My Seme". Shizuo would rather burn his phone or stick it up his ass. All right, maybe not the second one, but still. And since they were already going out, Izaya would have no need to actually check if his contact name was the same, would he?

Furtively clicking on the "Edit Entry" option, the blond hastily _erased_ the name there, and was already typing in "flea" instead when he paused, feeling a little guilty.

Despite everything that Izaya did… he didn't really deserve… to be called flea, did he? Blushing, Shizuo erased that as well. Then… he should at least just put "Izaya", right?

But… that also sounded… Shizuo sighed, starting to type into the phone.

_KNOCK KNOCK! _The unexpected pounding at his door had the bodyguard almost dropping his phone in shock. "SHIZU-CHAAAAAAAAAAN~! IT'S MEEEEEEEEE!"

"AH, HELL NO!" Shizuo yelled back before falling on his butt.

Izaya skipped inside his building happily. "Good morning~! I missed you so much- oh?" He raised an eyebrow at Shizuo's guilty expression along with the phone. "…Shizu-chan, what have you been doing?"

"N-nothing, flea!" The blond spat out, his hands tightening around the phone. "I just-" Before he could blink, the phone was no longer in his hands. "Wha-"

Izaya studied the phone's screen before flipping it shut, gazing at Shizuo in mock betrayal. "Oh, Shizu-chan, how could you? Erasing my entry in your phone? What will happen now?"

"I-I wasn't…" Shizuo groaned. "I… I was just trying to change the name- HOLY SHIT!" The bodyguard practically screamed when he looked up and found himself face to face with Izaya.

"What's wrong with the name?" Izaya demanded, his eyes huge and round. "You don't like it, Shizu-chan?"

"A-aaah-" In any other situation, Shizuo would have responded indignantly, but the close-up of Izaya's face was making him uncomfortable. "…w-well… I… I…" A sudden thought struck him. Wait a minute…

Izaya stopped in puzzlement when Shizuo didn't answer. …did he go too far? "Shizu-chan-"

The blond looked up at him, confused innocence over his face. "I…" Shizuo began in a shy, hesitant tone, a bit of blush appearing on his cheeks. "…I actually was going to put…" Shizuo moved closer to Izaya, actually pouting a little. "…boyfriend, instead… but if you don't want me to put that, th-then I guess…"

Izaya's jaw went slack as he stared at Shizuo blankly, the smirking, cocky expression completely gone from his face.

"…ah…" His grip around Shizuo's phone loosened.

The blond didn't waste his chance. Shizuo hastily snatched the phone out of Izaya's hand, ready to get off of the couch and run. "Thanks, flea!"

It didn't take long for Izaya to realized that he had been tricked, and so, the informant hastily jumped onto Shizuo, pinning him to the furniture.

"Agh! Get off!" Shizuo cried, but he was laughing as Izaya tried in vain to grab the phone back from him.

"Shizu-chan, give me back the phone!"

"Haha, never!" His boyfriend yelled in triumph, defiantly raising the phone, clutched in both hands, above his head, out of Izaya's reach.

Izaya scowled. If Shizuo was going to play that way, then so was he! Grinning wickedly, the informant started to rub Shizuo's uncovered stomach with one hand.

"Haa-" The once laughing brown eyes went wide in surprise. "…Iza-ah… ah…" Shizuo tried to shrink away from the hand, only causing Izaya to rub harder. "…oh?"

The informant smirked, brushing his hand lightly over Shizuo's stomach again, making the bodyguard instantly squirm. "…what is this, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo gritted his teeth. "G-gah-"

"Ahahaha!" Izaya began to lightly massage the area as Shizuo's face grew pink. "Don't tell me… the great Heiwajima Shizuo… is ticklish?"

"Sh-shut up!" Shizuo yelped defensively, lowering his arms to protect his stomach. Instantly, Izaya reached for the phone Shizuo was still holding.

"Agh!" Shizuo quickly yanked his arms back up and tried to bring his knees up to shield his ticklish spots. "Hee… agh… no-"

Izaya simply pushed the black-clad knees down with one hand, the other lightly tapping and tickling Shizuo's stomach. "Hee… hee…" The blond squeezed his eyes shut. "S-haa, s-stop it, hee, a-aah, fl-flea-"

His red eyes full of mirth, Izaya continued his tickling torture. "Surrender then, Shizu-chan!"

"N-Noooo!" Shizuo grinned back at him, giggles escaping his mouth. "Hee… aah… ahahahahaha! No! Never, never!"

"Aw, come on, give me the phone already!" Izaya urged, his pale hand straining toward Shizuo's. The hand that was tickling Shizuo began to speed up.

"Aaah! Hahaha, heehee, n-no!" Shizuo laughed back, determinedly keeping the phone out of his reach.

"Why you…" The informant growled back playfully, pinching Shizuo's stomach. "Hand it over…"

"No!" The blond chuckled cheerfully, his knees coming up to keep Izaya at bay. "Give up, flea!"

Izaya's eyes glinted mischievously as his own hand finally latched onto Shizuo's tightly entwined ones. "Oh, we'll see about th…" Both Izaya and Shizuo stopped as they realized how near their faces were to each other. "_…_at…" Izaya finished lamely, looking down at Shizuo.

"…" An uncomfortable silence took place as the once noisy men realized that Izaya's knees were straddling Shizuo's thighs as the informant had his hand on Shizuo's vest.

Staring deep into Izaya's eyes, Shizuo let his hands open and dropped the phone to the ground.

The pale hand then laced fingers with one of his own as Izaya bent his head down. Closing his eyes, Izaya kissed Shizuo, his lips massaging the others gently, the phone now completely forgotten.

Shizuo awkwardly returned the gesture, his other hand retreating and catching Izaya's cheek.

The two continued to kiss softly, Izaya's right hand moving off of Shizuo's stomach and going on the couch as Shizuo fought the butterflies in his chest. "M-mm…" His grip on Izaya's face tightened briefly when a tongue began to prod at Shizuo's mouth gently.

"Aah…" Blushing, the blond allowed Izaya entrance without protest, his insides clenching as he did so.

It was when they started to make out on his couch did Shizuo think of the situation. First, it was almost like a child's game, they were just playfully teasing each other, and then… then it was suddenly this?

Izaya could feel Shizuo gripping his hand tighter as he mapped out his territory in the blond's mouth, wrapping their tongues together again.

"H-hmmm… aah…" The muffled groans continued to escape from Shizuo as Izaya shifted his position. As time went on, the kiss once more got sloppy and more forceful, Shizuo getting pressed deeper into the couch as Izaya ravished him.

"A-agh… h-haa, haa…" Finally, they separated, Shizuo panting hard as Izaya knelt his head down, fumbling one-handed with the bow tie at Shizuo's neck.

"I-Izaya?" Shizuo managed to question breathlessly as he felt the top of his shirt being ripped open, Izaya's harsh breath against his skin making him shiver. "Wh-what-" Shizuo broke off to inhale sharply as Izaya planted hot kisses over his neck. Shizuo's hand ended up threading through Izaya's hair as the kisses gradually turned to little nips along the soft skin.

"H-haa!" The blond couldn't help but make a gasp when he felt a harsh suck on his neck without warning. "I-Izaya, o-oi-" Izaya paused before biting down gently on the reddened skin, sucking as he did.

Shizuo groaned as the black-haired man licked the now forming hickey soothingly. "Y-you vampire..." The former bartender breathed sullenly, causing a chuckle from Izaya.

"That makes you the prey, Shizu-chan…" Izaya murmured before going back to attacking Shizuo's neck, being sure to leave marks that would show above the clothing.

Before long, his hands were starting to tug insistently at Shizuo's vest, and Shizuo, forgetting about all previous awkward conversations, lifted his arms slightly, helping Izaya pull off the article of clothing, the only thing his foggy mind allowed him to do at the moment.

"U-ugh..." The brown eyes slid shut when Izaya's tongue continued to caress the stinging red marks he had created. The mouth slowly moved down, nipping at his collarbone. "Shit..." Shizuo swore, clutching at Izaya tighter.

Unwilling excitement flared like a flame in the blond's chest when the informant suddenly let go of his hand and began to frantically unbutton Shizuo's shirt, bringing their mouths together in a frenzy of aggression. The blond quickly wrapped his arms around Izaya's neck, kissing back as hard as he could.

Once Izaya had finally got that godforsaken shirt completely unbuttoned, he quickly pushed it back to Shizuo's shoulders, his hands sliding back up and across Shizuo's chest while still making out with the blond. The fur coat was flung into another corner of the room a few seconds later.

It was then... when Shizuo's phone rang. _Vrrrrb. Vrrrrb._

They both paused. "..." Izaya pulled back, his eyes demanding Shizuo to ignore it, and, half-dazed, Shizuo was more than willing to, if it weren't for.. _"Yes, yes, if I am kidnapped by ransomers, rapists, or gangs, I'll have them call you first." _...Kasuka... it's not like that would really happen... but... "Oh, fuck." The bodyguard cursed, leaning up and kissing Izaya. "I-Izaya, I gotta... answer-"

The red eyes narrowed. Before he knew it, Shizuo found himself pushed back down roughly, Izaya giving another violent bite underneath his collarbone. "It can wait... later..."

Wanting so much to agree and submit, Shizuo let out another groan. "Aaah... l-listen, I... I just need to check... that... agh... it's not... m-mm... bad... a-all right? Please?" To his partial relief, he felt reluctant fingers pressing his cell phone in his hand, the device feeling cold in his heated palm.

"Th-thanks." Shizuo whispered before pressing a quick kiss to the informant's lips, identifying the caller as Kasuka and flipping the phone open. "K-Kasuka?"

"Nii-san." The fact that Kasuka called him that as soon as Shizuo answered made the blond stop, concerned. "Is... is everything okay?" He felt Izaya's fingers fiddling with the edges of his white shirt impatiently.

"Everything's fine." A huge smile came upon Izaya's face as he heard those words. Shizuo shrank a little. "...Um... are you sure?"

"Yes." Kasuka answered on the other line. Still grinning creepily, Izaya slowly turned Shizuo around, pulling off the long sleeved white shirt in the process. "W-wait-" Shizuo tried to protest, but was interrupted by Kasuka. "Wait? For what?"

"U-um, n-nothing." Much to his trepidation, Shizuo felt Izaya straddling him from behind. Immediately, his entire face went bright red as he choked inaudibly. TH... THIS... THIS... POSITION... IT'S... IT'S... IT'S ALMOST LIKE... LIKE... LIKE...

"...okay." Shizuo could already hear a hint of a slight suspicious tone in his little brother's voice. Izaya was _not_ helping as he nibbled on Shizuo's shoulder, his hands roaming over the blond's chest.

"...u-um, y-yeah... s-so... what's... what's up?" The blond fought the urge to bury his face in embarrassment as his sweaty back was kissed by Izaya.

"...well, I just wanted to let you know that I'll be able to visit you in a few days."

"O-oh, really?" Shizuo remarked, somehow maintaing a normal tone as Izaya's hands traveled down his chest. "That's, that's great!"

"I'll be seeing your boyfriend, then?"

"Bo-boyfriend?" Izaya's hands traveled lower.

"...Orihara Izaya?"

"A-ah, _him_..." Shizuo said loudly, throwing a glare at Izaya. "Yeah, I guess you two will be meeting for the first time-" Izaya's hands traveled _lower_...

The rest of what Shizuo was going to say suddenly ended in a rather un-masculine shriek. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" _Thump! CRASH!_

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Nii-san?"

"...Hi, Kasuka."

"...what... happened?"

"..."

"...an owl flew through the window." Shizuo said before he could stop himself as Izaya nuzzled into his neck, chuckling. HE WAS GOING TO STRANGLE THE FLEA AFTER THIS...

"..."

"..."

"...an owl... flew through the window?"

Shizuo put a hand over his face in embarrassment. "Y-yeah..."

"...in Tokyo?"

"...yeah."

"...Nii-san... there are not many owls in Tokyo..." Izaya removed Shizuo's hand from his face and kissed it. "W-well... it... it must have escaped from a zoo, Kasuka..."

"Shizu-chan..." Izaya whispered, smirking, "I think you should just admit that you're lying already." With that, the informant snatched the phone easily from Shizuo's grasp and pressed it to his ear smoothly. "Orihara Izaya here. Is this Hanejima Yuhei I have the honor of talking to right now?"

"Is this the owl I have the honor of talking to right now?"

Izaya chuckled again and squeezed Shizuo's butt. "Why yes, I think it is."

"I thought you were... ahem, a flea." Shizuo wanted to either turn into dust or die from embarrassment.

"So did I. Apparently, I was wrong... now, if you would please excuse me, Heiwajima-kun, I would very much like to _borrow_ your older brother for a _little_ longer, thank you very much." Without waiting for a reply, the man closed the phone and tossed it on the floor.

"..."

"..."

"...now, Shizu-chan, where were we?"

Shizuo groaned, and it was NOT a groan of pleasure. "I'm gonna strangle you, flea."

Izaya simply turned his head around to kiss him again. Before their lips could connect, however...

_Vrrrb. Vrrrb._

"..."

"..."

"...ah-"

"Shizu-chan?" Shizuo had to hold back a gulp at Izaya's tone.

"Wh-what, flea?"

"...I am going to burn that phone. I am going to burn it until it is an unrecognizable piece of crappy metal, then, I am going to stomp on it until it breaks into tiny little piece. Then, I am going to bury those pieces and dance on the spot."

"..." _Vrrrb._

Izaya rolled his eyes reluctantly. "But you can answer it first."

"Th-thanks." Shizuo hurriedly flipped his phone open. "Hello?"

"Shizuo! It's me!" The blond blinked at the alarmed voice. "T-Tom-san? What's wrong?"

"I'm really, really, sorry to be calling you like this but a bunch of fucking dumb kids in west Ikebukuro by Tokyo Hand are getting out of control! They're beating people up here, and Simon is out delivering sushi somewhere else! Please, get your ass here!"

Shizuo swore. "Damn it. Okay, I got it." He and Izaya, who was eavesdropping the whole time, looked at each other for several seconds before hurriedly scrambling up.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!" Shizuo hastily grabbed his white shirt, pulling his arms through the sleeves and fumbling with the buttons.

"W-wait, Shizu-chan, stop!" Izaya suddenly yelled.

"What?" Shizuo paused.

"...you look perfect like that..." The informant said dreamily, keeping Shizuo's shirt open.

"IZAYA!"

"Sorry, sorry, here's your vest, oh, and I'm coming with you!"

"Huh?" For the second time, Shizuo stopped, this time in the process of yanking on his vest. "...N-no, it's okay-"

"No, it's not!" Izaya pulled on his own fur coat. "They interrupted me, too!" And so, Izaya pulled Shizuo out of the house, the latter noticeably more flustered and messy than the former.

* * *

**...sorry about that... but... it's not like they can just bang each other and have a happy ending, right? ^^" ...ah, just to let you all know, lemons will probably be off-screen, since, hey, this is T-rated... and I'm scared to death of writing a fail lemon. )X**

**...Poor, poor Mikado... XD ...and Kasuka's probably not too happy with the "owl" that was bothering his brother, either... XD**

**Ah... and by the Shizuo fans from last chapter, I honestly do not mean to offend people who like Shizuo, me being one of them. )X I apologize if any offense was taken...**


	13. Yelling Too Loud

**A/N: Aaaaaaah... so sorry for the late update. And school starts tomorrow... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... T T" Well, I hope everyone has a good New Year! ...my New Year's resolution... is... is... Hm. I don't really know. XD Get these stories done on time?**

**hpalabay****:**** Haha, thanks! ...no idea where the owl part came from, though... maybe Harry Potter? 0 . 0**

**Izayan****: U-uh... 0_0" ...I... don't know. Th-thanks, b-but... um... um... I really don't know. AAAAAAAAAAAGH! *entire faces turns red***

**Dreaming Rain****: Erm... thanks! ^.^ Yeah, it just came to me when I was typing it that maybe I should put Shinra in to confuse poor Mikado a little more...**

**Allen Nara: XDDDDDDDD Haha, you just gave me the idea for this chapter... thanks! ^^ Oh, and you too!**

**Sarah32138****: Yup, Shinra just makes me lol. Especially when he's getting beaten by Celty. Ah, and you're welcome! ^_^**

**Ginger Blackmore****: Well, I just don't want to end the story so soon. XD ...um... 0_0" ...well... I... probably can't go on the latter site... **

**Aokidanza****: ...Mikado was so shocked/horrified, that he could barely move his fingers to make the shocked Japanese face, let alone press the log off button... XDDDD I don't know, something like that.**

**NeutronStarsCollide: Yeah, poor Kasuka and Tom... Ah, this is making us all anemic! XD You're welcome!**

**Purianee: XDDDDDD Haha, glad to know it made you laugh... ...Um, me? 0 . 0" ...Thanks?**

**KkarolBoss: ...um... I don't know, I'll try? 0_0 It just seems so hard to make them both... dominating... er...**

**shuenshadaku****:**** Thanks! ^^**

**Uccan****: Erm... thank you? ...but... um... um... I... I don't know about that... I just... yeah. T T I don't know...**

**otakumi: ...yes. Lol.**

**

* * *

**

"Shizuo, you made it-" Tom started gratefully, but halted as he caught sight of Izaya. "O-oh… Izaya-san-"

The informant was quite the scary sight. Flames were erupting from his entire beings and his red eyes were practically glowing in rage. "Where… are… they?" Izaya hissed with a rather frightening grin, flicking out of his knife as he spoke.

"U-uh…" Tom sweat-dropped, which was something since he usually spent a lot of time around Shizuo.

"…" Shizuo hastily shoved on his sunglasses and straightened his collar. "A-ah, Tom-san… so… where are they?"

The debt collector hastily snapped out of his surprised spell and pointed to a nearby alley. "Th-they're in there-"

Izaya then darted into the alley before Shizuo could even take a step. "GAH!"

"…" Shizuo and his employer stared after the alley in silence.

"…"

"…"

"Shi-Shizuo, if you don't mind answering, what _did_ I just interrupt-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" A blood curdling shriek emitted from the alley, causing Tom's dreadlocks to practically fly up.

"Wh-what the-"

Shizuo face-palmed.

IT was soon followed by even more louder and shriller screams.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"H-HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"HELP!"

"MOMMY! I'M SO SORRY FOR IGNORING YOU ALL OF THE TIME!"

"…"

"…"

Tom looked at the alleyway, then back at Shizuo. "…wh-what…" His voice trailed off as he realized how wrinkled Shizuo's shirt was. And how messy his hair was. And…. That there… were purplish…. thingies on his neck….

"…oh. Oh. OH."

"…" Shizuo cursed before letting go of his face to jerk his shirt up higher. "G-gah"

Meanwhile, Tom was hastily backing away, the picture of nervousness. "O-okay! W-well, now that it… sounds that the problem as been… taken care of, I think I'll… j-just go…" The poor man was too late.

"DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!" Izaya's voice could be clearly heard over the screams. "YOU WHO INTERRUPTED ME WHEN I WAS GOING TO **** AND ***** AND THEN ****** MY SHIZU-CHAN!"

"…"

"…" Tom froze in shock while Shizuo's hands slowly dropped down in utter horror.

"AND JUST WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO ******* HIM!"

Shizuo's eyes bulged. Izaya was about to do WHAT TO HIM?

"AND THEN I WAS GOING TO MAKE HIM ***** AND HIS ***** ***** AND ******!"

He was going to make Shizuo…. WHAT? AND…. SHIZUO'S… WHAT? _WHAT_? **WHAT**? The blond couldn't remember the last time he had been so petrified in horror, but he certainly was now.

"OH, AND ALSO ***** SHIZU-CHAN UNTIL HIS ****** AND ****! AND NOW, THANKS TO _YOU_, I WASN'T ABLE TO ****** HIM AND ***** AND NOW SHIZU-CHAN ISN'T ****** WHILE I'M ***** STILL AND **** AND STILL WANTING TO ******!"

"…"

Shizuo's jaw dropped, the only part of his body that could move right now. Hang on… Izaya… was still… still… HUH? …HE… WAS GOING TO MAKE SHIZUO…. UNTIL… EH?

"AND ****** THEN MAKE HIM SCREAM ****** ******** HANDCUFFS ******* USE 'TOYS' ********** ************ **************!" (Note: Not all of words blanked out were inappropriate for ages thirteen and under, but there were so many that the censorers got lazy and simply cut off whole sentences. We apologize for their laziness.)

"…" Upon hearing this, the former bartender promptly turned into a pale black and white figure. He was… Izaya was…. WHAT? SCREAM? HANDCUFFS? "TOYS"?

Tom coughed awkwardly. "A-ah… all right, I'm just… going to leave now… wish I had sooner…" And so, poor Tom ran from the scene, trying to protect what was left of his poor scarred mind.

"…"

"…"

Not paying much attention to his boss's exit, Shizuo simply gawked incredulously at the alleway, wondering if what he heard was actually true or not and hoping desperately for the latter. That… those… THOSE…. _Declarations_ coming true would be something straight out of Shizuo's worst NIGHTMARE…

"…"

"…" …or would it actually be a nightmare? The thought was so shameful that Shizuo practically slapped himself. His white face beginning to redden, Shizuo leaned helplessly against the building's wall. …before… in his apartment… what happened… really hadn't felt that bad- NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Swearing violently, the blushing bodyguard grabbd two hanfuls of his hair. He… he had just started going out with Izaya… why did this… this issue have to be a problem as soon as they started? S…. s… Sex… wasn't the only thing to a relationship! Surely, Izaya wouldn't mind if they take it… slow? After all, it's not like Izaya had _wanted_ to bang Shizuo as soon as he saw him… …

The blond immediately winced, remembering Izaya's perverted groping during their first talk and the way he had… looked at Shizuo…

Shizuo shuddered and slid down the wall. It's… it's not like he wouldn't be unwilling to… to do it… but… but what Izaya was just… yelling.. .and (unfortunately) still yelling… Shizuo… Shizuo just couldn't! HE COULDN'T! Who wouldn't be at least a little freaked out by that? From Izaya's behavior, Shizuo supposed that… kinky would definitely be in the informant's category, but… the uncomfortable train of thought was peacefully interrupted by another stream of rather M-rated words (meaning not were all just curses otherwise they wouldn't really be censored…) spewing from the alley, along with several ghastly yells.

"…" …oh. Something… something about… cross-dressing… Shizuo. …how… lovely… The bodyguard considered leaving and going home to huddle in a corner. …Actually, what was keeping him here? It definitely wasn't because he wanted to hear… what he was hearing right now… Pushing his sunglasses hard to his face, Shizuo sighed. Maybe because… he was worried about Izaya getting home safely?

….even though the flea seemed to be having no trouble… there was no telling whether Izaya might do something stupid and end up killing himself! Yes, Shizuo was aware that he, as guaranteed pandemonium, could not really talk, but still… he was Izaya's boyfriend…

With that thought, Shizuo slumped once more against the dirty wall of the building and prayed that Izaya would stop soon.

* * *

_Thirty minutes of Izaya yelling bad things later…_

A vein pulsed in Shizuo's temple. Just how long… That was it! Izaya was taking way TOO LONG! Shizuo couldn't wait anymore!

"…"

No, Shizuo did not mean it lilke THAT. Getting up, Shizuo hastily ran into the alley, his nerves on end. "Flea, for fuck's sake, just stop…." His voice trailed off as he realized just what Izaya was doing to those poor, poor punks…

"…."

"…"

"…"

"…." Extremely pissed (not to mention unnoticed), Shizuo pulled a cigarette out of his pocket, lit it, then stomped out of the alley and continued to wait.

* * *

_Another half an hour later of Izaya yelling… very bad things…_

"…" He really should leave. That was all Shizuo could think as he destroyed his twenty seventh cigarette under his shoe. As he stuck the twenty eight in his mouth, a miracle of miracles happened.

The screaming stopped.

"…"

"…"

After a few more seconds of precious silence, the former bartender heard quiet steps. Not daring to look into the alley, he continued to simply watch as Izaya stealthily emerged from the alley and almost walked past Shizuo without even noticing him. Of course, being Izaya, the informant paused before hastily turning around, shock written over his features. "Shizu-chan?"

"…hi, flea." Shizuo muttered, lifting his hand to take a drag from his cigarette only to realize it wasn't even lit. At least he didn't see Izaya's knife… he was never going to look at that knife the same way again…

"…Oh… you're still here?"

"…"

"…yeah."

"…that means… you heard everything?"

"Yeah. I heard _everything_. (I saw some things, too...)" Shizuo growled around his cigarette. "Hell, probably all of Ikebukuro heard. …you were pretty damn loud, flea."

"…" Izaya stared at Shizuo before scratching his head and giving a sheepish smile. "Ah, sorry."

"..."

SORRY? That was all Izaya had to say when he realized his boyfriend had heard his… less than honorable intentions? Shizuo sighed before getting up, dusting his pants off. "…can we just go?"

The black-haired man leaned over and plucked the cigarette from the bodyguard's motuh, replacing it with his lips. "Mmmph. Sure." He replied with a smirk, brushing his tongue teasingly across Shizuo's mouth.

The blond turned beet red. "Fl-flea!" Shizuo hastily turned his head down, embarrassed.

Chuckling over the cuteness of his Shizu-chan, Izaya kissed Shizuo's forehead, his hand coming down and catching the blond's hand. "…"

"….well, did you enjoy listening?" That question completely shattered the fluffy atmosphere. You could almost hear the "_PICHAK!_"

"…"

"…"

"NO." Shizuo grumbled, yanking his hand out of the informant's grasp and shoving it in his pocket, stomping away.

"Oh?" Izaya called in the most annoying tone, skipping after the blond. "But then, why did you stay throughout the _entire _time, Shizu-chan~? Is my precious uke a little less _innocent_ than he seems~? Hmmm~?"

"Oh, shut up, flea, I was… was…" Shizuo paused, unsure of how to say that he had been worried without sounding… so sappy… Of course, only then did Izaya's second question hit him. "H-hang on, what the hell did you just call me?" The bodyguard demanded, whirling around to face Izaya.

The informant simply laughed. "If it makes you uncomfortable, Shizu-chan, don't worry. It's okay. It doesn't have to happen."

"H-huh?" Shizuo blinked. Was Izaya talking about… what Shizuo thought he could be talking about? "…o-oh…" The former bartender blushed and kept walking.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"You're not going to hold my hand again?" Izaya asked, mocking a crestfallen face.

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "No. Your hand touched that knife, so I refuse to touch it! It's disgusting…"

"Disgusting?" Izaya doubled up in fake horror and hurt. "Oh, how you hurt me, Shizu-chan… but… you know, it is… a little crowded… we might get lost, so-"

"Look, I may be stupid, flea, but I'm not that stupid!" Shizuo grumbled. "Were alone!"

"Ah, is that once again _implying_ something, Shizu-chan?" Izaya teased lightly. "…but if it bothers you that much, I can just steal a glove-" A hand suddenly wrapped around the sleeve of the fur coat. The rest of Izaya's sentence faded away.

"…don't you dare say anything…" the bodyguard murmured warningly, jerking his flaming face away.

Izaya grinned widely before planting another kiss on Shizuo's forehead. "…you know… it might be more comfortable if you leaned your head that way-"

"Shut up! I'm not some dumb girl!"

"Of course you aren't! You're much too adorable to be a girl!"

"WHAT?"

"Ahahahahahahaha!"

"DAMN IT FLEA, STOP LAUGHING! IT'S NOT FUNNY! B-BESIDES, YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE MY WEGIHT IF I ACTUALLY DID LEAN ON YOU! I'M TOO HEAVY! YOU'D COLLASPE!"

"Ohoho, just try me, Shizu-chan, try me."

"…"

* * *

"A-aah… Izaya…" Shizuo gasped out as Izaya bit into his neck, his hands sneaking up under the bartender shirt.

"Mmm…" His own hands griping Izaya's back, Shizuo groaned again, moving the informants head back up to hungrily kiss him.

"You. Are. So. Sexy." Izaya muttered between kisses, sliding his hands out of Shizuo's shirt and placing them on either side of the blond's head, pinning him to the door. As they continued to make out, Izaya's knee nudged Shizuo's legs gently.

"Nnngh…"

It was a long time before they stopped, but, eventually, they did, and Shizuo tiled his head downward while Izaya tilted his face into Shizuo's hair.

"…"

"…" After a short moment of silence, Shizuo opened his mouth, rough from Izaya's work, and… closed it. Now… probably wasn't the right time to suggest that to Izaya, especially right after…. What just happened before. Instead, Shizuo pulled back… or, rather, tried to.

Once again, he forgot that he was pinned… to a door. Well, that was better than the floor incident…

"…Izaya?"

"Hm?" Shizuo's eye twitched at how comfortable his boyfriend sounded. "…uh… could you… maybe…"

"Huh?" Izaya blinked before realizing what Shizuo was trying to say. "Oh… sure." He pulled back and dropped his hands.

"…"

"…"

"…well… bye then."

"…I'll see you tomorrow." …why did conversation seem so awkward afterward?

Shizuo opened the door and paused hesitantly. Izaya cocked his head in slight confusion. "Shizu-chan?"

"Um…" The former bartender smiled shyly before leaning back in and giving Izaya a soft kiss on the lips.

"…"

After the door had shut, the informant put a hand to his mouth. A few seconds later, he let out a quiet laugh. Ah, how utterly cute his Shizu-chan was… It seemed that he formed yet another habit.

* * *

Currently in his office, Izaya typed at the computer while thinking of Shizuo, being the awesome multitasker he was.

_Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap-_

…he promised Shizu-chan that he wouldn't do anything to make the blond uncomfortable, right? Especially after that… little rant Shizuo had heard…

"Ahahahaha!" A laugh at his left shoulder caused Izaya to turn down. "…oh." Sitting on the informant's shoulder was… a chibi Izaya, along with red horns and a forked tail.

"…" Izaya sighed. "Oh, here it starts." Good thing Namie had already gone home…

The devil chibi rolled its eyes and crossed its legs. "Now, now, why such a depressing tone? …getting back to what I was saying, however…" The devil chibi winked mischievously. "True, you did promise, but if you think about it, 'uncomfortable' can be such a… general term… and if ou ask me, Shizu-chan was looking quite a little excited as well during your make out sessions…"

Izaya frowned at the devil chibi. "You were watching the whole time? Isn't that rather… voyeurish? And hey, watch it, only I can call Shizu-chan 'Shizu-chan'…"

The devil chibi only rolled its eyes again. "That's because I'm _you_… therefore, I have a right to call Shizu-chan 'Shizu-chan.' "

"Yes, I know that, but still…" The informant mumbled before leaning back in his chair. "You're saying I should just screw him, then?"

"If you're going to be that blunt…" The devil chibi shrugged. "Yeah."

Izaya closed his computer. "As tempting as that is… it's not like I can just fuck him in the street… or even outside of his apartment door…." He murmured, his tone guilty.

The devil chibi gave a sigh of his own. "Ah, great, here it comes…"

All too soon, Izaya heard a bout of loud coughing from his right shoulder. Sitting in a dignified position was another chibi Izaya, except with angel wings and a halo.

"…hi?" Izaya offered awkwardly as the angle chibi glared at him and the devil chibi.

"…well, yes, that's true." The angel chibi started off, crossing his arms. "Intercourse should not take place in any alleys, walls, elevators, or any place but a bedroom-"

"Shouldn't the sex matter more than the location?" The devil chibi interrupted, lifting up a hand.

"-but, first, you should make sure your partner will be comfortable…" The angel chibi continued.

"Esepcially since he'd be bottom~!" The devil chibi sniggered. Izaya sighed and twirled around on his chair. "I feel like I'm in sex ed. Class again…"

"Well," The angel chibi started indignantly, "That means-"

"Wait a minute!" Izaya interrupted violently, jerking his head to glare at the angle chibi. "YOU were the one who stopped me from taking SHizu-chan that other night!" The angel chibi looked back at him coolly. "And thanks to that and some other kind acts, Shizu-chan is now your boyfriend."

"…oh, yeah…"

"Listen," The devil chibi spoke up, seeming angry that he hadn't been able to speak more, "It should be okay as long as you don't get too kinky the first time! …and seeing how strong Shizu-chan is, I don't think being 'gentle' is really an issue here…"

"But Shizu-chan really is inexperienced." The angel chibi countered, making Izaya look to his right.

The devil chibi laughed, causing Izaya to turn to him. "Doesn't make him any less sexy."

"Yes, it doesn't." Izaya agreed dreamily.

"What if he panics?" The angel chibi asked, the informant turning to look at him again.

"Then you could just be less intense and start it… slowly?" The devil chibi suggested, his forked tail swaying to and forth like a cat.

The angel chibi rolled its eyes. "What if he panics, panics meaning screaming 'NO, NO, NO, NO, STOP!' and trying to get you off of him? You would just ignore it and keep going?"

"WHAT?" Izaya practically stood up in horror. "NO! That… that would be RAPE! I… I don't want to ever hurt Shizu-chan…" He said in a quieter tone, moving his hands pathetically to his face. The angel chibi put a comforting hand on Izaya's head while the devil chibi simply stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "Well, you can do what you want to do… as long as you don't end up not doing it until… you're married."

"…"

_BOOOM!_

A thunderbolt crashed in the back of Izaya as the informant turned black and white in horror, the picture of terror with his hands in his hair.

"WH… WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? N-N-N-N-N-N NO ….SEX… UNTIL… UNTIL WE'RE… WE'RE…"

The devil chibi chuckled. "That just might happen if you wait for Shizu-chan to suggest it!"

Izaya put his hand over his mouth in fear. "He… he wouldn't actually… WANT to wait that long, would he?"

The angle chibi smacked Izaya's head, furious. "Don't tell me you find that worst than raping him!"

"…"

"…"

After a long pause with both chibis staring at him, Izaya groaned. "I… I can't be too selfish!" The informant declared, straightening back up. "Even if I want to, I won't pressure or force Shizu-chan into something he won't want or isn't sure of! I won't! After all... if Shizu-chan is suffering, then, as his lover, I would suffer too!"

The angel chibi clapped cheerfully while the devil chibi sighed resignedly. "All right, all righit, I suppose even a person like you has to have _some_ honor…" His horns flicked up teasingly. "But what if Shizu-chan _wants_ you to take action?"

Izaya raised an eyebrow at him. "Say what?"

The angle chibi hastily butted in. "Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, if that was really the case, then Shizu-chan would have invited you over for the night, don't you think? Or at least say that 'it's okay'…."

"Oh, yeah…" Izaya muttered. Slumping his shoulders. The chibis almost fell off as he did

"H-hey, watch it!"

"Oh, sorry…"

The devil chibi flicked its tail again before speaking up. "If this is the case, though, then maybe you... should give some _hints_, you know?"

"I think Shizu-chan already knows what you want to do after you yelled it out." The angel chibi said bluntly, flapping its wings in a reproachful manner.

"Well, no point in dropping a few more, would it?"

"Shizu-chan's brother would get angry! And… you know how devoted Shizu-chan is to his brother!"

"Hey, hey, are you trying to say we don't have a big enough place in Shizuo's heart already? You think he'd choose his brother over us?"

"I'm not trying to say anything of that! I'm just saying, he's important to Shizuo, so we should be respectful and try not to push his buttons, like you did last time…"

As they continued to argue, the chibi's began to fade, and soon, Izaya was sitting alone in his spinning chair. Actually, he had been sitting alone in his spinning chair the whole time, but in his 'mind' state, he hadn't.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Izaya frowned. What he had just declared was easily said than done... It was just too tempting to just rip that despicable bartender suit off of him, that horrible black and white clothing, no, hideous material, that _trapped_ Shizuo's beautiful, soft skin from Izaya's hands, that... that... that... Izaya's eye began to twitch as soon as he thought of it. If he could just slash at it with his knife until it was all just threads, and then burn them into nothing-

Wait. Stop. Calm down... he couldn't do that. Doing anything bad to Shizuo's clothes was a no-no, because his precious _brother_ had given it to him... GRRRRRRRRRR... oh, if he hadn't, those clothes would be... would be...

Izaya moved his hands up to his hair again. This was bad. Now he needed something to take his anger out on...

...

...

...

_Bing! _An imaginary light bulb went off in the informant's head as he gave a large grin at the ceiling.

* * *

_The next day..._

"..."

"...Izaya-san?"

"Yes?"

"..."

"..."

"You... WHAT are you doing?" Namie finally asked, crossing her arms as she took in the view of Izaya's office. "No, wait, I take it back. What did you do?"

"...I bought... a large amount of bartender suits." Izaya responded, his face focused on the heap of clothes in front of them.

"Yes, I can see that... and why do you have a bottle of alcohol and matches next to you?"

"I'm going to set them on fire!" The informant answered cheerfully, picking up the alcohol and practically drowning the bartender suits in it.

"...You know you're going make a huge burn in the floor, do you?"

"I'll just have you clean it up." The black-haired man then lit a match before dropping it on the pile. "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." Izaya watched ecstatically as the clothing began to burn.

Any protests Namie was about to make were silenced as the stench of burning material reached her nostrils. "U-u-urgggghhh..." Not being able to take it, the secretary hastily fled from the room, dreading what she was going to find the next time she came back.

As soon as she was back out, however, Namie got out her cellphone and began dialing a number. It was a real pain, but Izaya was the one who was supplying her paycheck, so she couldn't really let him burn a fire like that without supervision...

* * *

_Five minutes later..._

Shinra blinked at the sight before him. "..." And immediately put a hand over his mouth, coughing slightly. "I-Izaya, I'm sure that that isn't healthy for your lungs..." For once, Shinra could sympathize with his father.

"...Oh, it's you." Izaya said in an uninterested tone, not breaking his gaze with the pile of burning clothes, the fire actually crackling as it grew.

"..."

"..."

"...eheeheeheeheeheeheehee."

"...I know rationality has never been one of your best qualities, Izaya, but really. You should have at least done this _outside_, where there's already a lot of smoke in the air..." Shinra muttered, pulling at the collar of his lab coat. "I thought it was something bad when your secretary called me, but I... was not expecting this..."

"Namie got you? ...why didn't she get Shizu-chan?" _Crackle, crackle. _"Ah... watching this is so much fun... eheeheeheehee..."

"...She probably didn't want Shizuo-kun to see this. I, for one, agree... come on, Izaya, just put this out and come outside... you can destroy multiple bartender suits with your knife, not by burning them... unless, those really are Shizuo-kun's, because if they are, then I'm out of here."

"..."

"..."

"...Izaya?"

"They're not his."

"...good... then will you... stop?"

"No. This is way too much fun."

"..."

* * *

_Vrrrb. _

_Vrrrb._

Shizuo glanced at the phone carefully before realizing that it was Shinra. Wondering what the nutcase wanted from him, the blond opened his phone and pressed it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Shizuo." Shinra's voice seemed tense with alarm, not even using the usual honorific. "You need to get here right now."

"Wh-what?" Shizuo asked, his brow crinkling in puzzlement. "...what the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm outside of Izaya's office... I think you should come down and... see something."

"Huh?" Panic was starting to bubble in the blond's chest. "What the hell happened, Shinra?"

"...just... come here. Please." Shinra sighed and closed his phone. "Ah... both of these two are really messed up..." He commented to himself, slipping his pockets into his lab coat. "...oh well, they are both my friends! ...and I suppose Celty would just tell me I'm not one to talk, either."

* * *

_Five seconds later..._

"...why the fuck is there smoke coming out of that window?" Shizuo asked Shinra bluntly, his hands in his pockets.

"..."

"...Izaya's... burning something." The doctor answered.

"...what? Is he okay?"

Shinra pushed his glasses up his nose. "...he's... more than okay, I think."

"What?" Shizuo hastily ran into the apartment and into Izaya's office. "Flea, what-" He almost broke off coughing from the smoke that gushed into his face. "Izaya-"

"..."

"..."

"..." The blond took a deep breath (which was particularly difficult, considering the smoke in the room) before going back out and standing next to Shinra.

"..."

"..."

"...WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY BOYFRIEND?" Shizuo suddenly screamed out, clenching his hair in frustration. His face turned red as he realized that he had actually referred to Izaya as his... his... his... his boyfriend...

Shinra, however, simply shrugged before answering. "Well, Shizuo-kun, he burned a pile of clothes similar to your usual attire, laughing wildly the whole time. What does that seem to imply to you?"

"..."

"...that he wants me to wear something else?" The blond asked hopefully.

"...Shizuo-kun." Shinra put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Trust me, denial will not help you. It didn't help Celty, either..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

While this was going on, the poor passerby that happened to be at the scene only went on with their own business, that being the only thing they could really do.

* * *

**Next time on WCIJBS?...**

**While Shizuo is desperately trying to solve his problem with Izaya, he finds himself being mocked and called... a lot of very bad things from other... people who heard Izaya's... yelling. What will Izaya do when he finds out that his Shizu-chan has been hurt by this?**

**

* * *

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**...sorry, this is bad. Lol. If this chapter seemed a little... choppy... or worst... I'm sorry. ^^"**


	14. Apologies and a Blessing?

**A/N: ...I'm so glad that people like this story. :D Yup, I have no idea where that bartender suit thing came from... ahaha... ah, and... no, I think this fic will remain T, Akaeyes-san. ^^ ...I'm... too much of a coward to make it more. XDDDDDDDD You guys really encourage me with all of your wonderful reviews, I really appreciate it... this story would be dead if it weren't for you...**

**...but this chapter sucks. T T" ...pretty much like every other chapter. Gawd, I'm sorry.**

**Ah, and I did not mean to offend anyone's sexual opinions on the last chapter, I'm sorry if I did... it's just the way my really OOC Izaya thinks... XD Why do I keep forgetting to say these things?**

**Disclaimer: ...I don't own Durarara! or Baccano! They belong to Narita Ryohgo. **

**

* * *

**

Shizuo was with Celty in the park when it happened. It was a day after the... burning, and Shinra had already filled Celty in with... the details of the burning.

_Well__,__ Shizuo..._ Celty typed in her PDA, _I don't think Izaya would ever force you to do anything__,__ right? I mean... maybe he didn't even know that you saw him__-_

"Y-yeah..." The former bartender muttered reluctantly, grinding the remains of his cigarette underneath his shoe, "b-but... I... I don't know. I feel... bad. I mean... it's like Izaya's trying so hard not to make me feel uncomfortable, but the fact that he does want to... do it kind of makes me feel guilty..."

_Y-you shouldn't feel guilty__!_

The blond raised a miserable eyebrow. "...you really think so?"

_Of course! I mean... you shouldn't do anything just because you feel guilty about it... at least, that's what I think__. _Celty tapped away, erasing her other message. _Unless you feel sure about something, you shouldn't do it... I'm sure Izaya would agree with me._

"..."

"I... I guess you're right..." Shizuo sighed again. The two friends remained in silence until the laughing and bickering of a group of people nearby broke it. A glance from both Shizuo and Celty identified the gang as a bunch of young, wannabe gangsters, probably all still in high school.

"...wanna move away from them?" The blond suggested. Celty nodded her helmet, and was about to get up, when the said group of hoodlums approached them.

"...hey." One, probably the "leader", prompted, an annoying smirk on his face. "You're Heiwajima Shizuo, right?"

Shizuo raised an eyebrow as Celty "looked" on worriedly. "Yeah." He answered cooly, sliding his hands into his pockets. "What about it?" Usually, he would have stood up, but the quality of the company in front of him made him irritable.

The hoodlums immediately all snickered loudly, not sounding unlike donkeys with bad asthma, and also not helping Shizuo's already bad temper. "Hehe... so you're the one that's taking it from that information broker?"

"...what?" The former bartender asked, confused. Celty, however, flinched in alarm.

"Orihara. You know, the guy from Shinjuku."

Shizuo rummaged in his pocket for a cigarette. "What about him?" The nonchalant reply was soon followed by a flick of a lighter.

The high schoolers all giggled like pigs again. "Ahahaha... aren't you his... fucktoy?"

Brown eyes shot open from behind the sunglasses. Celty stood up indignantly, her PDA held out in front of them. _Leave Shizuo alone! I don't see how the likes of you can make fun of him!_

The ring leader leaned into Shizuo's face and grinned, showing a mouthful of hideously rotten teeth. "Hah, see, you're not even denying it. We all know what Orihara does to you once you go home, eheehee, ahahaha. Guess you're not so tough after all... I thought you were the strongest guy in fuckin' 'kebukuro... now you've become Orihara's, what, like forty seventh whore?" Chuckling over his own joke, the hoodlum grinned again. "I bet in a week, he'll already get tired of hearing you screaming and begging! Then, the bastard'll just move onto another! But don't worry, if you get lonely, _we_ can always take good care of you..." Snickers and jeers from the others soon followed. "Hey, how about it? Since you're so used to getting it in the ass, how about you-"

Celty tensed warningly. _Listen to me! If you know what's good for you, then go away!_ Still holding her PDA, the dullahan started to form her scythe with her other.

Throughout all of this, Shizuo remained silent, his face blank with one hand still clutching his cigarette. "..." Finally, the blond spoke, his voice neutral and devoid of a single trace of anger. "...why are you talking about Izaya like that?"

"H-huh?" The hoodlums all said at once.

Shizuo took a deep drag of his cigarette before calmly repeating himself. "Why are you talking about Izaya like that? The flea may be a louse, but he's not like that."

The ring leader gulped, extremely unnerved by Shizuo's lack of reaction. "U-uh... w-well, how do you know that?" He jeered with obviously fake confidence, spitting on the ground. "I bet all the two of you do is fuck-" His sentence broke off as he received a hard rap on the head from the end of Celty's scythe. "O-ow-"

Her fingers trembling in fury, Celty shoved the PDA screen into his face. _You don't know anything! Who do you think you are, coming here and saying such things to Shizuo?_

The hoodlum spat at her again. "Hah! We're not talking to you, you freak-"

THAT was it. Shizuo snapped. Throwing his cigarette to the ground, the bodyguard suddenly stood up and stomped on it violently.

"A-ah-" All of the grimy kids immediately jumped back like the scared pussies they really were.

His eyes invisible under his sunglasses, Shizuo took a step forward. "You just called Celty a freak."

"U-uh..."

The dullahan put a hand on the blond's shoulder, knowing that it was already futile. _Shizuo, I appreciate it, but don't waste your energy on these guys! I canadlsfjka-_

Gently pushing her hand off, Shizuo continued to stare at the hoodlums. "No one... DOES THAT!" With frightening speed, the calm mask Shizuo had on finally shattered, and, enraged, he charged at the kids, who all screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-"

_SHIZUO-_

**BOOOOOOOOOM! CRASH! BBBBBBBRRRGGHH! SPLAT!**

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

Celty's helmet jerked back and forth, unsure of what to do. What should she do? There was no way she could stop Shizuo, but, in all reality, the blond had never been taunted like that in such a way (mainly because everyone feared him), and-

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!** A few feet away from Celty, one of the kids landed in the ground with a crash, the cement actually cracking beneath the force of the throw. Celty, of course, paid it no mind and continued to fret. What should she do, what should she do, what should she do- Shaking, the dullahan hastily pulled out her phone again and began to text a certain informant.

**You have received a new text message**

**From: Celty**

**IZAYA! PLEASE GET HERE NOW! A BUNCH OF JERKS ARE CALLING SHIZUO... BAD THINGS! PLEASE! WE'RE AT THE PARK!**

**

* * *

**

_A few minutes later..._

"CELTY!" Izaya's yell caused the dullahan's helmet to snap back up as she caught sight of him running toward her, looking wild. "WHAT HAPPENED-"

His voice trailed off as he spotted Shizuo yanking up the collar of a heavily bleeding teenager. Snarling, Shizuo shook the ring leader several times, his features contorted in rage. "DON'T, YOU, EVER, CALL, IZAYA, THAT, AGAIN! IF YOU EVER TALK ABOUT IZAYA LIKE THAT, I'LL-"

"...Shizu-chan?" The nickname caused the bodyguard freeze in the middle of his violent speech, his hand still curled around the hoodlum's neck. "..."

"..."

"..."

"..." Slowly, Shizuo turned his head around and stared at Izaya in absolute horror. "...uh..." The blood in his face didn't know whether to drain out or rush to his cheeks. Of course, the latter happened.

Sincerely concerned, Izaya extended a hand toward the blond hesitantly. "Are you... what happened-"

"Ah!" Before he could stop himself, Shizuo flinched from Izaya's touch, his cheeks still red. "A-ah... n-no, it's not-

Unfortunately, the ring leader saw this as his chance to escape and wriggled out of Shizuo's grip. "Gah!"

"Shit!" The blond swore, whipping his head back and taking off after the hoodlum, leaving Izaya behind with Celty, who was still in the background.

"..."

"..."

"..."

After a few minutes of silent staring, Izaya turned around to face Celty, looking guilty and crushed. "...is this... my fault?"

Having never "seen" him with that expression before, Celty... well, she couldn't exactly widen her eyes, but, well, she was startled. She slowly typed in a few more words. _I... I don't think it is... I mean, it was them who all started it in the first place..._

Izaya's sad features quickly twisted into his usual calculating face, along with a hint of slight anger. Passing Celty, he sat down on the bench, the only thing left that could be sat on. Smiling in an almost _pained_ way, the informant rested his arms on the top. "Celty, I want to hear, ahem, see EVERY single word these trash said to Shizu-chan."

"..." Celty tilted her helmet dubiously before typing another hesitant message. _Every single word?_

A familiar evil grin formed on Izaya's face. "Yes, please..."

"..."

* * *

Shizuo swore silently to himself as he chased the last hoodlum down Ikebukuro's streets. Why had he cringed away from Izaya like that? Now the flea would think that Shizuo really was disgusted by him or something... Or maybe Izaya was even mad at him now. Really, really mad at him... It was all Shizuo could think about as he brought his knee down on the hoodlum's head. Still filled with guilt, the blond got up and began walking away, any real anger he had in him long gone.

He payed no heed to the shuffling sounds behind him until a mocking whistle reached his ears. "Haha, there he is..."

Slowly, Shizuo turned around. Behind him was ANOTHER group of gangsters, all a lot stronger and taller-looking than the last group.

"Wanna play?" The question rang sharply in the air.

The bodyguard looked at them with eyes, feeling weary, but not from fatigue. Did Shizuo have a choice? Did he ever had a choice?

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"Are you sure," Izaya said finally, "that that was all?"

Celty tried to rack her brains, but realized she didn't have any. _...I'm pretty sure._

"Hmm, I see..." With that, the informant stood up. At the same time, his phone rang. "Hello?" Izaya paused. "...oh... oh... oh... oh... oh. I see. Thank you very much." Snapping his phone shut, Izaya started to walk away.

_Izaya? Where are you going?_

"Somewhere. Oh, and would you mind giving your husband these?" The black-haired man asked, giving one of the unconscious forms a kick. "Maybe he can find them useful in some way. As for me, I'm going to pay a little _visit_ to someone..." Before Celty could type anymore, Izaya took off.

"..."

"..."

Husband? Celty clenched her phone nervously. When Shinra found things that he classified as "useful" ...bad things happened... maybe... she shouldn't? And where was Izaya going to anyway? Despite herself, the dullahan had to repress a shudder at what might happen to that "someone"...

* * *

Izaya continued to grin crazily as he marched toward Raira Academy, covering what was really going inside in his head. Shizuo... Did Shizuo not want him to interfere with anything? Was he... being too protective? After all, Shizuo was probably used to taking care of himself... Unease churned in Izaya's stomach. This really had been all of his fault... He hadn't planned to show that weakness to Celty...

Well, there could be nothing done about that. No matter how Shizuo felt, Izaya would not allow such behavior any tolerance.

...why was he going to Raira Academy? Well, because, as Izaya surmised from before, no random group of hoodlums could just go picking on Shizuo like that without being told to do it by someone. That someone had to have been an overhearer (at least, not someone he had... _injured_ from that time) of what he had been shouting, so... he just did an extremely quick bit of snooping and found out that a certain person had caused all of this.

And that certain person just happened to be a senior at Raira Academy. So, Izaya was going over to... beat him up like the protective boyfriend he was, of course.

Going back into crazy mode, Izaya took out his knife and grinned as he started toward the class where his target was currently in. As he was doing this, one of the office workers walking by passed Izaya and thought nothing of it.

"..."

"..."

"..."

A few seconds, later, the poor woman's head whipped back. Did she see what she just THOUGHT she saw?

* * *

_In a nearby classroom..._

As soon as his classmates's debate had begun to get rowdy, the English teacher finally stopped them and began to give them a through lecture.

"Now, listen here, everyone..." He started, crossing his arms in front of him. "The fact of someone has strange hobbies does NOT give you the right to judge them-"

A loud scream and a crash temporarily interrupted him.

**BOOOOOOOOOOM!**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"HOW DARE YOU TELL THOSE ********** TO SAY ******* AND ******** TO MY SHIZU-CHAN ONLY I CAN ******** HIM AND ********** AND ******** AND ********* MAKE HIM ********* AND ********** HE'S MINE TO ********* AND ******* AND ******** AND ********* AND ***********! AND MARK MY WORDS, ONE DAY, I WILL ******** HIM AND ******* HIM AND ******* HIM BUT WHEN I DO, HE WILL ENJOY ME ************************* HIM ********** AND ********* AND ********** FOREVER! I WILL ********** HIM FOREVER AND HE IS MINE TO *********! DO YOU GET THAT YOU ******** ****** ********* THAT WOULD DARE *********** MY ****** *******************!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

When silence finally reigned in shocked classroom, the teacher simply continued without missing a beat. "Of course, there are always exceptions."

"..."

Hey, you had to give that guy credit.

* * *

_In another classroom that was mercifully out of earshot..._

Looking blankly out of the window, male class representative Mikado suddenly shivered before giving a shriek. "Aaaaaaagh!"

"Is anything wrong, Ryuugamine-kun?"

"A-ah!" Flustered, the boy realized the whole class was gazing at him strangely. "N-nothing, s-sorry." Mikado muttered bashfully, averting his gaze. He was still too scarred from the... the unspeakable incident that happened a few days ago to notice even Anri's concerned glance.

* * *

_A few hours later..._

Shizuo finally collapsed against the wall of an alley, exhausted. It had been too long since he had been forced to fight people without any fueling anger in him. He didn't even have any energy left in him to take out a cigarette. No, not energy... more like the will. The fact that Izaya was probably mad at him weighed in his stomach like a stack of Kasuka's magazines.

Now that he thought about it, it wouldn't really be surprising that Izaya would be mad at him... after all, he had done a lot of things to annoy the flea... like... like always running away... and always trying to resist his advances... and answering Kasuka's phone instead of... yeah... and not wanting to do... yeah. Heiwajima Shizuo may be the strongest man in Ikebukuro, but right now, all he wanted to do was... was...

...He wanted the most annoying, most infuriating, most irritating, and most perverted person in the world that also had a furcoat.

"Agh..." The blond groaned and buried his face into his knees. How the hell was he going to fix this mess?

"How the hell am I going to fix this mess?" An equally depressed sounding voice echoed. Nodding slightly, Shizuo closed his eyes.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..." Wait. WHAT? Shizuo jerked his eyes open. It... It couldn't be...

"If Shizu-chan isn't pissed like hell with me, he's probably hiding from me..." The voice continued, coming from the other side of the wall, accompanied by dragging footstesps. "...He probably doesn't even want to see me after what he heard... Damn it, I knew I should have destroyed that phone!" Shizuo heard a dull kicking sound.

The blond froze in horror, unable to move a muscle. The other person on the wall HAD to be Izaya... who else would refer to him as Shizu-chan? Shizuo gulped, his cheeks reddening as sweat formed on his palms. No, Shizuo wasn't ready to face him, not now, not yet...

"...Okay... perhaps I should practice verbally for when I see him..." Izaya could be heard muttering. The footsteps stopped. "...Shizu-chan, I realize I've been acting like a sex-deprived, kinky bastard, and I'm really sorry for what happened because of that and you can... what? I... I shouldn't be using the word kinky? ...Actually, that kind of makes sense, he shouldn't be hearing anything related to sex... e-erm... so then... Shizu-chan, I'm really sorry for what happened because of me, and you can punch me as much as you want... actually, I wouldn't like to be punched, but whatever makes Shizu-chan happy is fine, w-wait, no, let me start over... Shizu-chan..."

Shizuo blinked. Izaya... wanted to apologize to him? ...did that mean... he felt a spark of hope in his chest. Izaya... wasn't really mad at him after all?

"Hmm... Shizu-chan, I'm very sorry for what happened, this is all my fault, and I'll do anything to fix this, just don't run away from me..." Izaya paused. "...And... and I want you to know, Shizu-chan, that I'm not head over heels for you just because of your body! ...even though it is a damn hot body I want to- AAAAGH, no, I'm getting off subject here! ...er... Shi-Shizu-chan... Shizu-chan is very precious to me, and I... I... I... um... I... I... I actually... ...you... ... ... ... I..."

"..."

"...YES, I think I KNOW that I failed there. Let me try again! Shizu-chan... This is all my fault, I'm so sorry, I'll do anything to fix this... I... Well, of course I sound pathetic, I FEEL pathetic.. Um, Shizu-chan, I've been a lousy, pathetic, asshole flea of a boyfriend-"

"..." ...was Izaya talking to himself or what? ...but... it seemed like he really wasn't mad at Shizuo! Time to get up and start caramell dancing! ...hang on, did Shizuo actually just think that?

"Shizu-chan..." Meanwhile, on the other side, Izaya kept fumbling for words. "Shizu-chan is... is... is the most... the most... most..."

Shizuo felt his heart speed up. Most? Most what?

"Shizu-chan... Shizu-chan is the most... important person to-" **CRASH!** "-MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?" Izaya broke off in a scream as a series of clanging noises suddenly broke out over the alley. Shizuo winced, barely breathing until the noises faded away.

"...what the hell was that about?" He heard Izaya's voice swear softly.

Thank god... for a second, Shizuo had thought Izaya realized he was there... Shizuo couldn't let himself be found out! It would be the most awkward, most embarrassing... The blond let a tiny sigh of relief escape him.

"...Ah. I also have to apologize to Shizu-chan for not doing this earlier today... and for yelling that out... and for the... the... the bartender suits..."

Shizuo rolled his eyes. He should think so!

"...or maybe he didn't know about the bartender suits..."

"..."

"..."

"Either way, I'll need to say sorry to him- Eh?" Izaya stopped, and there were several more shuffling sounds. "...these are... Shizu-chan's glasses?"

As soon as the words reached Shizuo's ears, the bodyguard instinctively reached for his pocket. Oh no... This... was not good...

"Shizu-chan... Shizu-chan was here? Why would he lose his glasses like that?" The blond hastily clamped a hand to his mouth to stifle his breathing. It was clear that Izaya was now on full alert.

"..." He soon heard a growl. "Don't tell me that ass sent more thugs after my adorable uke-"

UKE? UKE? Shizuo drew breath to splutter indignantly. ...and realized he couldn't. SHIT. Shizuo fought to hold his breath, but, for some reason, his lungs (probably from smoking) were already demanding air. "...gh... ...mgh... Haaa!"

...He might as well have shouted at the top of his lungs in the dead silent alley.

"..."

"..."

"..."

Shizuo's heart skipped as Izaya's footsteps suddenly became much faster and louder. All he could do was press himself helplessly agains the wall when Izaya turned around the corner.

"Shizu-chan!"

"...a-ah..." His entire face red, Shizuo tried to say something.

His boyfriend stared at him, looking dumbstruck, until Izaya grabbed Shizuo's shoulders in concern. "Shizu-chan! You're all beat up!"

"U-uh-" Shizuo tried to look at the ground as the black haired man grasped his hand. "Who did it? I'LL STOMP ON THEIR CELLPHONES!"

"A-actually, fl-flea, that-" Izaya interrupted him again, grasping his face and eyeing the small cuts and bruises. "Shizu-chan... ah, Shizu-chan, I'm so sorry, this is all my fault-" Whatever protests poor Shizuo had to offer was muffled by Izaya's mouth. "M-mmf, flea-" Pulling back, Izaya leaned in again and kissed his cheeks, his forehead, and the corner of his eyes. Shizuo practically felt steam go out of his ears as his face grew hotter.

The informant moved from his face to his hand, pushing the sleeve of his shirt up to Shizuo's elbow as he placed kisses on every scrape, bruise, or cut he found on the hand and arm.

Shizuo felt his legs turn to jelly as he allowed Izaya to continue, his heart pounding in embarrassment and relief. "I...Izaya..." He murmured, catching the man's attention.

"Shi-Shizu-chan?" Izaya stuttered, jolting back up to look at the blond. "I... I really am sorry-" Shizuo knelt his head down so he could bury his face against the black shirt. "...You're forgiven." Shizuo muttered softly, squeezing Izaya's hand. "...I thought you were mad..."

"...Uh..." Staring at the head of blond hair below him, Izaya's cheeks flushed slightly. "...d-do you need to go to Shinra's? Here, I can-"

"No... I... can just go home..."

"Okay, okay..." Izaya blabbered like an idiot, wrapping his arms around Shizuo. "Well, I'm glad that you forgive me, Shizu-chan! ...wait a minute, you heard every single thing I said back there, right? ...Er, I meant it! You really are the most important-"

"Flea... stop talking already."

"...Yeah, I should." Izaya blinked before shifting slightly. "...I'll take you home, then..."

Shizuo, who, at first, had his eyes closed in content, snapped them open as he realized Izaya had gently moved Shizuo onto his lap. "I-Izaya?"

Chuckling lightly, the informant moved his hands down, one gripping underneath Shizuo's knees, the other supporting the blond's back as he stood up.

"I-IZAYA?" Shizuo practically shrieked in horror as he was lifted bridal style, his arms flailing helplessly in the air. "What... WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? PUT ME DOWN! NOW! NOW! **NOW**!" HOW COULD IZAYA EVEN LIFT HIM UP SO EASILY?

Izaya had to bit his lip hard to refrain from smirking at Shizuo's shrill protests. "I'm carrying you home. What else?" He tightened his grip as the blond squirmed helplessly.

"S-STOP IT! LET GO, FLEA! I-I CAN WALK MYSELF!" The informant had to laugh a little at Shizuo's face, even his ears were red! It was so cute!

"In such an appalling, delicate state that you're in? I think not, Shizu-chan... And if you could walk, you would be able to break my hold..."

"SHUT UP! PUT ME DOWN NOW!" Shizuo yelled, hating how ridiculous he sounded, trying to kick his legs out of Izaya's grasp. "IZAYA! IZAYA! I MEAN IT! STOP IT! I'M NOT A GIRL!" THIS WASN'T FAIR! "YOU COULD CARRY ME OTHER WAYS, YOU KNOW! I-I MEAN... LIKE... LIKE ON YOUR BACK! OR THE TIME WHEN I GOT DRUNK-"

"Just put your arms around my neck already, Shizu-chan, we both know that you want to-"

"YOU'RE PUSHING IT, FLEA! DAMN IT, STOP LAUGHING!"

"Ahahaha..." Izaya began walking, showing no signs of weariness at all. "Ah, whatever you say, my princess..."

"DON'T YOU CALL ME THAT! D-DAMN IT, I'LL KILL YOU- mmmf!" Whatever Shizuo was about to say was lost forever as Izaya bent down and kissed him again on the lips. "..." Defeated, Shizuo closed his eyes reluctantly and slid his arms around Izaya's neck, secretly delighting in the warm chest pressed against him.

Both, however, were sure that it was going to be a peaceful walk home. Neither could have been further from the truth.

"Look!" A loud whisper caused Izaya to pause, still holding Shizuo bridal style. "It was a kiss!"

"A kiss! A kiss!" A second, squeakier voice agreed vigorously. Both Izaya and Shizuo turned to the right. To their confusion, a man and woman were crouched behind a couple of trash cans, obviously "spying" on them.

"...uh-"

"Isaac!" The woman suddenly squeaked out, her brown eyes shining in excitement. "Do you think they could be lovers?"

Izaya blinked twice at the odd couple. Both had foreign faces, most likely American, however, Japanese rolled off their tongues fluently.

The man put a hand under his chin, apparently in deep thought, before whipping his arm out, almost upsetting the trash can next to him. "I'M SURE OF IT! It has to be! They have to be lovers! Look at how perfectly they fit together! Look at how tenderly the black-haired man holds his love!"

"Love!" The blond woman echoed happily, putting her arms up in the air as well.

"Ah, you see, one of them looks like they've been in a fight! It must be a hurt and comfort filled romance! Or..." The man flipped the hat he was wearing dramatically. "What if that kiss was their first, filled with unexpected passion that was hidden for YEARS?"

"Oooooooh!" His companion clapped her hands together excitedly. "Amazing! You're amazing, Isaac!"

Shizuo's jaw dropped. WHAT... WHAT THE HELL? Realizing again that Izaya was carrying him like a girl, the blond blushed heavily.

"See, Miria! Those red cheeks tell no lies!" "Isaac" declared passionately, pointing a blatant finger to Shizuo. "They must be madly in LOVE!"

"In love!" "Miria" repeated.

"..." Despite the situation's bizarreness, Izaya and Shizuo both blushed slightly at the mention of love. "...ah-"

Unfortunately, at this point, the man "Isaac" had already leapt up from their spot to jump in front of Izaya and Shizuo, the woman following suit. "See how neither denies it? IT'S TRUE LOVE! NO QUESTION ABOUT IT!"

"NO QUESTION ABOUT IT!" Miria gave a spin around, clapping her hands again. "They'll marry- huh?" The blond woman blinked several times before whispering audibly into Isaac's ear. "Isaac! The blond one isn't a girl!"

"Eh?" Isaac looked at Shizuo, bobbing his head up and down before giving a little jump. "Ah! You're right, Miria! She isn't a girl!"

"..." Shizuo's jaw dropped AGAIN. IT TOOK THEM THAT LONG TO REALIZE THAT? His face flamed in indignation. He wasn't THAT obvious of a uke, was he?

"...Issac... I don't understand... what do we do?" Miria whispered loudly, confused. Isaac put his hand under his chin again. "Um... hm... hm... er... AHA!" He pounded his fist in triumph. "I KNOW! They're reincarnated lovers!"

"Reincarnated?" Miria asked, starting to jump excitedly.

"That's right, that's right!" Isaac said happily, starting to jump as well, a huge grin on his face. "They found each other again, after hundreds of years of loneliness and pain, only to realize that one of them was a boy! But their love has NO bounds! They will still love each other despite that!"

"Oh! I see! That's amazing! The power of their love is AMAZING!"

"Yeah, it is, it is!"

"..." Izaya and Shizuo continued to stare speechlessly as the Americans started dancing around them in circles.

"Because their love is so great and persistent, let's hope they'll be together forever, Miria!"

"Forever, forever!" Miria echoed, ecstatic as she and Isaac continued to dance around Izaya and Shizuo.

"Oh, wait!" Isaac suddenly paused, putting a hand to his chin. "Hang on, we must know their names!"

"Oooooh!" Miria stopped as well, bouncing in place. "That's right, that's right! Isaac, ask them their names!"

"What are your names?" Isaac demanded, pointing a dramatic finger toward Izaya and Shizuo.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..." Finally, Izaya spoke up. "Izaya."

"...Shizuo." Shizuo muttered, amazed that he still had his voice.

"IZAYA AND SHIZUO!" Isaac and Miria yelled before both giving them a thumbs up. "WE KNOW YOU'LL BE HAPPY TOGETHER!" They shouted in unison.

"..."

"..."

Grinning, the two ran off together, arm in arm, while still cheering loudly. "IZAYA AND SHIZUO, IZAYA AND SHIZUO, IZAYA AND SHIZUO! HOOHOO! HOOHOO!"

With that, Isaac and Miria disappeared into the night, leaving Izaya still carrying Shizuo.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Izaya's red eyes narrowed slightly. Something... something about that couple was... strange... ...and by strange, he meant unnatural... the informant craned his head to look after them, but a murmur from Shizuo had him completely distracted.

"...flea?"

"A-ah, yes?"

"...I think... I've lost it."

"..."

"...I saw them too, Shizu-chan. They were there. It really happened."

"..."

"..."

"...all right. Fine. Well... at least... um... ...fuck, I don't know anymore. Just get me home. You can sleepover, too."

This time, it was Izaya's jaw to drop. "...sl-sleep... over?"

_To be continued..._

_

* * *

_

**...ahaha. I know... that was just pretty random... but I couldn't help it. I fell in love with Isaac and Miria when I first saw Baccano!, they're just the best, almost like Erika and Walker! **

**...if you don't know what Baccano! is, it's another light novel/manga/anime series by the same person who created Durarara! I... really like it. X) Of course, they have no Shizuo, but still...**


	15. SLEEPOVER!

"…"

"…"

Heiwajima Shizuo said nothing. Not a single word as he and Izaya, technically, only Izaya, trudged through the streets. You would think, by now, that the blond exbartender had already suffered his fair share of awkwardness, embarrassment, nervousness, and sheer TERROR.

Apparently, the heavens were too cruel to him.

That crazy couple from back there had definitely corrupted his mind! What in the name of Izaya's fur coat had possessed Shizuo to offer the flea to sleep over? AT HIS HOUSE! WITH ONLY ONE BED! May he stress the ONE BED…

Adjusting his arms awkwardly around Izaya's neck, Shizuo kept his eyes glued to the informant's shirt, not daring to look at the informant's face. What should he do, what should he do, WHAT SHOULD HE DO? Where was Izaya even going to sleep? Shizuo's apartment had only… only one bed… which… which would mean… Shizuo bent his head as blood rushed to his cheeks in shame. …why was he being so pessimistic here? Maybe… maybe it wouldn't have to come to that. Perhaps… perhaps one of them could simply sleep in on the couch? …but… but they were boyfriend and… boyfriend… would it… be really that rude-

"…" As… as long as there wasn't any alcohol involved, it should be all right, shouldn't it? After all, they didn't even have condoms- CONDOMS? _CONDOMS? _…SHIZUO DID NOT THINK THAT JUST NOW, HE DID NOT…

Extremely worried and distraught, Shizuo practically freaked when he heard the cause of all of his troubles whisper unexpectedly in his ear. "Shizu-chan…"

"N-NO!" The blond yelped, his heart racing. "I-I mean, ye-yeah, what, what's wrong, I-Izaya?"

"…" The informant stared at him for a few seconds before smiling and leaning over to kiss Shizuo's cheek. "Mmm…"

"I-Izaya?" Shizuo stuttered helplessly as the black-haired man drew back, winking a crimson eye. "My apologies, Shizu-chan~! You were just looking so cute and flustered there that I had to kiss you!"

Mortified brown eyes widened in horror and disbelief. "C-CUTE-" Shizuo was about to throw another fit of rage, but another squeeze from Izaya's hands reminded him of the situation he was in. He was beat up and exhausted, not to mention that he was being carried _bridal_ style by the most infuriating FLEA to ever walk the planet. Why was Shizuo even trying?

"G-gggh…" Grinding his teeth, the bodyguard jerked his gaze firmly down, purposefully avoiding Izaya. "Damn you, flea…"

Izaya simply snickered quietly. "Shizu-chan, we're almost at your house…"

Shizuo blinked, slightly startled. "O-oh…" Feeling self-conscious, the blond blushed again. "Ah… I… I better get down, then…" He muttered, silently cursing that fact that he had actually enjoyed being carried in Izaya's arms.

"Nooope~!" Izaya refused, squeezing Shizuo again as he nuzzled his face into the blond hair, already at the apartment door. "I'm not putting you down until we get inside of your house, Shizu-chan~!"

"Wh-what?" Shizuo barked, his face beet red once again. "B-but… flea, you need to put me down! How can you open the door when you're carrying me like this? YOU NEED A HAND TO TURN THE KNOB!"

"…"

"…"

"Hmmm…" The thoughtful, almost childish expression on Izaya's face would have been comical if Shizuo wasn't feeling so indignant/horrified-with-his-past-choice-of-words at the moment. "That is a problem…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

Shizuo's eye gave a twitch. "…Izaya… glaring at the door isn't going to get it open, just fucking put me down already!"

Ignoring what his boyfriend had said, the informant gave a sigh and gently shifted Shizuo's weight in his arms.

"F-flea?"

"Shizu-chan, could you please wrap your legs around my waist?" Izaya asked hopefully, grinning down widely at Shizuo.

Shizuo's jaw dropped open. "WHAT? WHAT? _WHAT? _**WHAT?**"

"Your legs. Wrap. Around. My waist."

"AND JUST WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT?"

Izaya gave a little shrug. "Well… seeing as this door won't open by itself, the only way I can open it while balancing Shizu-chan in my arms is if Shizu-chan wraps his legs around my waist~! Then, while Shizu-chan is supporting himself, I can then open the door! Doesn't it make sense?"

"UM," Shizuo said loudly, his anger clashing with his blushing face, "WHAT ABOUT YOU JUST LETTING ME WALK IN ON MY OWN, DAMN IT!" Shizuo's instincts were strongly urging him that this was a very bad idea. Of course, Shizuo's instincts also had strongly urged him to yank stop signs out of the ground and throw them at… people, but still…

"Not an available option." Izaya replied cheerfully, the familiar, irritating smirk in place. Soon, however, his face softened a bit. "It's just for a little while, Shizu-chan. All I'm going to do is open the door, and then lay you down on the coach, okay?"

"…do I even have a damn choice?" Shizuo mumbled grumpily, fidgeting against Izaya's chest. "F-fine, flea, let's just get this over with!" Blushing furiously, the blond hesitantly separated his legs in an awkward attempt to maneuver them around Izaya's midriff. "I-I just put out m-my legs like thi-AGH!" The former bartender squawked in alarm as he loss balance. "Iz-"

"Ah-" Izaya hastily wrapped his arms around Shizuo and pinned him against the door to prevent him from falling. Unfortunately (or not, depending on the way you looked at it), this left them in a very…. Suggestive position.

"…"

"…"

"…"

Once again, there was nothing but awkward silence as the two could only stare speechlessly into the other's face.

"…"

Surprisingly, Izaya was the first to turn his gaze away, his features slightly embarrassed as he fiddled with the door knob.

"…" By now, Shizuo was sure he was about to have a permanent red stain on his face as he uncomfortably pressed his legs around Izaya, praying that this would just be OVER…

"Agh-" As Izaya stumbled through the door, carrying Shizuo toward the couch, it would extremely easy for someone to… _misunderstand_ the situation…

The poor blond almost sighed in relief as he was deposited gently onto the furniture, beyond caring that it was the spot where he had almost lost his… his… his phone! Yes, Shizuo almost lost his phone there, since the flea had made him drop it and made out with him and took off Shizuo's shi…

He should probably just stop thinking now. "…thanks, flea…" He felt Izaya's lips brush his forehead in response.

"…your medical supplies are in the bathroom, right?"

"Huh?" Shizuo said, half-dazed from all that had happened and half-relieved that Izaya did, in fact, NOT know that much about Shizuo's bathroom… "…oh… yeah. Why?"

Izaya stood up. "Stay here… I'll be right back-"

"W-wait, Izaya, you're… you're not actually going to…" Shizuo half-sat up on the couch. "Fl-flea, this is no big deal, I've been in worst-" The flea simply lifted Shizuo's hand and kissed it, silencing the blond.

"I don't care." The black-haired man responded peevishly. "If my Shizu-chan is hurt, I want to make sure that he gets better, so wait here." Before his boyfriend could stutter yet another protest, the man had already loped gracefully to the next room.

"…" Shizuo stared after him before sighing and closing his eyes in resignation for the second time that night. He was already past the point of caring, wasn't he? Besides, the man was secretly enjoying (although, he'd never admit it out loud, of course) the gentle, concerned way Izaya was handling him. It almost reminded him of how he used to be treated as a child, before the pudding incident…

The blond man hastily opened his eyes as he heard the sound of Izaya padding back into the room, armed with a box of band-aids and a concerned scowl.

"Only one box of band-aids, Shizu-chan, really?" The informant lectured as he set the box down before pushing Shizuo's sleeve up his right arm. "And it wasn't even opened… what would Shinra say if he were here? You need to be more considerate of your body…"

Shizuo raised a blond eyebrow as he helped Izaya roll his sleeve back. "Shinra probably doesn't give a damn about what's in my medical cabinet, flea. And as if you're one to talk, sheesh…"

Eyes narrowing, Izaya simply gave Shizuo another disapproving scowl, the serious effect ruined by the fact that he was aimlessly flapping a band-aid paper away from his coat.

Not much was said as Izaya placed a band-aid on the largest cuts Shizuo had sustained… no injury required super glue, though.

"…"

"…"

"…"

Shizuo couldn't take anymore of the sight of Izaya's pouting when he was done. He burst into laughter, much to the indignation of the other.

Still chuckling, Shizuo placed his hand on Izaya's. "Ahahahaha, ah, flea, what's the matter? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Izaya glared at him childishly. "Hmph! I was expecting a more guilty reaction from you, Shizu-chan!"

Amused by the sudden switch of moods between them, the blond leaned toward his boyfriend playfully. "Aah, poor louse… would it make you feel better if I kissed you?"

"Eh?" Red eyes widened at Shizuo's words.

Realizing what he had just said, Shizuo blushed furiously and suddenly seemed very interested on a spot on the ceiling.

"…" This time, it was Izaya's turn to chuckle before lifting Shizuo's chin. "So you do have a _coy_ side to you… it suits you well." His cheeks still flushing, Shizuo pressed a light kiss to the corner of the familiar smirk and pulled back. "…f-feel better now, flea?"

Izaya laughed, caressing the side of Shizuo's face. "Yes, very much, thank you, Shizu-chan… should I return the favor?"

Shutting his eyes against Izaya's warm breath, the blond tilted his face toward Izaya, mumbling uncomfortably. "…Just… just kiss me. My mouth. It hurts. Make it feel better, flea…"

Izaya complied, meeting Shizuo's lips eagerly, leaning his head to capture the blond's delicious mouth again.

Abashed at having used cliché words, the former bartender parted his lips willingly and let Izaya entwine their tongues passionately. Lost in the rush of excitement and weakness that always engulfed him with Izaya, Shizuo kissed back and allowed the informant to do as he pleased, until…

…He felt two pale hands greedily cupping his ass.

"…"

_Zoom._

A bit of drool hanging out of his mouth, Izaya looked listlessly from his hands to the other _far _end of the couch, three feet away, where Shizuo was sitting with a rather _forced _grin on his face. "…huh?"

"…"

"I-I wonder what's on TV." The blond said loudly while fumbling for the remote. "I, I bet there's probably some good… good… stuff on… w-wait, that… gah! I mean… the news! Th-the news is always interesting, we should watch it… huh? …wh…. Wait, wh-where was the button to even turn this thing on-" Shizuo froze as he felt Izaya's hand close over his own. "Uh-"

Smiling happily, Izaya took out a band-aid and wrapped it carefully around Shizuo's index finger and kissed it. "Missed one. I deeply apologize, my princess. I just can't seem to keep my hands off of your beautiful b… body…"

An eye already twitching, Shizuo jerked his head away. "D-don't try to push it, flea…"

Izaya snickered before plopping down next to Shizuo and swiping the remote. "All right, let's watch TV, then. But not the news… maybe we can find a movie with your brother in it…"

Shizuo glanced at Izaya questioningly. "Why not?"

…_INFORMANT SEEN STABBING HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT…_ "…news makes such an unromantic atmosphere." Izaya answered cheerfully, sliding his hand out on the couch.

Shizuo found himself rolling his eyes before doing the same, intertwining his fingers with Izaya's. "…" The brown eyes softened as he felt the band-aid on his fingers. "…flea?"

"Hm?" Izaya said absentmindedly, flicking through the channels.

"…thank you…"

* * *

_An hour later…_

They actually did find an airing movie that starred Kasuka. However, it was a horror movie, not a romantic comedy, much to Izaya's disappointment. The best he could have hoped for was Shizuo cuddled up to him in terror at the gory parts, but Shizuo was still Shizuo and did no such thing. And with Izaya being Izaya, both of them found the movie rather boring by the middle of it. Of course, Shizuo would never tell Kasuka that.

"…Izaya, it's kind of late, but do you want anything to eat?" Shizuo asked, having gotten up and walked around the kitchen.

Immediately, a vision of maid Shizuo serving Izaya food filled man's head. _"Izaya-sama…" _"…eheeheeheeh…" A bit of drool started leaking out of the black-haired man's mouth once again.

Fortunately for Shizuo, he had his back turned, and did not see the creepy look in his boyfriend's eyes. Wondering what he could possibly cook for the flea, the blond was about to open his refrigerator, when…

_DOK! _A loud knocking sound at the door caught both of the men's attention.

"Huh?" Shizuo blinked. "Is someone at the door?"

Izaya waved a hand nonchalantly. "Ignore it, it's probably the hukahukas coming to kidnap you away from me."

Not hearing what Izaya had said, Shizuo started to the door hesitantly. "It couldn't… be Kasuka, could i-MMF?" Eyes wide in panic, Izaya clamped a hand over Shizuo's mouth, pulling the blond closer to him with his other arm. "Sssh, Shizu-chan… we're not here, WE'RE NOT HERE…." The informant whispered dramatically, staring at the door as if rabid fangirls were on the other side.

"…"

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Shizuo yanked Izaya's hand away from his mouth before stomping to the door, flinging it open to see…

"Pizza?" Shizuo furrowed his eyebrows, confused. "…last time I checked, I didn't order a pizza…" Picking up the warm cardboard box, the bodyguard turned quizzically in the doorway only to find himself face to face with Izaya. "GAH! FLEA! WHAT THE HELL?"

"IT _BETTER_ NOT TO BE FROM ONE OF SHIZU-CHAN'S 'ADMIRERS'…" Izaya growled possessively, seizing the box from the startled Shizuo. "Only I can be Shizu-chan's admirer…"

"…" Shizuo watched his paranoid boyfriend actually sniff the box suspiciously before face-palming himself.

"C-cut it out, Izaya…" He mumbled, glancing back outside to see if there was anyone there. …On second thought, perhaps he shouldn't. With that thought in mind, the blond hastily closed the door.

As he walked back into the kitchen, the sight of his boyfriend and the pizza box having a one-sided glaring contest greeted him.

"…"

"…"

"…"

If red lasers came out from Izaya's eyes and incinerated the cardboard, Shizuo would not be the least bit surprised.

"…fl-flea… if you don't like the damn pizza, then you can just throw it away, you know…" The blond suggested weakly, half expecting the pizza box (or even the pizza) to shrink in terror at the glower it was receiving from the informant.

"…no…" Izaya muttered bad-temperedly, flipping open the cover of the box. "I actually want to eat it." The pizza was cheese. And plain…

Shizuo was ready to groan in frustration at this confession. "Then just eat the goddamn thing!"

"I can't!" The man exclaimed scandalously, his eyes bulging at the innocent-looking lump of cheese, sauce, and dough. "What if it's poisoned? Or worst… what if it's filled with love potion meant for Shizu-chan?"

"...um." said Shizuo.

"THAT'S IT!" Izaya suddenly declared, lifting the pizza box determinedly. "I'LL EAT IT! NO MATTER HOW LETHAL THE POISON OR HOW STRONG THE LOVE POTION, MY FEELINGS FOR SHIZU-CHAN WILL OVERTHROW THEM ALL!"

"…good for you, flea." Shizuo muttered quietly, ready to tiptoe quietly out of the room.

"…but, if it's really poison…" Izaya continued, his voice dropping an octave, "Then…. I MUST AT LEAST HAVE SHIZU-CHAN TO FEED IT TO ME!" The informant declared brazenly, pointing a dramatic finger at the blond, who immediately protested.

"WHAT? Th-that's stupid, flea!"

"How cruel of you, Shizu-chan! I'm about to die from poisoning, and you deny my last request?"

"You're not making any damn sense! IT'S NOT POISONED! E-even if the stupid pizza is poisoned, doesn't that make me a murderer if I f-feed the pizza to you, flea?"

"Shizu-chaaaaaaaan~" Izaya held the box in front of him, staring at Shizuo with beseeching eyes. "Please?"

"…"

"…"

"I swear, Izaya…" Shizuo grumbled, stomping over to the table and seizing a slice of pizza. "Fine! Open your mouth!"

"Oh, demanding, are you, Shizu-chan?"

"DO YOU WANT ME TO THIS TO YOU OR NOT, DAMN IT!" The blond choked out, bright red. It was hard to tell whether he was more mad or more embarrassed… most likely the latter.

Izaya simply gave a coy smile before opening his mouth widely. Trying to remain irritated, Shizuo hastily offered the slice of pizza to him.

Keeping eye contact with Shizuo, Izaya _slowly_ bit into the tip of the pizza, drawing back with a string of cheese dangling from his mouth, his red eyes lighting up mischievously-

_SPLAT! _ Shizuo roughly shoved the rest of the pizza unceremoniously into Izaya's mouth before turning away hurriedly.

"BLGGGRG-" Choking, the informant swallowed it. "G… Shizu-chan! What kind of feeding was that?"

"I'm not going to let you scar fucking pizza for me, flea!" The blond grumbled back, taking a piece of pizza for himself before wolfing it down, his back turned to Izaya. "And it doesn't seem like it's fucking poisoned either!"

Izaya fanned his mouth indignantly. "I wasn't going to _scar_ pizza for you, Shizu-chan… I was only going to… make it a little more interesting, ehehe…"

"…" Shizuo glared at hims suspiciously before wiping his face of any possible dabs of tomato sauce. A repeat of the ice cream incident was the last thing Shizuo needed...

...

Of course, needing and wanting are two different things...

* * *

_Bedtime..._

Izaya raised an eyebrow. "Shizu-chan? Why are you bringing pillows to the couch? ...you're not planning anything, are you?" He added hopefully.

"I'm going to sleep here." Shizuo answered gruffly, ignoring his boyfriend's last comment. "You already know where my bed is, so... yeah." He was about to lay the first pillow down when a pale hand snatched his wrist. "Flea?"

The informant laughed lightly before shaking his head. "Shizu-chan, I'll sleep there, okay? And it's fine... last time I slept on the floor, remember?"

Shizuo felt his cheeks begin to heat up. Izaya... Izaya really had slept on the floor that time... "But-"

"No buts." Izaya cut in firmly, snatching the pillow away from Shizuo.

"FLEA! GET BACK HERE!"

"Or what?"

"Or..." Shizuo clenched his wrists. "...or... I'LL THROW THIS PILLOW AT YOU!" The blond warned, brandishing the object.

"Ah, how scary, how scary!" Izaya giggled. "I surrend-" The rest of his sentence was cut off as Shizuo's pillow went flying into his face, practically knocking him off his feet. "OOF! HOW DARE YOU, SHIZU-CHAN!"

"Ahaha-" Shizuo ran to the couch, holding his hands over his head as Izaya chased after him, armed with the pillow. "GET BACK HERE!"

* * *

_Ten minutes of them fighting over the couch after the pillows were destroyed..._

"..." Shizuo coughed awkwardly before turning away from Izaya. "...l-let's just sleep in my bed."

Izaya blinked twice. "...are... you sure?"

"O-of course..." The blond stuttered nervously. "...there's enough room for the two of us, right?"

"..."

"...okay..."

Shizuo's bed... had never felt so foreign to him.

...Lying next to Izaya... was just too awkward for the blond. He didn't dare to turn around as he and Izaya were turned in opposite direction, faced away from each other. "..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Okay, I can't take this." Izaya finally said, sitting up slightly as the covers rustled. "I feel like we're a couple going through a divorce."

"...WH-WHAT?" Shizuo squawked, hastily turning around to face him in the darkness. The black-haired man simply grabbed Shizuo's hand before lying back down again.

"..." The blond blinked, staring at the red eyes. They almost seemed to glow in the darkness around them... "...good night, flea." Shizuo muttered reluctantly, sliding back down under his blanket and shutting his eyes tight.

"...night, Shizu-chan." Izaya acknowledged softly, his eyes still staring at the blond. "..."

"..."

"..."

Izaya spoke up again. "I can live without sex."

"...WHAAAAAAAT?" For the second time that night, Shizuo bolted up, only to see sincere crimson smiling back at him.

"...For now, this is enough for me." Izaya continued, his voice a quiet whisper.

"..."

"..."

"G-GOOD!" The flustered man stammered out before flinging himself down and burrowing his face in his pillow, half expecting it to catch on fire from the heat in his cheeks.

Izaya laughed.

Long after Shizuo had fallen asleep, the informant was still awake, gazing at the blond man as he caressed the hand in his gently. "..."

"..." He supposed this was where the part he was supposed to whisper quietly "I love Shizu-chan." But that was too cliche, too unreal... and too human for Orihara Izaya.

"..."

"..."

The man's lips parted slightly. "...I-"

"...mmm..." Tossing in his sleep, Shizuo groaned before suddenly snuggling up to the startled Izaya. "...wh..." Hardly breathing, Izaya stared at the sleeping man with wide eyes.

"..." His eyes closed peacefully, the blond man smiled a little in his sleep. "...I... Izaya..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Izaya gave in and gently wrapped his arms around his uke. "You really are too cute for your own good, Shizu-chan."

* * *

**YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I DID IT! :D Yes, Ginger, you totally inspired this! Now I have to run! 0_0"**

**...**

**...**

**...REVIEW PLEASE! :D**


	16. Bananas and Breakfast

**A/N: ...forgive me... for this late update... but to make up for it, I made this chapter really long! =) ...not sure if it's that good, though. ^^" ...a whole lot more of fluff here... and... awkwardness... and randomness. XD I really, really, REALLY appreciate your reviewing! You make me caramell dance in joy! :D**

**The One Who Observes****: T~T Awwww... thank you so much... that made me feel so happy... T T**

**xen665: Aaaah, thank you... ^0^ I love Shizuo here too~~**

**hpalabay: OMG, THANK YOU SO MUCH! T~T ...ah... I-I don't think I'm that talented, but thank you, still! ...sorry that you were waiting for so long... ^_^"**

**NeutronStarsCollide: XD Thanks! I liked that part myself... I'm so glad you thought it was funny, and I'm glad it brightened your Sunday! ^.^ THANK YOU~~~~**

**l-ink: Lol, thanks... and... don't worry, I will, heehee... ;D**

**Sarah32138: Personally, I think you and all the other reviewers are what's awesome, but hey, thanks! ^0^**

**Purianee: AAAAAAAAAAH THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'M SO HAPPY!**

**Dreaming Rain: XDDDDDDDD Izaya wouldn't be too happy if you did that... Thank you! I'm... *running out of happy words* ...very ecstatic you found that funny! :D **

**Uccan: XD Thank you...**

**rebecca.folan: ...ehhh... thank you? :D**

**Allen.Nara: Haah, I wish I could say hard work, but it was more like crap put together and uploaded at the very very last last last minute before I had yo leave to catch a plane. XD But thank you! I loved that line as well! ^.^**

**Ginger Blackmore: Haha, your comment made me lol so much... Thank you... I loved it... -^.^- *is currently in too much of a happy mode to form a nice response* ...but like I managed to type in my uber rush, you really did inspire practically the entire chapter! :D**

**Queliet Kuro Shiroyama: AAAAAAAH! Hello again! ^.^ XD Yes, so do I, but that's why I just love it! X)**

**...whoa. This author note... is way too long... ah, can't be helped. X) Sorry, and enjoy the chapter...**

**

* * *

**

_BE-BE-BE-BEEP! BE-BE-BE-BEEP! BE-BE-BE-BEEP! BE-BE-BE-BEEP! BE-BE-BE-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP -BEEP-BEEP-_

"Ah, fuck…" Shizuo grumbled half-heartily as the annoying sound of his alarm clock/bomb penetrated the room's silence, as well as his sleep. "Damn clock-" Turning himself around, the blond struggled to get up, but something warm seemed to be holding him in place. "Wha-" The brown eyes widened in realization.

_BE-BEEP-BEEP-_

_WHIIZ. __**THUNK! **_**CRACK!**

"…" Grimacing, Shizuo glanced at the remains of his alarm clock as he felt Izaya lower his right arm and once more wrap the limb around Shizuo's waist. "…" The blond turned his gaze back to his boyfriend's peaceful, _innocent_ face… Just how could Izaya have such precise aim with his eyes closed? Or… was the informant even fully awake?

In his tired state, Shizuo decided he did not need to know. Closing his eyes and sighing, the ex-bartender rested his face against the crook of Izaya's neck, his hands curling in the warm black shirt as he allowed the black-haired man to bury his head in Shizuo's hair, the sheets rustling as-

_GONG!_

…

…

Shizuo's eyes jerked open. …WAIT… WAIT… WAIT JUST A MINUTE… SHEETS? BED? IZAYA? SHIZUO? WARM? SHIRT? ALARM CLOCK? **WHAT**?

For the second time, the blond craned his head up and got a good look at his surroundings. "…agh-" Shizuo's entire face immediately reddened, incoherent sounds choking out of his mouth.

He… he was in a bed. With Izaya. WITH IZAYA. AND… if that didn't make matters worst... the two of them were… were… were cuddling… Shizuo half buried his face into Izaya's shirt in shame. When… what… when in the night did they suddenly… become so… so close? The last thing that Shizuo remembered was the two of them simply holding hands and drifting off to sleep, like little children or something…

The blond stifled a groan of despair. Apparently, Shizuo still moved around in his sleep… True, Izaya did have his arms around the blond, but they were both sprawled on the flea's side of the bed, not Shizuo's, so, that meant that Shizuo… Shizuo…

"…g-gh…" Deciding to try and act normal, the blushing blond got up. Or, rather, tried to. "…I… Izaya?"

"…" His eyes still closed, Izaya gave a barely recognizable sound of acknowledgement, half muffled from Shizuo's hair. "…mmm…"

Shizuo could feel that eye starting to twitch again. "…It's… it's morning… so… um…" The blond coughed loudly, trying to tug at the arms that were wrapped in an iron grip around his waist.

"…oh." Shizuo felt Izaya's face leave his hair, and for a moment, the blond expected the arms to finally loosen their grip. Unfortunately, they did not.

Izaya kissed the blond on the lips lightly before once more nuzzling into his head. "Morning, Shizu-chan…"

"…"

"…"

If only this position would allow him to face-palm… Shizuo's eye twitched. "…Fl-flea, it's time to get up! …so… if you would mind…" Once more, he tugged meaningfully at the black clad arms around his waist. "Izaya…"

"…" For a few seconds, all he could hear was silence, until the warm breath hit his hair again. "…not… time to get up yet, Shizu-chan." The informant muttered, sounding like a drowsy four year old child, and while Shizuo did secretly admit that it was cute, and that he did enjoy the kiss Izaya gave him, as well as the warmth from the man's body against his… IT WAS TIME TO GET UP.

With that thought firmly in mind, Shizuo sighed before turning around slightly. At this movement, Izaya's eyes finally snapped open. "…what… is Shizu-chan doing now?"

"Like I said before, it's time to get up!" The blond growled, succeeding in turning completely in Izaya's arms so that his back was pressed against the informant's chest. "S-so… we need to get up!"

"It is not time to get up." Izaya protested, his tone drowsy as he planted a kiss on Shizuo's head. "Mm…"

"I-it is!" Shizuo sputtered, wishing he could just break free of Izaya's hold, if it weren't for the chance that he might break both of his boyfriend's arms in the process. THAT… THAT WAS THE ONLY REASON WHY… IT… IT WASN'T LIKE SHIZUO _ENJOYED_ IT OR ANYTHING…. "Th-the sun is UP!" The blond declared loudly, hunching his shoulders and bringing his elbows to the ground.

"No, the sun is not UP!" A sense of immature stubbornness could now be heard in Izaya's voice as he tightened his hold on Shizuo. "The very reason why I decided to silence Shizu-chan's alarm clock was because it was set far too early! The sun has yet to appear above the horizon in Japan… Can't you see the darkness outside?"

"I can't see anything, thanks to you holding me like this, damn it!" Shizuo grumbled, flailing his arms against Izaya's grip. "Let go of me, flea!"

"No. This is partly Shizu-chan's fault for snuggling up to me in the first place." Izaya replied doggedly, his hold unfaltering.

Shizuo blushed heavily at the confirmation of what he had done. "Gah…" His arms paused for a moment. "W-well, th-that's not the point!" Shizuo slowly rose up to get on his hands and knees, struggling with Izaya's weight pushing him down. "Ggggrgh…"

"Hm?" The red eyes above him blinked. "Shizu-chan, what are you doing?"

"G-getting u-up…" The blond gritted out as he stood crookedly, pulling Izaya up with him as the informant's arms _still_ enveloped his midriff. "If you're too dense to notice that it's morning, then I'll just show you myself!"

"Oh?" Opening his eyes midway, Izaya rested his head on the blond's shoulder. "You know that I'm not going to let you go…"

"I KNOW." Shizuo snarled bad-temperedly, stomping toward the window with Izaya dragging behind him. Flinging open the curtains, Shizuo looked out triumphantly to see-

"…"

"…"

"Wha?" The blond said as he was greeted by… darkness. "…you… have got to be kidding me…" Shizuo groaned as he felt sleepy chuckles in his ear.

"What did I tell you, Shizu-chan?" Izaya giggled, kissing the stunned man's cheek. "Now, let's go back to bed- eh?"

His face frozen in shock, Shizuo slowly started to tip over.

"Ah-" Izaya sweat-dropped, most of his drowsiness gone as Shizuo leaned most of his weight into him. "Sh-Shizu-chan? Shizu-chan…. Wh-what are you doing? H-hey, Shizu-chan… Shizu-chan, ehehe, Shizu-chan stop, I'm going to get squashed if you do that- ECK!"

**BANG! CRASH!**

"…owww…" Closing one eye in pain, Izaya shifted Shizuo in his arms, his back (and his butt, too) protesting at the hard impact on the floor. "Shizu-chan, you should be more considerate of your lover when dropping down like that-"

Ignoring Izaya, Shizuo simply grabbed the covers and pulled them up to his head, burying his face in Izaya's shirt while resting his arms on his shoulders.

"…"

"…"

The black-haired man stared down at the blond before smiling in satisfaction and hugging Shizuo back tightly. "Mmm… my adorable Shizu-chan… ahahaha!"

* * *

_When the sun actually is up…_

"…"

"…"

"…huh?" Shizuo blinked drowsily, his hands tangled in his sheets. "Wha… wha?" Dazed, he rolled on his side, alone in his bed-

_GONG!_

"…" Shizuo's eyes snapped open. WAIT. ALONE?

Rising up wildly, the blond hurled the sheets away him, panic rushing through his head. Where on earth did the flea go?

Running around his apparently Izaya-devoid apartment, the blond frantically yanked open the door to the only possible place Izaya could be, practically destroying it in the process. "IZAYA!" Shizuo yelled, rushing into the room. "ARE Y-"

"…"

"…" Shizuo's mouth dropped open, along with the extra banging sound effect.

"Huh? Shizu-chan? What is it?" Blinking his eyes, the informant stared back at Shizuo, rubbing his hair with a towel, which would not be so jaw-dropping if… IZAYA WASN'T NAKED. As in… COMPLETELY NAKED. NOT EVEN A... A... LEAF COVERING... THERE... IT WAS JUST... JUST...

"…" The blond just stared at Izaya wordlessly, unable to control the movement of his eyes. "…uh."

..._BANG!_

Now sincerely puzzled, Izaya took a step toward Shizuo. "What's wrong-"

_BANG!_

"…"

The black-haired man blinked again as he realized that Shizuo… was no longer there. "…huh?"

On the other side of the door, the poor blond buried his fists in his hair, panting heavily. "Gah… gah… gah… gah… gah…" How could he have been so stupid? OF COURSE IZAYA WOULD BE TAKING A SHOWER! WHY IN THE NAME OF DULLAHANS DIDN'T HE KNOCK FIRST? WHY DID HE EVEN PANIC LIKE THAT? Blushing heavily, Shizuo covered his mouth, willing himself not to think about what he had seen…

"Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it…" The bodyguard muttered in rapid breaths, his cheeks still bright red. "Agh… shit… I… I need to think about something… something… something… u-um… um… um…"

"…"

Shizuo bit his lip, his eyes roving back and forth unseeingly. "Ah, ah, ah… OH! TH-THE SUN! YES, THE SUN! It's… the sun is big… very big… …big…"

His eyes now hidden under his hair, the blond started to fidget once more. "Erm… R-really big… and… and… and YELLOW! Y-yeah, yellow… l-like… lemons! R-ripe lemons… and… and giraffes… and… and…" Shizuo blinked. "A-ah, my hair dye, too… and… and… and… almost like the color of that pudding Kasuka stole from me… the color of Shinra's puke that once time when Celty poked him too hard…"

Not realizing how much he was rambling on about out loud, Shizuo started to pace the corridor rapidly as he tried his best to recall anything that was yellow. "…s-speaking of Celty, her helmet's also got a yellow color, no? And… and… and… buildings! I-I'm sure there are a lot of buildings that are yellow… I… I can't just think of any right now… er… um… The middle traffic light… thingy… ah, some of the street signs I rip out, too… erm… French fries, canaries, cheese, corn, um…" The blond paused again.

"…Ah, that's right!" Shizuo added, thumping his fist into the palm of his other hand. "Bananas! Bananas are yellow! …now that I think of it… I guess I do like bananas… let's… try think about bananas… erm… bananas… are a fruit… they're green if they're too young, and… and brown if they're too old, and… they're also long-shaped… long shapeish… kind of like.. like… like…" Eyes wide in horror, Shizuo slowly trailed off in his speech. "….uh…"

"…"

"…"

Meanwhile, still in the bathroom, Izaya felt that he had given Shizuo enough time to recover from the sight of his awesome sexy body. Dressed in his usual jeans and black shirt, he opened the door... It... did not take him too long to spot Shizuo standing in the doorway. "…Shizu-"

"IZAYA!" Shizuo suddenly wailed, squeezing his eyes shut and grabbing into his boyfriend's shirt, "WH-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU SEE A BANANA?" The blond demanded, his eyes almost watery-looking with anxiousness.

"…"

"…huh?" Izaya gaped stupidly, his red eyes widening in surprise. He was half-expecting a punch to the gut (or worst), but not… not… not…bananas… What did he think of bananas anyway- WAIT. BANANAS?

This time, it was the black-haired man's turn to drop his jaw, his heart starting to pound in his chest. Bananas… bananas… BANANAS ARE… could this mean that… that… bananas… bananas… what he saw when Izaya was… bananas… bananas…

Feeling excitement tense in his stomach, Izaya hastily took Shizuo's hands in his and gazed determinedly in the blond's distressed face. "Shi-Shizu-chan!"

"Y-yes?" Shizuo hastily stammered, his face still flushed noticeably.

"I…" Izaya gulped before continuing. He had to be careful, he didn't want to scare his Shizu-chan, if this was really… really it… "…I… I think bananas are… are…"

"…."

"…a… a wonderful… type of fruit…"

"Y-yeah!" Sounding desperate, the blond clutched Izaya's hands, nodding vigorously. "Th… they're very good for you, aren't they?"

"E-excellent for your health…" Izaya muttered back, feeling a drop of sweat slide down his face, despite the fact that his hair was still wet. "Um… Th… they're a nice color too, don't you think so?"

"S-sure…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Um…"

Out of nowhere, Shizuo groaned in frustration and smacked himself. "GAH!"

"Shi-Shizu-cha-" Alarmed, Izaya raised a hand to Shizuo, only to find the blond smiling at him cheerfully. "…Shizu-chan?"

"Fl-flea, how about we just start this conversation over, okay?" Grinning a little _too_ happily, Shizuo tilted his head. "Good morning, Izaya…"

"…"

"…uh…" Izaya stared at Shizuo before coughing hastily. "G-good morning, Shizu-chan…"

The two stared at each other in silence for several seconds. Shizuo spoke up again. "It's… it's a nice day, isn't it?"

"It is." Izaya agreed, nodding his head. Of course, he would have still nodded his head if the weather outside was comparable to an Antarctic blizzard.

Shizuo started fiddling with his fingers nervously, suddenly developing a keen interest in the floor. "Er, um… uh… h-how was your shower?" The blond stuttered out, noticeable patches of red forming on his cheeks.

"Ah-" Izaya hastily averted his eyes as well. "I-it was really… really refreshing… thank you very much, Shizu-chan… I… I hope I didn't take too long-"

"Oh no, oh no, you didn't, n-not at all!" Shizuo reassured earnestly, leaning over and giving Izaya a quick kiss on the cheek. "N-now that you're done, though, I-I'm going to take a shower, then, okay?"

"Oh… okay…" The black-haired man found himself saying to a now closed bathroom door. "…"

"…"

"…"

For a few minutes, Izaya stared at the door. "…"

"…"

"…I suppose it was a good thing that there was a spare towel in there…" The informant muttered to himself. "…WAIT, WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?" Izaya yelled out loud, grabbing his hair while sinking to the floor dramatically. "I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT AT ALL!"

The man hastily got up and began pacing wildly in the hall, not unlike what Shizuo had been doing earlier. "What did he mean, bringing up bananas after a… that situation? Was that supposed to imply anything? Does this mean we're closer to sex or does it mean we're even FARTHER? …why do I have a strong feeling that it's the latter?" Izaya muttered unhappily, starting to slump.

"Isn't it obvious?" A voice from his shoulder asked. Lounging on it _again_, was the devil Izaya chibi, a smirk clear on his face. "He's _embarrassed_."

"Which could mean a good thing AND a bad thing…" The angel Izaya chibi added, sending a glower to the devil chibi.

The devil chibi laughed. "Well, I guess Shizu-chan's really knows NOW of what's going to happen when we finally get t-"

"I detect a highly nervous and confused atmosphere." The angel chibi cut in frostily.

"Sexual tension~" The devil chibi sang out. The angel chibi coughed loudly. "It appears Shizu-chan might be experiencing some conflicting emotions…"

Izaya furrowed his brow. "Conflicting emotions?" His eyes suddenly sparkled hopefully as he clasped his hands together. "COULD THIS MEAN THAT-"

"It means you better not do anything to mess up." The angel chibi said bluntly, causing the stars shining around Izaya to disappear with little clouds. "…oh…" The informant mumbled dejectedly. The devil chibi sighed. "Man, this would have been so easy if you guys were just horny teenagers…"

"Hmm…" Izaya scratched his head. "Well, since Shizu-chan is still having doubts, I won't try any serious advances on him. But…" The informant suddenly stood up triumphantly. "BECAUSE THERE IS NOW SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN US, THAT MEANS I AM GETTING _CLOSER_!"

"…"

"…"

The devil chibi flicked his horns before shrugging. "All I can say is this: what will happen will happen. Stop wracking your brain over it and relax."

"For once, I agree…" The angel chibi muttered reluctantly. "Just be considerate of Shizu-chan's feelings-"

"More importantly," the devil chibi interrupted, winking wickedly, "Shizu-chan IS taking a shower right now, if you know I mean, ehehehe…"

"…Eh?"

"...Ahem. Shizu-chan. Shower. Naked. Ring any bells?"

"..." _Click. _Izaya's blank expression slowly turned into another evil grin as he made the angel chibi disappear before he could make any protests. "KUKUKUKUKUKU…"

* * *

Shizuo groaned in his bathroom, still yet to have taken a shower. He couldn't believe… he had said something so stupid to Izaya… What was wrong with him?

But, still… Shizuo leaned against the counter, putting his fingers to his mouth. Izaya sure did have a hot body, though.

Upon realizing what he had just thought to himself, the blond panicked and began immediately conking his head against the surface of the counter.

_DONK, DONK, DONK, DONK, DONK, DONK, DONK, DONK, DONK-_

Meanwhile, Izaya, pressed up against the other side of the door, frowned. "What? Shizu-chan's not naked yet!" How he could tell when he wasn't peeping or eavesdropping, well, that was just the awesome power of Izaya.

Shizuo sighed depressingly. "If only I had just fucking _knocked_ then… and now, that flea might even leave while I'm in here… Why did I say I wanted a shower anyway?" The blond rubbed his neck wearily. "Agh, whatever. I might as well take one…" With that, he began to unbutton his shirt.

"AH!" Separated by a wall of wood, Izaya practically squealed in excitement. "He's stripping, he's STRIPPING, I can tell, I CAN TELL! MORE, SHIZU-CAHN, MORE!"

"…" It was a good thing that Izaya was alone in the hallway, as the said man was dancing in excitement. "SHIRT'S OFF, SHIRT'S OFF! NOW FOR THE PANTS- WHOA, THE PANTS CAME OFF FAST-" His eyes bulged when he realized what was next.

Shizuo finally yanked his boxers off, ready to hop into the shower, which was already running.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" Izaya yelled, now squashed against the door, as if trying to get to Shizuo as close as possible. "NOW HE'S NAKED~~~~~~! AAAAAAH!" His cheeks were starting to flush.

Mercifully unaware of what was going on outside of the bathroom, Shizuo stepped under the stream of water, sighing more happily as it hit his skin. "Ah… this feels better…"

Outside of the door, Izaya's speech had now gone completely incoherent as blood started to spurt out of his nose. "SHIZ-SHIZ-SHIZ-SHIZU-CHAAAAAAAAAAAN-"

Shizuo closed his eyes as he scrubbed his hair. "…Mmm…"

And that is how Orihara Izaya managed to have a rather amazing nosebleed without taking a single peek behind that poor bathroom door.

* * *

_Some time later…_

"Damn it!" Shizuo swore unhappily, searching for his phone, a towel resting on his shoulders. "I knew this would happen!" After finishing his shower, the bodyguard had tentatively left that bathroom... only to find himself alone in his apartment.

Shizuo sighed, looking slightly deflated. "...That flea left already… I should have told him to st-" The rest of his speech was cut off when a phone that wasn't his suddenly caught his eye. "…eh?"

Shizuo picked up the device hesitantly. "Izaya's... Izaya's phone? He left it here? But then… that means..." Shizuo hastily got up and walked toward his table. On it was his phone, and underneath it was a sheet of paper.

"…" Shizuo grimaced as he picked the paper up, remembering the first time Izaya had left a note for him…

_Shizu-chan…_

_Something came up, so I'll be back in twenty minutes at the most. I'm so sorry~ )X_

_Ah, and right now, it's 8:00, just to let you know. And, Shizu-chan when I come back…_

_LET ME IN! 0A0 PLEASE!_

_-Izaya. OXOXOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

"…" Shizuo blinked at the note. "He had… something to take care of? I wonder what is was…" He mused out loud to himself. "And… is this just my imagination, or does this paper kind of smell like blood?" The blond scrutinized the note carefully. "And… what is up with all of those stupid Xs, anyway?"

"…"

"…"

"Ah, well." Shrugging, Shizuo set the paper down and went into the kitchen. "It didn't sound like Izaya had breakfast yet… and it's about fifteen minutes before he gets back... Should I make something for him? I wonder what he might like…"

Several minutes afterward, Shizuo found himself flipping hotcakes on a frying pan while desperately trying not to forget the toast that was still browning in the toaster. NO, SHIZUO DID NOT HAVE _ANY_ BANANAS IN HIS HOUSE. ... but back to the story...

"..." The blond eyebrows furrowed as he very _gently_ tossed the pancake into the air, breathing a sigh of relief when it didn't hit the ceiling. Like... last time... and the time before that... and the time before that... ...

Unfortunately, it didn't seem that his nerves were still recovered from the... shower incident. Much to Shizuo's embarrassment, his hands were actually shaking as he set the plates down.

"Shit... why do I have to be so nervous?" Shizuo muttered angrily, a flush rising in his cheeks as he clenched his hair. Was it... because of the quality of the food? ...well, Shizuo certainly wasn't the best cook out there, but it wasn't like his cooking was terrible to the extreme... if he hadn't destroyed any part of the kitchen in the process, that is. And it wasn't like Izaya would insult his cooking either...

In the end, the blond supposed it was a mixture of nervousness and awkwardness, and maybe, just maybe slight anticipation that his boyfriend would eat the food cooked by him? "..."

Shizuo literally face-palmed at that. _Smack! _He was getting so... so... so... SO CORNY! He hastily busied himself with checking that he had turned the stove off safely.

* * *

"It's... it's already eight thirty..." Shizuo grumbled to himself. "Wh-what on earth could that flea be up t-" A familiar sound interrupted his complaining.

_Vrrrb. Vrrrb. __Vrrrb. __Vrrrb. __Vrrrb._

"Ah!" Shizuo hastily ran out of the kitchen, immediately spotting his phone on the table and being saved from the frantic procedure of tearing his house down in search for it.

"H-hello?" The blond answered after he had opened his phone. "Kasuka?"

"Good morning."

"M-morning..." Shizuo replied as he craned his neck out of his window, searching for Izaya. "H-how are things?"

"Fine..." Kasuka murmured. "Nii-san... you do remember my... last call, correct?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Nii-san?"

"AH..." The hand holding the phone tightened dangerously. "OF COURSE I REMEMBER, AHAHA, I'M NOT _THAT _FORGETFUL..." Shizuo suddenly changed his tone. "But don't worry, Izaya's not around right now." Even though... Shizuo was currently looking for him right now...

"Oh. G... I mean, I see." Shizuo held back a groan as he heard the tiny, practically inaudible note of relief in his brother's tone. "Anyhow, Nii-san, I can come to Ikebukuro to see you in three days."

"...three days?" Why... was Shizuo sensing this sudden ominous aura? "...th-that's great, then! I'm glad!"

"Me too." Kasuka said in a voice almost perfectly devoid of emotion. "...speaking of... Izaya-_san_... how has... _things_ been with him?" It was rather remarkable how the younger Heiwajima was able to clearly empathize those words in such a tone, but that was expected from such a talented actor.

"Oh, well..." Shizuo paused hesitantly as he opened the door and stepped out onto the streets, scanning for any sign of the said annoying louse. "He... he slept over last night."

"He did?"

"Y-yeah."

"...He slept on the couch, then?"

The blond brother blushed faintly. "Er... not... not exactly..."

"...what does you mean by not exactly?"

"...um... er... well, we... we kind of..." Shizuo's voice dropped several notches. "... ... ... ... ...slept... together... in the bed..."

Unfortunately for Shizuo, his younger brother was very much able to connect sentences after ten second pauses. "You... did-"

"GAAAAAH!" Shizuo yelled in frustration, grabbing his forehead with his free hand. "IT-IT WAS COMPLETELY INNOCENT! WE... ALL WE JUST DID WAS LIE DOWN NEXT TO EACH OTHER, THAT WAS ALL, KASUKA, I, I, I SWEAR! ...A-actually we did... hold hands... and then... we did cuddle a little... okay, _I _was the one who snuggled up to him at some point in the night when I was ASLEEP, BUT THAT WAS **ALL**, I TELL YOU!"

"..." Noticing the poor people in the streets who were all staring at him because of his outburst, Shizuo quickly gave them all an apologetic nod before hurrying off.

"...y-yeah, Kasuka, s-so that was all that happened." Shizuo mumbled lamely, hanging his head.

"...You... really do like this guy, don't you?"

The blond locks bolted back up, the brown eyes now wide in incredulity. "H-HUH? WH... WHAAAAAAT? WH-WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT A-ALL OF A SUDDEN?"

"I am your younger brother." Kasuka replied impassively. "I have known you for nineteen years of your life. During that span of time in which I was alive, you never snuggled up to anything. Never."

"..." Usually, by now, Shizuo would be crashing his head into a brick wall out of embarrassment and humiliation. This time, since he was searching for Izaya, however, the blond simply sighed, unable to stop a resigned grin coming onto his face. "...fine, fine..." Shizuo muttered, too preoccupied to notice the familiar scent assailing his nose. "I... I guess I do really like hi...HAAH?" For the second time that day, his jaw dropped, this time, in utter mortification.

In front of him, in broad daylight, Shizuo's infuriation, perverted, damn flea of an excuse of a boyfriend was sitting by a pile. A pile that was burning. Burning, as in, flames of fire were erupting from it. The burning pile was also made... out of burning clothes.

Clothes... that were bartender suits...

...so, in summary, Izaya was sitting in front of a burning pile of bartender suits, in the middle of a street on a bright morning. Oh, and the informant was also grinning/laughing in a rather disturbing way and occasionally poking a pile with a stick.

"..."

"..."

"..." _Twitch. _

"Nii-san? What is the matter?"

"K...Kasuka..." Shizuo managed to choke out, his eye twitching murderously, "I-I'll... I'll talk to you... later..." Shutting his phone closed, the blond stomped toward a certain black-haired man, ready to snap his neck in half. "I~~~~ZA~~~~YA~~~~~~~"

Meanwhile, the said black-haired man was initially unaware of his love's approach, and his concentration was fully on... the fire. "IT... MUST... _BURN_..." Izaya giggled hysterically, his stick jabbing the singed material into the center of the fire, causing the flames to flicker higher. That is, until the stick was rudely wrenched from his grasp and snapped in two. "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, FLEA?"

"AH, SHIZU-CHAN~!" Not seeming affected at all by the loss of his stick, Izaya wrapped his arms around the trembling bodyguard (Trembling in FURY, of course), and tenderly kissed the crook of his neck. "Mmm~"

"DAMN YOU, FLEA!" Shizuo screamed, trying fruitlessly to hurl the man away from him. "EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"

"Now, now, Shizu-chan, no need to sound so upset. This is rather small when you compare it too how much pollution is in Tokyo's air-"

"THE HELL WITH POLLUTION! YOU CAN'T JUST BURN A BUNCH OF CLOTHES IN THE STREET ONLY BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO, IZAYA!"

"Oh, don't worry, Shizu-chan, I didn't do this for only my purposes..." Izaya stated seriously, placing a hand on Shizuo's cheek. "The homeless people here can come and share the heat!"

"..."

"...I think the homeless bums are all freaked out by your creepy laughter, flea." Shizuo muttered grumpily. "A-anyway... th-this is why you were late?"

"Huh?" Izaya blinked at his boyfriend before stealing Shizuo's phone and checking the time. "E... EH? I-IT'S THAT LATE ALREADY?"

Shizuo rolled his eyes in disbelief. "...you... really got carried away by burning those-WHA?" The bodyguard yelped out in surprise as Izaya suddenly grabbed Shizuo's hands and dropped on his knees. "I-Izaya?"

"FORGIVE ME, SHIZU-CHAN." The informant muttered in an emo-like/dejected tone, his bangs covering his eyes. "...I... I guess that means I can't come back-"

The flustered blond hastily yanked his hands out of Izaya's grip, his anger forgotten. "A-agh! Quit- quit that, flea! Y-you can come back! It's... it's just that... um... um..." Blushing, Shizuo fidgeted with his fingers while seeming very interested in the ground, a pose that seemed to better suit a schoolgirl with a background of a school/buildings/cherry blossoms rather than a 1.85 meter tall blond with a background of a burning pile of clothes.

"...eh?" Popping his head up curiously, Izaya once again wrapped his arms around Shizuo, scanning the blond's face meticulously. "What is it, Shizu-chan, what is it, what is it, what is it~? Hmmm? Hmmm?"

"U-um..." His face once more red, Shizuo looked off to the side. "Erm... I... I..." He felt utterly stupid. Maybe he should just lie and then dump the whole breakfast down the trash later... it probably wasn't even that good, by now...

"Shizu-chan, tell me~!" Izaya cooed, hooking a finger under Shizuo's chin and tilting it.

"...imdbrkfst." Shizuo mumbled in a tone so fast and low, it was actually impossible for the human mind to comprehend

"...what?"

"...imdbrkfast."

"..." Frowning, Izaya pressed his forehead against Shizuo's. "What... what about "brkfast", Shizu-chan?"

His embarrassed eyes cast off stubbornly to the left of him, the words stumbled unevenly out of Shizuo's mouth. "...b-break..fast... m-made... f-for... y-y-y-you..."

Izaya blinked, temporarily dumbstruck. "Shizu-chan... made breakfast for... me? For... for me? Really? REALLY?" A huge grin erupted on the informant's face. "I MUST EAT SHIZU-CHAN'S COOKING AT ONCE!" With that, Izaya zoomed off, dragging a confused/embarrassed Shizuo behind him.

"W-w-wait, FLEA!" The blond protested, his free arm dangling wildly behind him. "B-but what about that FIRE you set?"

"What is my most adorable Shizu-chan talking about? I see no fire! Right now, the important thing is to get to Shizu-chan's cooking that I need to eat!"

"HUH? BUT... Y... YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE THE FIRE THERE? FLEA! THAT'S BAD! THAT'S **BAD**! IZAYA? **IZAYA! **IZAYAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

* * *

"Mmf, sccf, mmf, mmf-ggrb-"

"O-oi, flea, d-don't force it down like that, if you don't want to eat it, it's fine-"

"MMMMMMMM!" Izaya made an abrupt shaking motion of his head, sending bits of hotcake as well as drops of syrup everywhere. "MMMM! MMM! MMM! MMM! MMM! MMMMMMMMM!"

"..."

"...okay then." Shizuo rolled his eyes as he watched his boyfriend continue to dig into the hotcakes as if there was no tomorrow.

"...for goodness sake... just don't go choking yourself, then..." The blond muttered in a weary tone. Of course, deep down inside, he was secretly glad that Izaya was eating his cooking... he just... wouldn't show it.

Izaya gulped, somehow managing to scarf half of the pancakes down. "Aaaah... this is so good, so GOOD, Shizu-chan!" He cried eagerly, helping himself to more pancakes, as well as several slices of toast. "And I'm not just saying that because Shizu-chan's my boyfriend! This really is good! I'm so happy you made breakfast for me~~~! MMF, SCCFM, MFF-"

"It's-it's just breakfast, Izaya. Nothing life-saving." Shizuo grumbled, trying to hide his blush as he rested his face in his hand. Turning his gaze downward, the blond blinked sheepishly at his own plate. "Haah... I was worried that I wouldn't make enough for you... but now it seems like too much..."

"MMMMM!" He was answered by another vigorous shaking of Izaya's head, as well as a cry of protest from the over-stuffed mouth. "MMMM MMMM MMMM MMM _MMMMMMMMM _MMMM!"

"..." Shizuo decided to torture his boyfriend a little. Smiling innocently, the blond tilted his head. "What are you saying now? That it tastes terrible and there really is too much of it?"

Izaya's eyes bulged in panic. "MMF!" The informant hastily swallowed the rest of his food, coughing slightly as he did. "Aah, haah, haah..."

"Uh..." Shizuo started to reach for Izaya with a tentative hand, wondering guiltily if he had gone too far. Izaya, however, leaned over the table and gave the surprised blond a quick kiss on the lips.

"You knew what I meant, Shizu-chan..." Izaya muttered as he drew back, licking his lips to get rid of any extra syrup.

His cheeks faintly pink, Shizuo sighed before starting to eat his toast as well. "I-I just wanted you to stop talking with your mouth full. It's disgusting when you do that!"

"Okay then!" Izaya eyed his food determinedly. "Then, from now on, I promise to swallow before saying anything! Shizu-chan!" He then went back to consuming his food energetically, continuing to fly crumbs from his mouth.

...In all truth, Izaya's heartiness was actually sincere. The food didn't taste half bad at all. But, more importantly...

THE ACT OF SHIZUO MAKING BREAKFAST FOR HIM WAS SURELY A **SIGN **THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS BLOSSOMING FURTHER! ...at least, that was what Izaya thought. Leave it to the Orihara to link breakfast and sex together...

"Oh," Shizuo added casually, stabbing a pancake and shoving it onto Izaya's plate, "I forgot to tell you, flea..."

"Mmm?" Izaya hastily gave a huge swallow, downing a cup of milk before speaking again. "What, Shizu-chan?"

"Kasuka's coming." The blond continued in his nonchalant tone.

"..."

Izaya froze. "What?"

"...Kasuka. My little brother?"

"...what about him?"

"...he's coming in three days."

"..."

"..."

"...EH?"

* * *

**Sleeping on one third of a couch for seven hours makes me feel very cramped... Ah, I apologize for that random bit of info. ^^ I think I'm... really out of it right now...**

**...you know, I think what contributes most to my Izaya's terrible OOCness is that video on youtube, with the song "Juicy Ecstasy" or something like that... as well as that video with the song "Melt" by Hatsune Miku... ...the rest is most likely a combination of watching/reading too much School Rumble, Hajimete no Aku, Bakuman, Kekkaishi, and... I don't know. :D I... am just mindlessly rambling on, when I should just upload this chapter already. Lol. ^0^ **

**Review so I do not feel like the worthless piece of cement that I really am. X) PLEASE? :D**


	17. A Random Realization

**A/N: Oh fudgenutters. Today has just been a mess as this chapter. = =" On another note, thank you so much for the reviews! ^0^ I love you guys! ...just saying that again. XD**

**xen65: well, here it is... ^^"**

**NeutronStarsCollide: XD Lol, but you did survive! :D Hurray for that! Ah, and thank you! ^.^**

**hpalabay: Haha, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks that, eheehee... X) ...I really don't know how Izaya doesn't choke himself... just one of his many mysteries, I suppose. XD**

**KkarolBoss: Ahaha, thank you so much! ^^ 0_0" ...all right, I haven't the foggiest of what that means... fortunately, I know someone who can translate this (hurray for the awesomeness of bilingual people! :D) so... hopefully I will find out soon. XD**

**Allen Nara: XDDDDD I know, Isaac and Miria are just too precious! :D ...hope that didn't sound creepy. XD **

**cats2find: No, trust me, I'm lazy... or maybe I get distracted too easily... 0 . 0 hmm...**

**rebecca folan: WAH! T T That made me feel guilty! ...and also move my butt to put up this chapter. XD**

**Purianee: ...you're welcome? :D I'm glad it was... thank you... ^^**

**Ginger Blackmore: Lol, I ate pancakes for breakfast this morning... XDDDDD aw, thank you so much! ^^ That made me feel so special! :D**

**Akai Mu Tsuki: Lollati! Yes, that is the power of Izaya! :D**

**Jitziqu: YAY! I have achieved cuteness again! :D**

**Queliet Kuro Shiroyama: Ahaha, it's fine! ^^ I always do too much silence... probably because I read too much manga. XD**

**Scrappel: NOOOOOOOOOOO! DON'T DIE! D: ...But thank you! ^^ Don't you just love crack? :D**

**Warning****: ...at the end of the chapter... mentions of... stuff... ^_^"**

**

* * *

**

"...he's coming in three days."

"...EH?" Izaya initially considered spitting out his mouthful of pancake in shock, but decided to hastily gulp it down and reach for milk carton. Taking a long sip from the box and setting it down, the informant took a good look at his boyfriend's face.

Shizuo's sheepish gaze was cast down as his hands fiddled with themselves on the tabletop. As soon as he felt Izaya's eyes on him, the blond looked up nervously, clearly worried about his reaction to this bit of news.

With Shizuo staring at him, Izaya let out an inaudible sigh before grinning widely. "That's… great, Shizu-chan!" That being done, he stabbed yet another pancake.

"H-huh?" Shizuo blinked several times in surprise. He was expecting Izaya to have… well, he wasn't really sure, but just not expressing any real enthusiasm to meet his brother. "Ah… I guess it is… I mean, no, it _is_…" The blond trailed off as his stomach knotted in apprehension.

"Of course it is!" Izaya answered cheerfully, taking another bite of his pancake. "Introduction to relatives is a big part of being a boyfriend! Which is why I'm really happy!"

Oh. That was the reason why? Shizuo rolled his eyes. He should have known that Izaya would see it as another step of their relationship "blossoming"… maybe, then, there really wasn't any reason to worry about it too much? Did he dare to hope?

…Who was he kidding? The blond stifled a groan. Something bad was bound to happen. "All right, all right, I get it flea, but that was no reason to drink from the milk carton!" Shizuo grumbled, snatching the box from Izaya's hand and placing it back on the table. "You're an adult, not some lazy teenager-"

Izaya interrupted him with a sly wink. "Yes, I'm sure Shizu-chan would know that already, hm?"

Shizuo's jaw dropped. Izaya... Izaya COULDN'T be referring to THAT time- Before the now red-faced blond could stutter an angry protest back, Izaya continued in his smooth tone. "But I'm also sure that Kasuka-kun and I will get along _just_ fine! Everything will be okay!"

"Gggh…" Crossing his arms, Shizuo shot an irritable glance at the ceiling, not happy to be reminded of the shower incident. "Y-yeah, whatever…" He tried to mutter with indifference.

A sudden touch on his arm caused the startled blond to look back at Izaya, who was suddenly standing in front of Shizuo. "Flea-"

"And…" Izaya whispered, grinning as he leaned down, "Please don't worry about us getting _too_ close or anything of the sort. Don't get me wrong, I think Kasuka-kun is quite the lady killer, but my tastes are more…" Fingers intertwined in Shizuo's hair. "…_blond_… and more tan…" The brunet fingered Shizuo's cheek. "…and more red…" He added with a chuckled as he cupped a blushing cheek. "And more… SHIZU-CHAN! NOM NOM!" Izaya finished playfully, dipping down and biting the crook of the beautiful neck lightly.

"Ah!" Shizuo couldn't help the surprised sound escape his lips as he shoved Izaya off. "Flea, c-cut that out!" His face flushed (these days, it didn't seem to do anything BUT flush…), the blond pulled at the collar of his shirt, embarrassed. "A-actually, Izaya, I… I wouldn't have even thought of that if you hadn't mentioned it…"

"Oh?" Izaya slipped his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans, smiling at Shizuo. "Does this mean Shizu-chan trusts me?"

Shizuo tossed his head to the side once more, annoyed. "Do me a favor and do not link that to sex. Just sit down and finish the rest of your food."

"Huh. Fine…" Pouting childishly, Izaya took his seat again, shoving the remains of the last pancake into his mouth.

"Oh…" Hit by a sudden realization, Shizuo turned back to Izaya. "Back to Kasuka, since you're meeting him, is it all right for me to get to know your sisters sometime?"

...his... his WHAT?

That was when Izaya actually did spit out his mouthful of pancake in shock. "BLLRRGHGGH!" Fortunately, the gross mess tumbled onto his plate, not onto some other precious surface, such as his shirt or maybe even Shizuo's face.

The said man drew back in alarm at this response. "I-Izaya?"

"Aaah…" Izaya wiped his mouth with the back of his slender hand before giving an incredulous look at Shizuo. "I… my… my… SISTERS?" The way Izaya uttered the word made it sound as if it was his first time discovering that he had siblings.

A little shaken by the force of Izaya's spit, Shizuo scratched his head, apprehension written all over on his face. "Erm… your twin sisters? Their names… are… Mai… Mai… Mairu and… Kuuri, right?"

"Wh-who told you about them?" Izaya demanded, grabbing the table as his eyes bored holes into Shizuo's head.

"U-uh… well… Sh-Shinra…" Deeply regretting to have brought the topic up, Shizuo found himself shrinking a little, his cheeks flushing a little in shame. "S-sorry… I-I didn't realize… u-um…" The blond looked down despondently. "…f-forget about it…"

"…" Izaya felt something in his chest twinge when he saw Shizuo's sad and cute face, with his cheeks red and his gaze looking away like that-

…The informant slapped his forehead with his hand in frustration. Curse Shizu-chan's cuteness! …or maybe his weakness toward it.

With the grey look of utter defeat, Izaya practically slithered over to the back of Shizuo's chair, placing his arms on his boyfriend's shoulders while resting his face in the blond hair. "Izaya?"

"…if… if…" Izaya began in a reluctant mumble, not believing he was actually saying this, "… if you… you really, really, honestly want to meet them…" Izaya's eye gave a twitch when saying "them". "…then… we can meet too… just… like…" His eye twitched again, though Shizuo couldn't see it from the position. "…Kasuka-kun…"

"Um." said Shizuo, tentatively touching one of the hands on his shoulders, "…you… don't get along with them?"

"Oh, of course not." Izaya answered a bit _too_ quickly. "There's just a big age gap between the three of us, that's all. But don't worry at all, Shizu-chan! They're both practically angels, like me!"

Which, to Shizuo, basically translated into "yes, we do not" and "They're little demons of hell!" However, all he did was tighten his hold on Izaya's hand, keeping it on his shoulder.

"…right." Shizuo muttered dutifully, somehow knowing that behind him, Izaya's face was very emo-looking and depressed. "So… can I ask a few questions about them before I do meet them?"

Izaya let out a weak laugh. "It's not like that information is top-secret or the topic is completely taboo, Shizu-chan. I'm sorry. Ask as much as you like."

"Ah… all right…" Shizuo thought for a bit. "…so… how old are they?"

"They're both in their last year of junior high school." It took Shizuo a minute or so to actually interpret the line of sullen muttered words.

"…oh…. I see… They sound… cute. A-as in little kid cute, I-I mean…" Shizuo added hastily.

"OH. 'Cute'. Yes." Izaya's extremely unenthusiastic voice agreed. "I suppose some people could view them as that…"

"…" His uneasiness increasing, Shizuo tried to turn his head to look at his now morose boyfriend. "I-if you really don't want me to talk to them, Izaya, it's fine, I mean-"

"NO!" Izaya said quickly, squeezing Shizuo's shoulders. "It must be done! I _have _to do it! If Shizu-chan and I are going to have a serious relationship, then we should both know about each other's families! It MUST BE DONE!"

Shizuo winced slightly, not because of the grip Izaya hand on his shoulders. "Er… okay then…"

Izaya softened his hold and rubbed Shizuo's cheek with his own. "And I'm sorry that Shinra was the one who told you about my sisters, and not me."

Shizuo's face relaxed as his eyes closed briefly in content. "I would say the same about Kasuka, but you already found out before I had a chance to even have a civil conversation with you…"

"That was Shizu-chan's fault for being so irresistible and so tsundere-ish in the first place." Izaya countered, the sibling dicussion already forgotten.

"T-tsundere?" Shizuo yelped in protest as Izaya nipped his cheek, cheerful once more. "The fuck, fl- n-no… never mind." The blond hastily butted his chair out, knocking his boyfriend over at the same time. "If you're done, I'm going to clean up, then…" Shizuo started to pile the plates on top of each other as Izaya scrambled up. "I'll help, Shizu-chan!"

"…Thanks flea…" Shizuo muttered, half-mortified of how much this dialogue/situation was similar to like… like… a married couple, almost… Blushing, he dumped the dishes in his sink. Izaya followed him, rolling up the sleeves up his black shirt to his elbows after he had taken the rings off of his fingers. "Okay, Shizu-chan, I'll wipe!"

The blond rolled his eyes as he started to scrub the first plate vigorously. "Isn't the nice, kind boyfriend supposed to volunteer to wash instead?"

Laughing, Izaya winked again at Shizuo. "If I'm the nice, kind boyfriend, what does that make you, Shizu-chan?"

"…" The poor plate was suddenly abjected to a very POWERFUL scrubbing.

"Now, don't break the plate, my love, or your precious skin might get cut by a shard…" Izaya taunted, grabbing one of the dishtowels hanging from the stove.

Shizuo was about to turn to him and growl out something in defense. That is, until, he felt a pinch. A pinch in a very PERSONAL area…

"…" _Twitch. _"...IZAYAAAAAAAAAAAAA..." Having rinsed the plate, Shizuo handed it grumpily at his annoying flea of a boyfriend who, as soon as the dishes were done, was certainly going to be DEAD. The said "dead" flea still had a stupid grin on his face. "Oops... Ahahahahahaha…"

Shizuo concentrated on washing the other plates in the sink, mentally willing the plate Izaya was currently drying to break. SHATTER, SHATTER, SHATTER, SHATTER-

Against the law of any kind of logic, the plate shattered. _PICHAK!_

"Agh!" Izaya winced.

…WHAT THE FUCK? For a few seconds Shizuo stared at the remains of the plate in dumbstruck silence.

"…"

"Ooh, sorry about that, Shizu-chan…" Izaya muttered sheepishly, kneeling down to pick up the pieces that had fallen on the floor. "I must have been holding it too hard-"

"Ah!" Snapping out of his daze, Shizuo bent also bent down. "N-no, it's all right, it's not expensive or anything…" A closer look at Izaya's hand transformed Shizuo's guilt into unnecessary panic. "Gah! Izaya! You're bleeding!"

The informant examined the cut on his finger causually. "Oh… probably got it on the shard somewhere… heh, funny about how I was just talking about i-O-OI, SHIZU-CHAN?" He exclaimed, startled when Shizuo grabbed his arm and frantically guided him toward the sink.

"Y-you… th-that… u-um…" The blond rambled nervously as water poured over Izaya's cut, "…a-ah, I'm so sorry-"

"Shizu-chan…" Izaya had to let out a quite chuckle before wrapping his other arm around the blond's shoulders. "I don't see how this could be your fault in any way…"

"...I… I must have scrubbed it too hard…" Shizuo lied guiltily, turning the water faucet off now that the blood flow from Izaya's cut had already stemmed.

Shizuo glanced back at Izaya, only to be met by a pair of lips. "Mmm!"

Izaya pressed his mouth to Shizuo's a little deeper before pulling away. "You are quite adorable when you're flustered, Shizu-chan."

"…" Knowing that his face was probably beet red by now, Shizuo turned away and started to wordlessly wash the dishes once more. Izaya simply laughed again before hunching down and cleaning the remains of the plate.

Fortunately, the rest of the cleaning passed without anything drastic happening. As Izaya wrapped a bandage around his finger (only doing so because of Shizuo's fussing), Shizuo couldn't help but watch him. Izaya… really did have nice hands. They were quite… nice… if Shizuo thought about it… soft but also rough, slender but also long and skilled, cold, especially when they were under Shizuo's shirt, but-WHAT IN THE NAME OF SHINRA'S PANTIES WAS HE THINKING? The blond lifted his arm and punched the side of his own head in embarrassment, certainly NOT imagining those hands holding Shizuo's… Shizuo's own HANDS, of course-

If timing couldn't be worst, Izaya looked up from his hand just in time to see Shizuo's punch. "…Shizu-chan?"

"Y-yeah, what is it?" The blond asked, managing a shaky smile.

Izaya gave a light shrug of his shoulders. "…nothing, I suppose…" On the table, his phone gave a light vibrate, indicating he had a text. Springing up lazily, Izaya picked it up and flipped it open. He immediately frowned.

Shizuo noticed. "Izaya?"

Izaya shook his head. "Nothing, I simply have things I have to get done… at work." He glared at his phone, as if it was the device's fault that he had to leave his precious Shizuo so soon.

"Oh yeah…" The said blond agreed, running a hand through his hair. "My shift with Tom-san starts soon, too…"

"Huh." Izaya made a sound of disapproval before grabbing his furcoat and pulling his arms through the sleeves. "Anyhow, thanks for breakfast, Shizu-chan! It really was good! I'll see you later tonight, then."

"_After_ my shift ends…" Shizuo warned, standing up as well. "You better not sneak attack me like last time…"

Izaya smirked before walking over to Shizuo. "I'll see if I can resist." He teased before pulling the blond into a kiss.

"Mmm…" Looking a little dazed, Shizuo leaned away and smiled. "Have a nice day then, you crazy flea."

"Wait a bit." Izaya said nonchalantly, lifting Shizuo's hand. In a few deft strokes, Izaya slipped one of his rings off his own finger and onto the blond's instead.

Shizuo raised his eyebrows in puzzlement at the silver band of metal resting on his index finger. "Flea? What is this?"

Izaya cupped Shizuo's face, kissing his cheek before whispering into his ear. "Just wear it, okay? Have a nice day too, my beautiful tsundere wife!" That being said, the informant turned and dashed out of the door before any furniture could be hurled at his head.

Surprisingly (or not), Shizuo was still examining his hand nervously. What… what exactly did this mean? Did Izaya think that he wanted the ring because he had been staring at his hands?

"I guess I'll figure it out later…" The blond muttered to himself, not in the mood to want to worry over it. It was only then, of course, did the memory of Izaya's farewell hit him.

"…IZAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAA! GET THE HELL BACK HERE! DID YOU ACTUALLY JUST CALL ME YOUR FUCKING WIFE? IZAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

* * *

Izaya sighed as he finished one of whatever mysterious tasks were that the informant did on a daily basis. "Namie-san," he called over his shoulder, not bothering to glance back at her, "will you hand me the file that's the second from the top in that pile on the desk over there? Oh, and mind you don't let anything fall out of it, either…"

The secretary did as she was told, looking over Izaya in her usual disdainful way. "…what is up with the lack of enthusiasm today?" She inquired, her tone completely devoid of concern. "You once ranted on about how much you love this job."

Izaya grinned as he took the file and began sorting through its contents. "Oh, I do, I do… It simply gets in the way of something I also love, that's all…"

Namie gave a sigh of her own. "I can't decide whether or not this 'falling in love' with Heiwajima-san has made you better or worst."

Her employer gave an amused snort. "Hah! Believe me, I'm as torn as you are…" Izaya assured, his thoughts wandering back to the time he had helped Shizuo home.

Namie stared at Izaya in silence before crossing her arms and shrugging. "I suppose so. Anyway, you've got another offer."

"For information or money?"

"The former."

"Tch, it always seems to be the former these days…" Izaya set the file aside and started to type at his computer. "Say, Namie-san, what would you think if there was a _little_ accident and all flights and train schedules to and from Ikebukuro were canceled?"

Namie actually had to force herself to put her book down and stare incredulously at Izaya. "…what?"

The man gave a casual flip of his hand. "Oh, nothing _too_ tragic or destroying, just enough to make-"

"…as much as this is none of my concern…" The woman interrupted, sighing again, "…who's coming? His former girlfriend?"

"…"

"No." Izaya finally answered resignedly. "His younger brother."

"You mean Hanejima Yuhei?" Unlike most of the Tokyo's female population, Namie said the name with pure disinterest. "You think Shizuo will pay less attention to you?"

Izaya shrugged vaguely. "Somewhat. I mean, part of it is reasonable, since Shizu-chan doesn't get to see his younger brother very often. It's nothing like _your_ case, of course." He added snidely. "…but with Kasuka-kun around, it's going to be a lot difficult to get Shizu-chan to do se-"

"NO MORE NEEDS TO BE SAID." Namie intervened loudly, slamming her book shut and turning her back on her boss.

* * *

Shizuo took another puff of his cigarette, staring at the ring Izaya had given him. It felt... so weird on his finger. It wasn't like it was out of place, or bad, or didn't fit (in fact, it fit his finger perfectly, surprisingly), but... it just felt... different.

"Hey, Shizuo?" Tom called out, his voice seeming to be miles away. "What's up with your hand?"

"H-huh?" Startled, Shizuo instinctively tried to hide his hand.

"You've been staring at your hand this whole time... is it hurt or something?" Sincerely concerned, Tom reached out.

Unfortunately, it was too late before he spotted the ring on Shizuo's finger.

"..."

"..."

"...is... that from Iz-"

"IT'S-IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, TOM-SAN!" Shizuo yelled, wringing his hand desperately. "I-I MEAN... IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE STUPID RINGS THAT IZAYA ALWAYS WEARS... a-and... he just gave one to me, th-that's all..."

The dread-locked man hastily waved his hand in understanding. "It's okay, Shizuo, I got it... sorry about that. Anyway, this is the place." He added, pausing in front of a rather beat up door. "This guy is pretty difficult when he's smashed, so be careful... or just be you. Kay?"

"Yeah..." Shizuo nodded dutifully, not really paying much attention to what Tom was saying. His mind still dwelling on the ring, the blond couldn't help but think of that table Izaya had gotten him a while back-

"..." Behind the sunglasses, the brown eyes widened in realization before softening in happiness. Of course he would be reminded of the table Izaya got for him! The ring was another kind gesture of Izaya, that was all. Smiling, Shizuo smacked himself on the head, not aware of the trouble Tom was having with the man at the door, who was most likely intoxicated.

Shizuo supposed that if you looked over the craziness and the pervertness and... the knife, Izaya really was a nice person... He just kept making it difficult for Shizuo to remember that. But it was also difficult to remember it when Izaya was kissing him too... ...it kind of was difficult to remember anything... His heart hammered slightly when he recalled the sensations of those pale hands caressing his own hands, his hair, his neck, his chest, pulling off his clothing with-...OH FUCK.

"Shizuo! Shizuo! SHIZUO!" Tom yelled out as he helplessly grappled with the struggling man who had a fifty thousand yen debt to pay. "A LITTLE HELP HERE?" The drunk man managed to get past Tom, but then foolishly tripped on his feet, his head landing inches away from Shizuo's feet.

Shizuo, still in his own world, dropped his cigarette, partly in shock. The still burning cigarette _just_ happened to land RIGHT in the man's eyes. "AAAARRGH!" Not really hearing the man's scream, Shizuo then began to stomp on the man's face, believing that he was merely crushing a cigarette.

Tom, meanwhile, watched all of this in a mixture of disbelief and awe.

Suddenly, Shizuo lifted his foot away and brought his arm down in a sudden burst of rage. "GODDAAAAAAAAMMN IT!" The blond roared, punching the man straight in the face.

_CRACK! _

"..."

"..."

With a nervous cough, Tom broke the eerie silence that followed. "Um... now would be a good time to pay up."

Finally comprehending his surroundings, Shizuo looked down and blinked. "Oh... I thought it felt a lot less harder than usual..." He turned to Tom. "Sorry, I was spacing out a little..."

"I could tell."

"AAAAAAAGH!" The poor man wailed, his hand scrambling pathetically in his coat. "I'LL GIVE YOU THE MONEY, I'LL GIVE YOU THE MONEY! JUST NO MORE!" It really was a miracle that he was still able to talk.

His temper still burning, Shizuo turned his gaze back to the man with a snap. "OH, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU BASTARD! WHO THE HELL GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOUR DAMN MONEY? I'VE JUST FOUND OUT THAT BESIDES FALLING IN LOVE WITH A FUCKING PERVERT, STALKER, AND CREEP, I ALSO WANT TO HAVE **SEX** WITH THE FUCKING PERVERT, STALKER, AND CREEP! SO STOP WHINING BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN FUCKED-UP PROBLEMS!"

Tom's mouth fell open. "...Shizuo... did you just admit... you want to do it with Izaya?"

"YES! I DO!" The blond yelled, starting to stomp around. "IT'S HORRIBLE!"

"...horrible? ...but he's... your boyfriend..."

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

...and that was when Heiwajima Shizuo finally understood what Orihara Izaya had been suffering for quite some time now.

_To be continued..._

_

* * *

_

**...crappy ending, I know. XD So how will Shizuo... communicate this to Izaya? ...or will he even make the effort? Blagh, sorry for the lame questions, but it's almost eleven on a school night, and while I have been up later in worst situations, I need to skeedadle. XD Until we meet again, muahahaha. X)**

**...and review. :D I will never forget to say this... because I am a review-obsessed hog. XD**


	18. Fever

**A/N: ...eeks... I totally failed to get this out last week. So sorry for that! *bows frantically* Anyway, hope you enjoy this crappy and cliche chapter! ^^**

**xen665: Noooooooooo! Don't die! D:**

**Ginger Blackmore: XDDDD I have no idea what Shinra wears, and I honestly don't want to find out. 0_0" lol, part of that kind of happens...**

**NeutronStarsCollide: Aww, thank you so much! XDDDD I have no idea where the plate part came from...**

**Dreaming Rain: XD Yes, wife! And nom nom! ^.^ I just think it sounds so cute, too..**

**I-ink : XD No, I don't think the ring had anything to do with it. *pauses* or did it...**

**Jitziqu: Thank you! :D And here it is! ...six... days... late...**

**Akai Mu Tsuki: Haha, thanks! ^^ Yes, yes, he finally does...**

**AkaEyes: Well, considering that Izaya wanted it since the first time they met... not really already... XDDDDDDDDD**

**WhiteCrow10: Ah, yes, that part will be very special! *rubs hands together* muahahahahaha... :D**

**I Like To Stalk You: Um... 0 . 0" Please, stalker, wait just a _little_ longer...**

**hpalabay: Yup, it really does... Ah, poor Shizuo, will he ever be able to face Tom ever again? XD**

**Purianee: Aaaaagh, why is everyone dying? 0_0" ...oh, I did? :D hurray!**

**xXxSnakebites: ...Omg... are you serious? D: THAT'S AWESOME! ^0^ Wow, I had no idea that I would cause that... thank you... and sorry? :D**

**Allen Nara: Lol, yes, Izaya would be ready to cry in happiness...**

**Queliet Kuro Shiroyama: Uhhhhhhhh... it's staying T. ^^ I might be pushing it a little, but yeah. XD**

**Some Creep: NOO! I CAN'T HAVE ANOTHER REVIEWER DIE ON ME! *rushes with next chapter***

**

* * *

**

Leaning over the bar rail of a bridge, Shizuo honestly had no idea what to do. Ever since he had met Izaya, there had been obvious signs of the flea wanting… sex. Take the groping, for example. Or that time he heard that… _certain _string of words spilling out of Izaya's mouth during… that time in the alley. Or the heated moments whenever they were making out.

Not that that was all Izaya wanted from Shizuo. No, the blond knew he meant more to Izaya than simply a possible good lay.

But now, discovering that he really did… want to do it with Izaya… Shizuo was at a loss. Should he… should he tell Izaya? But… Shizuo could feel his face heating up again. …That… wouldn't that sound far too awkward? And also… OH NO!

The former bartender almost choked out loud in horror. WAIT A MINUTE! IF HE CONFESSED TO WANTING TO HAVE SEX, WOULDN'T MAKE IZAYA THINK THAT HE ALSO WANTED THE… THE… Flames practically shot up in Shizuo's cheeks. …THE _KINKY_ STUFF? GAH! WHAT WAS HE GOING TO DO? HE WAS DOOMED!

…wait. Shizuo paused as a sudden thought struck him. If… if he really wanted sex with Izaya, then… wouldn't all he needed to do was to tell Izaya not to stop when they were kissing? …would that even be that simple? Wait, yes, it could! In fact, that would be perfect! Izaya would be too surprised that it would turn out to be more than a mere makeout session and therefore would have no… no weird things!

_Hah!_ A little voice in the back of Shizuo's mind laughed at him. _You've only just realized what you want, and you're already thinking like some seducing uke-_

Shizuo's eye twitched. "Shut up."

_But you have to tell him as soon as you see him the next time, right~~? _The infuriating voice continued.

"What the hell?" Shizuo grumbled to himself, taking out another cigarette. "NO. It's not like I've gone completely horny for him or something-"

_Yeah, yeah, sure… like you weren't totally drooling over just his hands a few hours ago-_

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Behind Shizuo, confused questions marks were erupting from bystanders' heads.

It was then when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Shizuo dug it out… and felt his stomach drop like an anchor as soon as he recognized the caller ID. "…" Oh crap. This was bad. Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad-

His heart pounding crazily, Shizuo had already clicked the reply button to the text Izaya had just sent him. He was about to start texting, only to realize that he hadn't even READ the message properly.

"…" Oh well. Throwing all sense of logic and reason out of the window, where it was run over by a truck carrying fish, if you were wondering what happened to it, Shizuo simply texted back "Yeah" and then pressed "send".

* * *

Izaya was in a good mood. Actually, to be more precise, Izaya HAD been in a good mood. Everything had gone well, and, of course, accordingly to his plans. Therefore, he had still been in a good mood when he sent that certain text to Shizuo.

_Ne, ne, Shizu-chan~! :D You're done with work now, right? Can we come meet up somewhere? Please? 0A0_

But then, Shizuo didn't answer him, which irked Izaya, who knew that while clumsy, his Shizu-chan would never take so long to reply to a message like that.

_SHIZU-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAN! Why aren't you replying? Is your phone dead? Or did you lose it? HELLOOOOOOOOOOO? _

Then, there was STILL no reply.

_Bad Shizu-chan. If you're not going to reply to me, I'm going to go find you myself~~ ;D_

STILL no reply.

_Shizu-chan? What happened? Have you been rendered unmovable and speechless because of my sexy body and skilled fingers? *wink wink*_

Finally, then, a reply.

_Yeah._

"…"

"…"

No "WTF? YOU FUCKING PERVERTED FLEA", no "YOU WISH, YOU PERVERT!", no "FUCK YOU, FLEA".

Instead, it was "Yeah". WHAT?

In his spinning chair, Izaya saw that message and instinctively knew something was wrong. Very wrong. No, someone couldn't have stolen Shizuo's phone, he KNEW his Shizu-chan! Even when he was texting!

"Namie-san! I'm going to go out!"

Grabbing his coat, the informant started to dial Shizuo's number. _Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

_

* * *

_

Meanwhile, Shizuo, unaware of the affect his text had on a certain flea, was still leaning against the railing, feeling miserable.

Where had this… sudden realization come from, anyway? Things like this couldn't just pop out from nowhere… Shizuo shot a suspicious look at the ring on his finger. That ring… wouldn't have anything to do with this, would it?

Carefully, the blond took the ring off, set it on the railing, and waited to see if anything would happen.

"…"

Shizuo hastily put it back on. Okay, never mind. It probably wasn't the ring. Case closed.

_Vrrrb. _Oh, his phone was ringing again. Lovely. Taking it out, Shizuo opened it hesitantly. "Izaya-"

"Shizu-chan, please tell me that you made a mistake with that text just now so I can stop worrying about the state of your mental health."

Not exactly the most seductive words, but the sound of Izaya's voice had Shizuo's face aflame and a slight shiver with goosebumps all over his body, all but confirming the dreadful (or not) fact that the blond had already been head over heels for the informant for quite some time now.

"…"

"Shizu-chan?"

"A-aah?" Shizuo managed to stutter out, his traitorous imagination already coming into play before he could stop it. _"Shizu-chan…" Izaya blew harshly into his ear. "Who do you belong to-" _"WAH! NOOOOO!"

"WHAT?" Izaya shouted on the other end. "Shizu-chan? What is going on?"

"N-NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! E-EVERYTHING IS FINE, FLEA, S-SO, G-GO BACK TO WORK!"

"Shizu-chan, why did you only respond to that certain message I sent you?"

"I-it's fine, re- wait, what? You sent more than one message?"

Izaya found himself increasing his pace through the crowded streets. "I sent you three. Pray tell me, Shizu-chan, did you even READ the last message before replying?"

"...I-I-I u-um, w-well, th-that… No. Not really. Wait! What did you text me, flea?"

"...nothing too important… Shizu-chan, are you sure you are all right? You don't sound too well…"

Shizuo tried his best not to gulp. Oops… "E-erm… I-I'm fine!"

"Shizu-chan, you don't sound fine."

"Th-that's nonsense, flea. My voice is perfectly wonderful, just like yours."

There was a short silence in which both men took in that sentence.

"…"

"Shiz-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Shizuo tried desperately to correct his mistake. "N-NOOO! NOO! I-I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT, GODDAMN IT…"

"Mean it like what? That settles it, Shizu-chan, you have a fever. I'm coming to get you right now."

"…what? WAIT, WHAT? WHAT?"

"I'm coming to get you. Don't move."

"H-huh, b-but… why?"

Izaya sighed before speaking again into his phone. "You're constantly stuttering, you sound flushed, and you're saying things usually out of character for you."

"I'm…" Shizuo struggled for a way out of his situation. "I'm… I'm not flushed! Don't go leaving your office!"

He heard an amused chuckle on the other line. "Too bad. I left as soon as you sent me that text, and I can see you."

"You can… you can WHAT?" Shizuo turned his head around frantically several times before a pale hand touched his cheek gently. Shizuo freaked out and dropped his phone. "AAAAAGH!"

Izaya leaned over, catching Shizuo's phone deftly in one hand while feeling the blond's forehead with his other. "…"

Shizuo's eyes widened as he felt the cool palm press against his heated forehead, only being able to flush more as the hand traveled to his cheeks and then his neck. "I-I-I-Iz-"

Izaya looked back at him with concerned eyes. "You really are heating up, Shizu-chan…" The red eyes suddenly narrowed mischievously. "Ahaha, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were feeling a little too _excited_-" Shizuo barely managed to hold back a terrified squeak, yes, squeak, at those words, however, Izaya quickly stopped and frowned again. "Just joking. But why didn't you tell me earlier if you were feeling bad?"

"I… I didn't… I-I mean…" What little was left in Shizuo's brain (kind of) disintegrated when he stared at Izaya. When he stared at the sharp, handsome facial features, the raven black hair, the slender but strong body, the deep red eyes, those lips-

"Aaaaaaah oh shit…" Shizuo moaned, leaning into the startled informant's hold, too far gone to be mortified with himself. "Why do you have to be so hot, flea?"

"…" The next thing he knew, he was being hauled up and carried like a princess. "Izaya?"

The informant gave Shizuo a stern look. "Quiet. You're not well. We need to get you to Shinra's."

The fact that his boyfriend could be so perverted and sick-minded, yet so blind and concerned (when Shizuo NEEDED him to be perverted) frustrated Shizuo to no end. "DAMN IT!" The blond yelled, waving his fists like a helpless five year old as Izaya ran crazily to Shinra's apartment, attracting even more stares than before. "I DO NOT HAVE A FEVER, STUPID FLEA-agh!" Shizuo's sentence was cut off in a poorly concealed gasp when Izaya's grip tightened around his thigh.

"Shizu-chan, hold on." Izaya interjected before flicking out his phone and calling someone, somehow managing to hold onto Shizuo at the same time. "Shinra? It's me. I hope you're free. You are? Too bad. Shizu-chan has a fever! Huh? No, I'm sure it's not just because of the heat! He's completely delirious-"

"Gah!" In a desperate attempt to distract himself from the nice _warm_ chest he was shoved against, Shizuo snatched the phone away from Izaya. "Hello? Shinra! Don't listen to a word the flea says! I'm perfectly fine-" The phone was stolen away from him once more.

"You are not fine! Shinra? Did you hear that? He isn't!"

In his apartment, the said doctor was doing his best to determine the situation. "…uh… are you postitive that he's sick, Izaya?"

"Y-"

"NO! I'm not sick! I'm fine! Izaya, goddamn it, put me down already-"

Beside Shinra, Celty listened in, feeling more confused by the minute. Gently tapping the doctor's shoulder, she showed him her PDA. _Are they really coming here?_

He managed to give her a shrug before another bout of arguing continued.

"Argh! Screw it!" Izaya swore uncharacteristically, clamping the phone shut while still balancing Shizuo.

"Izaya?"

The informant slowed his pace to walk, shaking his head in defeat. "Fine, Shizu-chan. We're not going to Shinra's. But we are going home together, okay? You look like you need some rest." Izaya suddenly winked at Shizuo. "But no way I'm going to let you down." He leaned in and kissed the blond on his cheek, giving his shoulder a reassuring rub at the same time.

"O-ooh…" Feeling Izaya's lips on his face, Shizuo blushed heavily, the touches turning his stomach into a helpless ball of goo. Bringing his face flush with the black V-necked shirt, the blond felt as if he were melting when Izaya gave him another affectionate kiss on the head. Just to make sure, Shizuo took a peek at his shoes. "…oh good, they're still there…" He murmured, catching his boyfriend's attention.

"What's still there, Shizu-chan?"

"…um…" Heat rushing to his body once more, Shizuo struggled for a normal reply. "…all of my body parts?" Unfortunately, that was the wrong answer.

"…"

"…okay, scratch that. We are going to Shinra's place after all."

"WHAT? But you said-"

Izaya kissed his forehead playfully. "No protesting allowed, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo froze. Did Izaya realize how kinky that sentence could sound? Immediately after thinking that, he slapped himself.

Izaya tutted as he bumped his forehead against Shizuo's lightly. "Yes, Shizu-chan, definitely Shinra's."

* * *

"…so… you are coming here." Shinra repeated slowly for confirmation.

"_Yes._" Izaya hissed back impatiently.

"Shizuo? What about you?"

"N-nngh…"

"…" Shinra blinked behind his glasses, his hand starting to sweat. "Uh… Izaya… what… are you doing to him?" Beside him, Celty tensed noticeably. "You're not-"

A loud voice next to the doctor's ear interrupted. "DOING EXTREMELY PERVERTED AND KINKY SHIT TO SHIZU-SHIZU~~~! KYAAAA!"

"A-aaaah!" Shinra managed to yelp out, whipping his head around while Celty fell off of the couch in shock, her hands shaking in shock. _WHWASDLFJADLS;KFJA WHHWHHWHWHWHY AAAERE YOU TWO WHOHUH?_

Behind the couch was none other than Erika, leaning forward with a wide grin on her face, her cap off. Kadota hastily appeared and pulled her back. "Sh-Shinra, Celty-san, ignore her please. She still has issues. Sorry about this…"

Not long after, both Togusa and Walker tramped into the living room as well, the latter calling a casual "Ojamashimasu!"

Celty, still wobbling on the floor, remained dumbstruck, unsure of what to do. After a few seconds of fumbling, the poor dullahan hastily got up and grabbed her helmet. She hastily slid it on and grabbed her PDA once more. _There, is that better, T-Togusa-san?_

"…Uh… yeah. It is. Th-thanks…"

Shinra simply slumped his head down, wondering how his precious day off with his darling Celty had gotten so twisted.

"Why… are you people all here, anyway?" the doctor asked wearily.

"To get the show on the road~!" Erika cheered, holding a bunch of cameras and wires out of nowhere.

"…HUH?"

* * *

"Izaya, I promise you, I am NOT sick!" Shizuo protested, doing his best to squirm in Izaya's arms. "I'm- I'm just-"

Izaya cut him off. "Not with this again, Shizu-chan! I can't have you suddenly spacing out like this! Being the more crazy one in our relationship is my role, which is why we're going over to Shinra's right now!"

"B-but-" Shizuo stuttered weakly, his cheeks flushed as he grudgingly tightened his hold around Izaya's neck and shoulders. "I-I'm…" The blond bit his cheek in frustration. Why was it so difficult for him to convey… this thing! "Izaya! Stop!"

The black-haired man raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"I said stop! Stop walking!" Shizuo yelled out, squeezing his eyes shut. "I just need to ask you a question!"

Izaya halted in mid-step, the blond bodyguard still in his arms. "Eh? What's wrong?"

Shizuo took a deep breath. Trying not to seem like the flustered mess he was, the blond leaned closer to Izaya's face. "Flea…" Shizuo started, not even bothering to hide the grumpiness in his tone, "why take me to Shinra's when you're the one who can make me… feel… better…" His face blushed harder at every word. "I-I mean-"

"…" Izaya stared back at Shizuo, somewhat of a lost look on his face. "…huh?"

Smirking at the informant's uncharacteristically puzzlement, Shizuo tilted his head and kissed Izaya, muttering "stupid flea…" as he did.

Izaya's eyes ogled his boyfriend for several seconds, the reasons behind his words sinking in. Then, they bulged in shock. Then, Izaya hastily closed them and began kissing Shizuo back with an almost messy passion, clutching the blond tighter.

Shizuo reached up and grabbed Izaya's hair as both tried to bring their mouths impossibly closer, tongues and teeth and all.

When they finally paused their public makeout session, Izaya reached over again to lick at the trailing salvia on Shizuo's chin. "A-aaah…" He felt the red eyes survey him closely. "…you… really aren't sick, are you?"

It took him that long to realize that? Shizuo managed to hold back his indignant huff and grin back at Izaya. "Hah… actually, I am _very_ sick, and am in need of a certain Orihara Izaya bastard to cure me."

Izaya couldn't believe what had just happened over the past few minutes. The shock and excitement of it all made him giddy like an ecstatic five year old. "Ahahahaha! I better hurry, then!" Shifting Shizuo in his arms to get a better grip, the informant actually started to sprint through the crowd.

"Agh!" Before Shizuo could voice his incredulity at Izaya's speed, the man spoke up again. "Ahahahahahaha! Shizu-chan~! Where to? Your place or mine?"

"Wh-who the hell cares?" Shizuo yelped back, squeezing his eyes shut. "Either one! Any one! Whichever is closer!"

"All right," Izaya cried excitedly, a maniac glint in his eyes. "That means it's-"

A sudden wave of aura energy from behind caused him to stop again in mid-sprint. "…uh." Both men _slowly_ turned their heads around to see…

…a horde of fangirls that were following them. And not just fangirls. Fangirls with cameras, phones, and duct tape. Where they had come from, not even Izaya knew. Which is why neither of them should make out in public.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Shinra's?" Shizuo offered flatly.

Izaya's eye twitched. "…yup. Shinra's."

* * *

On the table in Shinra's living room, there was now a large amount of mini TVs, connected to cluster of wires that ran everywhere.

Each camera screen showed different views of the house, including the front door, the hallway, and inside of the elevator.

How all of this could have been set up in such a short time period, no one really cared to question. Currently, Erika, Walker, and even Shinra were glued to the cameras, Celty and Kadota were politely facing away, and Togusa was sitting in a corner trying to drown the whole thing out, most likely with a song sang by Ruri Hijiribe.

Yes, that was the current situation of the six.

"Ooh, look!" Erika squealed excitedly, pointing to one of the screens. "Here they come!"

"Oh, yes, that's them!"

"Of course it is…"

Kadota glanced back warily. "They… actually came?"

_They did?_ On her hands and knees, Celty crawled forward curiously. "…" _wwwwwwwwwhw why is Izaya ccaarying shshShizuo like that?_

"…"

"…they do look rather unhappy." Shinra remarked, resting his face in his palm. "I wonder what happened-"

"Aaah!" Walker yelled happily, pointing to the screen as well. "Look at that! Is it just me, or are they both blushing a little?"

"IT'S JUST YOU." Kadota grumbled.

"No, it isn't!" Erika protested, clasping her hands in glee. "They are! Awwww! It's so cute!"

"…cute. Yeah. Sure."

Celty hung her head in despair. _I… I don't think this is a good idea. It just seems nosy_.

"Nonsense, Kubinashi raidaa-san~! We're just helping their relationship develop a bit further, that's all, ahaha!"

Shinra suddenly dug into the pocket of his lab coat, his glasses twinkling excitedly. "Ooh! I think I've just got an idea!"

"Eh?"

"Kishitani-sensei?"

_Shinra?_

The illegal doctor pressed a few buttons before holding the phone to his ear, everyone, even Celty (with the exception of Togusa), listened in eagerly.

_Vrrrb._

_Vrrrb._

_Vrrrb._

_Vrrrb._

_Click. _"What's wrong, Shinra?"

"Oh, Izaya! I just forgot to tell you!" Shinra said cheerfully, his tone full of innocence. "We've been having some problems with the stairs recently, so is it too much to ask if you guys could come up through the elevator?"

"…"

"The… elevator?"

"Yes~!"

There was an awkward pause on the other end of the line. "…Shinra, I'm not sure-"

"I'll see you soon!" Shinra hastily interrupted, ending the call.

Celty raised her PDA questioningly at him. _Shinra, what are you talking about? The stairs are fineadsflkj KARISAWA-SAN?_

Tears of gratitude streamed down Erika's cheeks as she repeatedly bowed to the startled doctor. "Genius, genius, genius, genius…"

"…"

"Karisawa-san, just what-"

Erika leapt up triumphantly. "Now! We will make the elevator stop while they're still in it!"

"H… HUH?"

"What?"

"Eh?"

…_I'm… I'm sorry?… I'm not following any of this…_

* * *

"I… I guess we have to use the elevator, Shizu-chan…" Izaya muttered, avoiding the blond's eyes.

"…" Shizuo held back a groan as he tucked Izaya's phone back into his pocket, the informant's arms already being occupied with Shizuo himself. "G-gaah… I just don't like this! Why can't we just climb up the building like ninjas instead?"

"..."

"…"

A few seconds later, the elevator doors opened in front of them, Izaya about to step inside until Shizuo stopped him. "Flea?"

"Hm?"

"…you… you can let me down now, you know…"

"…oh. Oh. Oh. …sure, Shizu-chan."

Both unaware of the camera recording them, Izaya pressed the button for the top floor as Shizuo tried to interest himself by looking at the ceiling, the fascinating counterpart to the marvelous floor…

"…"

"…"

"…"

The silence was killing Shizuo. There was no other way of describing it. Just… just what would Izaya have done if they _had_ made it to one of their places? Shizuo couldn't help but dart a quick look at Izaya. How… what were they even doing here in the first place? Shizuo wasn't even sick at all…

Meanwhile, the silence was torturing Izaya. If it weren't for those stupid fangirls, the informant seethed silently, he could be having sex with Shizuo! …he hated to put it that bluntly, but it was true! Shizuo really meant that… didn't he? Izaya discreetly scooted a little so that he was standing closer to Shizuo. Another inconspicuous scoot, and he was a _lot_ closer to Shizuo.

"…"

"…Shizu-chan-"

"_**WHAT**_?" Shizuo growled out in the most sullen tone he could muster.

"…"

"…"

"Nothing."

* * *

Kadota rolled his eyes. "Karisawa-san, no matter, what you do, you cannot cause that elevator to just stop when you're standing right here-"

Erika pointed a dramatic finger at the camera. "ELEVATOR! BY THE POWER OF OTAKUS, I COMMAND YOU TO **STOP**!"

"…"

"…" (Crickets begin to chirp)

"…I told y-"

_SCREECH!_

* * *

_SCREECH!_

The sudden halting of the elevator caused both men to pitch forward slightly, the lights blinking out at the same time. "Whoa!" Shizuo wobbled as Izaya instinctively stuck out an arm in front of him. "Agh!"

As soon as they regained their balance, Izaya lifted his head up to glance at the floor levels, lowering his arm from Shizuo's side. "…we're… not at the floor yet…"

Shizuo jerked his head up, his eyes still unadjusted to the darkness. "WH-WHAT? What do you mean? We're stuck?"

"…yeah…" Izaya muttered sheepishly, starting to sit down.

"…HUH?" The blond demanded, still standing. "W-wait, Izaya, where are you?"

"Huh? I'm right here. Just sit down." Shizuo soon heard a sigh of disappointment. "How inconvenient… Shinra's phone appears to be turned off… and Celty's as well…"

"…"

"…"

Shizuo tried to face-palm himself, but ended up missing and slapping near his mouth. "Gack-"

* * *

Kadota stared at the screen, then at the victory-dancing Erika, then back at the screen. "...Note to self. Never go against Karisawa-san's will. You'll die."

* * *

For a few seconds, Shizuo and Izaya both sat in silence.

"…"

"…"

Then…

Shizuo nudged himself a _little_ closer in the direction of Izaya's voice.

"Shizu-chan?"

"…um…" The blond sweat-dropped, embarrassed that he had been caught so easily. "U-uh… I… I… I… U-um…"

"Huh?" Concern could be heard in Izaya's voice. "What's wrong?"

Feeling his face heat up, Shizuo slid a little closer. "…um… u-um…"

Silence. "…Shizu-chan? Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah!" He answered far too quickly to be telling the truth. Hands suddenly pulled Shizuo gently, dragging him forward until, he realized, he was sitting in Izaya's lap. "Fl-flea-"

"Shh, it's okay…" Izaya kissed the top of the blond hair gently, feeling Shizuo tense in his lap. "Just calm down, Shizu-chan."

"I-I d-don't need to calm down, flea!" Shizuo tried to spit out bitterly, but found himself leaning against Izaya's shoulder. "...m-mm..."

He felt another kiss on his head, accompanied by several soothing rubs on his back. "I know."

Shizuo blinked in confusion. Know? Know what? "Hey, Shizu-chan…"

"H-huh?"

"Let's make out here!"

"…"

"WHAAAAAT?"

* * *

**...yes, it is a terrible cliffhanger. XD Aaaaah... My sincere apologies. ^^ Now review to see what happens next! :D XD Kidding, just kidding...**


	19. Elevator!

**A/N: ...I did it! I can't believe that I did, but I did! A thousand apologies for the late update, caused by reading manga, stalling, eating, sleeping, that BIG earthquake in Japan (may everyone there be okay and the damage there be repaired 0_0), and, of course, the good old school work. )X**

**xen64****: Yikes! 0_0"" ...well, I tried my best~ ^_^"**

**hpalabay****: Yes, Erika-sama is just too AWESOME~~ ...well, you'll see! NOOOOOOOOO! YOU MUST NOT DIE! AAAAH!**

**Anonomnom: Lol, thanks? Aaaagh, no, don't you die either!**

**cats2find****: Oh, I'm sure he does, deep, deep down..**

**Ginger Blackmore****: XD I swear, my dear friend, you seem to read my mind. Nuff said. ^.^**

**Akai Mu Tsuki****: XDDDDD Ah, I'm so glad everyone loved that part...**

**rebecca folan: 0_0" NOOOOOOOOO! ANOTHER READER DEAD! WHY? WHY!**

**musicismylife575: Ah, thank you so much! ^0^ ...hm... I suppose it just looks like one of the rings on Izaya's fingers... just look at them in the anime or manga... XDDDD **

**I Like To Stalk You: XDDD Rest assured, rest assured... it won't happen... not with Shinra around...**

**KKarolBoss: Awwww, thanks! ^0^ Yes, Erika is win!**

**NeutronStarsCollide: Lol, thank you~~! Ahahahaha, oh dear, I hope I didn't offend anyone with that... If only mine knew... 0 0" N-no, please don't die...**

**WhiteCrow10: Pfffffffft you do realize that later on, that camera will eventually be destroyed by Izaya? XD Joking, joking...**

**Sarah32138: XDDDD I always delay so much time with my chapters, though... but thank you!**

**Dreaming Rain: ...is that good or bad? XD I'm so sorry for the delay...**

**Jitzqu: Thank you! ^.^**

**Purianee: Lol, omg, that line was so epic! Hurray! ...even though all Otaku are not necessarily yaoi fans, but still... XD**

**Queliet Kuro Shiroyama: Don't we all? X) ...erm, in this fanfic, no, he's more like "all for the sake of science/knowledge guy. XD**

**To everyone who reviewed: THANK YOU~~~**

**

* * *

**

"…you want us… to… to WHAT?" Shizuo yelled loudly, feeling his eye twitch in the darkness.

"Sssh, not so loud, Shizu-chan…" Izaya muttered, rubbing his ear as the echoes of Shizuo's shouts rang in his ear. "And it is not _that_ much of a bad idea-"

"Izaya, _NO_!" To Izaya's displeasure, Shizuo hadn't ceased his yelling. "It's a horrible idea!"

The hand on his back tightened its grip. "But, Shizu-chan, you are obviously nervous and near to panic in this situation. Kissing me can help you calm down-"

"Th-there's no way I can d-do th-that! You do realize that this is SHINRA'S elevator that we're in?"

"So?"

"It's Shinra's elevator!"

"And?"

"GAAAH! Can't you take a hint, flea? Even if I want to do it too-" Shizuo broke off, his face heating in mortification. "…uh…" ...oops.

"…Oh?" Izaya finally said, a hint of eagerness in his voice. "Shizu-chan, what was that?"

"That… that… th-that… that is t… uh… ah… a-a-a-agh…"

"You just admitted you wanted to." Izaya chuckled wickedly, tightening his hold around the blond in his lap.

"I… I didn't… N-no! I didn't mean it like that!" Shizuo cried desperately, trying to backtrack as he pushed his hands against Izaya weakly. "I-I didn't, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did~"

"I did NOT, Izaya. stop it! You're just trying to flatter yourself!"

"Why would I want to flatter myself? I already know how awesome I am!" Izaya replied cheerfully. Shizuo jumped when he felt Izaya's hot breath on his neck. "A-aah... s-stop it! We're in an elevator!"

"Yes, I know, Shizu-chan already said that..." A chuckle followed, along with playful nip to his neck.

"Mmm..." To his utter embarrassment, Shizuo found himself already shuddering at that one small touch. This _had_ to stop. "I-I'm sick here, Izaya, remember! You can't just go doing stuff to a sick person!"

"Hmm? Oh, yes, I remember, Shizu-chan! You are in dire need of a wonderful flea bastard right now! So kiss me!"

"You idiot!" Shizuo tried to face-palm, only to realize Izaya was holding his hands as he helped himself to more of Shizuo's neck. "I... aaah d-don't need... aarrgh... I need... aa... aspirin-aaarrgghhh..." Izaya's lips left his neck and moved up, kissing his cheek and then his ear.

"Trust me, beautiful..." Izaya cooed into the poor blond's ear, "My lips will make you feel a lot more better than aspirin..."

Shizuo gritted his teeth and glared at Izaya, his eyes slowly beginning to adjust to the dark light. "You.. have the worst pick up lines e-ever..." He couldn't help but stutter as Izaya's tongue dragged lazily across his ear.

"And you love them..." Izaya let go of Shizuo's hands so he could turn him around in his lap. "Shizu-chan..." He leaned over, a few centimeters from Shizuo's red face. Smirking, Izaya reached over and ran his tongue lightly over Shizuo's mouth. "Have you changed your mind now, hmm?"

"Ha..." Instead of giving in (as Izaya expected him to), the blond gave a weak laugh and jerked his head away. "Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo managed a teasing smile. "Hmmm... I'm not really sure if I want to, flea." He had to bite his lip hard to keep his laugh from escaping at the incredulous expression on Izaya's face. The informant looked like a kid who suddenly had his hard-earned ice cream snatched away. "...what?" His jaw dropped open.

Careful not to give anything away, the blond slowly slid off of Izaya's lap. "I'm suddenly feeling really tired..." He gave a huge fake yawn. "I think I want to lie down..."

"EH?" Izaya gaped at him incredulously. "Shizu-" He broke off as two arms wrapped around his neck. Lying on the floor, the former bartender grinned at Izaya before tugging his head down. "Flea... come get me already, will you?" Shizuo muttered irritably, sliding his fingers in Izaya's black hair.

...was this... the same person who was trying to push him away a few seconds before? Dumbstruck, Izaya continued to gawk, until...

A thin trickle of blood leaked out of his nose. "...eh?"

_GONG! _Shizuo sweat-dropped. "Gah-" What the hell? Of all times, Izaya wasn't suddenly going to faint on him now, was he? "Iz-"

"Eheeheehee." With one movement, Izaya swiftly wiped the blood from his face, placed his hands on either side of Shizuo's head, and began kissing the life out of the blond.

"M-mmmf!" Caught off guard, Shizuo gasped as Izaya's tongue forcefully found its way into his cavern. "A-aaah..." His grip on Izaya's hair tightened as the black-haired man continued to aggressively attack his mouth. "...mm..." Izaya's knees shifted slowly so he was straddling Shizuo.

"Haa... haa... mm..." A few more seconds of entwining their tongues, Izaya's hands started to twitch. As good as it felt to be kissing Shizuo like this, he _needed_ to feel his boyfriend's body.

A quiet sound of surprise left Shizuo's mouth as Izaya gently propped him against the elevator wall. Placing one hand beside Shizuo's head, Izaya continued to kiss the blond as his other hand started to slowly slide under the bartender's shirt.

"Mm!" Shizuo squeezed his eyes shut, blushing fiercely as he felt the cold hand start to wander over his chest.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Erika screamed in ecstasy, practically choking Walker as she swung him up and down in her arms. "THIS IS JUST TOO BEAUTIFUL! TOO BEAUTIFUL!"

"Ooooooh!" Shinra raised his eyebrows excitedly as he stared at the screen. "I didn't think I'd ever see that expression on Shizuo-kun's face! I'm going to have to congratulate Izaya-san..." He glanced down at the cup in his hand. "Ah, I better make some more coffee for myself..."

"Eeeeeeh? Kishitani-sensei, how can you be so calm when this is happening?"

"NOT LOOKING... NOT LOOKING... NOT LOOKING..." Kadota muttered under his breath as he clamped both hands firmly to his head, regretting to have taken off his cap when he came into the house. He and Celty had both been reduced to taking shelter behind the couch in an attempt to escape... mental scarring.

_KKadtao-san... The dullahan typed shakily, issn't ththere anaayway tto get KKarisawa-san to sotp?_

Kadota gritted his teeth in frustration. "Trust me, if there was, I would have already done it!" Both winced as Erika gave another loud squeal. "G-gaaaaah! I respect that some people just happen to like certain... _things_, but this is going overboard!"

_Nnot to mention infringinging on on privacy..._ Celty shuddered in horror. _Ssurely there must be some wwayWHWHAT WAS THAT SOUND?_

_

* * *

_

Shizuo knew he was doing many things that he should not be doing. For example, he should not be making out with his boyfriend while stuck in the elevator of his childhood friend's house. He also should not be allowing said boyfriend to pin him against the elevator wall and let him do whatever he pleased. Which included being a total PERVERT. ...but on the flip side, it was a hot pervert and getting fondled by him may not be too bad-

As Izaya's heated mouth separated from his, the blond released a whimper that, much to his embarrassment, threatened to turn into a moan when the same cursed mouth sucked possessively on his neck. "Aaaaaaaah..." The hand roaming his chest did little to help Shizuo's situation, either. The bodyguard found himself slumping against the wall in a daze while Izaya easily found his seemingly non-existent sensitive spots and teased him endlessly.

Shizuo struggled to remain silent, but then Izaya nipped down on the spot between his neck and shoulder, immediately eliciting a breathy sigh from the man beneath him. When had Shizuo's shirt been pulled open, anyway and... ah, that felt so good...

"I-Izaya..." Shizuo panted with a sound that was definitely NOT a whine, "U-ugh, wh-why do I have to sit up like this?" In reality, it would not have made a difference had he been sitting up or not, but Shizuo felt like he had to complain about _something..._

The informant gave a wicked grin in response, biting Shizuo's shoulder before withdrawing. "Why this... position, Shizu-chan?" He cooed as he withdrew his hand from Shizuo's shirt and started rubbing the blond's thigh. "Ehehehe, because..."

And THAT was when Shizuo felt it. Something brushing. A hand brushing. Izaya's hand brushing... against a CERTAIN BODY PART...

"You..." Appalled, the blond sputtered breathlessly at Izaya in a mixture of fury and incredulity. "You... You! gghhh... you wouldn't dare... Izaya-"

Seeing the helpless anger in Shizuo's cute, flushed, panting face, the black-haired man couldn't help but let out a devious chuckle. "Kukukuku..."

"He-aaaaaah!" His butt was suddenly grasped roughly. "IZAY-aaah... y-youuuuu j-jerk... I'll... k-kill... you..." Izaya gave Shizuo's butt a squeeze and leaned over to kiss him gently. "You have me shaking in fear, Shizu-chan." THe informant said gravely before continuing to grope the blond.

Shizuo let out a weak growl, tightening his grip around Izaya's neck. "A-aah... ah... ah... st-stupid flea..." He murmured heatedly before burying his face in Izaya's shoulder, his own hands going under the furcoat and feeling Izaya's back beneath his black shirt.

He should NOT enjoy getting groped like this, he should not _allow _Izaya to grope him like this, he should not be simply sitting there helplessly not being able to do a thing, and, for once, Shizuo did not give a damn.

Because Izaya's hand had suddenly slipped into his pants.

* * *

_While this was going on..._

"YAY~~~! BUTT GROPING, FINALLY, THE BUTT GROPING HAS COME~~~~!" Erika cheered. "ALL RIGHT, IZAIZA~~~!"

_WWHWHWHAHWHWHWHAAAAAAAT DID SHE JUST ASSAYSA?_ Celty typed frantically, her body frozen in horror.

Unfortunately, it was only Kadota who noticed her predicament. "...uh... Celty-san?"

"..." The squeals of Erika and the calmed observations of Shinra were becoming too much for the dullahan. "..." _I-I can't keeep ththis upup... asafi i I I I I I I I I I_

Kadota raised a wary hand toward her. "O-oi, C-Celty-san, hang in there, I know-" He started when Celty's helmet began to shake violently. "AAAH?"

"OH GOD!" Togusa freaked out next to him. "IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE!"

_It neneeds to stop... it needs to stop, already... please I beg you..._

"AAAAAAAAH!" Both Kadota and Togusa yelled in panic when the dullahan's body shook violently. "OI! SOMEONE STOP HER-"

"Hmmm..." Completley unaware of the situation behind him, Shinra put a hand to his chin thoughtfully. "Maybe I should try this with Celty sometime-"

_SNAP._

"..."

"..."

"..."

With that, Celty's helmet suddenly fell off and blackness enveloped the room in one huge swoop.

Immediately, chaos erupted.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"THE END OF THE WORLD! IT HAS **COME**! THE BEGINNING OF DARKNESS!"

"WAIT, COME? WHICH COME?"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

"THEY GOT THAT FAR ALREADY? AAAAAAAAAAAAH I MUST SEE IT! OR AT LEAST HEAR IT!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP?"

"CELTY-SAN! CELTY-SAN PLEASE STOP IT RIGHT NOW! I PROMISE EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY- GAAAAAAAAH OOOOH... DAMN IT... CELTY-SAN, THAT WAS _ME_, NOT SHINRA! SHINRA'S PROBABLY TO THE OTHER SIDE OF YOU!"

"EH? What's that? My beautiful Celty is looking for me? Ah, Celty, I am right here, your eternal soul mate to always comfort you in this time of fright and darkne-BLAAAAAAAAGH-"

"GOD DANG FUDGENUTTERS! WHERE THE HECK ARE THE LIGHTS IN THIS CURSED PLACE?"

"TO-BLAGH- THE -OOF- LEFT -GA- SIDE -OOOGMPH- OF YOU! ...Oooh, wait a minute, if you're anyone besides Kyohei-kun, then that means-"

_CRASH!_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"...oops- BLEEGH! AH, STOP IT, CELTY, STOP IT, PLEASE! I APOLOGIZE WITH EVERY THREAD OF MY SOUL-"

* * *

Shizuo blinked, feeling his sweaty face heat up in front of Izaya's eyes. "A-aah... aah..." He went for hastily closing his eyes shut, his legs twisting in embarrassment.

Izaya, however, continued to stare at Shizuo, taking a sharp intake of breath at how beautiful he was, sweaty and red-faced and just so goddamn cute... "Haah..." Pale hands suddenly yanked Shizuo's pants half down, causing the blond to yelp in surprise.

His brown eyes snapped open to see Izaya's face grinning at him, his features alight with eager greed as he cornered Shizuo against the wall.

"Agh..." Clutching Izaya's back, Shizuo desperately pressed his forehead against the others, blond and black strands meshing together. "I-Izaya... I... I..."

_BEEP!_

Both men paused. "..."

A few seconds later, the lights blinked on.

"..."

"..."

"...um."

"Shizu-chan."

"Y-y-yeah?" Mentally cursing at how shaky his voice was, Shizuo glanced at Izaya, who had an unreadable expression on his face.

"...Screw Shinra's." With a force that wasn't exactly Shizuo's level, but still strong enough, the informant punched the first floor button. As the elevator started to go down, he quickly swept up Shizuo, kissing him furiously.

"Mmmm!" If Shizuo's traitorous pants weren't threatening to slip past his knees, _maybe_ he would have considered wrapping his legs around Izaya's waist, but... he couldn't just go out with his boxers showing like this! "Hah... mm... Iz-Izaya, gimme a minute to pull my pants up-"

"Mmm, no, my job~!" Giving the blond's ass another squeeze, Izaya managed to yank Shizuo's black pants up with that awesome way of his. With that, Izaya continued to randomly smash a part of the elevator wall.

_BANG!_

"I-Izaya?" Shizuo stuttered, half-convinced this was the moment Izaya was going to become nuts and suddenly go kinky on him. "Wh-what are you doing-"

The informant smirked happily at the crumbling wall. Take that, Karisawa. Shizu-chan was his alone to see.

Just how Izaya was able to know the camera was there, no one really knows. Perhaps the evil invisible fruit bat spies told him. Anyway...

"NOWWWWWWW~!" Lifting Shizuo up, Izaya kicked the elevator doors open. "SHIZU-CHAN~~" He huffed teasingly into the blond's ear. "Let's continue at your home, shall we? Ne..."

"Sh-shut up, flea..." Shizuo muttered heatedly, not knowing what else to say.

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Upstairs, Celty's darkness had finally cleared, revealing a certain illegal doctor bent over on the floor, Togusa with a huge lump on his head, sprawled against a chair, etc. Not seeming to be disappointed with the loss of the camera out all, Erika jumped excitedly. "YES~~~ GOOOOO, GOOOOOOOOOOO! GO AND HAVE PASSIONATE SEX THAT WILL REMAIN IN YOUR MEMORIES FOREVER~~~~"

"..."

With Izaya running on the street, Shizuo half expected them to crash into a stop sign or wall, since the informant was sucking like a vacuum on his neck while holding him at the same time.

Much to everyone's happiness, they did not run into any disasters on the way to Shizuo's apartment. And so, once again, Izaya had Shizuo pinned against the door, one hand supporting the blond as legs gripped his waist, the other impatiently fiddling with the knob.

"C-can't you get it open, already?" Shizuo hissed, his nails digging into Izaya's back as the man scowled. "Damn, it's not opening..." Glaring at the door, Izaya turned around. "To hell with it, I tried being nice! Take this, evil door!"

"W-wait, Izaya, what-"

_CRASH!_

The door fell down, dust flying up as Izaya raced into Shizuo's house like the madman he was. "YES~~~~ AHAHAHAHAHA!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAH! IZAYA, PUT THE DAMN DOOR BACK UP!"

"Ah, don't worry, Shizu-chan!" Izaya winked as he carried Shizuo to the bedroom, closing the door epically with his foot. "It's only I who'll be hearing your screams and moans-"

"SHUT UP, LOUSE! A-and besides..." Shizuo blushed furiously as Izaya set him down on the bed. "Y... you didn't have to use your back to break it open! I tear doors down a-all the time, so-"

"Yes," Izaya interrupted as he approached Shizuo, the sheets rustling as he did, "I did! Regardless of how strong you are..." The black-haired man grinned. "I'm Shizu-chan's boyfriend, so I need to protect him no matter what!"

His own face blushing a bit, Izaya bent down and started tugging off their shoes. "S-so, now that that utterly corny moment is over, Shizu-chan, shall we get down to our little... problem right now?"

"..." Gazing at Izaya, Shizuo softened his eyes before nodding hesitantly. Izaya smiled before tugging off Shizuo's last sock and kissing the foot, immediately earning a squirm from the blond. "A-aah! Don't do that! It's dirty!" The informant simply chuckled before letting go and crawling on top of Shizuo, tilting his head down and locking eyes with the blond.

"...you know I'll stop whenever you want me to." The reassurance was followed by a kiss on his neck. The corner's of Shizuo's mouth tugged up into a faint grin before wrapping his arms around Izaya.

"I know..."

It looked like Izaya's stay was going to be longer than his last time sleeping over. A _looooooooooooot_ longer.

* * *

**...and may the rest unfold in your imagination if you wish it to. X) **

**And no, dear readers, this is NOT the end of the story, since we still have some younger sibling introductions to take place -wink wink- muahahahaha. Reviews make a very happy Raikun, though... ;D so please do if you wish to see that and the "morning after" lol!**

**Ah, and to "I Don't Have A Name" who reviewed "Don't Call Me That", if you're reading this, I just really appreciated your review! ^^ It made me feel so happy inside! XD Thank you, one day, I really hope to write better humor, but it doesn't seem like that's happening anytime soon, lol.**


	20. The Morning After

**A/N: Omg... so many reviews! ^^ Everyone who reviewed... you guys are the best! You make me feel soooooo happy... but wow, twenty chapters! 0_0" I thought I'd be done by then... Oh well, please enjoy the story. ^.^**

**Warning: mentions of sex... and yeah.**

**

* * *

**

…Eh? Dazed and confused, Heiwajima Shizuo lazily opened one eye to be greeted by the darkness of his room.

After several seconds, a frown appeared on his face. He felt… strange. His body… felt strange, for some odd reason that he couldn't quite pinpoint. To make matters more confusing, he felt kind of nice, too… more than nice, amazing, in fact. The frown on his face suddenly deepened.

…And in addition to feeling strange and amazing, he also felt sore. Extremely sore, so to speak. Exactly where he was sore, Shizuo did not care to specify.

"Ow… damn…" The blond muttered as pain wracked his lower body at the slightest movement he made. "Wha…" His voice sounded hoarse and dry, as if he had been shouting a lot. "…what the fuck just happened?"

"I fucked you."

"…"

Shizuo wasn't expecting an answer. So it was only natural that he had to hold back a surprised sound when he received the casual reply.

"…so you did…" Shizuo muttered irritably into the pillows as memories came rushing back to his head. Memories that, of course, made him flush.

"I also banged, screwed, slept, and had sex with you." The voice continued on happily. "Oh, and I made love to you, too."

…Made love, huh? Shizuo sighed and pressed back into the arms that were embracing him. "Thanks for the information, flea." He murmured grumpily, closing the eye that had been open.

"Oh, and I love you, Shizu-chan."

"Yeah, yeah, okay."

For a few precious seconds, dead silence filled the darkened room.

Then…

"…"

"…"

Shizuo's eyes shot back open. "WHAAAAAT?" The blond demanded, getting up and turning around to gawk at his lover.

Stretched and relaxed, Orihara Izaya gave Shizuo a winner smirk before raising himself up as well and gazing into Shizuo's eyes. "I love you. I really love Shizu-chan! I love the way he gets angry, the way he gets shy, the way he gets when he's aroused, every little thing that he does~! I have for a long time now!" He leaned over to give a kiss to Shizuo's forehead.

At the same time, Izaya's hand reached over and clasped Shizuo's, entwining their fingers. "And I do realize that it would have probably been better to say it in the middle of our love making, right before your climax, but then you passed out." Izaya shrugged and gave a sheepish smile. "But I do love you~!"

Shizuo felt his cheeks burning as he heard this. "…u-um…" Feeling hot, the blond jerked his head in embarrassment and hastily dropped down, pulling the blanket over him with his free hand. "…"

Izaya laughed at him, but it wasn't an unkind laugh. "Ah, Shizu-chan…" He lifted the hand he was holding and kissed it before lying back down beside the lump that was his boyfriend.

"…"

"….mm mm mm…"

"…" Izaya's eyes jerked open. "Eh? …what was that?" He lifted part of the blanket up gently, exposing the head of blond hair.

"…" Cheeks heavily flushed, Shizuo closed his eyes before repeating it hurriedly. "I... Iloveyoutoo! Good night!" He tried to fling the blanket over him once more, but Izaya caught his wrist and pulled Shizuo flush against him. "A-aah…" Blushing again, Shizuo rested his head against Izaya's bare shoulder, shifting and feeling the pulse of his throat.

"Ahahahaha…" Izaya kissed Shizuo's hair before nuzzling into him gently. "Good night, Shizu-chan."

"…ggggggh..." Not wanting to worry about anything else, Shizuo closed his eyes and pressed his face against Izaya's neck again.

"..."

"...hang on, I passed out?"

"Yes, you did."

"...damn everything."

* * *

_A few hours later…_

"…"

Shizuo NEEDED to take a shower. Yes, it did feel really good to be nestled against Izaya's warm body in the sheets like this, but… but certain things were already started to feel uncomfortable and dirty, so… right now, escape from his lover was the first priority. And no, Shizuo was NOT exaggerating.

At first, he had tried to pry his arms out of Izaya's embrace. To his relief, it worked, which was good …and then, almost instantly, Izaya's arms shot out again and wrapped around his waist. …which was not good. Definitely not good, regardless of how good it felt.

Thus began the epic journey of Shizuo half limping to the bathroom, dragging behind him his rotten flea of a boyfriend, still latched on to Shizuo's foot, sound asleep, and buck naked.

It was only by a rare strike of luck did Shizuo manage to shake his foot free and hastily shut the bathroom door behind him. As soon as the lock clicked into place, the blond leaned against the counter, muffling his scream of agony.

Shizuo was pretty much used to pain, and had unconsciously thought of himself as pain tolerant. He had taken fists, bats, bricks to the head, suffered who knows how many broken bones during childhood, heck, he had gotten hit by a moving truck and still had the strength to run home.

But… THIS PAIN… was just… "Rrrrrggghhhhh…" Shizuo pounded the counter weakly, his head sinking to the surface. "…fucking flea, I will kill him… or at least make him suffer…. Owwwwwww goddamn…" After a few more minutes of swearing and dwelling in uncommon self pity, the man finally dragged himself to the shower.

Under the gratifying spray of water that slightly lessened the ache in his butt, as well as the numerous hickeys and bite marks all over his body (HE WAS GOING TO KILL THE FLEA), Shizuo leaned against the wall wearily, not wanting to even think about the mess on his legs.

How the hell did this come about anyway? After all the time Izaya had been pressing for this to happen… it only took Shizuo to want it as well and they were already…

Shizuo hung his head in embarrassment, water dripping down his bangs. …well, he hadn't been mistaken. He certainly did enjoy it… but… oh god… The blond banged his head lightly against the shower wall. If he was going to make those… those kind of utterly humiliating _sounds_ every time they had sex… granted that he hadn't given a fuck at the moment, but still… He had been so _loud_...

Turning the shower off, Shizuo grabbed a towel, rubbing gently at his tender body. Without warning, an unbidden memory suddenly popped into his mind, Izaya's face above him, the face flushed and the mouth breathing hard, but certainly less than Shizuo as he caressed Shizuo's face gently, his red eyes alight with lust but also patience as well as he…

"_I love you!" _"…" Shizuo hastily slapped his cheek. His thought process had gotten so wrong to the point that it wasn't even wrong anymore. Did that make any sense?

Sighing again, the blond finished drying himself. Having forgotten to bring any clothes (how could he have anyway, with the flea leeching on to him like that…), Shizuo wrapped the towel securely around his waist.

Oh well. What happened with him and Izaya would happen with him and Izaya, but Shizuo had a feeling that, somehow, everything would work out between them. Even with Kasuka and Izaya-OH FUCK KASUKA AND IZAYA. The blond felt his shoulders automatically slump. He… had forgotten about that…well… they did still have two days before his little brother would come… …two days before the world would end….

His mood significantly dampened, Shizuo opened the door…

And was attacked by a demon straight from hell. "SHIZU-CHAN!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Losing his balance, Shizuo braced himself, certain that he would fall. Instead, a pair of sturdy arms held him in place, preventing him from dropping onto the floor.

The blond held back a groan as Izaya nuzzled his cheek, nothing but a thin towel separating their bodies. "Mmmmm, how naughty of you, Shizu-chan! To have taken a shower without me! I'm so hurt~~!"

Shizuo gave a weak snort, tugging up his towel warningly. "Hah! Probably not as much as my BUTT, flea…"

Immediately, Izaya's playful face changed to one of concern. "Does it really hurt that much, Shizu-chan? Th-there wasn't any blood, was there? Agh, I'm so sorry, I should have carried you instead! Do you need-"

"I'M FINE." Shizuo growled, pushing Izaya's worried hands away. "Just go and wash yourself off, flea, before it stays there!"

Much to his unease, Izaya continued to examine his face carefully. After what felt like forever, the informant grinned as usual and kissed Shizuo on the lips. "Okay then! As long as my precious Shizu-chan is okay~!"

As Shizuo determinedly looked in front of him, Izaya's voice took on a sly tone. "And also… no need for this~!" Without warning, the towel was suddenly snatched off of his body. "AAAAAGH!" Shizuo yelped, barely managing to yank it back before it revealed too much. "Izaya! You jerk!"

"No need to by shy anymore, Shizu-chan~!" The said jerk taunted, tugging the towel away from him. His face bright red, Shizuo desperately pulled the cloth back. "GIVE IT BACK! IZAYA! STOP IT!"

All of a sudden, a cool breeze whipped through the room. His skin still cold from the shower, Shizuo couldn't help but give an involuntary shiver.

Izaya gave a pout. "Huh… if you're really that cold, then, Shizu-chan…" The blond felt something heavy land on his head. "Wear this!"

Blinking, Shizuo felt around and realized it was Izaya's coat. "Izaya?" He asked hesitantly. His boyfriend smiled before running a hand over Shizuo's cheek and kissing his forehead again. "Aww… and I didn't even get to dry you…" With that, Izaya skipped merrily into the bathroom, leaving Shizuo with his fur coat and a messily thrown towel spread across his… ahem, lower body.

"…"

Yes, everything would be fine… Shizuo thought to himself helplessly. ...just fine…

* * *

As Shizuo limped through his house, he eventually managed to locate the rest of his clothes, which was no simple chore. They were all strewn haphazardly over the place.

First, there was his shirt wrinkled and torn, thrown to a far corner of the bedroom, along with his vest.

Then, there was his pants, that had somehow made their way _out_ of the bedroom and in the middle of the kitchen.

His boxers, however, had traveled all the way to the front door.

"..."

After five seconds of gawking at the situation, Shizuo had decided not to question anything, and simply collected the rest of his clothing.

Glancing at the front door, or, rather, what was left of it, he was suddenly reminded of the fact that he needed to get a new one, since the first one had been DESTROYED by his crazy nut of a boyfriend.

It didn't help that it was also a moment where Shizuo _needed_ privacy, especially since he was limping around, dressed in a fur coat (how that thing could fit him, he had no idea), and underwear shorts.

Having already folded Izaya's clothes into a neat pile, the blond dumped his own clothes into the middle of the room carelessly. Feeling the cold floor under his bare feet, Shizuo cursed again. Why was everything feeling so cold now? This wasn't fair!

Stomping around his apartment, his mouth sprouting more profanity with each step, Shizuo yanked open a random drawer and started to fish around for slippers. Finding one, he quickly bent down and put it on, still rummaging for the other one while hopping on one foot. "Grrgh… damn… where the hell is it?"

He had to bite his lip hard to keep himself from yelping when Izaya's arms suddenly wrapped around his back, rubbing his skin. "I-Izaya!" Shizuo hastily turned around, relieved to see the informant was dressed in his usual shirt and jeans. "G-geez... Don't scare me like that-" The blond cut off his own sentence when he spotted the matching slipper clutched in Izaya's hand. "...ah..."

Grinning in an utterly stupid way, Izaya knelt down and slid the other slipper onto Shizuo's foot with a flourish. "I've found you, my princess~~~" The man sang, taking one of Shizuo's hands and pressing his lips to it.

The said blond rolled his eyes heavily before snatching his hand back. Not at all discouraged, Izaya sprang up and embraced Shizuo, nuzzling into his head without warning. "Nom nom! Mine~~~!"

"Gagh!" Shizuo squawked indignantly before leaning into his boyfriend's arms huffily. "Hmph! You are so stupid..."

The two remained standing for several seconds. Then... Izaya pulled back, his gaze locking with Shizuo's. "...I really did mean it, though."

"H-huh?" Shizuo asked hastily, his face turning hot.

"What I said, later on... last night..." The bodyguard's face flushed heavily as he jerked his gaze downward. "S-said what? You... you said a lot of things last night, flea..."

Izaya let out a wicked chuckle, leaning his forehead against his boyfriend's. "As did you, Shizu-chan, as did you..." Before Shizuo could send the flea another glare, Izaya gently kissed him. "But I do love you. Okay?"

"Y-yeah..." Shizuo muttered, his gaze cast off stubbornly to the side. "I... I do love you too!"

"You do?" Izaya perked up hopefully, sounding like a child who had gotten free candy. Shizuo rolled his eyes again. "Yes, I do, you insane louse of a boyfrien- oof!" The blond was suddenly held tightly as Izaya happily rubbed his cheek against Shizuo's head. "Yay! I'm so happy!"

"..." Shizuo sighed before reluctantly smiling. "...good. Now fix my door."

"...eh?"

"My door."

"Door?"

"The door you BROKE yesterday, Izaya."

Izaya pouted immediately. "After our first night of passionate sex, all Shizu-chan cares about is the door?"

"Yes." Shizuo replied baldly, freeing one of his arms to rub his back. "I like privacy, if you didn't know already."

"Hmph!" Now fuming childishly, the black-haired man played with the edges of his coat that was, yes, still on Shizuo. "Yes, you do! To an unreasonable point that you would not shower _together_ with your _boyfriend_!"

The blond simply snorted. "That was because the said boyfriend wouldn't wake up!"

"Then you should have waited~~! Patient is a virtue, Shizu-chan!"

"Oh, quit going on about that, flea..." Shizuo grumbled as he tugged up his shorts self-consciously. "Fine, fine, next time, we'll take a shower together-" He froze when he realized what he had just said.

"..."

"..."

"...Shizu-chan..." Izaya started, a awestruck, dreamy look on his face as he cupped the blond's cheek.

"NOT A WORD, FLEA."

"...you said... next time... next time-"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOT A WORD!"

* * *

Izaya had to wait a full minute before he was able to speak properly. "You didn't..." The informant broke into a fit of chuckles. "Ahahahahahahaha, oh, Shizu-chan..."

"SHUT. UP." Shizuo hissed as he slouched irritably on the bed. If adding insult to injury wasn't enough already... Izaya just had to find that.

"Aaaah..." Izaya sighed fondly before flapping the paper out again and continuing to read. "Oh, this sure brings back memories..."

"The hell, Izaya, it wasn't even that long ago..." The blond muttered, wanting to disappear.

"Mmm, no, it was... 'ways to get Izaya to stop liking me'... hehe, you didn't even know the kanji of my name then... but you really are straightforward, aren't you, Shizu-chan?" The informant winked at Shizuo, only earning a scowl from his lover.

" '1: Tell Izaya I don't like him' " Izaya shrugged. "...well, we already saw how that turned out, Shizu-chan. ...Bwahaha, yes, that was a definite failure... as was the second one, as well..."

Shizuo groaned wearily. "Just stop talking..." Forget the awkward moment with Kasuka. This was a thousand times worst. How Izaya had managed to get his hands on the _paper_ now, of all times, Shizuo had no idea.

" '3: Kiss someone in front of him?' " Izaya's brow furrowed. "Eh? That was what you were doing that time?"

"What?" His boyfriend squawked incredulously. "You never knew?"

Izaya scratched his head. "I thought she randomly attacked you out of nowhere... oh, no matter, you are mine now. '4: Avoid conversation with him at all costs!' Ah, I remember this one!" The man exclaimed happily, turning to Shizuo. "This is the one where I ended up proposing marriage to y-"

_SMACK! _"Oof!" The pillow sliding from his face, Izaya caught the look in Shizuo's eyes and winced. "...which, I will talk about no further. '5: Kill'... 'the fucker'..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

After several seconds in darkened silence, Shizuo finally snapped. "Gaaaaaaaah!" The poor blond wailed. "Just say something, flea! I'm sorry-"

Izaya burst into laughter. "Pfft, Shizu-chan, you are just too adorable..."

"..." ...Wanting to kill Izaya was adorable? Really?

" '6: Introduce him to other people so he'll fall for them instead...' '7: Introduce him to a whole bunch of people who look and act exactly like me so he'll be satisfied with one of them instead.' ...you were getting desperate, then, weren't you?"

"..."

" '8: Wear pink to scare him away'..." Izaya put a thoughtful hand under his chin. "Mmmm... now that I think about it, that bunny suit really did suit you, ehehe-"

The bedside lamp went flying at his head.

_CRASH! _"Aaaaah!"

The informant cursed as he hauled himself back up, rubbing at his hair. "Owww... and you call yourself the victim here, Shizu-chan?"

"I AM the victim here, FLEA!"

Izaya opened his mouth to say something, but then closed. "...you are. I stand corrected, Shizu-chan."

"Gaaaaah..." Shizuo banged his head in frustration. Izaya chuckled as he picked up the paper. "After the pink attempt, that's all there was, rig..." His voice trailed off as his eyes scanned the bottom of the page.

"..." Shizuo coughed awkwardly. "Um... if you're looking at the 'go out with him and see how it goes one'... um... that one... was by Kasuka... ...j-just to let you know... since the handwriting is obviously differed. O-oh, but that wasn't the only reason why I went out with you in the first place, Izaya-"

"That is surprising." Quirking an eyebrow, Izaya set the paper carefully back onto the table. "Well, I suppose that almost changes my opinion of Kasuka-kun..."

"Uh..." Shizuo glanced at Izaya suspiciously. "Just what did you think of him before you saw that?"

"..."

"...nooooothing..."

"..."

"...Izaya-"

"TICKLE ATTACK!" The informant exclaimed, pouncing on Shizuo without warning. "AAAH?" The blond yelped in surprise, his arms shooting out to protect his ticklish spots. "GAAAH! IZAYA, STOP IT! A-Aaaah... h-hey, d-don't change the subject- mmm!"

"Muahahahahaha..." Izaya laughed creepily as he continued to assault Shizuo's weak spots. "Shizu-chan, go out with me!"

"Wh-what?" Shizuo demanded, trying fruitlessly to grab Izaya's hands in an attempt to save his pride. "A-aah, h-hey, don't touch there... n-no, flea, my butt still- ahaha, hurts!"

"I was that rough?" Izaya asked innocently, still tickling Shizuo at a fast pace. "Then, fear not! As Shizu-chan's boyfriend and attacker, I will carry him to wherever-"

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Shizuo spat, managing to stab Izaya in the eyes with a finger.

The pervert simply closed one eye and kept tickling mercilessly. "OH, BUT I WILL! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! SO, GO OUT WITH ME SHIZU-CHAN!"

"GAAAAAAH- aaaaaah... d-damn, y-you..." Shizuo swatted at Izaya playfully. "Why do you always end up straddling me against something when you ask me out?"

"...to make sure you can't escape me?" Izaya offered, leaning down to kiss Shizuo. "Mmm. But come on, let me take you on a date as compensation for your poor ass, Shizu-chan."

"...you just had to say that, didn't you?"

"Yes. Yes, I did."

* * *

_Ten minutes later..._

"Wah..." Izaya drooped in disappointment when Shizuo finished buttoning up his shirt. "Can't you just leave at least one button open?"

Shizuo sighed as he pocketed his phone. "Stop being such a dramatic pervert... anyway... what do you have in mind, flea?" Izaya pulled his fur coat on again before twirling around and smiling.

"Why don't we go to a cafe or someplace like that? Since you never want to go to Russian Sushi..." The informant added with a small pout.

"H-hey, with good reason!" Shizuo protested defensively, adjusting his tie as he stepped outside. "There's no way I want to see Simon there..."

"Ahaha!" Izaya laughed as he followed Shizuo, closing the door behind him. "I'm sure Simon would never give you a hard time, Shizu-chan..." His hand reached out and took Shizuo's casually.

"..." Shizuo felt his cheeks heat up. Even after what happened last night, just holding hands with Izaya made him blush like crazy... Not to mention the confident, unhesitant way Izaya squeezed his hand, despite the high risk of broken fingers...

"Shizu-chan? Something wrong?" Realizing he had been staring into space for too long, Shizuo jerked his head up to see his boyfriend glancing at him curiously. "A-ah... n-no... it's nothing." He murmured hastily, clutching Izaya's hand back.

* * *

_Five minutes later..._

"Okay, Shizu-chan, give me a minute, I'll be right back!" Izaya gave a mock salute, winking at Shizuo before walking away.

"...Haah..." Slouching against the back of his chair, Shizuo slid his hands into his pockets. "...geez..." Their walk to the cafe had been miraculously devoid of disaster.

In fact, the only thing that ticked Shizuo off at the moment was Izaya. Izaya was happy. As in insanely happy. As in so happy, sunshine and rainbows were appearing everywhere he walked, birds were singing all around him, and that other joyful, radiate, irritating bullshit!

"How extreme of an afterglow can you get..." The blond muttered (quietly) as he watched Izaya waltz like an idiot across the room. ...If Shizuo hadn't been holding his hand earlier, is this how Izaya would have walked? UGH...

"Um, excuse me?" A timid voice beside him asked.

"Huh?" Blinking, Shizuo turned his head to see two teenage girls, both fiddling with their hands and looking at him. "U-um..." One of the girls began politely, a blush appearing on her face, "Y-you wouldn't happen... to be going... going out with the man right there, would you?"

Shizuo turned his head grumpily to look at Izaya, who had stars glittering around his aura. "...you mean that _idiot_?"

"Y-yes..."

"..." The bodyguard sighed before nodding his head crossly. "Unfortunately, yes."

"Aaaaaaaaaaah!" Both of the girls squealed in excitement, putting their hands to their cheeks. "We knew it! You two make such a cute couple!"

"..."

"Th-thanks?" Shizuo offered feebly, taking one of his hands out to rub at his hair. As the two teenagers hurried away, whispering excitedly to each other, Shizuo couldn't help but cross his arms and wonder. He and Izaya were good as a couple... that's what pretty much everyone thought... now if only Kasuka would think that too when he came... and if a certain flea could behave...

"Shizu-chan?" The blond glanced up to see the flea setting down a cup in front of him. "What was that all about?" The informant asked, cocking his head in the direction of the two girls.

The blond shrugged, his cheeks starting to heat up. "...Th-they... were just asking if you were my boyfriend. Then they started going nuts when I told them yes."

Izaya's eyes lit up in pleasure. "Oh? Really? Then! I must thank them-" Shizuo hastily grabbed the back of his coat before he could do anything. "Gah! No! Don't you dare, flea-"

"But Shizu-chan-" Izaya trailed off when he looked carefully at Shizuo's hand.

"...what, flea?"

"...my ring."

"...what?" Shizuo asked, his eye twitching.

"...my ring." Izaya grinned creepily. "You're still wearing it."

"A-ah! ...w-well... th-that's... erm-"

"You are! Kyaaaaa, I'm so happy~~"

"...GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

* * *

**Crappy ending again... _ I was hoping to put some part of Kasuka's arrival into this, but then it was like... nah... **

**Anyway... how many of you bet Kasuka's visit won't exactly be a cup of tea? XD Reviews make me twirl around in my friend's spinning chair like Izaya does. X)**


	21. Off Limits!

**A/N: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKS... 0_0"" Too much time has gone buy since I've last updated this story... **

**Jitziqu : Aaaah thank you! ^ ^" though... kasuka still doesn't appear until next chapter...**

**Purianee : Wow... that sucks. 0_0" lol... fear not, there's still more to it... ^_^ the end... is not near...**

**Nata: Ah, thanks! ^ ^ ...and... well, we'll see about that...**

**Warnings: Language, mentions of... sex... yaoi, etc. This is kind of a... little snippet before Kasuka comes, because I felt like there was still a little more time before he does... ^ ^" sorry to everyone who was expecting him.**

* * *

_In the morning..._

"…Hey, Izaya?" Shizuo called out lazily as he snuggled further into the blankets. "Izaya? Are y…"

"…mgrhghgh… gah…."

"…"

"…" The blond rolled his eyes. Who knew the so smooth Orihara Izaya could have made such a… unflattering noise while sleeping? It was quite convenient neither had work today, since, it appeared, they were too lazy to even get up.

Speaking of work… Shizuo choked in horror. OH NO.

Aaah… that reminded him, Tom-san… He… had forgotten about that too… He had practically… no, Shizuo LITERALLY did shout at the top of his lungs that he wanted to, well, have sex with Izaya right in front of his boss. …how was he supposed to talk to Tom now after that? Awkward would not be the word! It would… it would… it would… it would be...

"…Haa…" Shizuo let out a sigh. On second thought, Tom saw the worst of Shizuo on a regular basis, so maybe he could still go back… He would just… have to pretend that it didn't happen at all… at all…

Staying in bed with Izaya did strange things to Shizuo. It somehow made him feel all his troubles were a lot smaller than they seemed… or maybe it was the fact he was so sluggish at the moment?

Shizuo tried to swallow and realized his throat was dry. "Aghh…" The blond considered the thought of getting up. Then he considered the thought of Izaya dragging him down and not letting him go an inch.

"…"

"…okay." Shizuo took a deep breath and rubbed his hands together, or as best as he could while lying down. This was it. Time for Operation Escape the Deadly, Perverted Clutches of Orihara Izaya plan to go into effect. First... He started to haul himself out of Izaya's arms. "Ggggh-" How could fleas have such strong arms? "Come on-"

"Why're you trying ta leave me?" The lazy mumble sent shivers down Shizuo's neck.

Shizuo sweat-dropped. "A-ah, Izaya, I was jus-"

"I love you..."

"...what?" Shizuo turned around, the beginnings of a blush on his cheeks. "Izay-"

"Pillow..."

"...eh?"

"Piilow..."

...PILLOW? The blond twisted his head around to see Izaya clutching onto him. He was also muttering in his sleep with the face of a creepster .

"..." _Twitch. _"IZAYA. LET ME GO. **NOW**."

"Mmmmm..." Izaya planted a kiss on Shizuo's ear. "...Pillow... I'm tired of letting you go. I love you... don't leave me... ...I love you forever, pillow..."

By the time Shizuo managed to speak again, it was a barely controlled voice. "Y... YOU... AND YOU ALSO GROPE YOUR PILLOW, TOO?"

Burying his face in Shizuo's shoulder, Izaya squeezed Shizuo's butt again. "No, that's just the special spot my hands like to grab when I'm holding my pillow. I don't grope anything except for Shizu-chan, because groping Shizu-chan really feels nice. On the other hand, this feels good too... mmmmm..." He kissed the crook of Shizuo's neck. "Pillow, you don't mind if I molest you, do you?"

"Um, YES, I do mind because I am not a fucking pillow! Izaya! Stop groping me! AAAH!"

"Of course you don't, since you're an inanimate object!" The informant snuggled more against Shizuo cheerfully. "PILLOW-CHAN~~~~~~~ STAY WITH ME FOREVER!"

"NEVER! LET ME GO YOU INSANE PERVERTED FLEA- AA-AAAH! HEY, DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH THERE! OI! STOP- oooooohh..." The blond blushed as Izaya kissed him once more. "...fl-flea..."

The black-haired man opened one eye lazily. "Haah?"

"...tch..." Shizuo clenched his teeth before mustering all of his strength into his right leg and kicking behind him. "GET OUT!"

_CRASH!_

_BANG!_

"..."

"..."

Izaya opened his eyes blearily as his body slowly slid down the door. "...I deeply apologize with every fiber of my being, Shizu-chan."

"Y... YOU..." The blond hissed, sputtering. "SO YOU KNEW I WASN'T A PILLOW THE WHOLE TIME?"

"Of course..." In his rather undignified position, Izaya still managed a snicker. "Unlike some humans, I don't resort to clutching inanimate objects when I already have such a _heavenly _body in my grasp-" _SMACK__!_

* * *

_In the afternoon..._

"Hey..."

"...what?" Shizuo finally answered, reluctant to break the peaceful silence as he leaned his back against his boyfriend's shoulder. Izaya set down the book he was reading and shifted his body, wrapping his arms around Shizuo's waist as he kissed the exposed skin of his neck. "...how about I give you a massage?"

"Huh?"

"How about I give you a massage?" The informant repeated patiently, already moving his fingers up to Shizuo's shoulders. "You may pretend that you're fine, Shizu-chan, but I can tell you're still a little sore..."

"A-ah..." Shizuo blushed, whipping his head around. "N-no! Don't you dare! H-how would _massaging_ th... _there_ would do any good, flea?"

"Kuku... must Shizu-chan always jump to the dirty conclusions?" Izaya asked teasingly, winking at the flushing blond. "I just want you to relax..." He started kneading the blond's shoulders gently. "You're always too tense..." Izaya added in a whisper, brushing against the blond's ear.

"Th-that's because you a-always..." Shizuo reluctantly slumped his shoulders, secretly enjoying the attention he was getting. "Mmm..." He found himself leaning back, sighing in satisfaction as Izaya's hands moved from his shoulders to his back.

"Ooooooh..." Shizuo groaned. "...a-ah, yeah, that spot, Izaya..."

"Here?"

"Yeah... right there... hmmmm..." With only a slight moment of hesitation, Izaya slipped his hands under the back of Shizuo's shirt, grinning when his hands met the bare skin of his back.

"O-oi..." Shizuo tried to look back, but Izaya pressed his lips to the blond's head. "It's easier for me to massage this way."

"...F-fine, flea, as long as you just don't go doing-" _Squeeze._

"...oops."

_Twitch._

"IIIIIIIIZAAAYAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

* * *

_In the evening..._

"Ow..." Shizuo cursed under his breath as his head collided with the roof of the table. "Damn it..." Holding his head with one hand and the fallen chopstick with the other, the blond got up slowly.

Immediately, he felt a concerned hand on his arm. "You okay there, Shizu-chan?"

"Agh, yeah, I'm fine..." Not seeming to buy this response, Izaya scooped his boyfriend's face in his hands. "Let me be the judge of that..."

Shizuo rolled his eyes, his hands coming up to rest on Izaya's. "Stop it, flea, it's already fine-" His protest was cut short when Izaya suddenly kissed him on the lips.

"...!" The blond stiffened for a minute before softening and kissing back, his hands going around Izaya's neck.

After a few minutes, Izaya was soon pressing Shizuo against a wall, their mouths pressed hotly together as their tongues played, a few moans escaping the blond. Shizuo's legs were wrapping around Izaya's waist, and with barely controlled lust, the informant grabbed Shizuo's butt, thinking that "next time" may not be too far off when-

_DONG!_

"G-GAAH!" Shizuo's hand swiftly shot up, pushing Izaya's face up from his. "Eh?"

"O-okay," the blond started, breathing heavily as he tried to keep his composure, "th-that's enough for one day."

"...HAAAH?" Izaya whined, staring at his lover incredulously. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I-I mean... u-um..." Blushing, Shizuo looked down. "I-Izaya, you..." He glanced up at Izaya, only to sweat-drop in horror. "Fl-flea? Wh-what is with that look?"

"...aaah..." An expression on his face that looked like he was about to rape Shizuo, Izaya tightened his hold on the blond's ass. "...that face, Shizu-chan... don't make that face..."

"WHAT? SHOULDN'T THAT BE _MY_ LINE?"

Izaya continued dazedly. "When I see that face... how can I _not _help but... CONTINUE TO MOLEST YOU!" Without warning, the informant dove in and nipped Shizuo's neck, earning a startled yelp from the former bartender, his butt cheeks being squeezed.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Shizuo frantically pushed back Izaya as he tore himself away from those lecherous arms. "O-okay, that's it!" The blond yelled, unaware that he was making a "time-out" signal with his hands. "I-Izaya! Starting from now until Kasuka goes back, my ass is OFF LIMITS!"

**BOOOOOOOM! **A lightning bolt crashed behind the informant as his entire body turned white in horror. "EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?"

Gaining some confidence from Izaya's reaction, Shizuo nodded his head determinedly, sticking his hand out in front of him to add emphasis. "That's right! No touching it for... around three days!"

"THREE **DAYS?**" The lightning bolt crashed again behind Izaya as his mouth dropped open once more. He started to sway to the ground as his figure became transparent. "Th... three... whole... days... without... touching... Shizu-chan's..."

"..." Eye twitching, the blond felt like literally throwing something at his boyfriend. Was his butt really that-

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Suddenly becoming solid lines and colorful again, Izaya shot up, his face right next to Shizuo's. "Shizu-chan... _only_ meant his butt, right?"

"E-eh?" Taken back by Izaya's sudden recovery, Shizuo found himself involuntarily leaning back against the wall. "Th... that-"

"Yes, you did!" Izaya cried triumphantly, placing his hands on either side of Shizuo's head. "Which means... I am allowed to touch Shizu-chan ANYWHERE else!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAT? N-NO, THAT'S-" Shizuo found himself silenced by Izaya's lips again. "Mmmm..." The blond ended up weaving his hands through Izaya's hair as those pale hands started to roam up and down his chest.

"H-haaah..." Izaya's knee was starting to nudge his crotch again, when-

_Brrrrrrrr. Brrrrrrrr._

"Hm?" Shizuo hastily disentangled himself from Izaya, sliding his hand into his pocket to pull out his ringing cellphone. "Hello?"

"Hi, Nii-san."

"Oh, Kasuka. What's up?" Izaya listened on to the conversation, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Just wanted to let you know that I'm coming in the morning, so could you pick me up around eight?"

"Eight? Okay, sure." Shizuo smiled. "I'll be waiting there for you, then."

"I'm looking forward to seeing you."

"Yeah, me too." As he said the last words, he felt Izaya come up from behind and rest his head on Shizuo's shoulder, wrapping his arms around the blond's waist. "A-ah, and I-Izaya's looking forward to meeting you too!"

"..." A very length pause followed on the other line, until he heard Kasuka clear his throat. "...Ahem. So am I."

"...o-okay then."

"See you tomorrow."

"See you..." Closing his phone and placing it on the table, Shizuo turned back to Izaya. "Flea... you wanna stay over again?"

"Huh?" Izaya blinked. "Sleeping over..."

Shizuo growled. "I am not _limping_ over to pick up my brother, flea!"

Chuckling, the informant put his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, I get it, no worries, Shizu-chan. Only cuddling and teasing tonight, then."

"Y-yeah, sure, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, TEASING? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?"

"Kishishishishishi..." Suddenly, Izaya leaned over and scooped Shizuo up bridal style. "AH?"

"Come on, Shizu-chan, let's take a bath _together_ before we go to sleep, ehehehe."

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

* * *

**+_+ I keep getting influenced by Shoujo manga too often in this story... XDDDDDDDD Raikun loves those who review~~**


	22. Misunderstandings

**A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH hello everyone. =) A thousand apologies for this late chapter, due to evil school work. T T" But many thanks to all that reviewed! All you people really make my day. ^.^**

**And this... is just really random... +_+" GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I think I failed here...**

* * *

"Shizu-chan…" Izaya whispered, shaking Shizuo's shoulder gently.

"Gggggh..."

"Hey, wake up."

"…Mmmmm…" The blond shifted, attempting to bury his face deeper into the pillow.

"Oi, Shizu-chan…" Izaya slowly tugged the blanket off of his boyfriend's body. "Time to wake up…"

"Nooooooo…" Shizuo muttered drowsily as Izaya lifted his chin. "Not yet… mm…" The informant kissed him before pulling back and snickering quietly. "Oh dear… did I tease Shizu-chan a bit _too_ much last night?"

"…"

"….WHAT?" His brown eyes jerking open, Shizuo flung the sheets away from him. "HUH?"

Izaya chuckled again, sliding off the bed. "Good. You're awake. Let's go now."

"Eh?" The blond blinked, realization hitting him. "Oh… oh FUCK!" Shizuo hastily scrambled out of bed and began dressing wildly. "KASUKA! I NEED TO PICK HIM UP! Izaya! How long was I asleep for-" A cool hand touched his shoulder.

"Relax." The black-haired man smiled at Shizuo reassuringly. "You still have half an hour to pick him up."

"…hah?" Frozen in the process of yanking his pants on, Shizuo's mouth hung open. "What... …O… Oh. Okay then. Thanks…"

Izaya waved his hand lazily. "I'm going to use the toilet now. Go downstairs and make us breakfast, hm?" He disappeared from the room.

"…uh…" Grabbing his belt, Shizuo tried to shake a wave of uneasiness from him. Izaya… actually took the time to wake him up so Shizuo wouldn't pick his brother up late? There was something too suspicious going on here…

"Make me pancakes again, Shizu-chan~~"

"WHAT? Aren't you supposed to be in the damn bathroom right now, flea? And… a-and make your own breakfast! Izaya!"

_A few minutes later…_

"Y… you want to come with me to pick Kasuka up?" Shizuo repeated dubiously as he cleaned the last of the dishes. "…Why?"

"I said it before, didn't I?" Izaya rested his head on Shizuo's shoulder, kissing his neck. "If I want to be part of your life, I should meet your family as well."

"I-I know that, but still..." Images of Izaya throwing knives at Kasuka filled Shizuo's mind. "...y-you don't have to force yourself if you really don't want to, flea-"

"Of course I'm not forcing myself." Chuckling, Izaya ran his hands down Shizuo's sides slowly, feeling the blond squirm a bit. "I just want you to be happy. After all, it's not good if Kasuka-kun and I don't get along, right?"

Shizuo blushed. "W-well, that... that is..." Izaya putting his (potential) dislike for Kasuka aside for the sake of granting Shizuo happiness... sounded a little _too_ good to be true. Or perhaps he was simply paranoid. "...that... that's good, I guess..." He mumbled.

"What are you talking about, of course it is!" Izaya kissed Shizuo's neck again before finally sliding off of the blond. "Come on then, we don't want to be late now, do we?"

"... I... I guess not..." Shizuo answered uneasily, unable to quell a nagging feeling inside of him.

* * *

"Kasuka!" Shizuo called, waving a hand as he approached his younger brother through the thick crowd. It was amazing that Kasuka wasn't getting any attention from any fans or the media, but Shizuo was more than willing not to question this. "Hey! I know it hasn't really been a while this time, but I'm glad you're here."

The actor gave a small nod, a small grin on his face. "I am too." For a few seconds, the brothers simply smiled at each other. Until... Shizuo remembered who was behind him and quickly coughed awkwardly, taking a step back. "O-oh, and this... is my b-boyfriend, Izaya." His face red, Shizuo gestured loosely to the informant.

Kasuka bowed slightly. "Izaya-san. It's nice to finally meet you." He murmured in a surprisingly courteous tone.

"The pleasure's all mine." Izaya replied, lowering his head in brief acknowledgement before glancing at Kasuka , a friendly grin on his face. "Kasuka-kun. Ah, here, let me take your bag-"

"Thank you very much."

Shizuo scratched his head, blinking at the two men. They... actually were getting along? "Um... so... should we go, then?"

Kasuka nodded in agreement. "Sure."

"Oh, by the way," Izaya added as they walked down the sidewalk, "I saw your new movie. I'm sure you get this five times a day, Kasuka-kun, but you are extremely talented! I can see how Shizu-chan is so proud of you."

To Shizuo's cautious relief, Kasuka actually smiled a little. "I believe the talented one is you, Izaya-san. My older brother is quite difficult to seduce."

"Phhhfffgh-" A half strangled sound escaped Shizuo as the blond blushed furiously. WHAT did Kasuka just say?

Izaya bit his lip hard to muffle his laughter. "...Ah-ahem, well, it wasn't an easy task, but how could I have been able to resist him?" He turned around to wink at his sputtering boyfriend.

"IZAYA-"

The informant hurriedly stepped to the left of Kasuka. "Here, Kasuka-kun. I better walk here in case a truck comes by and you get splashed."

"I-it's been raining?" Shizuo blurted out, temporarily forgetting his embarrassment. Unexpectedly, Izaya flushed slightly at this, turning head and murmuring something that sounded suspiciously like "we were sleeping around that time..." ...

While this was going on, Kasuka had shifted obediently to the right of Izaya. Then, _it_ happened.

_SPLASH!_

"K-Kasuka?"

"Uh..." The brown-haired man stood, his bangs dripping as the water slowly soaked into his short.

"Wh-what on earth-?" Shizuo gawked at the building beside them, his jaw dropping. "Did... did someone just pour a bucket of water from the window or what?" Izaya looked as confused as Shizuo. But the way Izaya had purposely moved Kasuka to the other side of the sidewalk and the perfect timing... it was as if Izaya was intending for the actor to get wet.

"..."

"...Kasuka-kun, would you like my jacket? You are getting quite wet there..."

Kasuka shook his head, a few drops of water flying here and there. "No, Izaya-san, it is fine."

"..."

"A... all right then..." Izaya trailed off awkwardly, rubbing his neck. "...let's... hurry home then..." He then turned to Shizuo and gave him a look that clearly said "I SWEAR THAT I DID NOT PLAN THAT". ...or maybe he just looked shocked?

With Izaya, one could never tell, however... It did seem just as if Izaya had planned for Kasuka to get wet... but at the same time...

...

It was an awkward and very silent walk back.

* * *

However, Izaya really did seem sorry, and hovered in the background guiltily as Shizuo handed Kasuka a new change of clothes.

"Thanks, Nii-san."

"U-um..." Shizuo scratched his head sheepishly. "Er... about that whole water thing... you know... Izaya didn't really plan it, right? I mean, the flea's a nuthead, you've... heard about him, he's-"

A hand touched Shizuo's shoulder. "Nii-san." Shizuo worked up the courage to look at Kasuka, only to see that his face was devoid of anger or annoyance. "It is fine." Kasuka gave him a small smile. "I do not suspect Izaya-san of anything."

"Really?" The older Heiwajima blinked several times. "B-but... I... I thought you didn't really like him..." Shizuo muttered, lowering his tone in embarrassment.

"Well, I suppose I was a little ticked off by him at first." Kasuka admitted. "But he does seem to treat you well, and you do seem very much in love. I would rather not be the person to crush your feelings. I suppose I can give Izaya-san a chance and try to get along with him."

Shizuo stared at his brother in shock. "...Kasuka..." Slowly, his mouth curved upward into a smile. "...Thanks." The blond muttered, placing his hand on top of Kasuka's head and ruffling it affectionately. What an idiot Shizuo was. He really shouldn't have been worrying his head off when he was surrounded by... well, by really nice people.

"Hah..." He moved his hand from Kasuka's head, letting out a weak but relieved laugh. "I guess I was stressing out for nothing then-"

"Wait a second!" In a flash, Kasuka had grabbed his older brother's hand and stared at it intently, a rare expression of surprise and alarm on his face.

"K-Kasuka?" Shizuo widened his eyes in surprise. He had never seen such an expression on his sibling's face, not even when faced with Shizuo's worst injuries. "What... what's wrong?"

Kasuka pointed to Izaya's ring on Shizuo's finger, his face having gone back to normal, but his grip still strong. "Nii-san... is _this_..."

"A-aaaah..." Shizuo blushed furiously. "Th-"

Unfortunately, Kasuka took Shizuo's reaction as confirmation to his question. "You didn't." He stated in a disbelieving tone.

"I... I didn't!" Shizuo answered hastily, realizing his brother's error. "Kasuka, that's-"

"You _did_?" Kasuka continued, his voice more incredulous.

Shizuo shook his head frantically, gritting his teeth in frustration. "A-ah! I-" Before he could say anything, Kasuka interrupted him again. "Nii-san... Nii-san is... is..."

"Th-that's not... I mean... I-"

Izaya suddenly walked in. "Erm, Shizu-chan, Kasuka-kun... I just wanted both of you to know that I am really sorry about what happened earlier-"

Kasuka, however, simply looked at Izaya, then at Shizuo, then at Izaya again. "...you... both... what?"

Taking one look at Shizuo's face, the first thing that popped to Izaya's mind was "He found out that Shizu-chan and I had sex and that Shizu-chan bottomed! I knew it!" And so, further misunderstanding the situation, Izaya stepped stubbornly to Shizuo's side, taking the blond's hand.

Kasuka's eyes narrowed. "You..."

"Now, now, Kasuka-kun, you shouldn't get so upset..." Izaya chided. "At least I didn't use handcuffs. I was gentle. Somewhat."

An angry aura started to rise from Kasuka's frame. Handcuffs? Being rough with his brother? What sort of proposal was that? "Nii-san..." He started quietly, glancing at Shizuo, who, meanwhile, was freaking out. "Are you really okay with this?"

"Um... er..." Shizuo was stuck. If he said yes, then Kasuka would be firmly convinced about his... misunderstanding, but if he said no, then Izaya would think... He took a deep breath. This was leaving him no choice... "I... yes!" He ended up shouting out, feeling his face heat up. "Really, Kasuka! I do..." Shizuo held his younger brother's gaze.

Somewhat satisfied, Kasuka turned to Izaya. "So, Izaya-san, would you be willing to spend the rest of your life with my brother?"

"..."

"..."

Izaya's eyebrows shot up. "Eh?"

Shizuo wanted the world to end. _WHY_ OF ALL THINGS... Of course Izaya would say no to something like that, it was way too soon, hadn't they just said "I love you" a few days ago, and then Kasuka would get all angry and then Shizuo would have to try and explain...

What an idiot Shizuo was! He really shouldn't have let his guard down and actually think everything was going to be okay! "H-hang on, Kasuka, you've-"

"YES!" Izaya practically screamed the word, tightening his hold of Shizuo's hand. "I... I think I would! Shizu-chan is the best thing that every happened to me and I don't ever want to let go of him!"

Shizuo felt his blush double tenfold. "Wh-wha-"

"WHOOOO!" To Shizuo's utter consternation, Shinra, Celty, Kadota, Erika, Togusa, and Walker were all suddenly in his house.

"Wonderful, Izaya-san, just wonderful!" Walker declared as he applauded earnestly.

"AAAH! IZAIZA, PLEASE DO THAT AGAIN~~!" Erika begged, holding a video camera that appeared out of nowhere. "I DIDN'T GET IT ON TAPE!"

"GAAAAAAAAH!" Shizuo was ready to grab something (preferably large) and hurl it out the window. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING HERE IN MY HOUSE?"

"NEVER, KARISAWA-SAN!" Izaya yelled to Erika, pushing himself protectively in front of Shizuo. "SHIZU-CHAN IS ONLY FOR MY EYES TO SEE!"

"_You_ be quiet! O-oi, I mean it, why are you guys here in my fucking house? GET OUT!"

"..."

"...it's all Karisawa's fault, Shizuo." Kadota murmured, pointing a finger at the fujoshi.

"EH?"

"..."

While all of this was going on, Kasuka, seemingly unaffected by the appearance of the unexpected visitors, simply crossed his arms. "...you _think_, Izaya-san?"

"..."

"..."

Without warning, Izaya whipped around, grabbed Shizuo's chin, and passionately kissed the blond on the lips.

"MMFF!" The blond's eyes bulged in shock.

_BANG! _Erika ended up dropping on the spot.

"...ah." Kadota and Togusa hurriedly turned around. Celty was already bolting to the next room. _I didn't see anything, I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING!_

Walker whistled and started clapping again, Shinra joining him. "Ah, if only Celty would be that open about our love..."

"..." Kasuka raised an eyebrow.

As he felt Izaya's tongue start to probe at his lips, the bodyguard had to strongly resist the urge to kiss his boyfriend back. "A-aah!" Trying not to pant, Shizuo quickly shoved Izaya off of him and turned away. "Cu-cut it out, flea! That's not-"

"I-I would!" Izaya declared to Kasuka, still not loosening his grip on Shizuo's hand. "I am in love with your older brother!"

"..."

"..."

"Ooh! I feel like we should start clapping again!" Walker whispered loudly to Shinra.

"..."

Shizuo glared at them. "Can't you guys just please... leave? NOW?"

"Ah, shhh, shhh! Come on, Kishitani-san! We must make ourselves invisible-"

"THAT'S _NOT_ WORKING-"

"In love with my older brother, huh?" Kasuka took a step forward dramatically. "In that case, Izaya-san. I propose a... challenge between the two of us."

Even though Kasuka's tone remained impassive, Shizuo promptly face-palmed. This was NOT looking good at all...

Izaya's determined expression swiftly twisted into a wicked smile. "Oh~? Sounds interesting to me. If I remember correctly, Kasuka-kun has a fondness for sports, no? Doesn't that include-"

Immediately, pictures of Izaya slashing Kasuka with a knife and Kasuka punching Izaya filled Shizuo's head. "N-NO, N-N-N-NO! C-come on, guys, let's not do anything too dangerous-"

Kasuka glanced at Shizuo before turning back to Izaya. "Yes, that is correct, but due to the situation here, I think the best competition right now is..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Wow, Hanejima-san really knows how to build a suspenseful atmosphere, doesn't he?"

Shizuo _really_ felt like killing someone.

* * *

_A few minutes later..._

"COOKING?" Shizuo repeated incredulously. "They're going to cook?" Celty's helmet nodded. _That should be all right, shouldn't it?_ She typed. _After all, the only way someone could get hurt in a kitchen is if they get fed horrible food, right?_

"...yeah." Kitchen knives, cleavers, forks, stoves... Images of both men using these weapons against each other flashed through Shizuo's mind. Was this how Kasuka felt every time he went out with Shizuo in public?

Kasuka tapped the side of the table he was leaning against, his eyes fixed on Izaya. "The rules are simple. We each make a pudding out of scratch, and whichever Nii-san thinks is the most tasty wins. Are you all right with that, Izaya-san?"

"No problems at all." Izaya replied smoothly. Shizuo coughed loudly in the background. "A-ahem! Kasuka, I have a question! What if both puddings are... er, equally tasty to me?"

"...then whoever made their pudding faster will when."

"EH?"

"YEAH, IZAIZA, FIGHT FOR YOUR TSUNDERE WIFE!" Erika cheered while Kadota winced, clapping his hands over his ears. "H-hey, lower the volume, will you? We're not at a baseball game here!"

Grinding his teeth, Shizuo raised his hand to get his brother's attention once more. "Kasuka? I have another question. May I also add to the rules that neither participant may _harm_ each other in _any_ sort of way, and that include unintentionally!"

"..."

"...fine." Izaya and Kasuka both muttered in unison. Shizuo was rather unsettled by the amount of disappointment in their tones.

"Oh, phew!" A very different voice sighed. "I wouldn't want another knife stuck in my body again, ahahaha!" All eyes (for those who had them) turned to Shinra, who was happily standing between Kasuka and Izaya, an apron thrown over his white lab coat.

"..."

"..."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"Oh, well, since Izaya was going to cook for you, Shizuo, I thought I'd return the favor and cook for Celty-"

_SHSHINRAAAAAAAAA!_

"WHAT THE HECK? THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!"

Before Kasuka or Izaya could kick the illegal doctor away, Celty was up and dragging Shinra by the collar, a dark aura literally radiating from her helmet. With a hastily bow of apology to Shizuo, she quickly exited the room.

"..."

"..."

Shizuo didn't even bother to hold back his groan. It was bad enough that Izaya and Kasuka were being so ridiculous, but these people seemed to make everything worst! ...well, he didn't really mind Celty or Kadota... but... the rest...

Meanwhile, Kasuka and Izaya had both started and were mixing ingredients at a fast pace. Wait, what were the ingredients for pudding anyway?

Sweat-dropping, Shizuo glanced at Izaya in what he thought was a discreet way. The blond had to hold back a snort as he caught sight of Izaya's face. His boyfriend looked like an idiot, sticking his tongue out in that childish way like that and everything... even though he did look a little cute- Shizuo's eyes widened. WHAT? NO! His face flushed.

If timing couldn't be worst, Izaya looked up from his stirring. He blinked in surprise. "Shiz-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Freaked out, Shizuo ended up punching Izaya and sending him flying out of the window. "I-I WASN'T STARING AT YOU! I WASN'T! I-I JUST HAPPENED TO GLANCE AT YOU AT THE SAME TIME YOU LOOKED UP! D-DON'T GET ANY IDEAS, NOW, FLEA! A-AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, M-MY BUTT IS STILL OFF LIMITS! OFF LIMITS, DO YOU HEAR M-"

* * *

_A few minutes of Shizuo ranting later..._

Rubbing his injured stomach, Shinra smiled and coughed lightly. "A-ahem, due to Izaya getting knocked out, he is... disqualified, which makes Hanejima- o-oh, ok-okay then, Kasuka-kun the winner!" He clapped his hands. "Hurray..."

Walker and Erika clapped happily. "Yay..."

"O-oi, why are you guys clapping?" Kadota demanded. "I thought you wanted Izaya to win... ah, speaking of Izaya, someone should go outside and get him, I think he's still out there..."

"Oh, we do want him to win, Dotachin! But a loss the first round should make Izayan more determined to win~!"

Shizuo almost choked on his pudding. "...first... round? A-ah, and I'm not pulling Izaya back in-"

Kasuka put a hand to his chin thoughtfully, coming up to Shizuo's side. "Hmmm... Nii-san, what would _you_ want in a husband?" He asked quietly.

Said big brother flinched violently. "WH-WHAT? A-ah... w-we-we-well.. K-Kasuka, there's something I need to actually tell you-"

"CLEANING!"

"HUH?" Several heads (and a helmet) swiveled violently to face Izaya, his arms crossed over his chest.

"FLEA?"

Izaya shrugged. "I think cleaning is important. I'd feel to guilty if it were Shizu-chan only doing the work, even though, as the wife, it would be his job."

"I-Izaya..." Shizuo blinked at his boyfriend, his cheeks reddening.

Then it clicked.

"Wait... ORIHARA FUCKING IZAYA, DID YOU JUST CALL ME YOUR WIFE?"

"...a-ah..." Realizing himself, Izaya sweat-dropped. "I...I just mean as Shizu-chan's-"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Ah, Shi-Shizu-chan, wait-"

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

* * *

_Several minutes later..._

"O-okay, due to... an unfortunate accident, Orihara Izaya is unable to participate and therefore is disqualified..." Shinra shivered. "Thank god Celty isn't as strong as that... o-oh, in any case, I'm assuming there will be another match?"

"Yes, there will be." Izaya answered, looking very disheveled and pissed, yet still alive.

"Al-all right... erm... how about..."

"Golf." Kasuka said suddenly, causing everyone to stare at him.

"...say... what?"

"Let us play golf." He turned to Izaya. "Would you object to that, Izaya-san?"

"..." Izaya raised an eyebrow. "I suppose it... is fine."

"All right then." Kasuka calmly took out a cell phone and began dialing.

"..." Shizuo stared at him. "You're not serious, Kasuka. I don't even think Ikebukuro even has a golf course-"

"My only sibling's life is at stake. Of course I'm serious." Out of nowhere, Kasuka whipped out a golf club. "Deadly serious, Nii-san."

"...all that acting... _has_ done things to you, hasn't it?"

Kasuka did not reply. Instead he spoke a few quick words into his phone, nodded, and then shut it gently. "All right, it is done-"

"OOOH!" Erika waved her hand. "Togusacchi can drive all of us there in his itasha, right?"

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL IT THAT!"

* * *

_A few more minutes later..._

Shizuo's eyes twitched. "This... is just..."

Kasuka cleared his throat quietly, now dressed in a polo shirt and golfer's jeans. "In this competition, whoever completes this course with the higher score will win. Are there any questions?"

"Um," Shizuo started loudly, "YES-"

"Other than Nii-san."

"WHAT?"

"..."

"No questions at all, Kasuka-kun." Izaya replied, smiling gaily as he chose his own golf club, also dressed in the same outfit as Kasuka. "Now, would you like to go first?"

The actor shook his head slightly, motioning in front of them. "By all means, Izaya-san, please."

"Well, if you insist." With that, the informant walked to where the tee was planted in the ground, placed a golf ball on it. Wielding the golf club with surprisingly expertise, Izaya did a few practice swings before finally lining up his club with the ball.

Behind him, Shizuo breathed a sigh of relief. He had been worrying that Izaya and Kasuka would have been hitting golf balls at each other, but maybe this would actually turned out to be a normal game.

_PWACK!_

"Oh, hey, that was a pretty nice shot-"

_SMACK!_

"AAAAAAAAAAH?"

"OH MY GOD!"

"...ow."

"..."

Shizuo's jaw dropped.

Yes, it would have been a very good shot. Unfortunately, midway in its path, the golf ball had somehow twisted its path and shot backwards, soon slamming to the head of none other than Kasuka.

"..."

"...h-how is that physically possible?" Kadota could be heard muttering in the background.

"..."

"Wow..."

Izaya stared for a few seconds, then shrugged. "Whoops."

_To be continued..._

* * *

**Ahahahahahahahahha... aaaaaaaah. sorry for the cliffhanger. ^^"" but I'll try my best to get the next chapter done soon, now that school is finally winding down. ^_^**


	23. Squid!

**A/N: ...Finally... I managed to update. XD haha, I'm sorry for the delay. I got hooked on this Korean drama a friend recommended to me. This chapter is quite the mess, so I apologize for that as well. ^^"**

* * *

"K-Kasuka! Ar… are you okay?" Shizuo started hesitantly, reaching out to his brother.

The actor slowly pressed his palm against the spot where Izaya's ball had struck him, then drew his hand back. "…I'm fine."

"…"

"Um-"

"Okay, he said he's fine!" Izaya interrupted loudly, swinging his club back around with a grin on his face. "Your turn, then, Kasuka-kun!"

Now stuttering in incredulity, Shizuo whipped his head from his boyfriend to his sibling. "b-b-b-but…"

Kadota sighed. "O-okay, now let's see how good Kasuka-kun play-"

_THWACK!_

"GACK!" Heads whipped around just in time to see a certain informant falling down on his butt, a golf ball rolling off of him.

"..."

Shizuo could only gawk before glancing at Kasuka, who shrugged innocently. "I thought I hit the golf ball in the opposite direction."

The former bartender nodded slowly. "...riiiight..."

"Ahahaha, that's an actor for you!" Walker laughed as Kadota groaned in frustration.

Wincing, Izaya dragged himself to his feet, clutching his head. His red eyes widening in a rather frighting way, he began whispering manically to himself. "...Haha. Ahahahahaa. Hahaha, so is that how it's going to be, huh... ah, and hey, Shizu-chan, why aren't I getting any special attention here?"

His eye twitching, Shizuo adjusted his sunglasses. "...because that's karma, flea. You hit Kasuka first."

"Whaaaaaaaaat?" Izaya stumbled behind the blond and managed to lean his head on Shizuo's shoulder. "But it was an _accident_ Shizu-chan..." He whined, a hand coming up to caress Shizuo's cheek. Blood rushed up to the blond's face.

"G-GAAAAAAAAAAAH!" In the next second, Izaya was flying across the course and colliding into a pine tree with a nasty crunching-like sound. "..."

"C-CUT IT OUT, FLEA!" Shizuo raged, somewhat oblivious to his boyfriend's injuries. "D-DO YOU WANT MY FAMILY'S APPROVAL OR DO YOU JUST WANT TO MOLEST ME AGAIN?"

Kasuka looked at his brother curiously. "He... molests you?"

"WAT? YOU JUST FOUND THAT OUT NOW?"

"..."

"A-ahem, of course I knew. So, Izaya-san, it is now your turn. ...or would you like to forfeit again because of injur-"

"NO!" Izaya jumped up like a zombie, blood pouring down his forehead as he grinned, waving around his golf club like a some sort of baton. "I WILL NOT LOSE HERE! SHIZU-CHAN IS MINE, AHAHAHAAHAHA!"

"..."

Kadota observed all of this with an increasingly dubious expression. "Is Izaya gonna survive this?"

_He better!_ Celty typed out, clenching her fist. _Or Shizuo would be sad! I wouldn't forgive Izaya for that!_

"YEAH, IZA-IZA!" Erika cheered, startling the dullahan beside her. "FIGHT FOR YOUR TSUNDERE WIFE!"

Kasuka raised an eyebrow at this. "...wife, huh..."

Shizuo immediately sweat-dropped. "A-ah, Kasuka, it's not what you think, that was just her being a fujoshi-" His younger brother turned to him, the handsome features grave.

"...Nii-san... Being the dominating one in the relationship, Izaya-san has stripped you of all your manliness? Unforgivable!" Flames burning in his eyes, Kasuka slowly and menacingly pulled on his gloves, then picked his golf club, brandishing it. "I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS TO GO UNPUNISHED!"

"Oi, what are you talking about?" Izaya demanded indignantly. "My Shizu-chan isn't a girl! He is my sexy uke! I didn't strip him of anything!" The black-haired man suddenly paused. "...oh, wait, I kind of did, literally and figuratively, if one does think about it-"

Shizuo trudged over to Celty, a depressed aura floating over him. _ShShizuo?_

"...Celty..." The bodyguard slumped and sat down at her feet. "...do me a favor by conjuring your scythe thingy and then killling me right now... PLEASE..."

Celty promptly typed a frantic message and showed it to the blond._ Don't worry, Shizuo, Shinra acts worst than Izaya all the time._

"Y-yeah, calm down..." Togusa added, leaning against his van. "Things like this happen all the time with family and boyfriends and what not-"

"You did _what_ to Niisan?" Kasuka interrupted, his eyes flashing dangerously at Izaya, who threw his hands up in the air, his golf club swinging dangerously. "Oh come now! It's not like I didn't have his consent, I would never do anything to harm my Shizu-chan-"

"No, he is not _yours_, Niisan is his own person! Don't you take away his freedom-"

"I did not take away his freedom! All I took away was his virginity! AND I WILL _PROVE_ MY DEVOTION TO SHIZU-CHAN BY WINNIG THIS!" Izaya declared, stalking over to where his ball was.

"...!" Shizuo hastily got up and grabbed his younger brother by the collar. "Kasuka, get behind me so you won't get hit, I'm not letting this continue and turn into a war..."

Izaya pouted. "Hey, why didn't you try to do that when Kasuka-kun had his turn?"

"...Because you're supposed to 'protect' me, right, flea?" Shizuo shrugged as he shielded Kasuka. "Anyway, hurry up and go."

Adjusting his golfer cap, Izaya positioned his golf club by the ball, swung back, and-

_THWACK!_

Kasuka winced, a golf ball rolling off his head. "Ugh-"

"EHHHHHHH!" Walker and Erika grabbed each other in excitement.

"Ooooooh..." Both Kadota and Celty winced.

"WAT?" Shizuo demanded haphazardly, glaring at Izaya, who put his hands up innocently. "Shizu-chan, it wasn't me, I swear. I didn't even hit the golf ball yet-"

"Oh, sorry!" A loud voice called from behind. Much to everyone's displeasure, Shinra soon came into view, holding a golf club in one hand and a golfer cap in another. "...Oh, oops, my bad, Kasuka-kun! Didn't mean to hit you there..."

"WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP BUTTING IN?" Shizuo, Izaya, Kadota, and Togusa all demanded in unison.

"E-eh?" The underground doctor blinked perplexedly, his glasses winking in the sunlight. "Well, this is a competition about love, so I thought it would be nice for me to compete for Celty- ...Celty?"

Shaking with fury, Celty shook her PDA at the doctor. _That does it, Shinra! I'm not cosplaying for you ever again!_

"WHAT-" Before Shinra could protest, a certain white object smashed into his head. "OWWWWWWW-"

Kasuka walked out from behind Shizuo and tilted his cap at Izaya. "I have to say, that was an excellent shot, Izaya-san."

The informant shrugged modestly. "Nah, I missed. I was aiming lower than that... perhaps you can do it, Kasuka-kun?" He inquired, gesturing to the staggering figure of Shinra.

"Sure thing." The actor swung his golf club expertly. "Everyone, stand back."

"E-eh?" Shinra sweat-dropped, flinching. "U-u-u-um... y-you're not actually going t-"

_WACK!_

"OWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Izaya whistled. "Didn't know you were this skilled, Kasuka-kun!"

"No, I'm far from skilled. Since it appears that our balls are now difficult to retrieve, would you like to start over with new ones?"

"Sounds good to me!"

"O-o-o-o-o-oi you guys hang on- AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH THIS IS ALMOST AS BAD AS CELTY'S-"

As this... golf game continued, Shizuo and the rest watched with wide eyes.

Walker clapped his hands excitedly. "Oooh! It's the wonderful scene where two rivals unite against a common enemy! Shizuo-san, your problems are solved now!"

"..." Shizuo turned to Celty. "...Uh, sorry about this..."

_No, it's fine. He deserves it._

* * *

In the end, by some puzzling miracle, Izaya's ball managed to land itself in the hole before Kasuka's. Perhaps the fact that Shinra tried retreating to the green had something to do with it. Both scores were well over thirty, however.

* * *

_A few hours later..._

"Shizu-chan!"

"..." Shizuo gritted his teeth.

"Shizz-chan!"

"..." _Twitch._

"SHIZZ-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

Losing it, Shizuo swiveled his head around, glaring daggers at Izaya. "THE HELL D'YA WANT?"

"..." Izaya smiled stupidly. "I want to tell you that I love you SO much~! ...oh, and I also want your butt, too, even though I can't right now..." With that, he lifted his cup and downed the liquid inside.

The blond groaned and smacked his head against his palm. Unfortunately, once Shinra had been beaten, Kasuka and Izaya had gone right back to being rivals, and then Erika had suggested a drinking contest... which is why they were now sitting in a deserted bar (not the one Shizuo used to work in, thank goodness) while Kasuka and Izaya were slowly but surely get themselves drunk.

Kasuka simply stared at Izaya as he wordlessly sipped his own glass. However, Shizuo knew his brother's drinking tolerance was worst than his own, and was expecting Kasuka to keel over any minute.

"...my pudding." The actor murmured quietly.

"Huh?" Izaya jerked his head toward Kasuka. "What ya' say?"

"It's... my pudding!" The brown-haired man mumbled, glaring at Izaya. "I will eat it!"

"..."

"...good thing this will be kept TOP SECRET, or else Kasuka would have it from the media. Right, guys?"

"...GUYS?"

"O-o-oh, yeah, Shizuo." Kadota replied hurriedly, snatching Erika's video camera and smashing it against the wall.

This... was definitely one of the top ten worst days of Shizuo's life. Meanwhile, Izaya was now directing his attention to Kasuka. "Haah? What's that? Shizz-chaan's a pudding now? Well, too bad! I'm not gonna give this pudding up!"

"...my pudding."

"Oh no you won't!" Izaya's eyes, dull from the alcohol, still sparkled. "I won't let you touch my pudding! It be mine pudding, and I will enjoy eating every little bit of him up! Shizu-chan~!"

In a drunken gesture, he managed to grab Shizuo's arm and pull the blond on his lap. "G-GACK!"

With the exception of Erika and Walker, everyone else immediately coughed awkwardly and shielded their eyes. "...um..."

"Tch..." Despite his intoxication, Izaya's grip was still strong. Unable to do anything, Shizuo tried to relax as much as he could before huffing irritably. "G-great, now I'm going to be eaten no- HEEEEEK! THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, FLEA?"

Izaya licked the base of Shizuo's neck, chuckling evilly as he felt the throbbing pulse underneath his mouth. "Eating my pudding! Eheheheeh ahahahahah AHAHAHA!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOOOOOOO! STOP THAT!" Shizuo turned his head around wildly. "KYOHEI! CELTY! STOP IZAYA! PUNCH HIM! SLICE HIM IN HALF! JUST HELP M-" His jaw dropped as he saw Celty, Shinra, and Kadota running with Kadota bringing up the rear, carrying Erika and Walker like sacks of potatoes. "WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING?"

"W-we're leaving! We're leaving! So it's okay, Shizuo, you don't have to pretend you don't want it anymore, we're giving you privacy now!"

"Wha- pr-privacy-" The blond stuttered desperately, his stomach flipping as Izaya bit his ear. "N-no! NO! NO! OI! I REALLY DON'T WANT THIS! NOT HERE, AT LEAST! GUYS! GUYS! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE- O-ooh... N-no-" Shizuo tried to restrain Izaya's hands, but the informant only took it as an opportunity to intwine their fingers. "Shizzz-chan..."

"Gah, Izaya, really, stop it!" Shizuo looked at his younger brother worriedly. "i-if Kasuka sees us like this-"

Kasuka had finally passed out and was sitting with his head face down on the table.

"..." Of all times, Kasuka-

"No problem, now Shizz-chan!" Izaya said cheerfully, returning to Shizuo's neck. "It's all okay-" Shizuo managed to free one of his hands and smashed it against Izaya's face. "Ooof!"

"Sh-shut up, flea, this is not okay! It's NOT! I don't give my permission! If you continue, th-this is sexual harassment and rape, you hear me? IZAYA? YOU'LL BE KNOWN AS A RAPIST FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! RAPIST! IZAYA!"

"Mmmmmm... my Shizz-chan, but I won!" Izaya giggled drunkenly. "Now come on, let's sleep together, sleep-"

"ARGGGGH! THAT'S IT!"

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

* * *

_Another few hours later..._

"...tell me again why you two are fishing?" Shizuo muttered, hunching down on a bench. "This is too fucking ridiculous already! Can't you guys just stop-"

"Of course we can't stop!" Izaya yelled. "My Shizu-chan groping time is on the line here!"

"THE HELL... WHAT DOES THAT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH GOING TO THE FREAKIN' OCEAN, ORIHARA IZAYA!" A wave soon came up, crashing against the rocks and spraying them all with the salty water.

"EEKS!"

"Gah, my spectacles..." Shinra took off his glasses and started wiping them.

Izaya picked up a worm, studying it intently. "To answer Shizu-chan's question, Kasuka-kun and I politely agreed that the next contest would be fishing, and that our best destination for that is the beach, right, Kasuka-kun?"

"...my pudding."

"THAT'S BULLSHIT!" Shizuo raged, angry marks appearing on his forehead. "KASUKA'S STILL DRUNK AS FUCK! IZAYA! YOU BETTER BE PAYING FOR ALL OF THIS, DO YOU HEAR ME? I'M NOT LETTING YOU BANKRUPT KASUKA!"

The informant shook his head sloppily. "Oh... don't worry, Shizu-chan... Hanejima... Yuhei... has a lot of... money..." He turned his head to the worm. "...Shizu-chan, who is this again?"

Shizuo gritted his teeth. "You're still drunk too, aren't you? And... SIMON, THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

The tall tout clapped his hands. "Ah, Izaya and Kasuka are fishing? That's good! Fish can be put on sushi! Sushi is always good!"

"..."

Shinra held up a hesitant hand. "...uh, Simon, I don't think it works that way-"

"THAT'S IT!" Snapping, Shizuo stomped over, grabbed both Izaya and Kasuka by their collars, and started dragging them away.

"Eh? Shizu-chan, what're you doing-"

"I'm intervening and putting an end to this!" The blond declared. "This whole thing has been stupid from the start-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Izaya practically screamed, shoving his boyfriend back. "You can't, Shizu-chan! What if an giant squid comes out of nowhere and tries to take you away?"

Shizuo rolled his eyes, reaching for Izaya's jacket. "Oh come on, flea, that probably WON'T happen-"

_CRAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!_

Suddenly, the water churned and became darker in color.

"...wha..."

"That's never a good sign, is it?" Walker observed.

**BOOOOOOOOOOM!**

No sooner had Walker spoken did a large tentacle rise out of the water, splashing into the rocks.

"WHAT THE-" Kadota and Togusa's jaws dropped open.

"IT'S THE KRAKEN!" The otaku duo yelled dramatically, putting their arms up.

Shinra scoffed in disdain. "Haah, that giant sea creature is no match for my wonderful Celty! Celty is far more graceful and cooler! Isn't that, right, Celty-" His face got smashed to the side as Celty frantically waved her PDA. _SHIZUO! LOOK OUT!_

"Eh?" As the giant squid (yes, everyone was sure it was _squid_, not an octopus) finally rose out of the water, the first thing it did was shoot up and aim straight for the blond bartender.

Shizuo narrowed his eyes, taking off his sunglasses and stashing them into his pocket. "Tch, if you want to fight, fine by me. I'm in a shitty mood anyway." With that, he ripped a warning sign from the ground and flipped it so the stake was pointing right at the oncoming squid.

"HE'S GOING TO TAKE ON THE SQUID NOW?" Kadota demanded, sweat-dropping. "What the hell is this coming to?"

Meanwhile, the squid was almost upon Shizuo. Looking very pissed, the blond simply started to swing his sign, when-

_SLASH!_

**SPLAT!**

In a blink of an eye, the squid split in half, raining sticky black onto everyone.

"A-AGH!"

"...Dang, didn't meant to split the ink sack there..." A glance upward revealed Izaya, casually flicking his knife back into his pocket as ink dripped down from his already black hair.

Blinking, Shizuo slowly set his sign down on the ground, brushing his ink-splattered bangs out of his eyes. "...flea?" He sputtered disbelievingly, catching Izaya's attention. "Ah, Shizu-chan!" The informant hurried to him, cupping his face as he examined him with worried eyes. "Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere?"

"...I'm... I'm fine..." Shizuo mumbled, averting his eyes from Izaya's red ones.

"You don't sound fine." Izaya persisted, pressing his forehead to Shizuo's. "What's wrong?"

Before Shizuo could open his mouth, a quiet voice cut in. "I think what Nii-san means is that he was perfectly capable of killing that... er... squid, yet you still interfered as if he was helpless." Kasuka remarked, seeming to have recovered from the alcohol, whether it was from the water or the ink.

Izaya frowned, swiveling his head to look at Kasuka even though he kept his hands on Shizuo's cheeks. "...Shizu-chan would probably destroy that squid with no problem. I know that already from my attempts to court him. But..." He shrugged. "Even though I know he can do it... I just can't sit back when something attacks him."

Shizuo's eyes widened in surprise. "It is quite foolish of me, I admit." The informant added, his cheeks turning a little pink. "I'm sorry if that bothers Shizu-chan and you." His hands started to slip off Shizuo's face.

Izaya blinked when Shizuo's hands grabbed his own. "...I..." Blushing, Shizuo pressed the cool hands to his cheeks. "It doesn't bother me... Izaya..."

Kasuka gave a discreet smile. "It doesn't bother me either. On the other hand, I'm quite relieved." He caught Shizuo's eye. "...I'm glad you found someone that'll take care of you well, Nii-san. Congratulations."

"Ah..." Shizuo smiled back at his brother. "Kasuka, thanks."

"Yay!" Erika and Walker clapped. "Happy ending!"

"Izaya-san now has Yuhei's approval!"

"That is great and all, but...hey... what are we going to do with this thing?" Kadota murmured, kicking cautiously at the giant squid carcass.

A shadow flew from Celty's hand. _I can probably lift this and return it to the ocean-_

"Nah, maybe we can just all try to carry it-"

Simon interrupted them. "No, no, it bad to waste this! We can use it for sushi! Come! I carry it back!"

"OH HELL NO! I AM NOT EATING ANY PART OF THIS THING-"

"...that seems a little unreasonable-"

Shizuo watched the others struggle over the squid carcass. "...Hmmm... maybe I should go help them-" Lanky arms immediately wrapped around his waist. "Nope~!" Izaya nuzzled into Shizuo's hair. "You're not going anywhere!"

"A-ah..." Blushing, the blond stopped and allowed Izaya to kiss his cheek. "...oh, and flea, I'm sorry... for all this... and my little brother misunderstanding..."

"Hm?" Izaya smiled at Shizuo. "If it's for Shizu-chan's sake, then I won't mind. Besides, I wanted your brother to know that I really do care for you. But... I do apologize for giving you a headache... a-and almost raping you before."

"..."

After a long pause, Shizuo sighed. "Well, I guess I could forgive you for just this one time-" His eyes snapped open. "...Oi."

"Shizu-chan?"

"...tell me you don't have your hand on my butt right now."

"...oh... OH... th-that..."

"IIIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAA -KUUUUUUUUUUN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Izaya sweat-dropped. "...oh shit."

* * *

And so, that was how Izaya managed to gain Kasuka's approval, and then lost it in the next minute when it was revealed just how perverted the informant was.

It also did not help that Shizuo forgot to clear up the misunderstanding Kasuka had... ah, well.

* * *

**wow... did I just write that? 0 . 0" well, to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter, I just wanted to say thank you. ^^ **


	24. Thin Walls

**A/N: Ooooooh man. I am so sorry for the long hiatus, and the fact that the last two chapters were utter crap. T T"" I hope everyone's enjoying their summer. ^^ Also, I'll be having Mairu and Kururi in this chapter, and they're probably not as IC as I want them to be, so, sorry about that. ^^"**

**Warnings: ...some... mature situations...**

* * *

Izaya leaned his head on his hand, an interest look in his eyes. "Is that so? I've heard he's directed several movies prior to this upcoming one. Was he a difficult man to work with?"

Kasuka shook his head lightly. "No. He's a very energetic man, but he always does his best to be polite. He's already thinking of a sequel to this movie, though…"

Shizuo chuckled as he finished washing the last of the dishes. "Looks like you'll busy again then." The blond walked over to the other two men at the table and sat down next to them. Despite Izaya's groping after the whole "competition", Izaya and Kasuka were now actually on good terms. Kasuka was even smiling the small smile he usually only did around his brother.

Shizuo had no idea how things were able to have calmed down so quickly, but he wasn't complaining at all, especially when it killed his migraine.

"Ah," Izaya blinked, glancing carelessly at his phone, "it's already this late…" With a regretful smile, the informant began to stand up. "I better get going. I don't want to intrude on your family time-"

Before he knew what he was doing, Shizuo instinctively grasped Izaya's hand. "Ah, wait, you aren't intruding-"

"You aren't living together?"

"Eh?" Both men turned to see Kasuka, raising an eyebrow slightly. "You two… aren't living together yet?" The brunette repeated slowly.

"…"

"…uh." Shizuo said awkwardly, the atmosphere suddenly uncomfortable.

"Well…" A tentative voice broke the silence. "If you two really don't mind…" Izaya scratched his head. "I can just sleep on the couch-"

Kasuka waved his hand lazily, turning his head. "You two can sleep in the same room as long as you don't make any noise."

"..."

"…eh?"

Izaya glanced at Shizuo, his red eyes clearly confused.

Knowing what this was all about, Shizuo sweat-dropped, trying his best not to ignore Izaya's gaze. He coughed loudly. "O… o-okay, Kasuka. Thanks… Oh wait, you're going to staying in the spare room, let me clean that up-"

* * *

_Half an hour later…_

"I'm really glad that Shizu-chan's brother approved of us…" Izaya began as he pulled on a large gray T-shirt, "but Shizu-chan…"

"Hm? What?" Shizuo asked distractedly from the other end of the room, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He was not looking forward to having to explain Kasuka's misunderstanding to Izaya one bit.

How could Shizuo say it without making his boyfriend feel awkward or uncomfortable? What if Izaya got the wrong message, thinking that Shizuo wanted to… to… to do _that_ thing when he really didn't want to- … well …didn't want to right now was a better wording… But… it was still too early! Izaya probably felt the same way, and Shizuo bringing that up might even turn him off…

But on the other hand, hadn't Izaya said that today… Shizuo felt himself blush, then pale in horror. What if Izaya took it the wrong way, but was completely okay with it being this early? He… he wouldn't actually _propose_ to Shizuo, would he? The blond shook his head in disbelief. No, not even the flea would be that ridiculous… right?

"-listening to me? Oi? Shizu-chan?"

"Huh?" Shizuo looked up, realizing he had been staring at the floor.

Izaya stared at him. "…are you okay? You're acting so strange…" The red eyes suddenly lit up in eagerness as Izaya got up and started to walk toward Shizuo.

"I-I am?" The blond sputtered, too nervous to notice his boyfriend's approach. "O-oh… sorry-" Izaya's hands fell on Shizuo's shoulders. "I-Izaya?"

"You're blushing, fidgeting, stuttering, and still haven't changed in your pajamas…" the informant said slowly, looking mischievously into Shizuo's eyes. "Don't tell me… you want-" His hands began to drift towards the collar of the blond's shirt, starting to unbutton it.

"Ah-" Feeling the stirrings of excitement in his chest, the blond hastily pushed Izaya away, scoffing. "I-in your dreams, flea."

"Oh come on…" Izaya's arms wrapped themselves around Shizuo's waist. "At least tell me what was bothering you, then?" The black-haired man nuzzled the blond's neck lightly.

"…"

"…it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that Kasuka-kun is letting me sleep over in the same room as you, does it?"

"…"

Izaya poked his side gently. "Hey… what is he-"

"H-he…" Red-faced, Shizuo swallowed, trying to make his tone neutral and failing, "…um… well… he just saw… that ring… you gave me… and then… …he kinda thought…" Unable to continue, Shizuo clenched his teeth and prayed Izaya would be able to understand what he was talking about.

Izaya blinked, his face quizzical. "He thought…" His eyes went from Shizuo's hand to his own. "…Oh."

"Y-yeah."

"Um… so that was what all that marriage stuff was about…" Izaya murmured awkwardly, resting his chin on Shizuo's shoulder. "I see. Sorry for causing that misunderstanding."

"No… it's not your fault…"

"…"

"But come to think of it, I actually _did_ propose marriage to you that one time-"

* * *

_"...SHIZU-CHAN! FORGIVE ME! I CANNOT WAIT ANY LONGER!" Izaya suddenly exclaimed passionately, taking Shizuo's hand once more and dropping down on one knee. "MARRY ME SO I CAN MAKE LOVE TO YOU AND FEED YOU MILK AND OOTORO CAKE AT OUR WEDDING!"_

* * *

"A-ARRRRGGGGHHH!" Shizuo squawked in indignation, his face turning bright red. "Y-you don't have to bring that up again-"

"Haha, fine, fine, whatever you say, sweetheart." Izaya chuckled, kissing Shizuo's cheek. "Though, you never did really answer that-"

"Izaya!"

"I'm joking, I'm just joking, calm down. But… you know..." The informant's hands drifted to Shizuo's chest once more. "You still need to change… and I'm _more_ than willing to help-ARGH?"

With one push from Shizuo, Izaya landed awkwardly on the bed, the blond sprawled messily on him.

"Heh, I don't know about that, flea…" Shizuo whispered, smirking despite his blush, "For someone who kept getting owned by his 'tsundere wife', you sure seem confident you'll always be the one in charge."

Izaya laughed quietly, placing a hand on the back of Shizuo's head and kissing his boyfriend. "How do you know that I don't purposely _let_ my tsundere wife hit me?" In one swift motion, Izaya quickly flipped them over, now on top of Shizuo.

Underneath the informant, the blond slowly opened his shirt, shrugging his arms out of the sleeves. "Hey, Izaya, how quiet can you really be during sex?"

An amused smile curled up Izaya's lips as he cupped Shizuo's face. "Oh my, my, is my innocent Shizu-chan suggesting what I _think_ he is suggesting? With his little brother in the _same_ house? Besides, I thought I wasn't allowed anywhere near your butt."

"Oh my, is my perverted boyfriend suggesting what I _think_ he's suggesting?" Shizuo mocked sarcastically, leaning his forehead against Izaya's. "Actually being proper and _considerate_ instead of ravishing my body for once? I've had a change of heart after seeing you so eagerly 'fight for me'. Do you not want to?"

Izaya leaned over, kissing his neck. "Of course I do. I just want to make sure you're equally willing, darling. But the question, Shizu-chan, is whether you can keep quiet or not…"

Shizuo rolled his eyes, feeling his cheeks begin to flush again as he placed his hand on Izaya's. "Of course I can, flea, so-" The brown eyes suddenly widened. "A-MMGH-"

Izaya did his best to hold his silent laughter.

"…"

"…shut up, flea. Do you want to kiss me or not?"

* * *

_Next morning…_

"Haaaah..." Izaya yawned wildly, lifting a ringed hand over his mouth as the other rubbed his rather messy hair. "O-oh... Kasuka-kun, good morning."

Kasuka sat at the table, his hair much neater than Izaya's. "Good morning, Izaya-san. ...Is..." The brunette paused, as if reluctant to ask the question. "...Is Nii-san up yet?"

In the middle of trying to sort out his bedraggled hair, Izaya froze. "Shi... Shizu-chan? oh- ah- um- th- well-"

"..."

"..."

"He's... he's in the bathroom." The informant muttered hastily.

"The bathroom?"

"H-he was saying he had to go."

"Oh. I see."

No sooner had the words been spoken did Shizuo suddenly appear, looking half-asleep and on the verge of collapsing.

"Haaaah…" The blond yawned, wiping at his eyes with one hand. "Oh... hi, Izaya, Kasuka. So… wh-what do you guys want for- aaaaaah-" He yawned again. "B-breakfast?"

"I'll just have some coffee." Kasuka murmured, his face down.

"Okay then..." Bleary-eyed, Shizuo slowly trudged through the kitchen. "I'll go and make it..."

After a few seconds of hearing Shizuo's shuffling, Izaya finally got up and walked towards him. "Hey." The red-eyed man touched his shoulder gently. "I'll help you."

His boyfriend blinked and turned to Izaya, smiling weakly. "Thanks, fl-" His eyes took in the sight of Izaya's hair. "WH-"

"Ssssh..." Izaya murmured gently, grabbing the coffee pot. Shizuo glared at him. "What the heck happened to your hair?" The blond hissed in an undertone.

Rolling his eyes, Izaya ruffled his hair gingerly. "Says the person who did it."

"I-" Shizuo stifled a choke. "I was not pulling _that_ hard!" He retorted quietly, yanking the coffeepot away from Izaya and busying himself with the task at hand. "A-and besides, my hair's not that bad!"

Sighing, Izaya buried half his face in the blond hair, kissing it before speaking again. "You... really didn't look in the mirror this morning, did you?"

"..."

"Coffee's done!" Shizuo announced loudly, reaching into the cupboard for a mug. Behind him, Izaya grinned and started to massage Shizuo's shoulder. "Mind pouring me a cup too, Shizu-chan? I need something to energize me before I go to work."

The blond shot him a scowl before his face softened. "Without breakfast?"

"Coffee is enough breakfast." The informant answered, still leaning against Shizuo. "Besides, I should give you and your brother some space." He added, lowering his voice. "It'll probably be hard for you to explain with me around."

"Ah... y-you don't need to leave just because of that." The blond muttered, walking back to Kasuka and handing him his coffee. "Here, Kasuka."

"Thanks." The actor replied soullessly, accepting the cup. "Oh, and Nii-san, Izaya-san..."

"Yeah?"

"Hm?"

"Sorry for misunderstanding."

Both Shizuo and Izaya blinked, the latter in the middle of drinking his coffee. "Eh?"

Kasuka seemed very focused on his cup of coffee. "...about... that ring... and that you're not engaged... yet..."

"BLLLLLLLLLRRRGGGHHHH!" Izaya ended up spraying coffee everywhere, his eyes wide in horror.

Not understanding his boyfriend's reaction, Shizuo smiled sheepishly. "O-oh... I-I'm glad, then, ahaha... ...um, so you figured it out, Kasuka?"

"...no."

"What?"

"...I..." Kasuka leaned his head further over his coffee, his bangs shielding his eyes. "...heard it... last... night..."

Shizuo blinked. "You heard it last night?"

"Yes."

"Oh, ok- WAIT A MINUTE!" The blond jerked up, his face red, suddenly realizing Izaya's panic. "J-JUST HOW MUCH DID YOU HEAR, KASUKA?"

"...I wish I could say nothing." With that, the younger sibling flipped his head over and stared at Izaya.

"..."

"..."

"..."

Shizuo could practically feel the invisible flames of anger in the room. Apparently, so could Izaya, who quickly downed what was left of his coffee and yanked on his coat.

"U-um, thanks for the coffee, Shizu-chan!" Before Shizuo could say anything, Izaya grabbed him in a quick, one-armed hug and then a long kiss on the lips. "Mmmm-"

In a flash, Izaya was bolting out of the door. "I'll call you later, Shizu-chan! Bye~~~!"

* * *

"K-Kasuka, I'm so sorry, I had no idea..." Shizuo gulped, his face pale with horror. "Th-that... that the wall were so thin..."

"...Nii-san..."

"Y-yeah?"

"...did he gag you?"

"Haah?" Shizuo's jaw dropped. "WHAT- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! He-"

"As long as he's not... being... 'kinky'..."

"..."

_Vrrrrb. _

Shizuo blinked. "Was that just now my phone or yours?"

Kasuka shook his head lightly. "Yours." The elder brother walked over to the counter and picked up his phone, flipping it open to view his text.

_Sorry about my brief exit, Shizu-chan. Ne, I was thinking, after Kasuka-kun goes back, you should come over to my home! ^.^_

"..." Scowling, Shizuo started to text. _Why? To celebrate?_

Kasuka leaned over Shizuo's shoulder curiously. "Who is that?"

"Ah, um, just-"

_Vrrrrb. _

"..."

"..."

"...Nii-san-"

"I've been meaning to change it! Since the second I saw it in there!"

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

Despite having narrowly escaped the dark aura of Kasuka, Izaya was as cheerful as could be while tapping away at his computer.

Namie did not seem happy with him back, but Izaya honestly did not give a crap of about Namie, because, once more, his world was all rainbows and happiness-

...Until he got that call at the end of the day.

_Vrrrrb._

_Vrrrrb._

Too obsessed in his happy world, Izaya picked up his phone without looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"IZA-NIIIIII!"

"Nii. (Iza-nii, good morning)"

"...hah?" Izaya almost dropped his phone in dread. "...what? What do you two want?"

"Iza-nii! Aren't you happy to hear your _favorite_ siblings' voices after such a looooooong time?"

"Mad? (Are we bothering you?)"

Sighing, Izaya spun around in his chair. "You two are my _only_ siblings. It doesn't make you my favorite."

"You're so mean, Iza-nii! And to think, we were going to bless you with our sacred presence!"

"Cruel... (you are a cruel, insulting brother, and it is painful to know we share the same blood)"

Izaya rose an eyebrow at the first sentence. "You two were going to what? Why?"

"We were _going_ visit you, since we need to spend more quality family time together! But _you _obviously don't think s-"

"Visit, boyfriend. (we were going to visit to meet your boyfriend)"

"Funny how you two should find that out from some other source rather than me telling you."

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I can't believe you have a boyfriend, Iza-nii! I mean, we've always known you swing that way, but I always thought you would only have one night stands and sex buddies! Who is he? Is he meaner than you? Does he top? And if it's no to both questions, then he clearly deserves better than you!"

"Must... save. (We cannot allow you to ruin an innocent person's life in such a way)"

The informant blinked. Neither of the twins had mentioned a word of Hanejima Yuhei. So they didn't know... An idea popped into Izaya's mind. "Oh, trust me, I'm sure you both wouldn't want to do that~!" The informant almost sang, smirking. "And don't worry, I'm nice to him."

"Lie. (That can't be true)"

"Wait, wait, wait, Iza-nii! Who does top? Or do you take turns?"

Ignoring Mairu's quesiton, Izaya continued. "When are you two coming? I guess there's no choice but to let you stay at my apartment..."

"...Hmph! Since you didn't sound very happy to see us, we might as well not come! Right, Kuru-nee?"

"Tomorrow. Early."

"KURU-NEE! Why did you tell him?"

Wincing at the noise, Izaya held the phone at arm's length. "Good. To be honest, I'm not very eager to see you, but he wants to meet my family."

"Eh?"

"My boyfriend wants to meet you two. Understood?"

"You told him about us? And you never said who tops!"

Izaya rolled his eyes. "I top. All the time. Happy?"

There was another loud gasp on the other end. "You liar, Iza-nii! He's lying, isn't he?"

"..." There was a thoughtful pause. "...before... happy... (When Iza-nii answered the phone, he sounded a bit too happy...)"

"What? Kuru-nee, You don't think-"

"You'll meet him tomorrow, then." Their brother interrupted. "How does that sound?"

"...important."

"Important?" Izaya repeated, confused. "How, Kururi? Kindly clarify that for your big brother."

"Boyfriend... important... (Iza-nii's boyfriend is important to him)"

"I'm sure he'll be important to you too. Now, be _nice_ to him. And don't even think of trying anything with him, because it won't work. He's mine."

"Iza-nii is sounding so possessive! What'll we do, Kuru-nee? I think he really does top!"

"Yes, Mairu. You're finally starting to understand. Heiwajima Shizuo is. My. Pudding."

"Pudding?"

"And yes, Heiwajima Kasuka, a.k.a. Hanejima Yuhei, is his younger brother, so don't even think of trying to end it between us."

_Beep. _Not wanting to hear his sisters' reaction, Izaya hung up, quickly dialing another number.

* * *

"Hello?" Shizuo said hurriedly, just having gotten home.

"Yo, Shizu-chan."

"Izaya..." The blond couldn't help but chuckle quietly. "What's up?"

"I have bad new and good news and worst news. Which do you want to hear first?"

"What's the worst news?" Shizuo asked skeptically, trying to hide the concern in his voice.

"I'm not going to be able to come over tonight."

"Hm? How come?"

"...my sisters are coming tomorrow, hence the bad news."

"Ahaha, tomorrow?" Shizuo smiled. "I'm glad that you'll be able to spend time together."

"...Well, I'm not. Now, I have to spend tonight locking up all things of value in my apartment. And they invited themselves over, for heavens sake! Come over tomorrow as early as you can so I don't have to put up with them alone! And bring Kasuka-kun too, if he doesn't mind."

Shizuo glanced over to Kasuka. "Okay then. Tell me where your apartment is then, flea."

As the blond scribbled it down on a piece of paper, he heard Izaya sigh on the other end. "All right then... you better come tomorrow..."

"I will. Have a good night, Izaya, I love you." Shizuo said absentmindedly, hanging up. "..." Wait... He whirled around. "I-I didn't do that-"

Kasuka just sighed. "What was that about?"

"O-oh..." Blushing, Shizuo shuffled his feet. "Izaya's twin sisters invited themselves to his house, so he wants both of us to meet them tomorrow."

"Sisters? How old are they?"

"Um, fourteen or fifteen I think. Will that... be okay with you?"

Kasuka nodded silently.

"...Thanks... I-I bet they'll be thrilled to meet Hanejima Yuhei. Hahaha..."

A few seconds later, his phone vibrated again. _Shizu-chan, if you can, come a little earlier? and I love you too. A LOT~~~! _

"..."

Kasuka peered over his shoulder again. "Of course you can. And Nii-san, you're quite red."

"I-I know that!"

* * *

_The next day..._

Shizuo blinked. "This is Izaya's apartment, huh..." Slowly, the bodyguard walked in, his hand hesitating before the door. "..." Had he come too early? ...Maybe he should call Izaya first-

The door suddenly burst open. "IT'S HIM~~~~~~~!" Before Shizuo could react in any way, a small body hit his with astounding force, causing him to sputter in surprise. "Eh-"

"Stop. Hurt... (Stop that before you hurt him)"

The blond stared at the two identical girls before him, one with long brown hair and hugging him, while the other had short brown hair and was standing shyly in the doorway.

"M-Mairu-chan and Kururi-chan?"

"Yes~~~~!" The first one said happily, finally letting go of Shizuo's torso and stepping back, a huge grin on her face. "I'm Orihara Mairu! I'm so happy to meet you, Shizuo-san!"

"Orihara... Kururi..." The second one murmured, pointing to herself, a hesitant look on her face. "Pleased... (It's nice to meet you)"

Shizuo found himself smiling widely at the two girls. "Nice to meet you both. Are you middle school 3rd years?"

"Uh-huh!" Mairu bobbed her head up and down enthusiastically while Kururi nodded. "We have a _bunch_ of questions to ask you, Shizuo-san! Please come in!"

"A-ah... okay..."

Both twins eagerly ushered Shizuo in, making him sit at the nearest table. "Iza-nii told us that your brother was Hanejima Yuhei! Is that true? Is it? Is it?"

"Real?"

"Oh, you mean Kasuka?" The blond asked, surprisingly feeling no anger when they asked about his younger sibling. "Yeah, he's my brother. Want me to introduce you guys to him?"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Mairu screamed jubilantly, starting to jump up and down. "IT IS TRUE~~~~~~~~! I _knew_ Iza-nii would be helpful eventually!"

"Introduce?" Kururi repeated, her eyes wide. "Yuhei... meet?"

"Sure..." Shizuo answered, shoving his hands in his pockets. The blond grinned as an idea suddenly came to his mind. "If your older brother has any embarrassing stories, that you know of, that is."

Mairu perked up. "Only Iza-nii's pride? Oooh! We have a deal, then-"

"Oh, I'd be happy to tell them to you myself, Shizu-chan." A familiar voice floated into the room, causing Shizuo to sweat drop. "But, you must know..." Izaya slid his lanky arms around Shizuo's shoulder, kissing the back of his neck. "All information comes with a price~"

"G-good morning, flea." Shizuo muttered reluctantly.

"Mmm, morning. I hope my sisters haven't been influencing you too much..." Izaya whispered into the blond's ear as Mairu make mock gagging faces in front of them. Shizuo bit his lip hard to keep himself from snorting. "You're too harsh on them, they're good kids."

"To you." The informant frowned sullenly.

"Hey, after Kasuka comes, do you want to all get ice cream?" Shizuo suggested to the twins. Both blinked. "Really? Really, Shizuo-san? W-with Yuhei... YES~~!"

"Want. (I want to go)"

Izaya pouted. "I don't." Shizuo turned to him, trying not to laugh. "Aw, why not?"

"It is three against one! Iza-nii, I declare you overruled!"

"Final."

"..."

* * *

_A few minutes later..._

In the end, all five of them ended up walking across the street, both Mairu and Kururi clutching at Shizuo's arms and stealing shy glances at Kasuka, who had nodded at them politely, and Izaya walking in the back and sulking.

This time, Shizuo made sure to get a _separate_ ice cream from Izaya, and was throughly enjoying it-

...Until a tongue licked his cheek. _Slurrppppp!_

"I-IZAYA-" The blond choked in shock. "Wh-what are you-"

"I'm bored. And there's ice cream on your cheek." Izaya grabbed Shizuo's chin with one hand. "Stay still..."

"W-we're in public-"

"Then let's ditch our siblings. I don't think they'll mind." It was true, Kasuka and the twins were having a tentative conversation, in which he was doing most of the talking, which wasn't much, but- "O-oi-" Shizuo yelped in surprise as Izaya grabbed his hand and pulled him away.

A couple moments later, the two found themselves in a park. "...why... does this look so familiar?" Shizuo questioned hesitantly.

Izaya tilted his head. "Hmmm... isn't this the park that Shizu-chan wrecked before? ...Wow, they sure fixed up everything fast..."

"I-it is?" The blond blushed in embarrassment. "H-hey, _you_ were the one provoking me back then, flea..."

"Ahaha..." Izaya's hand clutched tighter around Shizuo's as they walked on. "So, Shizu-chan..."

"Hm?"

"You meet my family and I meet yours. They both like us (or at least approve of us somewhat, in Kasuka-kun's case), so we don't need to run around like Romeo and Juliet..."

"...and... you're getting at?" Shizuo said hesitantly, not understanding the point of stating the obvious.

Izaya looked him in the eyes, smiling. "I don't know. I'm... just happy."

Shizuo smiled back. "Me too."

"..."

"...but Izaya?"

"What?"

"No sex at all when Kasuka's around. Same goes for Kururi and Mairu-chan."

"...okay."

* * *

_The next day..._

Shizuo was with Tom when he got the phone call. "Hello? Shinra?"

"Sh... Shizuo... Listen, I need you to stay calm for once and listen to what I'm saying, okay?"

"Huh?"

He heard Shinra sigh on the other end. "Don't panic and start throwing things around. Izaya's... had an accident."

"...what?"

_To be continued..._

* * *

**...Izaya will be fine. I'm saying this now so you won't all kill me. ...or he might be if you all review. XDDDDDD I'm just joking. ****He will be fine. I promise. ^ ^"**


	25. Beware the Puffer Fish!

**A/N: Gah, sorry for the short chapter. ^^;; and for the worries about Izaya, but... he... will be fine... eventually...**

**^_^" thank you for all the reviews!**

* * *

For a few seconds, the world ended.

Shizuo clutched the phone tightly. "…he's… he's- Shinra, where is he?"

"I don't know if you should see him like this, Shizuo-"

"WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?"

"...he's... he's at my place, but-" The blond snapped the phone closed, practically breaking it. "Tom-san! I-I have to go somewhere!"

Tom raised an eyebrow at Shizuo's panicked face. "Eh… oh, okay, but-"

Shizuo didn't wait for the rest of his sentence. In a flash, the bodyguard broke out into a zigzagging run across the streets, literally knocking people over as he raced toward Shinra's house.

Everything was passing Shizuo in a blur as only one thought pounded through his head. He had to be okay. Izaya had to be okay. Because if he wasn't…

The world was going to end.

LINEBREAK

"But you really don't need to panic, Shizuo, I thought I'd just let you kno-" Shinra blinked, lowering the phone from his ear and staring at it. "…oops. I think he hung up…"

Celty started. _What? You said something to make him worry, didn't you? SHINRA!_

The doctor held his hands up hastily. "I- h-how can it not make him worry if he hangs up without listening to what else I had to say? I _told_ him to stay calm and not hang up-" He hastily edged away from the fuming dullahan. "But, Izaya-kun~ " Shinra twirled around, grinning. "Even thought it was in NO WAY intentional, you definitely owe me one with this!"

A scoff came from the bed in front of the bespectacled man. "And just how was that in any way a favor, Shinra? Just now, you most likely scared the love of my life to death-"

_BAAAAAAAAAM! _The door suddenly flew off of its hinges and crashed down to the floor.

"Eh?"

"I-IZAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Half-leaning in the doorway was Shizuo, panting heavily and looking like hell. "A- Is- where- is he okay?" Glancing up, the blond registered the sight of Izaya lying in the bed, wearing quite a lot of bandages and a grumpy look.

"Technically, Shizu-chan, I am not okay, but I will be, so there is no need to worry, go back to wor-" The rest of Izaya's speech was abruptly cut off as Shizuo dived on the bed and clutched him in a suffocating hug. "B-BLAGH, Sh-Shizu-chan, th-that hurts-"

"Please don't do that again." The informant's eyes widened as he heard Shizuo's voice crack quietly. "Damn it, I was so fucking scared. More scared than I ever was in my damn life. Izaya…"

Izaya sighed and turned his head, inhaling the scent of Shizuo's hair. "Ah, Shizu-chan. I'm sorry I made you worry like that."

"…" Blushing as he realized the position they were in, Shizuo slowly got up. "U-um…" As he got a closer look at Izaya, the ex-bartender gave a little jump. "Wh… what the hell happened to you?"

Both of Izaya's arms were wrapped heavily in bandages, his right leg seemed to be in a cast, and there was also gauze winded around his head.

Shinra coughed politely from the back. "Well, his left arm and right leg are both broken, his right arm is fractured and sprained in several places and suffered torn muscles, his head experienced two concussions, his torso is badly bruised, he had major internal damage as well, and his crot-"

"Sh-Shinra, I think that's enough…" Izaya muttered sullenly.

"His crotch got 'severly' damaged." Mairu reported mimicking Shinra's tone as she tried to hold back her laughter.

Startled, Shizuo realized that both the twins and Kasuka were present as well. "O-oh… hi…" He mumbled, embarrassed by his earlier actions.

"But~!" Shinra continued happily, "We can expect a complete recovery in several weeks, with no permanent damage albeit a few scars."

"S-several weeks?" Shizuo blinked. "W-wait, hang on…" Taking a deep breath, the blond stood up. "An accident? It sounds like Izaya got into ten accidents! …how… the hell did Izaya _get_ all of those injuries?"

"…"

There was a long silence in which the twins, Kasuka, and Celty fidgeted.

"…well…"

"_I_'ll tell you how it happened, Shizu-chan." Izaya said loudly, his red eyes glowering at everyone in the room except for Shizuo. "FIRST, I was just going out of my office, and THEN, a huge ROCK fell on my head!"

"The first concussion." Shinra remarked cheerfully.

"And, of _course_, no one had any idea of how that rock got up there in the first place…" Izaya muttered, shooting a glare at his sisters, who immediately hid behind Shizuo.

"Iza-nii, why does your tone sound so suspicious? You honestly don't think that someone would _deliberately_ place that rock there so you'd get injured, do you?"

"Bad… luck."

Izaya scowled. "Oh, just you wait until my arms are healed, you little chuckling demons. Anyway, after the rock hit my head, _Kasuka-kun-_" The name was said in too casual of a tone, "-just happened to be there, and I stumbled into him-"

All gazes turned to the actor. "…I thought it would be nice to say hello to Izaya-san." Kasuka murmured innocently.

"…ahem, so, as I stumbled into him (with a throbbing head, also), I ended up accidentally stepping in the street, where Celty-"

_I REALLY DIDN'T SEE HIM! I HONESTLY DIDN'T MEAN TO!_

"-failed to spot me and stop in time, resulting in me flying up in the air and landing rather horribly-"

"On, his left arm, that's why it's broken." Shinra interjected unhelpfully.

"-right in front of Dotachin's van, which ran over my leg-"

Shinra nodded. "Speaks for itself-"

"As sorry as they were, they had errands to do, so they couldn't be here." Mairu explained.

"-and just as Celty was dragging me back onto the sidewalk, Simon (who was delivering) walked into us, literally, he tripped on me-"

"The badly bruised torso." Shinra added good-naturedly.

"-and then, some mutant, huge, frozen puffer fish got smashed into my stomach-"

"Major internal injuries and crot-"

"-Will you stop those infuriating interruptions, Shinra?" The informant growled in frustration. "The puffer fish was _fine_ and probably got delivered to whoever was mad enough to order that… thing. I was not fine." Groaning, Izaya turned his head toward Shizuo. "But yes, Shizu-chan, that is the story of how we ended up in this situation."

"…oh." Shizuo said quietly, sensing the rather black aura. "…er-"

There was a clattering sound from the doorway. "IZAYA! ARE YOU OKAY? WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DOOR?" In the next second, Kadota, Walker, Erika, and Togusa all ran in. "IZAYAN! HE'S ALIVE-"

"Ugh, too much noise…" Izaya grumbled tiredly. "You should have stuck with whatever you four were doing."

Kadota scratched his neck awkwardly. "Sorry about that, Izaya, but those two nuts-" He jerked his thumb toward Erika and Walker. "-ordered some crazy thing, a huge puffer fish-"

"…."

"…"

Izaya's eye twitched. "This was all planned, wasn't it?"

"…eh?"

"N-no, h-how could it be?" Shinra reassured frantically. "Why would I want to take care of you? It's Shizuo who's your lover!"

"G-gah-" Shizuo felt his cheeks flame. "D-don't say things like that so… so bluntly, damn you, Shinra!"

"What?" Shinra demanded, his glasses slipping as he gawked in consternation. "What did I do? You two _have _had sex already, righ-"

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU BRINGING THAT UP?"

"Twice." Kasuka whispered in the smallest voice, but the word did not manage to escape Erika's ears.

"TWICE? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-"

Shizuo choked in disbelief, feeling more hassled by the minute. "KASUKA!"

Kadota groaned. "Oh god, I'm getting out of here-"

"But, Kuru-nee, they can't anymore if Iza-nii's you know what is damaged badly, right?" Mairu questioned curiously.

The short-haired twin nodded in agreement. "Unable."

"Girls, listen to what Shinra was saying!" Izaya yelled desperately. "_NO_ permanent damage, which means little Iza-nii will be perfectly able to-"

"ORIHARA IZAYA, DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT SENTENCE!" Shizuo warned, clamping a hand to Izaya's mouth. "MMMMF!"

"WAH! Kishitani-san, help!" Walker suddenly cried out.

"Huh? Yes?" Shinra looked around the room. And where's Celty-"

"Karisawa-san looks like she's ready to faint!"

"What? Why, what's wrong with her?"

Looking very pale, Karisawa had her hands over her mouth. "…Oh me goodness…"

"Wh-what?"

"I-I'm sorry, everyone, it's just, it's just-" Karisawa had to breathe several times before calming down. "IzaIza's arms and leg are hurt, so he can't really do anything by himself, right?"

A puzzled silence settled in the room.

"…right." Kururi confirmed quietly.

Impatient at their ignorance, Erika stamped her foot. "Well? He needs someone to take care of him for how long he'll be hurt!"

"Which means…" Comprehension slowly dawned on Shinra's face. "Ah! He'll need someone to take care of him… feed him, change him, bathe him, and so on…"

"…"

"…"

Shizuo's eye twitched. "W-whhy… is everyone looking at me like that? …and… stop grinning!" He yelled at Izaya.

Still hiding behind Shizuo, Mairu popped her head out. "But Shizuo-san! It can't be Shinra-sensei or Celty-san! They're both busy!"

"Us… can't."

Shizuo sweat-dropped. "Y-you mean you two can't either? But you're his sisters!"

"Boyfriend. Better."

"EHHHHH?" The blond sputtered. "B-but… m-maybe the hospital would be better-"

"Actually, Shizu-chan," Izaya interrupted, "if the hospital does admit me, then they'll want to know who operated on me and treated my injuries prior to my arrival there."

"W-well… Kadota-"

"NO." Was the firm reply as Kadota walked out, dragging the otaku duo behind him. "Hope you feel better soon, Izaya!"

"I am already~!" Izaya replied. "Now that _someone_ will be feeding me…" He winked at Shizuo.

"…B-b-but-"

Izaya made the saddest puppy eyed face he could manage. "Shizu-chan, don't you care about me?"

"…Uh…"

"…"

"It's settled!" Shinra declared loudly, clapping his hands. "Until Izaya is completely recovered from his injuries, Shizuo will now be his nurse! We can try move him back to your place tomorrow, Shizuo, or maybe even tonight if you don't mind-"

"W-w-w-wait, but, I, hang on- WHA- NURSE?" Shizuo demanded, his face starting to turn red again.

Izaya tsked in pity. "Oh, if only I had a nurse costume-"

"IZAYA!"

Shinra perked up. "Oh, if you want to, you could borrow the one Celty made for m-"

"SHINRA!"

"Eep." The doctor swallowed nervously. "…come on, Shizuo, be a good sport and put the cap on, at least? And plus, Izaya needs to take his painkillers now…"

"…b-but-"

"Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase, Shizuo-san?" Mairu whined, tugging at the bodyguard's arm.

"Pleading." Kururi added, looking up to Shizuo with huge eyes.

"…"

Several minutes later, Shizuo was sullenly sitting on a stool next to Izaya's bed, raising a spoonful of some gooey medicine with a white nurse cap sitting on his blond hair.

"Awwwww, he looks so adorable, doesn't he, Kuru-nee? The only thing that spoils it all is Iza-nii!"

"…Cute."

Blushing heavily, Shizuo lifted the spoon with a trembling hand. "J-j-just this once, o-okay?"

"But Shizu-chan, you'll have to do this _every_ time you feed me-"

"Sh-shut up!" The blond grumbled, trying to hide his blushing by pouting slightly.

Izaya's mouth fell open in shock at the sight of Shizuo, blushing and wearing a nurse cap, actually pouting at him! If he just kept his gaze up, then it would almost be like Shizuo was in an actual nurse outfit-

"Ah, good, k-keep your mouth open like that, I-Izaya…" The sooner Shizuo got this over with, the better! Smiling in relief, he had the spoon to Izaya's lips, when-

_SPLURRRRRRT! _ Blood flew out of Izaya's nose as the informant's head suddenly dropped down.

"…wha-WHAT-" Shizuo gritted his teeth in disbelief. The flea was having a _nosebleed_?

"Oh dear…" Shinra mused. "It's not good if he loses too much blood…"

"Th-then I prove my point, damn it! Exactly why I shouldn't be the one taking care of him! I'm dangerous-"

Izaya's head shot back up, a rather goofy expression on his face. "D-don't be ridiculous, Shizu-chan! I'm all right! Now give me that medicine!"

"THE HELL? N-NO!" Shizuo jabbed the spoon violently toward the blood-covered sheets. "At this rate, you'll die of fucking blood loss instead of your injuries, you perverted flea!"

The said pervert eyed Shizuo hungrily. "Hmm… didn't I tell you that you look quite sexy when you're angry, Shizu-chan? At this rate, I might just get another-"

"DON'T YOU DARE-"

_SPURRRRRRT! _Izaya's own eyes widened as well. "A-ah, shit, I didn't mean for that to happen-"

"IZAYA!"

"Okay, hang on, hang on…"

LINEBREAK

_Several minutes later…_

"Y-Yosh, here we go…" Shizuo said cautiously, his palms sweating. "…th-this time, Izaya, _close_ your eyes. Th-that way, you won't… b-bleed. B-besides, I can't even feed you with you looking at me like that!"

Izaya shut his eyes, opening his mouth wildly. "All right, then. I'm ready. Aaaa~!"

Shizuo stared. Why did Izaya suddenly remind him of a baby bird? …a cute baby bird, though- "HERE!" As fast as he could, the blond shoved the spoon into Izaya's mouth, almost choking the informant.

"Yay!" Mairu clapped. "Finally! It worked!"

Kururi put a limp fist up. "Success..."

"S-see Shizuo, th-that wasn't _too _bad, was it?"

Shizuo simply groaned again. How was he supposed to do this for three weeks? And with the nurse cap on!

"Ne, Shizu-chan!" The bodyguard looked up to see Izaya smirking at him as he licked his lips. "I think I'll actually enjoy taking medicine from now on…"

"H-" Shizuo's cheeks reddened once more. "Y-you…"

* * *

**Extreme gratitude to Boss K and Monster-san for helping me think up Izaya's injuries. XD ^ ^ well, see you all next time!**


	26. Misinterpretations

**A/N: ...wow... I am so lazy... anyway, please enjoy this chapter. ^^" I hope everyone is still having a great summer, and thank you for all the reviews, I'm sorry I can't reply to them all. XD**

* * *

_"I-Izaya-kun, stop it!" Shizuo practically giggled as he was pushed gently against the wall, his lover sucking his neck greedily. "We-we can't do this, we-we both need to get up e-early tomorrow…"_

_Izaya reluctantly left the blond's neck, lifting his head so he could look Shizuo in the eye. "Then… we'll stop after one round, then." The informant suggested cheerfully, quickly kissing Shizuo on the mouth before he could protest. "MMHPM!"_

_After a few minutes, Izaya separated their mouths, a soft voice of protest escaping Shizuo as he did. The black-haired man eagerly proceeded to open Shizuo's shirt, his hands slipping underneath the white fabric to explore the man's torso._

_"Mmmm..." Gasping at Izaya's touches, Shizuo clutched the man's shirt desperately. "S... stop... n-not tonight..." Izaya paused only to open his own shirt, pressing soft kisses to the former bartender's hair. Shizuo blushed at the heat of their bare chests. "I..."_

_"I'll be gentle..." Izaya took Shizuo's hand and kissed it, massaging it reassuringly. "I promise..."_

_"Iza-AGH!" A surprised yell left his mouth as Izaya suddenly threw him on the bed without warning._

_The blond gulped when Izaya crawled on the bed, straddling Shizuo. "W-wah, Izaya, no, this is wrong-" Izaya cut him off again with another kiss. "Shizu-chan..." He breathed softly into Shizuo's face. "There's nothing wrong about this. I love you... and I want to make you feel good..."_

_Shizuo went red-faced at the words, his stomach twisting uncomfortably. "Y... you..."_

_"Yes, me, beautiful." Izaya chuckled before reaching down and-_

"A-AAAAH!" Shizuo shot up from his bed, eyes wide and hair tousled.

"…"

"…"

He... didn't...

"...SHIT! NOT AGAIN!" The blond swore, ramming his head furiously against the wall, it denting in the progress. "I DID NOT JUST DREAM THAT, I DID NOT, I DID NOT, I DID NOT GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

(Enter a long pause of silence filled with cricket chirping sounds)

"...damn it."

* * *

"Izaya!" Shizuo announced warily as he waked carefully from the kitchen, carrying a tray. "Are you awake yet? I made you breakfast!"

Elbowing the door open, the blond stepped into the room.

Izaya was still lying motionless in his bed, wearing a look of boredom on his face that momentarily brightened as soon as he saw his boyfriend. "Shizu-chan! Good morning~! Ah, you made me breakfast again, how thoughtful of you!"

"L-like you'd let me get away with not making it, flea..." Shizuo muttered, lowering his face.

"Well?" Izaya asked expectantly. "Are you going to feed it to me or am I going to simply sit here helplessly like last time?" The last part was said with a chuckle.

"..." Shizuo bit his lip in embarrassment at the memory. "F-fine..." Telling himself to remain calm, he hesitantly set the tray on Izaya's lap. "D... don't you try anything, now..."

"Ahahaha..."

It had been three days since Izaya had his "accidents". Three days since life became horrible and wonderful for Shizuo at the same time.

If it had only been taking care of Izaya, well, Shizuo wouldn't have minded it _that_ much. He may not have been the best caretaker out there, but the informant _was_ his boyfriend, even if it meant... helping him- HELPING, MIND YOU- ...bathe... and change...

However, the situation was even more awkward because of one problem...

Out of all times... WHY DID IT HAVE TO GET LIKE THIS? This... this was not fair!

First of all, Izaya was seriously injured, and just beginning to recover. Second of all, They just... just did... it... that day just before he got... his injuries, so Shizuo should not be feeling... deprived. Third of all... those dreams were starting to make him sound as perverted as... as...

"Haaaah..." Izaya sighed loudly, causing Shizuo to almost jump in surprise. "You know, you feeding me is great and all, but I can't help but feel like a two year old... once I get better, Kururi and Mairu are both going to get it..." He murmured, a grumpy look in his face.

Shizuo opened his mouth to say that it wasn't their fault, but stopped as he secretly believed the twins were somehow responsible. "...um..."

"Plus, you're not wearing your nurse cap."

"..."

"..."

"THE HELL, FLEA?"

Izaya pouted. "But you looked so _cute_... and it wasn't even a full outfit, Shizu-chan-"

"SHUT UP!" The blond yelled, his face bright red. "I am not wearing that again! Not after you got that nosebleed! NEVER AGAIN! NEVER!"

"Hmph, not even to fulfill the wishes of a sick man..."

"STOP TALKING LIKE YOU'RE DYING OR SOMETHING, IDIOT!" Pausing in his rant, Shizuo abruptly flinched as something brushed his face. "...Izaya?"

The said man smiled weakly, his pale fingers peeking out from his cast. "I may not be able to grasp anything properly yet, but I can still move this arm, even if it is in a cast." His fingers slowly tilted Shizuo's chin. "Shizu-chan..."

"A-ah-" The bodyguard tried not to gulp as his face became noticeable closer to his boyfriend's, Izaya's cool breath fanning over his mouth. "Haah-" Shizuo froze in horror as less than innocent thoughts flashed through his mind, his lips seconds away from Izaya's...

"I-I- um... Wh-what the hell are you doing, flea?" Shizuo demanded, hastily squeezing his eyes shut.

"Mm? Just giving you a thank you kiss, sweetheart, now hold still."

His heart pounding, Shizuo felt sweat forming on his palms. "But... it's only break-mmm!" The rest of his sentence was cut off as Izaya kissed him gently on the mouth.

"...hnng..." Shizuo felt himself blush in shame as he tentatively kissed back before pulling away quickly. Izaya blinked before his eyes narrowed in disappointment. "Wha? Get back here, Shizu-chan, that was the shortest kiss ever-"

"D-don't over exaggerate, louse!" The blond retorted, uncomfortably aware that Izaya's hand was still cupping his cheek. "That was _not_ the sh-MMNGH!" Brown eyes widened in surprise as, in a rare spurt of strength, Izaya tugged Shizuo down into another kiss. The blond stifled a groan of frustration as Izaya massaged his lips softly.

How could he still be such a great kisser with all four limbs injured? ...not to mention his head injury... Wait! Shizuo's eyes reopened in panic. This wasn't what he should be frustrated over! Izaya was sick, Izaya was sick, and with all the dreams he had been having, Shizuo might get... carried... away...

...to hell with it.

Giving in to his urge, Shizuo started to kiss Izaya back, his hand coming to rest on the white cast, holding Izaya's hands to his cheeks-

_BAAAAAAM!_

"IZA-NIIIIIIIIIII~~~!" Without warning, the door burst open violently, revealing Kururi, Mairu, and Kasuka. "We-"

"..." There was a very, very long pause.

Then...

"Iza-nii! Didn't you listen to what Shinra-sensei said the day before! With your body in that state, you can't get a-" Kururi interrupted her twin firmly. "Quiet. (Shut up)"

Izaya snorted and lowered his hand, while Shizuo looked ready to faint from embarrassment. "What do you two want?"

Mairu pouted. "Hmph, you're cold-hearted as ever, Iza-nii! We came to say good morning-"

"Good_bye_ then!"

"Iza-nii!"

Ignoring the two arguing siblings, Kasuka turned to Shizuo. "...are you all right?"

"...Uh..." The blond fidgeted, feeling utterly humiliated. "I... I... er... um..."

Meanwhile, Mairu and Izaya were still arguing. "With you all restrained like that, you shouldn't be hitting on Shizuo-san! Especially when you're bedridden and he's trying to take care of you! That's low, even for you, Iza-nii!"

"Worst. (You're the worst of them all.)"

Shizuo almost choked. Restrained... Restrains as in... handcuffs? Shizuo-san... Shizuo... bedridden... bed... low... Iza-nii.. Izaya... Shizuo... handcuffed... to the bed with Izaya... _"I want to make you feel good-"_ NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, THIS WAS NOT HAPPENING TO HIM-

_Vrrrrrb._

"Ah," Izaya coughed politely. "Could someone get my phone from the table? I think it's vibrating."

... Beside him, Shizuo froze. Vi... Vibrate...

Surprisingly (or not), it was Kasuka complied, picking up the device and opening it. "Here."

"Thank you, Kasuka-kun. Oh, good, nothing I actually have to reply to..."

"Iza-nii, what happened to your flashy ringtone from last time?" Mairu questioned, still sulking.

"Change?"

"Yeah. Why are you looking at me like that? Shizu-chan has his phone on vibrate too..."

...like... Shizu-chan... vibrate- WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING? The blond promptly began to bash his head into the wall. _WACK! WACK! WACK! WACK! WACK-_

"You two..." Izaya rolled his eyes. "It's not like I want burden Shizu-chan, he's my boyfriend, I have a right to flirt- WAIT, Shizu-chan, what are you doing?" The man yelled in partial alarm, finally aware that the said boyfriend was head-butting the wall.

"Nii-san, stop that-" Kasuka began, while Mairu whined in disappointment. "No, Shizuo-san, we can't have you injured too! You're supposed to take advantage of Iza-nii's injuries to become dominant-"

"...!" _CRASH! _Shizuo almost flipped out in shock. "Wha... wha-"

A little relieved that the blond had paused his violent actions, Izaya smirked. "Like that would ever happen, right, Sh-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Shizuo screamed in horror, his eyes going wide at the images running through his mind. "W-W-W-W-WAIT, U-UM, WHAT I MEAN IS, UM, ER-"

"..."

All four occupants looked at him blankly.

The bodyguard coughed, tugging at the collar of his shirt. "Er... is... is it just me, or is it really hot in here? Haha... g-guess summer's coming really early... I... I think I better go to... er... work because... um... you know, you get caught up in work and you forget the heat and... all that kind of stuff. Anyway, BYE!" Shizuo then quickly fled the room.

"..."

"..."

"..."

Izaya tried his best not to flinch when two identical pairs of eyes glared murderously at him. "...w... what?"

"Iza-nii, what have you been doing to Shizuo-san?" Mairu demanded. "Handcuffs? Perverted outfits? Restraints? Vibrators? A nurse cap is only a nurse cap, but if you've been teasing and threatening him to do those kinds of stuff, you really are the worst!"

"Kinky!" Kururi agreed furiously.

"EH- I, I haven't been doing any of that!" Izaya groaned wearily, wanting to grab his hair in frustration. "...but it does bother me that he's acting like that... maybe forcing him to take care of me like this wasn't the best idea... What do you think, Kasuka-ku-" The information broker suddenly sweat-dropped. "K... KASUKA-KUN?"

The brunette kept standing, his hair covering his eyes as a dark aura seemed to surround him. "...Izaya-san was... teasing... and threatening... Nii-san... handcuffs... perverted outfits... vibrators..."

"A-a-a-ah..." Izaya tried his best not to gulp, feeling sweat drip down his back. "N-no... I... I haven't been doing anything like that... um... girls, would you-"

Kururi and Mairu gazed eagerly at Kasuka. "It's.. it's... DARK YUHEI~~~~! We're seeing dark Yuhei in PERSON! Kuru-nee! Can you believe it?"

"Wonder. (It's amazing.)"

"..."

"Uh..." Izaya cleared his throat. "Er... Kasuka-kun, let me assure you, I did not do anything to your brother-"

"When we came in... you were kissing him..." Kasuka murmured, raising his head. As he did, his left eye became visible, glowering at Izaya with frightening rage.

"..."

"Ah... K-Kasuka-kun, l-let us not be unreasonable here- AND OH LOOK!" Izaya yelled, grateful for a distraction. "H-he forgot his phone! Perhaps Kasuka-kun should-"

"Ah!" Mairu perked up cheerfully. "I'll give it to him! Come on, Kuru-nee, let's catch up to him!"

"Haste. (we need to run fast.)" The two girls ran out of the house, not even waiting for their brother to protest. "SHIZUO-SAN~~~! WAIT!"

"..."

"..."

As their unfortunate brother was left alone with Kasuka, there was a definite drop in the room's air temperature.

"..." Izaya had a strong feeling this wasn't going to end well...

* * *

Once he was out of the house, Shizuo stopped and slowed to a walk.

"..." The blond immediately put his hand to his face in shame. How... How could he have been thinking those kind of thoughts? _Izaya_ was the perverted one, with his bright, shining red eyes and his silky, soft black hair, his smooth, pale skin, his touches that were both gentle yet strong at the same time, the one person who Shizuo would show weakness to, the o-

"STOP. SOUNDING. SO. DAMN. GIRLY." Shizuo repeated firmly to himself, slapping his face with each sentence.

A few passerby stared at him strangely, but most went on with their business.

"SHIZUO-SAN!" A loud yell from behind caused the blond to turn around. "Hm?" At once, he was tackled by Mairu into a bear hug. "M-Mairu-chan-"

"Yay! We finally caught up with you!"

Her twin held up Shizuo's phone. "Left. (you forgot this back at your house.)"

"Oh... thanks." Shizuo said gratefully, taking it and sliding it into his pocket. "Sorry about that." He added, patting both of their heads affectionately.

Kururi gazed up at him curiously. "...okay?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine."

Mairu blinked at Shizuo suspiciously. "...Shizuo-san... I really don't know how Iza-nii was lucky enough to get you, but you are really important to him! So... please don't break up with him!" The girl finished, bowing her head frantically, her braids flipping back in the process.

The former bartender gawked at the twins in consternation. "Wh... what? Whatever made you guys think I wanted to break up with Izaya?"

"W-well, you were acting so weird! And our brother is such a pain!"

"Contact." Kururi added, pointing to her eye. ( "Shizuo-san never gave him eye-contact when we came in" or... something like that. )

Guilt formed in Shizuo's stomach as he now deeply regretted his actions. Izaya hadn't really done anything wrong... did he think Shizuo was trying to break up with him too? The blond sighed before leaning down and placing a hand on each twin's shoulder. "Listen, you guys..."

"Shizuo-san?"

Shizuo smiled tentatively. "If your older brother thinks the same way, then tell him that I will _never_ even think of breaking up with him, no matter how infuriating he is."

The girls' faces both brightened. "Really?"

"Really."

Mairu did a victory jump, pumping her fist. "YES! I'm so happy! We still have a chance of becoming in-laws with Yuhei!"

"Grateful..." Kururi murmured, bobbing her head.

"Ah... I see-"

"Oh, but Shizuo-san really is an amazing person!" Mairu added hastily, her eyes shining. "Still dedicated to being with Iza-nii even if he does get all kinky on you!"

"Endure. (It must be hard to endure all of that)."

"...huh?" Shizuo's mouth dropped open. WHAT did they just say?

"Oh, it's okay, Shizuo-san, you don't have to pretend! We squeezed the whole story out of Iza-nii! Don't worry, he'll pay!"

"Punish. (He needs to be punished after what he did to you)."

"We'll see you, Shizuo-san!"

"Wa-wait a minute, Kururi, Mairu-" The former bartender was left alone.

"..."

"..."

"...Izaya... said what?" Shizuo murmured to himself, wondering if he could go to work without fainting again.

* * *

**...I have nothing to say. 0_0 ...well, actually, reviews make me happy! ^0^**


	27. Expectations

**O_O"" Wah, I keep getting distracted from this story. O-on another note, thank you everyone for reviewing! ^_^"**

* * *

_BAAAAANG! CRASH! _**BOOOOOM!**

"ARGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

In one moment, the man had been swearing at Tom and making quite a lot of rude gestures with his hands. In the next, he had sailed smack into a large billboard, and landed with a rather nasty crunching sound.

"…"

Several minutes passed, in which Shizuo breathed heavily while his employer patiently waiting for him to let steam off.

Finally, Tom slowly turned to Shizuo, still eyeing him cautiously. "…all right, what happened now?"

The blond crossed his arms and looked away crankily. "No-nothing. That guy was just annoying me."

"O… okay then…" His boss warily approached the unconscious body and began to rifle through the jacket pockets, coming across a wad of bills. "So he did have money on him, huh… that cheating liar…"

Fortunately, the debt collector was too occupied with his own mutterings (and trying his best not to provoke Shizuo's anger as well) that he failed to notice the heavy flush on his bodyguard's face.

Feeling the heat on his cheeks, Shizuo hastily raised his hand up to hide it. Why did he have to keep blushing like that? After all, it wasn't like… like Izaya would actually… actually _know_ what had been haunting the blond's mind for the past few days… would he?

Shizuo stifled a groan. If Izaya did ever find out, he'd probably never let Shizuo forget it… especially when he recovered… when Izaya recovered-

"All right, that's all we needed…" Tom murmured to himself, pocketing the money. "Oi, Shizuo! Time to g-"

_BAAAAAAAM!_ The brick wall next to them suddenly crumpled, dust and small bits of rock flying everywhere.

"…S…SHIZUO?"

Shizuo slowly removed his hand from the destroyed structure, his face showing tremendous frustration. "…just… just… relieving… stress…"

"…s-stress?"

"Y-yeah."

For the rest of that day, Tom was careful kept a safe distance from Shizuo.

* * *

"IZA-NII~~~~! WE MADE YOU LUNCH~~~!" Mairu called happily, carrying a large bowl in her hands as she opened the door with her foot. Kururi followed her in warily. "…care. (Be careful not to spill it)"

Izaya glanced suspiciously at his sisters. "…Lunch… you say- OOF-" The bowl was forcefully _slammed_ onto his stomach, knocking the breath out of him. "WH… what in the world is in this thing?"

Mairu smiled brightly, flipping her braids over her shoulder. "I have absolutely no idea! I think it's some kind of stew!"

"...haah?"

"Unknown."

"…you both do not know what it is and you want me to eat it?" Izaya repeated, giving them a look of incredulous disbelief.

"Un."

"Hey!" Mairu pouted. "When Shizuo-san made you stew, you didn't ask him what it was!"

The informant carefully examined the bowl with his eyes. "That's because Shizu-chan was not likely to poison me. Unlike _some_ people, he's actually a little concerned for an injured person such as myself. Besides, I can't even tell what this... so called 'stew' is!"

"That… also… like… (That, and also, you like Shizuo-san a lot)" Kururi added.

"…maybe that too." Izaya admitted reluctantly. "But still! What _did_ you put in this… 'stew' as you call i-"

"We didn't make it!" Mairu said cheerfully.

"…"

"Then who-"

"Me." Kasuka murmured quietly, standing in the doorway.

"…"

There was a very awkward silence.

"K-Kasuka-kun… I… didn't see you there…"

"See how lucky you are, Iza-nii? You get to eat what YUHEI made! What Yuhei cooked with his own hands! AAAAAAAAH!"

"…"

Trying to disguise his uneasiness with a smile, Izaya let out a fake laugh. "Hahaha… er… well, I really do appreciate the gesture, Kasuka-kun, but I've somewhat lost my appetite, mainly because my stomach is in great pain thanks to Mai-"

"Izaya-san should try eating it." Kasuka remarked in his usual quiet tone. "I am certain that it would help his stomach."

"…"

"…"

"W-well-"

"Ahahahaha, stop trying to be modest and eat it already, Iza-nii!" Mairu interrupted loudly, smacking Izaya's arm in what she thought was a playful way.

"Ggggh..." A muffled scream of pain almost escaped his mouth, his teeth clenched tightly as his arm throbbed. "I...I think I'd actually... prefer something the two of you made..."

Not appearing to have noticed Izaya's agony, Mairu grinned. "You shouldn't say things that you'll regret later, Iza-nii! Oh, that's right, since Shizuo-san's not here to feed you…" The young girl held up a spoon, both the utensil and her glasses flashing in the light. "Don't worry, Iza-nii, I'll try my best!"

Anything her brother was about to say in protest was abruptly muffled by the harsh prod of the spoon against his mouth. "Eat up, dear brother!"

"I-I do not think so!" Izaya muttered, dodging the deadly spoon while attempting to talk at the same time. "S-since you two adore Kasuka-kun's cooking so much, perhaps you two should be the ones to eat it-"

Kasuka interrupted him. "Please don't be shy, Izaya-san. We both know my brother…" (At this, there was an obvious pause) "…would feel _terrible_ if we let you go hungry like this…"

"…"

* * *

"I'm home." Shizuo announced quietly, shutting the door behind him as he started to take off his shoes. "...wait, what am I say-"

"SHIZUO-SAN!" Mairu came running towards him, her face ecstatic as if she hadn't talked to him just that morning. "You're back! Were you okay? You're so late! We ate without you, sorry!"

Behind her, Kururi dipped her head in greeting. "Welcome…"

"How was your day?" Kasuka inquired, washing the dishes.

"…" The blond blinked several times, surprised at the amount of greetings he received. "…uh, thanks. It was… good. What about you guys? Don't tell me you spent all day taking care of Izaya…"

"You took care of him more." His younger brother contradicted gently.

Shizuo smiled at him anxiously, whispering so the twins would not hear. "I-I know, but you even took more time off to look after him while I go to work…"

"It's fine."

Mairu tugged Shizuo's arm. "Shizuo-san! Kuru-nee and I made dinner for you! We made soup and pudding!"

"Soup... and pudding?"

"Yuhei... teach... (Yuhei helped us cook it)."

Chuckling, Shizuo patted their heads fondly. "Thanks, I'm looking forward to it, then. By the way, how is your big brother doing?"

"Tired… rest… (He was tired, so he's sleeping)" Kururi explained in a soft tone, nudging a bowl of soup towards him.

Shizuo frowned. "Ah, I see. I'll go see him after I eat, then. I hope he ate enough..." At this, both Kururi and Mairu shared a look. "...what's wrong, you two?"

"Nothing..."

* * *

After eating his pudding (which both Mairu and Kasuka tried to discreetly steal), Shizuo walked quietly to Izaya's room (yes, while the informant was staying there, he was going to call it that), and softly opened the door.

"Iz-"

"SHIZU-CHAN!" Izaya's eyes bulged as he saw his boyfriend. "GAH! GET OVER HERE!" He demanded, whacking his movable arm against the side of the bed.

"E-eh-" Shizuo hastily hurried over to his side. "Wh-what's wrong?"

"I THOUGHT I WAS NEVER GOING TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" Izaya tried to embrace Shizuo but only succeeded in unintentionally smacking the blond's face. "A-agh, sorry about that, Shizu-chan-"

"It-it's fine, but... what happened? I-I thought Kasuka and the twins were taking care of you-"

A dark shadow seemed to come over Izaya's face. "Th-those... I was sure I was going to die... Mairu and Kururi were treating me so _roughly_! Me, their only brother!" He gave a tragic groan. "And Kasuka-kun _forced_ me to eat this suspicious stew! I was certain that it was poison!"

"..." Shizuo tried his best not to sigh as he brought his hand to his forehead. "Ah... I... see... w-well, I'm here now, right?"

"You... you don't believe me, do you?" Izaya accused, glaring at Shizuo.

"...er..." Shizuo tried to smile reassuringly. "D-did the stew taste bad? Do you feel sick? I've never really tasted much of Kasuka's cooking-"

"Do you know what this means, Shizu-chan?" Izaya interrupted, a wicked glint appearing in his eyes.

"Eh?" Shizuo blinked, not noticing the bandaged hand behind him.

"It means... PUNISHMENT!" With surprising speed, the hand brought down Shizuo's body onto Izaya's, pressing their faces close together. "I-Iz... W-WAIT- N-NNNNNNGH!" A gasp of surprise escaped his mouth when Izaya's tongue snaked into his ear. "G-GH- wh-what do y-you... th-think you're... doing?" The blond's stomach churned as his boyfriend continued to throughly lick and nip at his ear, finally withdrawing his tongue to kiss the earlobe.

"It's Shizu-chan's fault..." Izaya muttered hotly, his mouth centimeters away from Shizuo's. "Shizu-chan also tried to escape last time too..." He leaned his head forward and kissed the blond's temple. "Am I that unappealing in my injured state?"

Shizuo blushed fiercely. "S-stupid flea! I... it's not that, i-it's just..."

The informant eagerly pressed their foreheads together, locking their eyes. "Mmmmmmmm? What is it~~? Tell me?"

Biting his lip in exasperation, the blond groaned helplessly. "...y... you..."

"Me?"

"Y-your kisses..."

"My kisses?"

"Th-they..."

"They?"

Shizuo closed his eyes, his cheeks getting redder. "...They... they make me..." He was slowly getting closer and closer to Izaya's lips. "Th-they make... me feel..."

Curling his fingers around the blond locks, Izaya was about to kiss Shizuo, quite forgetting what he was saying until-

"Tired!" The former bartender said abruptly, getting up from Izaya and sliding awkwardly off the bed.

"...eh?" The brunette watched him in undisguised incredulity, his mouth hanging slightly open. "...What?"

Shizuo faked a yawn under his fingers. "They make me feel really sleepy... so..." He took a hopeful step to the door. "If you're feeling tired t-"

"Wait a minute, Shizu-chan-"

"D-DAMMIT, FLEA!" Still flushed hotly, Shizuo whipped around. "W-we can make out all you want once you're recovered, Izaya-" He stopped at the expression on Izaya's face. It wasn't a desperate expression of a pervert, but almost... embarrassed?

"..." Shizuo warily took a step forward. "What? What is it?"

Keen to avoid Shizuo's eyes, his boyfriend seemed very interested in his leg cast. "...well... you know... Mairu did spill a little stew on me before..."

"...okay..." Shizuo acknowledged grumpily, wondering what that fact had to do with anything.

"...and since you want me to sleep and everything..." Izaya made a sheepish gesture with his cast arm at his chest. "I... need to change my clothes... right?"

"..."

"..."

"...I said-"

Shizuo almost yelped in horrified realization. "Y-you want me to... _undress_ you?"

Izaya winced slightly at the look on his face. "...it's not like you haven't done it before Shizu-chan-"

"Thi-this is different!" The blond yelled, losing his head. "N-NO! I refuse!"

"You refuse?"

"Just... just stay in those clothes until Mairu or Kururi or Kasuka or SOMEONE comes just not me-"

"Shizu-chaaaaaan..." Izaya gave him the best puppy eyes he could manage. "I feel so uncomfortable and _dirty_..."

"A-aah..." Shizuo looked away, shifting his feet uneasily. Usually, he would not have put up such a fuss, but with his recent... thoughts, Shizuo didn't completely trust himself...

"...f-fine. But... don't say anything! ANYTHING!" As soon as he heard the words, Izaya cracked a wide grin, his puppy eyes vanishing. "I knew I could count on you, Shizu-chan..." The informant almost purred, gingerly stretching his bandaged arms out.

"N-not a word, flea!" Shizuo hissed in warning, anxious to get this over with. "And DON'T move!" The bodyguard added as he took shaking steps toward Izaya's bed. His hands reached out and touched the top of Izaya's buttoned shirt before unfastening it quickly.

It was extremely unnerving for Shizuo. His hands kept slipping and fumbling in their haste to open Izaya's shirt, prolonging the task even further. To his word, the informant had kept silent, but in this situation, the silence was becoming somewhat unbearable.

What made it worst, Shizuo thought unhappily, finally managing to get the damn thing unbuttoned, was that he could feel Izaya's gaze on his face the whole time. He could just see the red eyes, slanted and watching his flushed face with amusement...

...wait a second... he _could_ actually see those eyes! Shizuo froze in shock to see Izaya in his face for the second time. "Wh-what the fuck are you doing?" The blond demanded, jumping away.

Still smiling, Izaya shrugged half-heartedly, lifting his arms awkwardly as the shirt slid down from his back. "I was trying to kiss my cute Shizu-chan. Tell me, is that really a crime?"

"Gggh..." Not knowing what to say to that, Shizuo snatched Izaya's shirt away. "Y-you talked! That's it! I'm not gonna help you get into your clean shirt!"

"Oh, that's fine, Shizu-chan!" Izaya winked. "I know you secretly like this view, don't yo- OOOF!" A fresh shirt thrown in the face muffled the rest of his words. "Hahahaha, how funny, flea!" Shizuo laughed sarcastically, stomping over and yanking the shirt on Izaya roughly. "Ow, Shizu-"

"GOODNIGHT!" The blond huffed, throwing the blanket haphazardly over the black haired-head, which immediately popped out, wearing an indignant expression. "And I suppose Shizu-chan will leave me all by myself to sleep in this cold, lonely room aga... Eh?"

Shizuo pulled a chair over to Izaya's bed and sat in it, determinedly looking away. "There! I'm right here, and I'll stay here the whole night! You can think of it was payback for the time I was drunk or as compensation for my 'rough' treatment, whatever, just stop fucking complaining already!"

His boyfriend responded by shifting slightly in the bed, muttering how mean it was of everyone to be treating him so roughly in his delicate state, but Shizuo knew he was smiling.

Ten silent minutes later, Shizuo slowly reached out and touched Izaya's hand softly. "...stupid flea..." He muttered to himself. "Were you really in pain from before..." His eyes widened in surprise as the tips of the pale fingers curled around his.

"...Shizu-chan..." The former bartender sweat-dropped. "...u-uh... you're still awake-"

"Get in."

"...huh? Get in where?"

Izaya snorted wearily. "In bed, my beloved protozoan. Did you really think I was going to let you sleep like that? You'll have a sore back tomorrow-"

"But-what- that!" Shizuo stuttered, trying to find something to protest about. "Y-You're still-"

"The bed's big. It'll be fine. And let's face it..." The informant added, flapping an arm. "I can't really grope you in this state, can I?"

"..." Basically meaning... Shizuo had to be careful to stay away from Izaya's mouth only... Not that much risk... The blond sighed as he relented once more, tentatively lying down across Izaya. "I'm only doing this because you keep going on about how our siblings gave you such a hard time."

"Huh..." Izaya tightened his grip on Shizuo's fingers. "In that case, I should probably get them to bug me every day from now on."

Shizuo rolled his eyes. Izaya was so ridiculous... but at least he was considerate, not allowing Shizuo to even sleep in a chair when Izaya slept on the floor for him... Blushing a little, the bodyguard turned his face away.

"Oh, and Shizu-chan?"

"What now?"

"I'm holding you to that promise from earlier."

"Huh?" Shizuo jerked back around, suddenly no longer drowsy. "Wh-what are you talking about..." His demand trailed off as he remembered... _"W-we can make out all you want once you're recovered, Izaya-"_

"Once I've recovered, huh..." Izaya whispered in Shizuo's ear, smirking. "That's all the motivation I needed."

"GA-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU PERVERTED- I-I SWEAR-"

On the other side of the door, Mairu hastily clamped her hands to her ears, backing away as Shizuo's yelling made her eavesdropping quite easier. "...How _did_ Iza-nii manage to survive?" She wondered out loud.

"Speed? (He was too fast for Shizuo-san to catch him.)" Kururi suggested quietly. Kasuka nodded his head in agreement. "Nii-san did use that excuse when I asked him about it... Except, Izaya-san is not capable of running now..."

"Well, he captured Shizuo-san's heart now, didn't he?" Mairu pressed her head to the door again. "...Hmm... I guess they're only sleeping now. But we were really surprised, weren't we, Kuru-nee? Iza-nii really has changed!"

"Un..."

* * *

_"See, Iza-nii! Yuhei would NEVER poison you! Wasn't it yummy?"_

_Izaya sighed heavily. "That settles it. I'm never eating anything unless I'm absolutely sure it was Shizu-chan who made it!"_

_Mairu perked up triumphantly. "Aha! So you were lying when you said you wanted to eat something Kuru-nee and I made!"_

_"..." The eldest Orihara eyed her with a mixture of exasperation and wariness. "...Not necessarily..." He muttered reluctantly. "If you two hadn't been under my influence for so long, I wouldn't have minded so much..."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"Flatter... bribe? (are you trying to flatter us so we'll do something for you?)" Kururi asked suspiciously._

_Izaya hastily rolled his eyes. "Forget it! You can't even request for something without being accused here!"_

_"That's all your fault, Iza-nii!" Mairu pointed out cheerfully._

* * *

"The old Iza-nii would have never wanted us to make food for him..." Mairu remarked, easily doing a somersault in the middle of the room. "Did being with Shizuo-san really change him that much? I wonder..."

Kururi shrugged before changing the subject. "After... recovery... (After Iza-nii's recovered) ...fun. (...it should be fun)."

"Oooh, yeah, I forgot about that~~! Poor Shizuo-san! He'll never get a peaceful moment once that happens!"

* * *

**Poor Shizuo-san indeed... ^^" well, reviews are greatly appreciated! :D**


	28. Seeing is Believing

**A/N: Holy crackers. I've left this thing hanging for almost 9 fat months. **

**But, well, there was the schoolwork on top of that, which hit and is still hitting my classmates and I like a solid brick wall this year. And there were other things.**

**Buuuuuuuuuut hopefully that's all behind me now (not the school work, there will ALWAYS be more work T_T) and I can get back to updating this story. A lot has happened to me in those 9 months so it might have affected my writing, but I still hope you enjoy this chapter. ^.^**

**Before uploading this chapter, I read your reviews and waaaaaasfdljadksf hjdsa;k despite those wonderful words you all gave me, all I can really say is to please accept my profuse apologies for this atrociously late chapter and that I appreciated every review from the bottom of my heart. ;_; Thank you**

* * *

Shizuo leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed awkwardly. "Mairu and Kururi are going to be devastated." He joked feebly as Kasuka folded his shirts. "You sure you don't need any help with that?"

"It's okay. And as for the girls, they are still sleeping, no?"

"Like logs..." Shizuo checked his watch. "At this hour, too... teenagers." He glanced up back at his brother. "Sorry for keeping you here so long." He mumbled out as Kasuka straightened up from the last of his packing.

Kasuka shook his head. "It's fine. After all, I haven't been able to stay with you like this for a long time."

Shizuo smiled sheepishly. "That's true... With your work, it can't be helped, right?"

"Right." His younger brother picked up his suitcase. There was a short silence between the two siblings before Kasuka gave a regretful shrug. "Well, the car's waiting."

Shizuo nodded and pushed himself out of the doorway, allowing Kasuka to pass. "Hey, Kasuka?"

"Yes?"

"...Er... I know that this hasn't exactly been the most nic- er, smoothest, um, most pleasant visit..." The blond began haltingly as he followed Kasuka through the living room. "But... you're still welcome to come back anytime, you know that, right?"

Kasuka paused abruptly, causing his older sibling to nearly stumble into him. "Wh-whoa-"

"Nii-san." Shizuo looked up to see a tiny, almost exasperated smile on Kasuka's face. "What makes you think I would not want to?"

"..."

"..."

"...uh-"

"Don't say it." Kasuka promptly interrupted, giving a small sigh. "Do not worry, Nii-san. You'll always be my older brother... no matter what... _experiences_ you undergo after Izaya-san recovers-"

Shizuo turned bright red. "W-WAIT WH-WH-WH-WHAT ARE YOU- E-EXPERIENCES-"

"So glad to hear that!" The said man called loudly over Shizuo's sputters.

"I-Izaya?" The blond turned his attention to the flea quickly. "Wh-why are you here? I mean... ...Wait a minute... HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET OVER HERE?"

"...it's called crutches, Shizu-chan..." Izaya said slowly, waving a crutch in the air as proof. "I can at least do that now. Anyway..." He turned toward Kasuka. "I heard Kasuka-kun was leaving..."

"...yes..."

"..."

Another elephant of awkwardness trudged around the room before Izaya cleared his throat and held out his hand warily, leaning his arm on his crutch. "Listen... I know that you and I hadn't gotten off at a good start... and we did end up becoming a little... competitive with each other... but I really am glad to have met you, Kasuka-kun. You're not a bad guy."

After a few tense seconds, Kasuka shook the informant's hand obligingly. "Neither are you. Despite everything that has... happened between us, I am grateful that my brother has found someone like you. Please continue to take care of him."

Izaya's eyes widened his mouth falling slightly open in surprise. "...Uh... y-yeah..." He nodded dumbly, returning his hand to his crutch.

Kasuka observed him quietly. "...considering your current physical state, I should actually say that my brother takes care of you. Oh well. Ah. Also..." The actor raised a threatening finger at Izaya. "Damage or humiliate him too much and I will not hesitate to put an end to it. Permanently..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Izaya smiled sweetly. "Shouldn't Kasuka-kun be leaving about now?"

"When he proposes," Kasuka said to Shizuo, "let me know. I'll send a sympathy card."

"Ahahahahahahahaha!" Izaya gave a very loud, forced laugh. "Oh, how funny Kasuka-kun is."

"..." Shizuo promptly face-palmed, knowing then and there that the peace between those two would... well, it just wouldn't exist.

...It could be worst, it could be worst, it could be worst.

* * *

Five minutes later, when Kasuka's limo had disappeared from in the afternoon traffic, the blond watched his boyfriend skipping crazily across the room singing _Love and Joy_ by Kimura Yuki for "no apparent reason" (according to Izaya).

Shizuo admitted he laughed rather wickedly when Izaya accidentally hit himself in the crotch with a crutch.

* * *

_Three hours later, in which the twins wake up (why they slept so long, no one really knows) and throw a rather spectacular tantrum at Kasuka's disappearance and accuse their brother of secretly murdering "Yuuhei" several times_

"What?" Shizuo blinked, scratching his head. "You guys are leaving too?"

"Of course!" Mairu hugged Shizuo tightly before letting go and skipping around him. "We love you a lot, Shizuo-san, but now that Yuuhei has gone, I don't think we can bear Iza-nii's attitude anymore..." She gave a small pout. "I can't believe Yuuhei didn't say goodbye to us! After all we've been through! And _he_ is actually happy about it!"

Behind her, Kururi wordlessly pointed a finger at Izaya, who was now singing the first opening of "Full Moon" at the top of his lungs.

Shizuo raised an eyebrow. "...so you're saying you're going to be leaving me alone with that... _thing_?"

"AII RABU YUU NO KOTOBA NARA IERUUUUUUU~~~~-"

The younger twin giggled. "Yes! Yes, we are! But you know that Iza-nii loves you to bits, and it's really cute!"

"I don't know about cute..." Shizuo muttered, watching Izaya wave his crutches wildly around the room. "...At this rate, he's going to break all the bones he hasn't already broken. Hey, Izaya? Your sisters are leaving! Izaya? IZAYA!"

Izaya paused, his expression delighted. "Oh, really? How wonderf- I-I mean," he hastily coughed. "Mairu, Kururi, al-already?"

"...nii... bad... actor..."

"Bleh!" Mairu stuck her tongue at him. "We should have known better than to expect a proper goodbye from you, Iza-nii! Shizuo-san, don't take _too_ good care of him! We'll miss YOU! ...but not Iza-nii. He can go get trampled by a giant two-headed lizard."

"And you say I lack empathy!" Izaya snorted, whacking his leg cast with his arm cast. "Has the puffer fish incident completely disappeared from your minds-"

"BYE SHIZUO-SAN! WE LOVE YOU~!" Mairu interrupted loudly, giving Shizuo another hug.

"Again... (We'll see you again)" Kururi added, bowing slightly before Mairu pulled her out of the door.

"H-hey wait are you sure you guys will be okay walking to the station alone-" _SLAM! _Shizuo blinked. "Ah. They're fast."

"No need to concern yourself so much." Izaya remarked nonchalantly. "They're my siblings, after all and NOW, THEY'RE GONE~~~~~!"

The blond eyed the injured informant. "Precisely what worries me."

* * *

_Several more hours later, after the twins' departure. Izaya's happiness is such that he has now resorted to singing about unicorns and fairies._

"OOOH I LOVE UNICORNS! EVEN THOUGH THEY PROBABLY POOP A LOT AND ARE A PAIN TO TAKE CAAAARE OFFFFFFFFF-"

"...flea..."

"BUT THAT DOES NOT MATTER ANY MORE BECAUSE UNICORNS ARE JUST SO BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE THEY DON'T EXISSSSSTTTTT-"'

"Flea!"

"AND THEY CHOPPED OFF THE FAIRIES' ARMS AND GOBBLED THEIR EGGS FOR DINNER-"

" FLEA!"

"...hm?"

"Can you at least TRY to be not so ecstatically happy?"

"Why, you're not?"

"...no. Not really." Shizuo ran a hand through his hair tiredly. "Please just... just stop singing. Okay?"

"But it's such a nice day!" Izaya protested, waving his crutch to the window. "With such joyous weather, how can you not feel like bursting out in song, Shizu-chan?"

"Flea, I think that puffer fish poisoned your brain, too. IT'S FUCKING RAINING!" Shizuo raged, his thumb jerking to the window. "...I hope Mairu and Kururi-chan didn't get caught it in..." He added worriedly.

"It is?" Izaya tilted his head. "...oh. It is. Well, who said storms can't be joyous weather? LALAHAHAHAAAAAAA!"

The blond pinched the bridge of his nose wearily. "Just _stop _singing! Please? I'll give you candy."

"You will?" Izaya perked up hopefully, then scowled in indignation. "...wait a minute, Shizu-chan, you're trying to bribe me like a three-year old! I am not a three year old!"

"Sure doesn't stop you from acting like one." Shizuo muttered grumpily.

"LALALALALALALALALALA-"

"SEE? EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN-"

"LALALALALALALALLALA LA... LAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"Izaya, seriously, cut it out!"

"LALALLALLALALA-"

"I... I'll give you otoro! ...you'll have to pay for it though..."

"LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"I'll give you a kiss!"

"LAAAA- hang on." The informant whipped his head back to Shizuo. "You'll give me what?"

"..." Realization dawning on him, the blond blushed furiously. "I... I... er..." Looking distractedly around the room for a solution, Shizuo found one. "A kiss!" He said hastily, practically pelting the informant with the chocolate that just happened to be on his table.

The foil-covered sweet bounced off of Izaya's shocked forehead. "EHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

"GOTCHA!" The blond yelled, hurriedly scooting away from his boyfriend.

"SHIZU-_CHAAAAAAAAAN_!" Izaya whined annoyingly, dragging himself closer to Shizuo. "THAT DOESN'T COUNT! HEY WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" The former bartender had actually gotten up and was fleeing the room.

"AWAY FROM YOU, YOU CRAZY NUT! AT THIS RATE, YOU'LL END UP RAPING ME!"

"DON'T YOU DARE RUN AWAY FROM ME, SHIZU-CHAN! FACE ME LIKE A UKE-"

"THE FUCK FLEA? THAT'S IT! I'M LOCKING YOU IN HERE!" Shizuo screamed, slamming the door shut behind him.

"You say you'll lock me in now, Shizu-chan, but come nightfall, you will fall to temptation, and, unresistingly, open the door, to me and the chocolate-"

"GRAAAAAAAAAAH!" The blond didn't know whether the yell resulted from a need to block out Izaya's words or his own frustration. "I'M BOLTING IT, IZAYA!"

"Oh calm down, Shizu-chan," Izaya called out, his voice wheedling. "I still have several broken limbs and a seriously deflated ego, how would I be able to rape y-"

"With that fucked-up mind of yours, you'll somehow end up forcing me into it psychologically!"

"Psh don't be ridiculous, I don't need to do that, you sleep with me of your own acc-"

"IZAYA!" Shizuo practically yelped, his face bright red.

"What?"

"Don't talk about that... that kind of shit so nonchalantly!"

"Awww, no need to be embarrassed my dear little Shizu-chan, it's only me-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Heehee it's so cute how Shizu-chan can get embarrassed so easily! Is this the same man who pulled me down to bed while his _brother_ was in the same house-"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WHY DO YOU BRING UP THAT TIME?"

"Haha see, you don't even try to deny it, Shi-OWWWWWWWWWWW!"

The sudden exclamation of pain made Shizuo pause. "...Izaya?" He called tentatively, wondering if the informant had accidentally whacked his leg (or arm) against something. "H-hey, Izaya, what happened?"

"Ah, just hit banged my arm." Izaya replied from the other side of the door. "No big deal-" He choked and suddenly cursed quietly. Nut sprigs! Why hadn't he exaggerated his pain so Shizuo would feel bad and come back into the room?

However, the mere mention of Izaya's pain set Shizuo into a panic. "Oh crap crap crap crap crap crap crap-" The blond frantically fumbled with the door, only to realize he had locked it. "CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP GAH IZAYA IZAYA IZAYA IZAYA!" Shizuo ended up opening the door with such force that he nearly crashed into the informant, knocking Izaya down. "AGH!"

"...ouch..."

"S-sorry, flea."

"Nah, nah, I'm still alive." Izaya reassured as Shizuo helped him up. "But _that_ should teach you never to leave a poor, sick, deprived man such as myself alone, Shizu-chan!" He added, giving his boyfriend a mischievous wink.

Shizuo sullenly averted his gaze as he handed Izaya back his crutch. "O... okay, maybe I was overreacting a little in locking myself in the next room..."

"..."

"...well, maybe I was overreacting a little in celebrating Kasuka-kun's and the twins' departure." Izaya admitted reluctantly. "It's not like I hate them..."

Shizuo scratched his head awkwardly. "Somehow, I'm a little sad. The house will seem so quiet now..."

The black-haired man chuckled, lifting his bandaged hand to Shizuo's face. "I'm too boring for you in this state?"

"A-ah-" The blond hastily covered Izaya's hand with his own, flustered. "N-no, I didn't mean that." His blush deepened and his fingers tightened slightly around the pale fingers. "I really didn't mean that... at all.

Carefully balancing on his crutches, Izaya leaned over and kissed the blond's cheek. "I know you didn't." He laughed quietly, but flinched as another throb of pain passed through his arm. "Ow."

Shizuo sighed and patted Izaya's head. "Poor flea. I think you suffered enough damage for one day. ...Or pretty much the last three days, come to think about it. How about you just rest now?"

"Oho?" Izaya raised an eyebrow as he hopped slowly across the room. "My tsundere wife is so soft now..."

"Oi, oi, there's a limit to how tsundere I can be when you're injured like that..." Shizuo muttered, letting go of Izaya's hand so he could maneuver the crutches properly.

"I'm not complaining!" Izaya chirped cheerfully. "I'll go ahead and rest if Shizu-chan'll make dinner for me~"

"Tch. Like you give me any choice, flea."

* * *

_The next morning..._

Shizuo woke up first, his body slightly sore after being kept in such a stiff position (Shizuo didn't want to end up hurting Izaya more in his sleep).

Turning on his side so he could see Izaya properly, the blond spent a few lazy minutes simply staring at Izaya's face, his fingers stroking the informant's cheek a couple times. Even though Shizuo would die before he would admit it out loud, Izaya was so cute sleeping, his arm stretched crookedly towards where Shizuo's head had been-

...wait a minute. Izaya's arm was broken. So... how could he have it in such a position?

His eyes swelled in disbelief, Shizuo warily poked Izaya's arm a couple times. When the flea did not wake up screaming in agony, the blond hastily shook Izaya's shoulder. "Izaya? Hey, Izaya!"

"Mmmm?" The informant opened one eye lazily, smiling when he saw Shizuo. "Hey, Shizu-chan..." He started to move his arm gingerly across the bed but suddenly stopped, his eyes immediately reflecting Shizuo's consternation.

"Wha..." Izaya jerked his head toward his arm and flexed it several times. "What the..." His mouth dropped open. "Huh?" He promptly flung back the bed covers with his new found strength, revealing bent legs that couldn't possibly be broken either. "Eh?" He cautiously lifted one leg.

Izaya slowly turned to Shizuo, his mouth still hanging open. "I... I can move again?"

"...uh." Was all Shizuo could say.

By some miracle, Izaya's broken bones had healed. The two men gawked at each other, seeing but not believing.

"How... the hell?"

* * *

**...yeah this chapter was just random crap. BLRAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH **

**Ah, and "nut sprigs"... I don't know where that came from, I was tearing my room down looking for something when those words popped out instead of the usual... ah well. Cookies for whoever makes the best guess about what caused Izaya's unexpected recovery! ^O^**


	29. Actually, it's

**So... this has already been a year since I updated. O_O I am so sorry. Life just happened. **

**But thank you for all of your reviews and support during my long absence! ^_^ They're like sparky bits of happiness dancing around in my inbox. **

**Warnings: A lot of... er, mature topics and just plain crackiness. **

**I do not own Durarara! Neither do I own "I don't want this kind of hero"... which was probably the main source of inspiration for the last part of this chapter... XD**

**Oh, and I almost forgot! No one actually guessed the real cause of Izaya's healing, but there were some pretty awesome suggestions XDDDDDD I'm sorry to disappoint you all with the real answer, but thanks for the creative and hilarious input!**

* * *

For a short while, the two lovers stared wordlessly at Izaya's hand until the informant sprang up in a panic. "Sh-Shizu-chan! I swear, I did NOT fake all of my injuries over the past few days! I swear!"

"Uh-"

"I mean, really, how was I supposed to fake an injury to the you-know-whats? You can ask Celty and Simon, they saw ALL of it-"

"Izaya-"

"And Shinra HAS the X-rays of all of my broken bones, he does, there's just no way-"

"Flea, hang on-"

"Besides, do you REALLY think I would have pretended to be immobile around you? Even though the whole nurse cap thing gave me a nosebleed-"

"Izaya!"

"-and I have to admit you dressing me and feeding me was pretty adorable, I would never, EVER trade that for the ability to grop-"

"WILL YOU CALM THE HELL DOWN ALREADY!?" Shizuo roared in frustration, grabbing Izaya's flailing hands. "I BELIEVE YOU DAMN IT!"

"YES, BELIEVE ME!" Izaya shouted back, his eyes bugging. "…wait, you believe me?"

The blond sighed wearily before releasing Izaya's hands. "Yes, I do, so just calm down for me. What we need to do is… is to go to Shinra's. Yes, Shinra's." Shizuo repeated, as if he himself needed reassuring. "We don't need to go nuts, there has to be _some_ sort of logical explanation for this-"

"Maybe it was from my intense desire to grope Shizu-chan properly?" Izaya muttered to himself, his face full of rather comical concentration. "Or was it just sleeping with Shizu-chan that healed me?"

"…"

"…"

"…oops. Did I say that out loud?"

Shizuo swiveled away from Izaya grumpily. "I guess it's true that pervertedness can make you into an idiot."

"Oh don't be silly Shizu-chan, that's love for you, loooooovveeee, heehee."

"…Just how drastic can your mood swings get? I bet it's because of hormones or something."

"...pffft hormones..."

"The hell, Izaya? Now is not the time to be making fun of everything! Now take the damn pajamas off and put on some decent clothes!"

"Oh gladly, Shizu-chan, I'll gladly take them off!"

"SHUT UP AND JUST COOPERATE!"

* * *

_A several arguments and a trip to Shinra's later..._

"Well…" Shinra pushed up his glasses, frowning quizzically. "I don't need any X-rays to tell that all of your fractured bones, Izaya, are definitely healed, an outcome that would totally be normal after a period of several weeks, but not several days."

Shizuo sighed impatiently. "Thanks for confirming the obvious, good to know that it's not just my imagination. Any explanation of _why_ the flea healed so damn fast? Did his twin sisters secretly give him some crazy supplement or something?"

_Or was he experimenting with drugs?_ Celty offered, the context of her message clearly suggesting a dry tone.

"Hey!" The informant gave an indignant squawk as he glanced at the characters on the electric screen. "Do I honestly _look_ like someone who would experiment with his own body?"

"…"

Celty paused before hastily typing out another message. _I'm not going to answer that._

"Celty, I think you just did…"

"Ah come on, if there was someone who experimented with drugs, it would no doubt have to be Shin-"

Shinra coughed loudly. "Sorry to interrupt, but to answer your question, Shizuo, I don't have a concrete answer. ...Though, I do have a plausible one…"

"Oh? Then let's hear it."

"Let me ask you a question first, Izaya." The doctor turned towards his former middle school classmate. "Do you feel like the healing of your bones happened in one night or do you recall experiencing lesser amounts of pain or immobility beforehand?"

Izaya tilted his head slightly in thought. "Hmmm… now that you mention it, I was feeling a lot better the other day…"

Shizuo raised his eyebrows. "You were?"

"Well, I just attributed it to Mairu and Kururi leaving… anyway, now that I've answered your question, what's your plausible answer to this, Shinra?"

"…well…" Shinra scratched his head. "You may not believe it, but… while I was contemplating the time span in which Izaya's bones healed, I couldn't help notice something strangely similar to…" The illegal doctor paused thoughtfully. "Shizuo, you probably wouldn't remember since it's happened to you so often but…"

"But?"

"But… isn't Izaya's rapid rate of healing practically identical to your rapid rate of healing in your childhood?" Shinra answered promptly.

"…huh?"

"Wait," Izaya interjected, "Are you saying I now have Shizu-chan's rapid rate of healing?"

"WAIT WHAT?"

Shinra waved his hands defensively. "I know, I know, it sounds a bit ludicrous but it's the only thing that really seems to make sense here."

"Only a bit?"

"THAT'S TOTALLY AWESOME!" Izaya cheered.

"THAT'S TOTALLY NOT AWESOME! EXPLAIN YOURSELF, SHINRA!" Shizuo roared impatiently.

_HOW would that happen? It doesn't seem possible!_

"A…actually for that… I have another possible explanation…" Shinra muttered, suddenly turning uncharacteristically awkward. "But… er… that… that is…"

"Just cut the crap already?"

"It's… it's not the most comfortable hypothesis to propose in this… in this type of situation…"

"What is it? Sex?" Izaya asked loudly, causing the other three to flinch.

"IZAYA!"

"What, Shiz-OW, hey, don't break my bone when it's _just_ healed-"

Before Izaya could finish the rest of his protest, Shinra muttered a few words indistinctively.

"-x."

"Hm?"

_Say that again, Shinra?_

"It was sex." Shinra moaned, thoroughly embarrassed. "I think Izaya's rapid rate of healing is a result from his intercourse with Shizuo."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Well…" Izaya attempted to grasp the right words to say. "…that is.. ah… ah. Damn. That really isn't the most comfortable hypothesis to propose in this situation."

"Y-you have got to be kidding me! What the hell is my healing power, an STD?" Shizuo stuttered, half-hiding his flushed face with his hand in the guise of face-palming. "That's just not possible!"

"I could be wrong." Shinra offered hastily. "I don't mean to dive into your private affairs, Shizuo, but… was Izaya your first?"

"H-ha?" Shizuo felt more heat rising in his face. "What- why- Wh-who would answer a question like that?"

_Not many would, but it's for Izaya's sake, Shizuo…_

"Shizu-chan, Celty's right." Izaya answered anxiously, placing his hand on Shizuo's. "Whatever the answer is, the past is the past and, well, that won't change how I feel about you."

"…" Shizuo couldn't look at Izaya, instead opting to completely hide his face with his other hand.

"Sh-Shizuo?'

"…Izaya…"

"…"

"… Izaya was my first."

"…F-first man or-"

"I SAID... he was my first."

"Oh." Shinra fidgeted with his lab coat collar. "In-in that case, the hypothesis still stands.

Izaya burst into laughter. "Bwahahahaha! All of that hesitation, Shizu-chan, because you were embarrassed? And here I was plotting to murder everyone who dared to ravish you-"

Shizuo gawked at his boyfriend in a mixture of humiliation and disbelief. "You were WHAT?"

Izaya continued as if Shizuo hadn't spoken. "But in the end, it was me who deflowered you! How adorable-"

"Q-QUIT TALKING ABOUT THIS SORT OF SHIT WHEN WE'RE WITH OTHERS! And hey quit trying to pull me in your lap, I'm serious here!" Shizuo whirled back to face Shinra, who had turned awkwardly away, "Oi, Shinra! What does this mean then? Will Izaya have my strength too or what?"

Shinra was trying and failing to placate the blond. "I can see why you're in a panic, Shizuo, I know Izaya already has a lot of control, but really, I think your being dominated allows you to let to go of some stress every once in a-"

"That's NOT what I'm panicking about, damn it! I want to know…" Shizuo gritted his teeth as he simultaneously fought the urge to strangle the doctor while trying to twist out of Izaya's arms. "Will-will Izaya be okay?"

The said man blinked in surprise. "Eh?"

"I mean... will this make him die or something?"

"What?"

"Ah…" Shinra quickly adjusted his glasses to hide his own startled look, "well, it would seem that such a change to a normal person's physiology would not come without consequences however… Izaya is anything but a normal person…" Shinra shrugged. "I'd say he's pretty flexible."

"Flexible you say…" The informant stretched both of his arms, a satisfying action he hadn't been able to carry out in a while. "In that case, thank you for your diagnosis, doctor, it was quite enlightening and informative. I shall monitor my health carefully for any abnormalities or other possible causes of concern, and until something of the like appears, I will simply treat this as an extremely convenient ability. Do me a favor, the two of you, and keep this quiet-" Izaya paused in midsentence. "Wait, where did Celty go?"

Shizuo glanced around, realizing the dullahan had vanished. "Strange, I didn't notice her go out of the room…"

"Ah… she kind of ran out when Izaya started talking about killing all of Shizuo's non-existent-ex-lovers."

"…can't say I blame her…"

"…"

* * *

"I still don't get how that works," Shizuo groaned as he and Izaya left Shinra's. "You bang me and then you get my 'super-healing powers'? I didn't even know I had super-healing powers! This shit is so messed up…"

Izaya raised an eyebrow. "Hang on, what is that supposed to mean, you didn't know? Surely you noticed that you recovered faster than other people, right?"

Shizuo shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, I developed a really high pain tolerance when I was young, so I never really pay that much attention to any wounds I get…"

"…Then, Shizu-chan, why did you complain so much about the pain when we had s-"

"Gah! I-I meant to say MOST wounds I get!"

The black-haired man grinned maliciously. "Were you just faking the pain so I would take care of you? That's too cute, Shizu-chan-"

"I WAS NOT FAKING IT! _THAT_ KIND OF PAIN WAS ON A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL-"

"Ahahaha, was I really that _rough_, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo's face was scarlet with embarrassment. "S-shut up! Y-you know I didn't mean it in that way!"

Izaya was trying hard to control his laughter. "Oho, so Shizu-chan just meant that he is sensitive in that spot?"

"Wh-who WOULDN'T be sensitive in that spot? A-anyway, stop talking about those kind of things in public you flea!"

"But Shizu-chan is the one who was shouting at the top of his voice…" Izaya teased, his hand reaching down for Shizuo's and intertwining their fingers.

Shizuo huffed irritably but didn't pull away his hand. "And who was it that was making me shout so l- WAIT WAIT NO, NO, THAT SOUNDS TOO WRONG- GRAAAAAAH!"

Snickering quietly, Izaya squeezed the blond's hand. "There's no shame in admitting I make you scream, Shizu-chan-"

"Izaya, right now we're in PUBLIC!" Shizuo hissed through gritted teeth. "People are starting to stare at us!"

The informant rolled his eyes carelessly. "Only the fujoshis and the like. But if that's the case…" His mouth hovered near the blond's ear. "Shizu-chan is fine with anything as long as it isn't in public?"

"N-no! I am NOT fine with anything, public or private!"

Izaya sighed. "Tsk, such a demanding lover…"

"M-me, demanding? Says you!"

"Aww, stop pouting like that Shizu-chan! It'll make me want to-"

"I am NOT pouting! I'm _frowning_ you horny flea!"

"Yes, yes…"

Shizuo continued to silently _frown_ for the rest of the journey home, until they returned to Izaya's apartment. Izaya had just closed the door, reveling in the fact that he now _could_ close a door, when Shizuo spoke again.

"Hey, flea…"

"Mmmmmm?" Izaya rested his chin on Shizuo's shoulder, turning slightly so his lips brushed against the blond's face. "What?"

Shizuo glanced at the informant. "Are you really okay with this?"

"What on earth are you talking about, Shizu-chan, of COURSE I'm _more_ than okay with being able to touch you again-"

"I'm being serious here!" Shizuo snapped, his eyes narrowing in frustration. "Your body… your body might become like mine… because you're being with me. You can't be serious when you tell me you're not concerned about that."

Izaya's red eyes blinked open, all the playfulness gone from them as they met the hazel glare steadily. "…I am serious. If it'll make me closer to you, Shizu-chan, I don't mind it one bit. I am obsessed with you, after all."

Shizuo closed his eyes exasperatedly. "Izaya… if you really have researched everything on me, then you must know what happened in my past. Of what I did when I was a child, when I was a teenager, when I just got out of high school… I'm… I'm not proud of it." His right fist suddenly clenched. "Of both my past and my strength."

Izaya stared seriously at Shizuo for a moment, then reached down, his pale fingers landing on the tight fist. "I know you aren't proud of it. I knew it for a long time. Because you're actually a very gentle person, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo chuckled weakly. "Gentle? Me? Izaya, I would crush a butterfly just by looking at it-"

Izaya's fingers tightened their grip, wordlessly relaying the message.

"…I see." The fist slowly loosened itself.

"Hey, Shizu-chan…" Izaya said softly as their fingers began to intertwine once again, "am I also gentle?"

"…If you mean in bed, not really."

"Hah! Now look who's-"

"You're gentle where it counts." The blond hurriedly interrupted, causing Izaya to blink in surprise. "You're... you're very gentle, flea. It's… it's… goddamn it, it's why I like you."

"…"

"…"

Shizuo felt himself blushing to his ears. "S-say something Izaya, this is getting awkward!"

"Ah." Izaya blinked again before hugging the blond tightly. "My adorable tsundere wife! I can't get enough of you!"

"ARGH! I thought I told you to stop calling me that, bastard!"

"Sorry, Shizu-chan! You're just really cute!"

"Oh, shut up." Shizuo muttered half-heartedly as Izaya rubbed his cheek against the blond's. "Mmm… we should have more moments like these, Shizu-chan. Don't worry about me becoming more like you." Izaya's fingers reached to stroke his cheek. "We're so alike already, you just don't realize it."

Shizuo looked back at him, his face free of wariness and distrust. "…then, tell me how we're alike."

"Eh?"

"You don't have to tell me right away," Shizuo reassured, smiling as he reached to hold Izaya's hand to his cheek. "But if that's the case, then I want to know more about you, flea. Because you're important to me."

Izaya glanced at Shizuo for several seconds, then cocked his head hopefully. "…does that mean we both share the same stalker-like personalities?"

"…I should have known you wouldn't be able to keep up the serious atmosphere for more than five minutes."

* * *

_Thanks for nabbing that guy for me, Shizuo_ , Celty typed as the two of them stood in an alley, both of their jobs finished for the afternoon.

"No problem." Shizuo lit his first cigarette of the day and inhaled deeply. "Turns out, he was pretty deep in debt anyway."

Celty didn't type anything, and Shizuo leaned against the alley wall comfortably until he had the strange sensation the dullhan would have been staring at him if she had eyes. "...something wrong?"

"..." Celty pulled out her phone again. _I could ask you the same thing. Why do you seem so worried? Shinra said Izaya would be okay._

Shizuo crinkled his eyebrows in annoyance. "Jeez... have I gotten that easy to read?"

_Not exactly... I just really know you well! _

"...It's... it's not like I'm worried about that..." Shizuo confessed, crossing his arms. "It's just... few people can get close to me without getting close to trouble as well. And... I'm worried about burdening Izaya with..." He clenched his fist. "With this."

Celty tilted her helmet. _If anything, I think Izaya should be worried about that sort of thing._

Shizuo nodded silently. He knew Izaya wasn't exactly your average salaryman. But... "To me, it... it doesn't matter how much trouble Izaya gets himself into on his own... I just don't want him into getting trouble because of me. To be honest, I'm really happy that we're getting closer, but at the same time, I get so afraid. Celty, you can understand, can't you?"

There was a long pause. _I can. But isn't that how a lot of people feel about relationships?_

"Haha, probably..." Shizuo brought his cigarette to his mouth again. "Gah, on a lighter note, sometimes I wish he wouldn't be so perverted... I just can't _not_ be all mad at him, you know?"

_Yeah, I can DEFINITELY understand that too... _

"Now that he's got all of his casts gone, he'll be all over me again... n-not th-that's a bad thing, b-but-"

_...maybe... you can try not to react too much?_

"Not overreact? NOT OVERREACT? When he's going to be so perverted!? It'll be impossible, Celty! Look at me! I'm overreacting when told not to overreact!"

"..." _I don't think Izaya really minds you being tsundere..._

"..."

"...maybe that's true..." Shizuo's troubled musings were interrupted by a cheerful shout.

"Shizuo-san! Shizuo-san!" Both bodyguard and dullhan turned to see a little girl running towards Shizuo. She was wearing a bright green dress, with short twin pigtails adorning her brownish black head. "Shizuo-san!" On the last exclamation, she leapt up and latched onto the blond's neck. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!"

Much to Celty's surprise, Shizuo laughed, dropped his cigarette, and put an arm around her waist, steadying her as he swung her around a few times. "Haha, you're full of energy as always, Kioko! Where's your parents?"

"Over there!" Kioka replied in a bright, unconcerned manner, pointing in a random direction. "Shizuo-san! You remember your promise from the other day, right? Right?"

Shizuo smiled good-naturedly. "How can I ever forget? I remember, I'll be there tomorrow, I promise! Now, be the good little girl I know, go back to your parents before your mom starts tearing down the nearest building looking for you."

"Okay~ Thank you, Shizuo-san!" Apparently satisfied, the child let herself be gently put down and skipped away, pausing every once in a while to wave back at Shizuo.

The blond happily looked after her for several seconds before sheepishly turning to answer Celty's questioning aura. "...my neighbors' daughter. Once I managed to persuade her to return home when she ran away and she's been glued to me ever since. It's not like I interact with her often outside of our neighborhood, though, so I feel it's safe to be around her."

_Haha, I figured you were the type to be good with kids. What was the promise you made to her?_

"...Erm, that's a little..." Still sheepish, Shizuo smiled, holding a finger to his lips. "Secret..."

"..." _Fine, fine. As long as you're not cheating on Izaya or anything... she seemed quite fond of you..._

"OI! I'm old enough to be her father, you know! Hey! Celty!? Are you actually trying to run away!? Get the hell back here!"

* * *

_Meanwhile, in another alley long long after, far far away..._

_Crash!_ The trashcan lid smacked resoundingly into the brick wall, the sound startling a nearby mouse in the alley.

As it scurried away, a gang member lowered his foot, spitting on the ground scornfully. "Damn that Orihara bastard! Thanks to him, we nearly ended up getting wiped out… again!"

A soft "tsk" came from the darkest shadows of the alley. "Haruka-kun, while I sympathize with your feelings of anger, kicking around trash cans is merely a needless waste of energy and a distracting disturbance."

"Yeah, yeah, say what you want, boss! Still doesn't change the fact that we'll still keep getting screwed over by that son of the bitch!"

"Actually, we only got screwed over by him once. The rest was just him thwarting your attempts at vengance." The shadowed person straightened up, his clothing rustling quietly. "Though, I must admit, his invincibility is quite annoying. Perhaps it's finally time to take serious action."

"Oh?" His crony shot him a dubious look. "What makes you think you can actually get him?"

"Because, my dear little scatterbrain, contrary to popular belief, he is a human, and he has weaknesses. It's just a matter of when his weaknesses show." The man replied silkily, his fingers toying with a torn photograph. "Now that I have my hands on this delightful piece of information, your need for revenge can be swiftly satisfied."

"Um... well, that's great and everything, but Boss?"

"Hm?"

"…Isn't it a little hard to see the photograph there in the dark?"

"Actually, it is. I can't see it at all. But I need to remain in the shadows. It's a crucial component of the _effect_, Haruka-kun. Would you mind telling me what's on the photograph so I can cackle in evil laughter?"

"…Boss, permission to slap you across the face?"

"...Permission denied. Now hurry up and just tell me what's on this photograph already."

"All right, all right... wait... Boss, th-that's..."

"_What_?" There was now a clear note of irritation in the leader's voice.

"...that looks like yaoi... damn, that's pretty hot-"

"It is INFORMATION! That is all! Now, kindly do me a favor and _tell_ me, what is on this damn photo?"

"A picture of the Orihara bastard and his bitch?"

"The correct description, Haruka-kun, would be _gay lover_, NOT a female dog."_  
_

"Whatever."

"Hmph."

"...what were we talking about again?"

"...Oh, confound it, you made me completely lose track of what I was talking about..." The mysterious man sighed before tapping a slender finger against the photograph. "From the information you have given me, I can infer that _this_, " he gave the photograph another tap, "Is a photograph of Orihara Izaya and his lover, Heiwajima Shizuo. In other words... Orihara Izaya, and his _weakness_."

"... but Heiwajima Shizuo is anything BUT weak. You should know that more than anyone, Boss!"

"My dear Haruka-kun, does anything I say actually _stay_ between your ears for more than a couple of seconds? As I said before, Heiwajima Shizuo may possess an insane amount of strength, but just like Orihara Izaya, he is also human, also contrary to popular belief, if I may digress, and he also has his own weaknesses! I also know that more than anyone."

"If you're talking about kidnapping Heiwajima Kasuka-"

"I am _not_, don't go rushing to conclusions! We posses not the resources nor the manpower to carry out that sort of ridiculous stunt! What I am aiming to do is much simpler... and more effective. Now..." Suddenly, another photo flashed out. "Tell me what's on this photograph too so I can continue to evilly laugh."_  
_

"..."

"..."

"...hey Boss?"

"WHAT NOW?"

"Erm... I don't mean ta burst your bubble, but did you _really_ need that first photo? ...on second thought, isn't that actually an illustrated drawing, rather than a real photograph?"

"...Shut up. It was necessary for the _effect_, Haruka-kun, the _effect_."

"Whatever..."

_To be continued..._

* * *

**...Review if you're happy?**


	30. It's not that difficult, really!

**I'm so sorry, everyone. I told myself I was going to get this done... I told myself I was going to finish it in time now... and then I met the internet. ^_^""**

**Please enjoy~**

* * *

Izaya gaped at Shizuo, his expression slowly changing from one of shock to one of betrayal. "I... I thought you loved me the most, Shizu-chan..."

"You've... you've got it wrong, Izaya..." The blond nervously averted his gaze, unable to look his lover in the eye. "Th-this... this is..."

"E-explain to me... what are you doing?"

"...y-you don't understand this, Izaya! Ch-Choko is different from you! She... she actually respects my personal space!"

"But... yo-you love it when I invade your personal space!" The fur-coated man sputtered helplessly, reaching towards Shizuo. "I know you better than a hundred- no, a thousand times better than this-this... this 'Choko'-san ever would! For you to have this kind of relationship with someone else... I won't forgive it! I won't allow it! J-just how long has this been going on?"

"You..." Shizuo gritted his teeth, still not meeting Izaya's eyes. "Wouldn't you already know that, with your amazing stalker abilities?"

"W-why... why are you being so mean and cruel to me? That's it!" Izaya cross his arms angrily. "Take your pick, Shizu-chan, your beloved '_Choko_'-san... or me."

Shizuo finally turned to met Izaya's eyes, and...

"Okay. Let's go, my beloved Choko!" He said amiably to the serene black and white cat on his shoulder, who happily rumbled her approval. "Your mommy already gave me your food, snacks, and toys, so you're all set to crash at my place the next couple of days! And Izaya won't be around, so you'll have me all to yourse-"

"NO, _NO_, **NO**!" Izaya screeched in panic, flapping his arms like a maniac for several seconds before practically crashing into Shizuo. "YOU WILL NOT **LEAVE** ME!"

"OW! What the hell, flea! You could have hurt Choko!" Shizuo cried, tearing himself away from his boyfriend and shielding the feline protectively.

It had been several days since Izaya's miraculous recovery. Much to the informant's unhappiness, however, Namie celebrated his recovery by presenting him with several mountains of work. He had finally managed to get his work under control the other day, but right now...

"I can't believe Shizu-chan is prioritizing a CAT over me! A CAT!" Izaya wailed, flinging himself on the ground dramatically.

Shizuo's first instinct was to yell at Izaya and kick him into his apartment. He was actually getting ready to lift his leg, when...

No. He must be calm... he must not give into the tsundere/tsukkomi temptation... he must remember Celty's advice on how to not overreact... wait, did she really even give him any specific advice? Oh well.

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Get off the ground, you're an embarrassment to humanity. For fuck's sake, flea, all I did was agree to cat-sit Choko for a couple of days! And this isn't even the first time I've looked after her! Like I said before, you should _know_ that already!"

Izaya ignored Shizuo, starting to roll across the ground in a depressed manner. "It would have been one thing if the cat was a male and had black fur and red eyes and the name Izaya but THIS cat is a female and has black and white fur and yellow eyes and the name Choko! What kind of name is that, 'Choko'! She's not even brown! And if she were, her name should be 'Unko' instead!" ("Unko" means poop in Japanese.)

"...o-okay..." Shizuo put a hand to his face, taking a deep breath before talking. "First of all, who the hell would have a cat like that? Second of all, Choko does not have black and white fur! If you look carefully, she actually has dark brown and white fur. Third of all, Izaya, your jealously is starting to really freak me out. ...Actually, knowing you, you'll probably freak me out for the rest of my life, but that's not the point! Anyway, get a grip or I won't let you in my house today!"

"WHAT? You'll let that THING in the house but no me? How harsh can you get, Shizu-chan!"

"Well, with you rolling all around on the ground, Choko's probably a lot cleaner than you're soon going to be." Shizuo remarked dryly. Hey, this was a lot easier then he had thought ...though mostly because Izaya was acting like a kid, not a pervert.

Izaya actually stopped rolling on the ground after Shizuo's comment, but remained sitting with a pouty expression.

Shizuo tried not to roll his eyes again. "How you can be so dependable and so childish is beyond me... ...well, come on, Izaya! Let's stop attracting unneeded attention and go into my apartment already!"

"Don't wanna." The informant mumbled, glaring at the sky.

"..." Shizuo groaned in exasperation before gently nudging Choko. Taking the cue, the cat nimbly leapt down from her lofty perch and trotted silently into his apartment. "Give me a couple minutes, Choko, I'll get you something to eat." He then turned towards his sulking boyfriend.

"...Izaya..."

"I'm not going! Forget it! With that THING around, you won't allow me to do anything! You'll get mad if I try to touch you, you'll be too busy playing with it to give me the time of the day, and sex will be totally out of the question!"

"..." Shizuo groaned again. "Oi. Please tell me sex isn't the only reason why you came here today."

"Wha-" Izaya quit his glaring at the sun and whipped his head to Shizuo. "You KNOW it isn't the only reason why I came here today!"

"..."

"But... it's... it's been a while..." Izaya muttered sheepishly. "I am a healthy young man... and I know Shizu-chan is too... and wait, aren't you uncomfortable talking about these kinds of things in public?"

"If I get mad at every inappropriate thing you do, it'll deplete my energy. And _that_ is saying something." Shizuo sighed, kneeling down next to Izaya. "You're not serious about not wanting to see me today, are you? I really missed you too, you know..."

"..." Izaya's eyes widened slightly but he still looked a little sullen. "If Shizu-chan really missed me, he wouldn't have agreed to take Choko!"

"Sorry, honey, her owner's a really sweet little girl, so telling her no wasn't an option."

"AH! Shizu-chan's actually a loli-con!"

"You're overreacting, you big idiot. Anyway, you can do anything you want to me with Choko around."

"I am _not_ overreacting, it's Shizu-chan who-" Izaya paused. "Wait... WHAT? REALLY? REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY?"

"...precisely what I mean by overreacting." Shizuo grumbled, standing up slowly. And to think he was the overreacting one! "I still have to feed her and give her attention and what not, but you can cuddle with me all you want while I'm taking care of her, as long as it doesn't majorly hinder what I'm doing."

Izaya slowly rose as well, his eyes gleaming in anticipation but still wary. "It... it sounds too good to be true! What's with that sudden change of rules? And what about sex?"

"Well, one, Choko is a cat, not a human, and two, she's about thirty years old in cat years and had kittens twice, so we don't have to worry about ruining her innocence-"

"But what about SEX? Sex is supposed to be a beautiful, _private_ thing between people who love each other!"

Shizuo snorted scornfully. "Screw that, you're just jealous of someone else seeing me naked. Even if they're a _cat_."

"You can't blame me!"

"Hell yeah, I can. Anyway, Izaya..." Shizuo suddenly bumped their foreheads together, smiling widely at his boyfriend. "Haven't you ever heard of 'cat naps'?"

"..." Izaya gave Shizuo a rare questioning look. "You're acting... differently from normal." He suddenly grinned with his usual touch of wickedness. "I like it!"

"...good to know. Now are you coming in or not? Choko's waiting for her snack- OOF! F-FLEA! HEY, PUT ME DOWN!" Shizuo half-yelped as Izaya suddenly hoisted him up in an amazing display of strength.

"Shizu-chan said I can do anything to him~! ANYTHING!"

"Doesn't mean you can just go and carry me like a sack of potatoes! STOP IT!"

"Oh yes it does! MUAHAHAHAHA!"

"ARGH! THAT'S IT! I GIVE UP ON BEING PATIENT WITH YOU!"

"That's fine~! I love your tsundere side too!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAH!"

* * *

_Several minutes later..._

"...I thought you said she was thirty years old in cat years..." Izaya grumbled as Shizuo shook a large feather at Choko, who began stealthily creeping forward. "Isn't she too old for games?"

"She's a _cat_, Izaya, there's some games cats never get too old for." The blond replied, shifting his position on the couch so Choko could easily reach the feather. "Isn't that right, Choko? Besides, aren't _you_ too old to be throwing tantrums in public?"

Izaya scoffed, glaring at Choko as she agilely jumped up to paw curiously at the feather. "I was not throwing a tantrum; I was having a perfectly reasonable protest."

"Yeah right... by the way, not that I'm complaining, but what happened to all of your perverted energy, flea?"

The informant waved a tired hand, lying backwards to rest his head in Shizuo's lap. "Forget it... right now, I just want to rest with my tsundere wife. So please pamper me and ignore 'Unko" there."

"Hey, hey!" Shizuo warned, lightly rapping Izaya's forehead with his free hand. "Don't make me banish you from the couch. I'm sure you and Choko would get along fine if you actually gave her a chance. She hasn't scratched you or hissed at you or anything..."

After another few seconds of batting the feather, the cat tired of the game and jumped lightly onto the couch, all ready to take a nap on Shizuo's lap but-

"Uh-oh."

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Unfortunately, that space was already occupied.

Choko flew up to Shizuo's shoulder, clearly startled by Izaya's outburst. "Wh-whoa! Izaya, calm down! You scared her!"

"How can you defend that thing, Shizu-chan? Its claw stabbed my eye! My EYE! It hurt the person you loved, how are you not boiling over with anger for my sake?"

"Uh..." Shizuo lightly skimmed Izaya's face with his fingers. "...because you seem fine? Come on, flea, it was an accident." Balancing on Shizuo's shoulder, Choko leaned down and reached for Izaya's face with a curious paw.

Izaya glowered at her dangerously. "Look at her, Shizu-chan! You can just tell she's trying to get me off her lap!"

Shizuo was trying hard not to laugh. "Then get your head off my lap if it bothers you so much." While Izaya sputtered in protest, the blond simply stroked the informant's hair.

"..."

"...You know..."

"What?" Izaya asked, his eyes still warily following Choko's paw.

"I know you'll totally take this the wrong way, but... you kind of remind me of a cat."

"I remind you of a WHAT?"

"Like I said before, don't take it the wrong way! It's just... like the way you move around. You're both kind of stealthy and swift and cute."

"...you think I'm cute?"

"..." Shizuo shrugged awkwardly, trying not to disturb Choko's perch. "Well, in like a-little-kid-way? Plus, you have fluffy hair."

"...I'm going to ignore the fluffy hair comment... but does that mean... Shizu-chan secretly likes my tantrums?"

"Hah!" Shizuo chuckled, threading his fingers through Izaya's hair. "So they were tantrums, you admitted it."

"I did not!"

"You did."

"Ugh, I did, didn't I..." Izaya groaned, closing his eyes. "My god, I'm so out of it today. Oi," he said, finally looking up at Shizuo and motioning with his fingers. "Come down."

"..." Shizuo felt himself flush slightly in anticipation before slowly leaning down. Izaya reached up with a limp hand to touch the blond's cheek and bring him closer.

"Purrft!" As if sensing the atmosphere between the two men, Choko once more leapt down from Shizuo's shoulder and stalked off to her nearby bed.

"Ah... w-wait, Choko, that's not it- MRF!" The rest of Shizuo's sentence was cut off when Izaya kissed him.

"Hmm..." Izaya murmured between their kisses. "Maybe that feline isn't so bad after all..."

"Really... You have... such... distorted... perception..."

* * *

_The next day..._

"..." Namie regarded Izaya warily. "...You... you seem... happy..."

"You make it sound like I have horns growing from my head. My happiness never seems to make you happy." Izaya remarked, spinning once on his chair before clicking his computer mouse.

"That's because it usually signals doom." His secretary shot back irritably, shuffling a pile of papers. "By the way... someone sent you this."

"Hm?" Izaya blinked, swiveling around. Namie simply extended a plain envelope towards him. "If I were you, I wouldn't think too much of it, except..."

"Except what?"

Namie paused for several seconds. "...well, it's probably nothing the likes of you would worry about, but I just feel that this... this should be taken a little more _seriously_ than others."

The black-haired man chuckled, taking the letter in an unconcerned manner. "I don't know whether to be offended by your ideas about my attitude towards work or flattered that you may actually be worried for my sake."

"Don't be ridiculous. It's not you I'm worried about, it's-"

"Yes, yes, it's your paycheck, I know." Izaya replied nonchalantly, flipping the envelope open. "You have no trouble reminding me every single time-"

The former doctor gritted her teeth in frustration. "That's not what I meant! I meant... ah, forget it!" She hurriedly turned back to her paperwork. "I don't care!"

"Eh?"

"Just shut up!"

"Is it that time of the month already-"

"JUST. SHUT. UP."

"..."

"...Huuuuh..."

* * *

"I... don't understand women." Izaya muttered darkly as he once again laid across Shizuo's couch, his arm thrown across his forehead.

"...what is this, a therapy session?" Shizuo commented from his place next to the couch, stroking Choko's fur as he shook out some fish-shaped snacks into his palm. "Well, just for your information, I don't understand you."

"So true. No one understands me!" The informant sighed dramatically, closing his eyes. "I feel so alone in the world!"

The blond laughed as he held out a snack to Choko. "Poor you... here, come feed Choko a snack. It'll make you feel better."

"..." Izaya just gave Shizuo a look.

"...that just now was I-can't-believe-you-I'm-suffering-from-overwork-an d-an-unjust-employee-right-now-and-you're-suggesti ng-I-should-feed-a-cat-when-you-should-be-offering -me-hugs-and-kisses-and -sex-face?"

"Yes. Yes, it was. Shizu-chan actually knows me quite well."

"And you say no one understands you..." Shizuo teased, pushing the last snack into Izaya's reluctant palm.

"You said it first..." Yawning, Izaya sat up, stretched, and turned slowly towards Choko. "Here. Take it and slash or leave so Shizu-chan and I can do stuff together."

"That's a horrible way to offer a treat!"

At first, Choko seemed to agree with Shizuo and stared warily at Izaya for several moments. But, in a slow and deliberate manner, she gently walked up to the informant before daintily taking the snack from Izaya's fingers.

"..."

"Yay..." Shizuo said wearily, clapping his hands in mock celebration. "Congratulations, Orihara-san, you have taken a great step in curing your ailurophobia! Now to work on your unusually high libido-"

"Hm." Acting as if he hadn't heard Shizuo's words, Izaya rubbed his fingers together thoughtfully. "Her tongue felt rough."

"...er... that's kind of how all cat tongues feel, Izaya." Shizuo scooted closer to Izaya's head, his face hopeful. "So how was it? Do you now feel better towards Choko?"

"...Her tongue really did feel like sandpaper..." Izaya mused to himself, ignoring Shizuo's questions. "..." He turned to Shizuo. "It makes me want to feel your tongue. Now that I fed the cat, can we make out now? Pleeeassse?"

"..." Well, at least Izaya was now referring to Choko as "the cat" instead of "the thing". Speaking of Choko, was she already walking out of the room?

"...You must be really worn-out, huh..." Shizuo observed before letting Izaya tilt his chin.

"Mhm." Izaya replied before shoving his tongue past Shizuo's lips and tangling his hands in blond hair. After several breathless, tongue-tied minutes, the black-haired man finally pulled away and moved to Shizuo's collarbone.

"Ah..." Shizuo closed his eyes, then quickly opened his right one. "H-hey, Izaya, not where people can see now!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know..." Izaya muttered, pressing another kiss to Shizuo's chest, wrapping his arms around the blond's torso. "...hey, Shizu-chan?"

"Wh-what?" Shizuo asked, his breathing speeding up as Izaya started to unbutton his shirt. "...can you keep talking? I want to keep listening to your voice."

"O... okay? That... that isn't weird at all..."

Izaya lifted his head and tried to give Shizuo his best puppy-eyed-stare.

"D-don't look at me like that..." Shizuo mumbled, blushing as he placed his hands behind Izaya's shoulder blades. "I-I'll talk, I guess, it's just... wh-what do you want me to talk about?"

"...about... anything..." Izaya slid his tongue across Shizuo's collarbone. "Like... me getting upset with Choko... did that... really make you mad? You weren't acting as you usually did..."

"N... no! It's not like that... ah..." Shizuo groaned softly, sinking his face into Izaya's hair. "I just... wanted... not to stop overreacting... so much... thought... you might find it a... a little tiring... if I did it all the time..."

"..." Izaya smiled against Shizuo's chest, his arms now tracing circles on the bare skin. "I don't mind it. I call you my tsundere wife, don't I?"

"Y-you..." Shizuo blushed harder and sighed. "We... we both kind of have our own insecurities, don't we? I would have never guessed you actually worried about being too... difficult."

"Yeah..." Izaya tightened his grip on Shizuo's waist. "...if... if you ever want to ask me something then just tell me instead of holding it in and bottling it up. Okay?"

"Haha, you know me, flea. I really don't hold back when I don't like something."

"...I know, but..." Izaya raised his head to look Shizuo in the eyes. "...sometimes, Shizuo, you're fragile."

"...if you're talking about that ONE time when I got drunk-"

"That's not what I meant... I meant..." Izaya's hand wandered over Shizuo's chest. "Ah... no..." Almost absentmindedly, he paused in mid-sentence and brought Shizuo down into another kiss.

* * *

"It's rare for you to come see me." Shinra remarked, pouring Shizuo a cup of coffee. "Not that I mind, though. Usually it's Celty you come for advice."

"...don't read too much into it." Shizuo muttered, petting Choko with his free hand. "Choko just needed a change of scene and you're one of the few people I know who wouldn't mind getting cat fur in their home."

Not seeming put off at all by his childhood friend's dismissal, Shinra set Shizuo's coffee in front of him and then sat down across the table. "You've always liked cats, haven't you?"

"I guess... well, they don't seem to mind me that much."

"That's because you're pretty quiet when you're not screaming in rage. ...Though..." Shinra took a sip from his own cup of coffee. "Izaya's been infuriating you so often, you've rarely been quiet these days..."

"..." Shizuo touched the rim of his coffee cup with his free hand but made no move to drink it. "...Shinra... I wanted to ask you..." He glanced up warily. "...a-and... I want a _serious_ answer here..."

"Hm?" Shinra tilted his head innocently.

The blond felt himself flush slightly. "...w-why... why did you ever think that Izaya and I would be a good couple?"

"..."

"..."

"...didn't you already ask me that question-"

"JUST ANSWER!"

"..." Shinra drank from his coffee again and sighed. "...well, to be completely, at the time, I thought of how you both would be less... well, for lack of a better word, less destructive if you both had someone else to, well, counter each other's temperament."

Shizuo stared at him blankly. "...huh?"

"Well... correct me if I'm wrong..." Shinra began a little nervously, "but I think you guys have both improved as people since you've gotten together. Izaya actually _cares_ about someone, for one, and you haven't had one of your explosions since a while."

"...g-geez..." Shizuo averted his gaze, not sure how to respond, "I... I didn't know we actually counted as people."

Shinra smiled. "The last time I checked, I'm _pretty_ sure you were human... but Shizuo, I really am not joking about... this... this improvement because you and Izaya!"

"..." Shizuo sighed. "I can see your point, Shinra, but, well, sometimes I feel like there's a side of him that I don't know well- WAIT, no, that's not what I came here to talk to you about, that's only for Celty to hear!"

"WHAT?" The illegal doctor wilted in disappointment. "How come you're giving Celty special treatment? I've known you longer!"

"...Actually, that's precisely why I prefer Celty over you."

"You never change." Shinra leaned back on his seat. "But what did you really come here to talk about? Information about Izaya? You probably can just ask him himself, you know..."

"I... I know that..." Shizuo mumbled sheepishly. "I... I just wish I knew more about him without asking. Shinra, you've known him since middle school..."

"Oh dear, here it comes!" Shinra gasped in mock panic. "What should I do?"

"...hey!" Shizuo said grumpily.

"Sorry, it's just hard to take you too seriously when you have a cat sleeping next to you." Choko had indeed nodded off long ago. Shizuo simply rolled his eyes again. "What I was _trying_ to ask was... Has he ever had any weak moments?"

"..." Shinra looked at him for several awkward moments before taking yet another sip of coffee.

"..."

"...Shinra!"

"Sorry, just needed the suspense to make my next line sound cool. Anyway..." Shinra put his coffee back on the table. "So, Izaya showed you his weak side and you felt awkward since it felt so different from his usual self."

"What the hell? How were you able to figure that out so accurately?"

"Because I wear glasses. Just joking, it's pretty easy to tell knowing the both of you. _But_, Shizuo, you need to realize that there's nothing to worry about!" Shinra exclaimed, spreading his arms for emphasis. "Izaya is opening up to you! Like he has been since he met you! You two are simply taking another step forward and becoming closer in your relationship!"

"...I think that's what is bothering me." Shizuo looked down. "I've never been in this kind of relationship before!"

"And neither has Izaya." Shinra finally finished his coffee. "But you two will work out any kinks or problems in your relationship. It's simply the way you two are. Everyone has insecurities but it'll always work out, you know. I mean..." He placed a hand on his own chest. "Look at me. For the majority of my life, all I do has mainly been for the sake of one, er, individual. If she leaves me, then, well, I will literally become nothing."

The doctor stood up to take his coffee cup to the sink. "It's rather sad to think about, so I don't dwell on it. Instead, we should be HAPPY! Don't you agree?"

"...happy?"

"Indeed." Shinra grinned cheekily at Shizuo as he adjusted glasses. "It shouldn't be such a hard task for you if you have Izaya, right?"

Choko was now making light snores against Shizuo's leg. Smiling at the feline, Shizuo closed his eyes. "Yeah... I don't think I would have too much trouble with that."

* * *

**Thank you everyone for your reviews and support! ^.^ You guys are the best!**


	31. Basic Biology

**A/N: Hello everyone! =) Hope you're all having your summer fun! ****As always, my summer vacation's disappearing faster than green tea ice cream on a hot sidewalk ^^"**

**Anyway, thanks for all the reviews and favorites and what not! Enjoy the chapter! X)**

* * *

Shizuo was making his way back to his apartment when he spotted a man leaning against a nearby lamp post.

"Hm?" Blinking, he slowed his pace, slightly wary. It was rare for anyone to be at his apartment except for Izaya, and this man wasn't wearing the informant's signature fur coat...

Choko, riding on Shizuo's shoulder, sensed his tension and stiffened as well, her eyes narrowing to green slits.

What was a rather strange-looking person like that doing here? He didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the neighborhood...

Shizuo grew more confused and more worried as he got closer. There was no one among Shizuo's neighbors who could be that man... and he didn't seem to be anyone's relative, either...

The bodyguard felt himself getting edgy. Was this person... spying on him or something? He definitely didn't want anyone fishy knowing about his private life... how he was fond of Kioko... or his relationship with Izaya- ...wait, didn't everyone already know about that? Never mind... "..."

Shizuo sighed quietly and shook his head. All of this stress must be really getting to him. Maybe he was being too paranoid. Maybe it would be better to just walk by and completely ignore him.

Making sure Choko was on his shoulder that was farther from the man, Shizuo exhaled briefly, clenched his fist, and then began walking forward in a nonchalant manner.

The mysterious man remained silent as Shizuo passed him, and the blond was getting ready to sigh in relief, to mentally scold himself for being a paranoid fool, when the man suddenly spoke.

"Oi. Are you really going to just ignore me like that?"

The bodyguard's eyes widened, pausing in mid-step.

He heard a soft chuckle behind him. "Just where do you think you're going, Heiwajima-kun?"

"..." After a short silence, Shizuo suddenly whipped his head around. "You!" He yelled, his eyebrows raising in disbelief. "What the hell are you doing!?"

Clad in a green hoodie, Izaya simply raised an eyebrow at his sputtering boyfriend. "I was patiently waiting to see my significant other. What else would I be doing?"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The blond groaned, clapping his hands to his forehead in frustration and startling Choko. "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT THIS!"

"H-huh?" Izaya took a wary step towards Shizuo, slightly confused. "What's wrong, Shizu-chan? You haven't screamed with that much frustration since my wooing of you..."

Shizuo simply let his hands fall limply, his embarrassment clear on his face. "I totally didn't recognize you without your fur coat and thought you were some shady yakuza bastard stalking me... oh my god... I was ready for you to suddenly throw a knife at my back or something..."

Izaya's jaw dropped. "EH? You thought _what_? ...w-well, it is true that I wear that coat a lot, but still, do I really look like such a suspicious person? I'm wearing _green_!"

"Well, it's kind of a dark green!" Shizuo shot back defensively. "And at this hour without any light, it looks a lot like black! And all suspicious people wear black!"

"But I was by a lamp post, for heaven's sake!"

Shizuo gritted his teeth. "Well, I _wasn't_ by the lamp post! Why didn't you call me saying that you were waiting for me?"

Izaya turned away, his eyes narrowing irritably. "I thought you'd usually be home at this hour."

"Then why didn't you break into my house and wait there with your stalker/pervert ways!?"

"Because I didn't want to make you too mad! And apparently, it didn't work!"

"Izaya-"

"Where were you?"

"A-ah... well, Choko was feeling restless, so I brought her to Shinra's for a bit."

"Shinra's?"

"Y-yeah..." Not wanting Izaya to pry any further, Shizuo quickly changed the subject. "A-anyway, why the heck are you not wearing your fur coat? You're _never_ without it! Did your secretary set it on fire or something?"

Izaya shrugged nonchalantly. "Can't a man change his clothing?"

"Yeah, but it's a little weird..." Shizuo said suspiciously, not really satisfied with Izaya's answer. Or, rather, his question as an answer. "Don't you love that coat?"

The informant frowned. "Jeez, just because you have a never-ending supply of bartender suits doesn't mean everyone else has an unending supplies of their own outfits..."

"Hey! Don't make fun of the clothing Kasuka gave me!"

"Kasuka-kun again..."

Shizuo pricked at Izaya's tone. "Izaya, he's my only brother! And sibling, for that matter. I don't understand why you two can't get along..."

Izaya rolled his eyes. "How you can get along with my two siblings is beyond me..."

"Why... why are you so cranky?" Shizuo asked incredulously. "You're usually not like this! What happened?"

"What?" Izaya barked. "I can't be cranky at times because you're the mad one in our relationship?"

Shizuo stared at his unhappy boyfriend blankly, then realized... he was feeling happy. Why on earth was Shizuo feeling happy? Shouldn't he start to feel upset since he and Izaya were arguing? They were arguing, weren't they? Oh well, he was crazy anyway.

"OMF!" The informant wheezed in sudden surprise when Shizuo suddenly hugged him tightly. Izaya's eyes bulged in confusion. "Sh-Shizu-chan?"

The blond pulled his head back and rubbed his cheek against Izaya's, grinning happily. "No! The answer to your question before... it's no! You can be cranky as much as you want, and we can be two cranky crows together!" Shizuo replied happily.

Izaya felt himself twitch at the blond's unexpected _cuteness_, his momentary anger quickly fading. "...uh... did Shinra do something to you when you were there?"

"No! Not really. Sort of. I don't think so. It probably won't make a difference." Shizuo pressed his forehead against Izaya's. "But, I am glad that you feel free to get cranky and angry at me. _Not_ because I'm a masochist, but because I can see more sides of you I didn't know before. And call me crazy or corny or whatever, but that still makes me glad."

The blond hugged the slightly shocked informant again. "Sorry..."

"..." Izaya stared blankly before closing his eyes and giving a weary laugh. "Jeez. How can I stay mad at you when you say such things with that face..." He embraced Shizuo back with one arm while the other stroked the blond's hair. "You really are so unpredictable..."

"...but really," Shizuo began, his voice slightly muffled against Izaya's shoulder. "Why green all of a sudden?"

Izaya laughed again, this time, sounding a bit more like himself. "You don't like it?"

"Th-that's not what I meant..."

"Well, I felt our relationship was getting to the point where it was time I introduce the 'Izaya-without-the-furcoat'."

"...I'm honored..." Shizuo muttered sarcastically.

"You should be." Izaya teased before leaning down to give Shizuo's exposed neck a quick bite.

"YEEK! F-flea?!"

Izaya began to suck the skin he had bitten before happily continuing. "Since the 'Izaya-without-the-furcoat' is clearly different than the 'Izaya-with-the-furcoat', it is necessary that the 'Izaya-without-the-furcoat' is introduced to Shizu-chan... very... _throughly_..."

"...y-you..." Trying to hide his embarrassment, Shizuo lightly punched Izaya's side. "Get inside and we can do the 'introduction'!"

"OW! That's not how you treat your 'first' time with 'Izaya-without-the-furcoat', Shizu-chan!"

"Oh be quiet! Will it even make a difference in the end?!"

Izaya opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by a loud mew from Choko, who was sitting impatiently in front of the apartment door.

"..."

"...it scares me how indifferent that thing acts..."

"She's a _cat_, Izaya!" Shizuo exclaimed for the second time.

"...and I guess that's fine as long as it allows us to have sex while she's in the house..." Izaya mused to himself before suddenly sweeping Shizuo up like a sack of... pudding?

"HEY! IZAYA!"

"Muahahahahahaha!" The informant ran in the house manically, Choko quickly following him before he could shut the door on her.

"MUST you act like that before we do you-know-what, you crazy flea!?"

"YES! YES, I MUST! AND YOU KNOW THAT YOU LOVE MY CRAZY HORNY SIDE!"

"You don't have any sense of shame at all, do you!?"

"Shizu-chan knows me the best~!"

"You're nuts!"

"I love you too~!"

* * *

..._Later..._

"...hey..." Izaya began as Shizuo began buttoning up his shirt, "...Sorry."

"Hm?" The blond tilted his head curiously before blushing. "Ah... n-no, it-it wasn't that painful or anything this time-"

"No, that's not what I meant." Still shirtless, Izaya shifted to lean his head on Shizuo's shoulder. "The time before, when we were arguing outside your house. Sorry. I think I was getting jealous because you were at Shinra's."

"...Uh... Izaya... that... if you're implying that there's something between Shinra and me that's anything more than old friends." The blond face-palmed. "No. Just... NO. YUCK. EEWWW. NEVER."

"WHAT- no! I'm not talking about that! I know that! I do!" His boyfriend quickly said, his face reddening a little. "I... I just feel myself sometimes getting jealous of other people getting your attention..."

"..."

"...yander-"

"NO. No... I'm just... a bit... possessive... that's all..."

"..."

"...if you say so..."

"..." Izaya sighed against Shizuo's neck. "Hey, Shizu-chan-"

"No, you may _not_ give me a hickey there." Shizuo said sharply. "The first one you gave me is already on an exposed spot... maybe I should just put a bandage there or something..."

"Oh come on, everyone knows that we're doing it-"

"Don't make me kick you."

"...Fine. Can I squeeze your butt then?"

Shizuo gave Izaya the incredulous look that appeared quite frequently when dealing with his lover. "You... Are you asking for a beating?"

"Is that a yes?"

"No, it's a shut-up-and-just-don't-say-anything-especially-sin ce-we-just-had-good-sex."

"...so in other words it's an as-long-as-you're-not-saying-anything-you-can-grop e-me-all-you-want?"

"..."

"..." Blushing, Shizuo averted his gaze determinedly. "...No, it is not."

"...which means it's yes~!" With a sudden burst of energy, Izaya pulled Shizuo into his lap, pinching his butt.

"O-OI! Will you be a bit more s-"

"Haha, I'm just kidding, calm down..." Izaya placed his arms around Shizuo innocently. "..."

"..."

"..."

"...um... what is with this awkward silence?" Shizuo questioned nervously.

"..."

"...er, this probably isn't the best time to say it, but, I just wanted you to know..."

"What?"

"...I lied."

"...huh?" Shizuo's expression started out as puzzled then slowly darkened in trepidation. "You lied... about... _WHAT_ exactly?"

"..." This time, it was Izaya who averted his gaze. "...about... why I was wearing that green jacket. It wasn't just on a whim. It was because..." His crimson eyes locked on Shizuo's again, and the blond was taken aback at how serious they were. "...I think... someone is after me right now."

"...w-when you say 'after me', you mean like a stalker or-"

"Someone who wants me either dead or beaten up." Izaya corrected, a cheerful grin on his face.

Shizuo gazed back calmly at his grinning boyfriend for a full two seconds, then completely lost it.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? YOU HAVE SOMEONE AFTER YOUR HEAD!?"

"Shi-Shizu-chan, it's not as bad as you think, this isn't the first t-"

"OH, AND THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?"

"I didn't-"

"WHY THE HELL DID WE HAVE SEX INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE POLICE!?"

"That's-"

"GODDAMN IT, IZAYA, THIS IS REALLY FUCKING BAD! WE NEED TO GO TO THE POLICE! OR CELTY'S! OR BOTH! NOW! PUT YOUR SHIRT ON!" The blond stood up only to be pulled down by Izaya. "Shizu-chan! Just calm down and listen!"

"BUT..."Shizuo trailed off, not knowing how to react when the other was acting so unconcerned. "But this is a big deal!"

"It is not." Izaya deadpanned. "Shizu-chan, there's someone who tries to harm you practically every day. It's the same with me. You probably know from my attitude and from what I do I piss a lot of people off. They try to kill me. I don't die. It's just that this time, I have you and it's actually a little worrying that they might come after you instead."

"...s-so... so you want to hide our relationship?" Shizuo asked, feeling himself gradually calm down.

Izaya shook his head. "No, I think it's a little too late for that... I just don't want to be explicitly seen with you all the time. It'll be like adding fuel to the fire."

Shizuo paused thoughtfully. "...hmm... I... I see... but..." He fiddled with his hands nervously. "It... it's still a little concerning to me..."

"I know..." Izaya smiled gently and covered Shizuo's hand in his own. "...sorry. If I was the really cool boyfriend, then I would pretend not to love you anymore and distance myself from you for the sake of protecting you from harm, but I'm too selfish to do that." Leaning forward, he gave Shizuo a soft kiss. "Forgive me~"

"...that's fine, if you're selfish, I guess." Shizuo murmured back against Izaya's lips. "We're supposedly human, after all."

"Supposedly..." Izaya chuckled, leaning his head against his lover's. "Don't worry about it too much, okay? I'll take care of it soon enough."

"Yeah." Shizuo smiled back at him. "I trust you."

Izaya moved to kiss him again when...

"Meowwww..."

"Ah, Choko's outside-" Shizuo pulled himself away and began to get up.

"Ehhhhhh..." Izaya pouted, following Shizuo off the bed. "Do you _have_ to go? Maybe she's just fine, you know..."

"She probably just needs a snack, Izaya..." Shizuo replied, opening the door and kneeling down to scratch Choko behind her ears. The cat rumbled happily and pressed herself firmly against Shizuo's leg.

Still looking sour, Izaya latched onto Shizuo from behind, resting his chin on the junction between the blond's neck and shoulder as he glared at Choko. "If you keep giving her snacks, she will become fat, you know..."

"Oi, flea, don't grab onto me like that, you're making it difficult for me to pet Choko..."

"No, I'm asserting my dominance over you." Izaya stuck his tongue out at the cat, a triumphant smirk on his face.

"...do what you want... " Shizuo relented and started going to the kitchen, his pace slow and awkward with his boyfriend clinging onto him. "...Really, flea, how long are you going to keep this up?"

Izaya simply tightened his grip. "FOREVER~! ...come on, Shizuo, it's not like I'm really that heavy with you, am I?"

"No, but it's a little hindering..." The blond managed to finally retrieve Choko's snack box with Izaya's arms still wrapped around him. Catching the food's scent, Choko eagerly leapt up onto the table, her tail curling in anticipation.

Izaya scowled at her. "Greedy thing, isn't she?"

"Don't be such a hypocrite." Shizuo chided, rubbing Choko's head affectionately. "Jeez, Izaya, if you act like this way to a pet, how are you going to act if you have a kid!?"

"..." The black-haired man looked surprised for a second, then gave Shizuo a wide, mischievous grin. "Kid, huh?"

"W-wait..." Realizing what he had just asked, the blond hastily tried to backpedal. "N-no, that's not what I meant, i-it's not like I-I assumed you were going to have a kid, I just was making a-"

Still grinning, Izaya turned slightly to lick the edge of Shizuo's ear. "Let's make one..."

"...NO."

"Hmm, if we ask Shinra, maybe he can find a way-"

"STOP ASKING FOR SOMETHING THAT WOULD DEFY BASIC BIOLOGY!" Shizuo's bare foot came crashing down on Izaya's with a rather painful crunching sound.

"OW!" Groaning in pain, Izaya rested his head against Shizuo's neck. "Ohhhh... the things a man needs to put up with for love..."

"Oh please..." Shizuo huffed before turning slightly serious. "...Izaya... does it really not bother you?"

"Huh?"

"W-well, the fact that we can never have a child and what not."

"Passing on my lineage has never been at the top of my priorities." Izaya replied, his hold tightening slightly. "So, no, it doesn't bother me. To be honest, I've never even thought about that kind of stuff. Does it bother you?"

"N-no, but I just-"

"Is Shizu-chan the one that likes children? You did seem partial to the little girl who wanted you to look after that cat-"

"S-she's just really cute, that's all! B-besides, it really doesn't matter wh-what sex you are!"

"You're too adorable, Shizu-chan! We can always adopt a child if Shizu-chan wants~! Or, if you really want, we could always go to Shinra too-"

"IZAYA!"

Choko put an end to anymore of Izaya's taunts by mewing for more snacks. "Ah, no, Choko, you had enough to eat tonight. I don't want you to actually get fat."

Slightly disappointed but understanding, the feline wound herself around Shizuo's resting arm, purring happily.

"Haha, now she's sucking up!" Izaya cackled, suddenly delighted in this misbehavior of his self-proclaimed enemy. His laughter stopped abruptly when Choko unexpectedly stepped up to him and rubbed her head against his chin. "...ah?"

Seeing the informant's rare gawking face, Shizuo couldn't help but laugh. "Hahaha! I think she's grown fond of you, flea! Why don't you go and return the good gesture!"

Izaya quickly pulled his head away. "Don't be ridiculous! She's stepping down to try to suck up to even me! How low can one get!"

"You're so cruel! Are you really going to act like this to her from the end? What if I want to get a cat in the future?"

"..." Izaya pouted again. "Then, we can get the cat together. And it has to have black fur and red eyes."

Shizuo sighed in frustration. "Do _not_ tell me its name needs to be Izaya. That would be too much confusion for me."

"Then, its name could be Izayaya!"

"Pfft! You're unbelievable!" Shizuo leaned his head against Izaya's. "Your foot seems to be fine now..."

"Hmph!" Izaya closed his eyes firmly. "It was fine until I was reminded of it just now! Shizu-chan needs to kneel and kiss it or it'll shrivel and fall off."

"Really now..." Shizuo swiveled his head slightly so he could kiss Izaya's cheek. "Sounds awful, but I still don't want to kiss your feet."

Smiling, Izaya leaned over to kiss Shizuo. "Well... even though it's in the wrong place, I'll still accept it." His hands traveled to unbutton Shizuo's shirt.

"H-hey, we're in the kitchen right now, I don't know-"

Izaya kissed Shizuo's chin as he gently guided Shizuo's arms out of the white sleeves. "No, I want to take just this off. Hang on a minute..."

"E-eh?" Slightly dazed, Shizuo tried to wipe his mouth when Izaya turned him around so they were now facing each other. "What are you-"

To the blond's surprise, Izaya pulled his green jacket out (where he had been keeping that thing, Shizuo had no idea), and pulled it on Shizuo. "H-huh?"

Izaya finished putting it on and hugged Shizuo close. "Mmm! I like Shizu-chan wearing my clothes!"

"...right..." Shizuo would rather put on the pink bunny suit again than admit, at that moment, he liked wearing Izaya's clothes. "As long as you don't want me doing anything kinky or take any photos of this, it's fine." He muttered, blushing as he hugged his boyfriend back.

"Haha, what if the photos were _private_?"

"...more reasonable but still, no. You already have the real me. It should be enough." Shizuo touched Izaya's cheek and whispered. "Hey, flea, I want to you know..."

"Hm?" Izaya leaned his head forward. "What is it?"

"It's a secret..." Shizuo said quietly, "but..." he winked. "I think part of me likes your possessiveness!"

"..."

"..."

"...uh, Izaya?"

"...BEDROOM. NOW. CHOKO..." With an amazing show of strength, he suddenly swept Shizuo up. "CAN WAIT! FOREVER!"

"Ahaha!" Shizuo cried victoriously as he was carried in the bedroom. "You said her name! Now that's progress!"

Those words ended up being the last coherent sentences he spoke that night.

* * *

_Somewhere in some dark alley..._

"...well, I expected _slightly_ better results than this... You're telling me that _none_ of you bothered following Heiwajima _or_ Orihara-san around!?"

"B-boss, you've gotta give us some slack! Those guys aren't easy to spy on without being noticed by them! A-and..."

"...and?"

"And... well... to be honest, none of us wants to see two guys getting it on. Especially since-"

"I don't want to hear it! What a horrible and lame excuse, Horoda-kun! Just because you don't _want_ to, you won't do it? Do you think good kids eat their vegetables because they _want_ to? Do you think high school students go through exam hell because they _want_ to? Do you think I have you as my lackeys because I _want_ you to be my lackeys? Of course not! Learn from my example!"

"...that... was kind of harsh, Boss."

"I don't care! Out of all of you, I suffered the most severely when Orihara so unjustly wronged us."

"D-don't say that, Boss! We all suffered terribly!"

"...actually, it is kind of true..."

"Exactly. But, that is okay. I had a feeling it would turn out like this, so I already had another plan." The man's well-kept shoes began to leisurely walk in front of a limp form. Pausing and leaning forward, a hand reached to grab a girl's chin with long fingers.

She opened her eyes immediately, her breathing quick and frightened.

Despite being half-obscured in darkness, a wide smile could be still be clearly seen on the leader's face. "Terribly sorry to bother you like this, miss. We'll let you go with good compensation later."

The girl, still in her teens with light brown twin hair braids, just kept watching him, her expression unchanging. But, her eyesight slowly adjusted to the lighting of the alley, she gasped audibly, pulling away in fear.

"Hahaha, no need to be afraid, no need to be afraid, my dear. But first, be a darling girl and tell me... just what is Heiwajima Shizuo's ultimate weakness?"

She quickly turned her head, her braids bouncing as her eyes narrowed determinedly. "I-I won't ever tell you! Heiwajima Shizuo... Heiwajima Shizuo... Heiwajima Shizuo is my ultimate obsesssion! I won't ever betray him to the-to the likes of you!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"P-positive!" The girl squeaked, still scared, but stubborn. "N-no matter what you do!"

"Hmmm... I wouldn't be so sure about that..." The leader turned towards some figures dawdling towards the back of the alley. "Hey, you, come here- NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! NOT YOU! The other one, the guy that's on your right! Only the better-looking guys get to do this sort of stuff!"

"Y-you're not... NO!" Her eyes widening in realization and horror, the girl let out a small scream, drawing her knees to her chest in a vain attempt to protect herself. "Pl-please... not... don't! Anything but that!"

"Please... you're making us sound like murderers. We'll be making you feel good soon... unless you give us some very _valuable_ information-"

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA STOP!"

_Psssssh!_

A spatter of blood soon stained the alley wall.

* * *

**...I realize it's really unclear what they did, so I'll try to clarify here... Basically they captured an obsessive Shizuo-fan (Chapter 11) and acted out hot yaoi scenes to make her spill all her Shizuo-info. Izaya will not be pleased XD **

**Wow, I must have still been on post-exam-high when I wrote this... sorry about that. ^^" ah, and just as a heads up, the chapters will start rolling out QUICKLY from now on~! :D That's because I'm FINALLY thinking of ending this fic, about time, I know. XD Anyway, until next time!**


	32. Really Now

**A/N: Hey there guys... so, as promised, here is the new chapter. =) Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

It was morning when Izaya left the apartment. "Ah..." The informant stretched his arms and strolled into the sunlight, the brightness lightening up his dark smirk. "What a nice day it is to be outside! Now, how shall I go about corrupting society?"

"Please don't, I think it's already been corrupted quite enough..." His boyfriend murmured darkly, leaning against his doorway.

"Hmmm, you never know!" Skipping around brightly, the flea seemed to have little sparkles floating around him once more.

Shizuo spent several moments wondering just why he liked the idiotic, skipping person so much and then decided to not care. "Hey, flea!" He called across the street. "Are you coming over tonight?"

Izaya whirled around to smile at Shizuo. "If you want me to~!"

The blond sighed before grinning back resignedly. "Then, come o- ...flea... why are you looking at the lamp post like that?"

"Hm? Oh, because it is a very important symbol of our relationship!" Izaya chirped back, spinning again. "Shizu-chan doesn't remember?"

"What the hell are you talking about..." Shizuo broke off in mid-sentence as realization hit him. "...oh, wait, didn't I _throw_ that lamp post at you while you were stalking me?"

"Precisely!" Izaya didn't even try to deny having stalked Shizuo.

The blond groaned again. "Dang, I forgot about that... I wonder just how much taxpayer money that cost..."

"Don't worry, Shizu-chan~! I'll earn enough to provide for you and our children~"

"..."

"..."

"..."

Shizuo suddenly shuddered in horror. "OH LORD, DON'T EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!"

"Huh? Why not~?" Izaya pouted. "Shizu-chan doesn't want to have my children?"

"Li-like I said before, quit it with that creepy talk!" Shizuo shouted back, one of his hands clenching his hair in unease. "It was because when you were saying that, I had the scariest mental image of your future child growing up to turn out like you and going around stalking people while you gave him or her tips on stalking!"

"Ahahaha! Wouldn't that be wonderful!"

"It would NOT be wonderful!"

"You're too adorable!"

"Who the hell says stuff like that!?"

"ME!" Izaya skipped back to the doorway to kiss Shizuo's forehead, then pulled away to look at him in the eyes. "Shizu-chan... about what I said last night... don't worry too much about it, okay?" He whispered, resting their foreheads together. "But if anything happens, let me know. You know I'll protect you no matter what."

"..." Shizuo averted his gaze, blushing. "You don't know how glad I am that you said that in a normal tone..."

"Ahaha!" Laughing once more, Izaya ran back out into the street, waved to Shizuo, and soon disappeared among the alleyways.

Shizuo remained in the doorway for several minutes before Choko interrupted his daze when she rubbed against his leg. "Ah..." Reaching down, he scooped her up, cuddling her fondly. "I nearly forgot, Choko! Kioko will be back soon! Let's get ready for you to go home!"

"Prrrrrrr..."

* * *

_At Izaya's office..._

It seemed like any ordinary day, with the exception of Izaya being a little later than usual.

"Good morning~!"

"...I want to believe that having a relationship can improve even _your_ twisted personality, but..." Namie tapped her paperwork, shooting Izaya a stern look. "I hope you don't make a habit of being even later than you usually are..."

Smiling slyly, the informant shook his head. "Nah, we're pretty fast at it, if you'd believe me. The actual reason why I'm late is because I needed a quick change of clothes, that's all..." He plucked at his fur coat for emphasis.

"...That was a _little_ too much information there..." With that being said, Namie continued to work and Izaya sat at his desk and started to dial on his phone.

* * *

_As for Shizuo..._

The blond bodyguard was on his way to Kioko's house, with Choko on his shoulder and her leftover snacks and what not in a bag carried by his left hand.

Shizuo was in a good mood that morning, talking to Choko every once in a while. "Your mommy's probably going to be really happy to see you! She's been gone for a long time, huh... I bet she can't wait to see you..." He scratched Choko's chin playfully but suddenly paused, instinctively turning around.

"Sorry about that, but I think she'll have to wait a bit..." A bunch of gangsters were approaching them, wearing the usual smirks and annoying grins.

"...can I help you?" Shizuo said abruptly, his tough face back on, trying his best to radiate a what-the-hell-do-you-punks-want-I-don't-have-time- for-this-aura.

What appeared to be their leader, a shady, orange-haired teen, slouched forward, his eyes glinting triumphantly. "Heiwajima Shizuo! I bet you thought you messed me up bad that last time, but now's the day you'll pay for every fucking bit of pain you dared put me through!"

"Huh?"

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

At Izaya's office, everything seemed normal until...

"You did... _what_?" Izaya suddenly barked, straightening up in his chair as he pressed his hand to his forehead in frustration. "So, in the end, that happened after all..."

Namie peered cautiously from her desk. It was rare to see Izaya to show such a serious display of agitation...

"THAT'S your excuse!? Oh please..."

Teeming with curiosity, the secretary quickly darted her gaze back to her paper work as the informant roughly stood up, snapped his phone shut, and pulled on his fur coat.

"...going out?" Namie attempted to question in a casual manner.

"Yep." Izaya replied grimly. "I hoped things wouldn't come to this, but looks like it has. Namie! If, for some reason, Shizu-chan comes here, let me know. At _once_."

"Of... course..." Namie said slowly, feeling a little unnerved at how serious the informant was behaving. "I-I suppose it wouldn't do me much good to ask what is wrong-"

"No, it wouldn't." Her employer cut her off curtly. "Anyway, remember what I said. If any suspicious guys come here looking to beat me up, annihilate them with your frying pan. That's all."

With that, Izaya set out, walking at brisk pace and leaving behind a very confused secretary.

"My... frying pan!? What!? Wh-who does he think I am, his personal bodyguard now!?"

* * *

_And back to Shizuo..._

There was a short silence as Shizuo simply stared at the group of delinquents.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...O-oi, say something already..." Someone whispered quietly.

"..." Shizuo tilted his head in genuine confusion. "Er... Do I... know you?"

"HAH!?" The teen jerked back, obviously not expecting this reaction. "YOU _FORGOT_ WHO I WAS? YOU DARE-"

"H-Horoda, c-calm down, this guy beats up a lot of people on a daily basis-"

As they attempted to calm the angry man down, Shizuo rolled his eyes in pure annoyance and jerked his shoulder slightly so Choko would jump off. "Listen, you guys..." He started, setting the bag down and bringing his hands together in calm manner. "If you just want me to beat you up, then let's get this over with. If not, then, please, fuck off. I have better things to do than this..."

"A-ah, no!" Horoda quickly recovered from his raging and once again triumphantly snickered at Shizuo. "This time is completely different! This time... we have your weakness! Heiwajima Shizuo, get your ass moving and come with us if you ever want to see your cute little neighbor again!"

"..." His expression unchanging, Shizuo merely lifted his head up, his eyes not leaving the delinquents. Then they instantly narrowed. "...Huh?" The blond questioned in his dangerous tone, waves of bloodlust already radiating from his body.

_CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!_

_Exactly three seconds later..._

"Heiwajima-aniki! Please, allow us to escort you to our evil leader, the true perpetuator behind all of this mess so you can beat him to a pulp and then do the same to us!"

Still scowling, Shizuo crossed his arms uncompromisingly. "And just how the hell do you expect me to believe you?" Inside, though, he was a mess. Cute little neighbor... that could only be Kioko...

Shit... if something happened to Kioko because of him... Shizuo wouldn't ever be able to forgive himself...

"A-ah, that's..." One of the trembling delinquents pulled out a cell phone. "Th-the boss said to take a picture in case you didn't believe us..."

"Hm?" Shizuo took the phone cautiously. His eyes widened in horror.

_CRACK!_

The phone promptly snapped into pieces in his grasp, causing, sadly enough, some of the delinquents to squeak in fear.

"I... don't believe you..." Shizuo growled slowly, letting the ruined shards of technology fall from his palm. Oh god... there was no mistake, that was her, that was her... "People can make up any kind of shit with that damn photoshop these days! If you're doing this just to piss me off..." Oh please please please no don't let it be Kioko-

"A-ah, that's..." Another one of the trembling delinquents pointed to Shizuo's cell phone. "Th-the boss said to check your phone in case you still didn't believe us..."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow. "My phone?" No sooner had he reached for his pocket did his own cell start vibrating. Feeling a strong sense of dread once he saw the id, Shizuo opened it cautiously. "Hello?"

"Heiwajima-kun!" The blond's eyes widened once again at the frantic tone of Kioko's mother. "I-I'm so sorry about this, but, but... Kioko has disappeared! Is it possible that she returned home?"

"Eh-" Shizuo jerked his head towards Horoda and the rest of the delinquents, the former beginning to sneer again.

Kioko's mother continued on obliviously. "We were in the subway and her hand slipped from mine for just a moment, I turned around immediately, you know how that child is, and she was gone! Would you have any idea of where she would be!?"

Shizuo's grip on the phone tightened so much that some of the delinquents feared he would crush his own device as well. "I..." The blond swallowed and started to lie, his eyes not leaving Horoda and his gang. "Yeah. I actually ran into Kioko not too long ago. I was worried to see her without both of you and when I heard that she had ran away again, I started scolding her. She got mad at me and ran off before I could catch her, but I know she didn't run that far."

"Oh..." Shizuo felt a pang of guilt at her mother's sigh of obvious relief. "Thank goodness. If it's you, Heiwajima-kun, she'll forgive you right away... I'm so sorry to keep troubling you with that impossible child, oh dear..."

"Don't worry, I'll find her soon." Shizuo reassured her, trying to keep his tone light. "I'll call you again once I do. Yes..." With that, he pressed the end button and closed his phone silently.

"..."

Horoda, having regained some of his confidence, laughed obnoxiously. "Haha, now you believe us, don't you, you bas-AARRGGGGHHHH!" The delinquent screamed in horror as a scythe went whistling past his neck.

Shizuo looked up in surprise to see Celty, half-dismounted from her motorcycle, in the middle of a nearby alley. She held up her phone, clearly not happy. _JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO SHIZUO!? _She soon erased the message and typed another. _IF YOU'RE HERE TO FIGHT HIM, YOU'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME FIRST!_

Celty then quickly ran to Shizuo's side, but stopped in shock at the look on Shizuo's face. _Shi...Shizuo?_ The dullahan questioned uneasily. _What's wrong? Why do you look like that?_

Shizuo gritted his teeth in frustration. "They... they have Kioko, Celty. I don't know how the hell they did it, but they do have her! I can't afford to kill all of them."

Celty jerked her helmet to the delinquents and back. _W__h-what... but that's just-_

"Hahaha, that's right, take that, Headless Rider...

"SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP! I SAID _ALL_, NOT ANY!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-"

* * *

_Somewhere in a dark mysterious alleyway..._

"Boss! We got him!" Horoda called eagerly, waving his hand wildly. "He came totally willingly and didn't even put up a f-" The rest will never be known as a fist suddenly went smashing into his face and sending him flying into the nearest brick wall.

_BOOOOOOOOOOOM!_

"GAAAAAAAAH! HORODA!"

Something cracked... and it was definitely not the wall.

Shizuo stood in the pack of the frenzied delinquents, clearly _not_ happy. "Enough of this shit..." He growled impatiently, reaching and loosening his collar. "Where. The fuck. Is. _SHE_!?"

A soft chuckle floated through the tense atmosphere. "Heiwajima-san, please calm down. There's no need to cause such a fuss..."

As his eyes adjusted to the dim alleyway light, Shizuo started in surprise as he caught sight of Kioko, bound, blindfolded, and, by the looks of it, drugged as well. "Kioko-"

"Like I said before..." A figure near Kioko's body spoke. "No need to yell. She's fast asleep and has no idea what happened. Her parents are convinced that she got off at the wrong subway terminal and are frantically searching for her as we speak."

"And I could give a fuck! Let her go, NOW!" Shizuo roared, stomping towards him.

"Ah, ah, ah..." The figure suddenly pointed a gun towards Kioko's head. Shizuo froze.

"It's not good to rush things, is it? After all, it was because of your rushed way of doing things that I got so badly mauled the last time..." The man lifted his head up slowly, to reveal...

"...what..." Shizuo's mouth dropped open. "You..."

"..."

"..."

"...Do I know you?"

"..."

"..."

"Ah!" The man put forth a hand dramatically. "No! I totally expected that. I'm not taken aback at all..."

"B-boss, it's all right to be a little upset..."

"Yeah, I mean, Horodo was raging pretty bad too-"

"SILENCE!"

"..."

"...er..." Shizuo scratched his head awkwardly. "...who _are_ you?"

"I?" The man, apparently recovered from his outburst and all smiles once more, turned back to Shizuo. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rokujo Chikage." A closer look revealed him to be clad in a suit with a fedora, his hair reddish brown.

Chikage smiled cheerfully. "Some time ago, you gave me quite the beating... but don't worry! I really don't hold a grudge against that! Honestly! It's not the reason why I brought you here."

Shizuo scowled deeper. "If that's actually the case, then just spit it out what's chewing at you and give back Kioko."

"The reason why," Chikage continued, ignoring Shizuo, "is because of your... significant other, Orihara Izaya. A little time ago, he caused... a lot of... _trouble_ for my comrades and I here. So, I want you, Heiwajima Shizuo, to do a _tiny _favor for us..."

He was doing this because of Izaya? Were these the people after his head? Shizuo tensed, glaring at Chikage intensely, who only smiled more. "But before that, we have a surprise for you~! I think you'll really-"

"And I could fucking care less!" The blond raged, on the verge of tipping over from a wringing mix of anxiousness and frustration.

"How dare you, this is important!" Chikage snapped back. "Listen here... we actually..."

There was a tense silence.

"...HAVE A HOSTAGE!" The man exclaimed proudly.

"..."

"..."

"NO FREAKING SHIT!" Shizuo roared furiously. "THAT'S WHY I'M HERE IN THE FUCKING FIRST PLACE!"

Chikage blinked, frozen in his dramatic pose. "Ah, yes, that's right, isn't it? I made a bit of a mistake. That came out wrong. Let me try agai-"

"NO, _NO_, **_NO_**!" Shizuo interrupted him again, flames practically rising from body in anger. "THERE ARE NO SECOND CHANCES, YOU BASTARD! THAT'S IT! I'M TAKING KIOKO BACK AND NONE OF YOU FUCKERS ARE STOPPING ME-"

"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!" Chikage almost danced around the bodyguard in a fruitless effort to calm him. "What I _meant_ to say was that we have... TWO HOSTAGES!"

_SNAP._

"...THEN WHY DID YOU JUST TELL ME THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU FUCKER!?"

"..." The redhead scratched his head sheepishly. "Well, it took us a surprising amount of time to capture him, actually, theref- WHOAA!" Chikage hastily ducked as a screaming gangster came flying at him. "OKAY! OKAY! QUICK! Bring him here before the beast thinks we're bullshitting him!"

There were several scrambles and rustlings before a bound form was unceremoniously kicked in front of Shizuo. Chikage began to smile as the fury in Shizuo's face slowly turned into horror as the man at his feet turned and groaned.

"...T-Tom!?"

* * *

_As for Izaya..._

Izaya was running at break-neck-speed throughout the streets, dodging and winding around obstacles with impressive accuracy. One would be surprised that he was not flying through the buildings like the ninja he was.

Celty was maneuvering through the traffic at speeds that would have had Kuzuhara Kinnosuke after her head. Mercifully, he was in another part of the city at the current time.

When the two zipped past each other, both suddenly skidded to a halt and hurried back in the opposite direction.

"CELTY!"

_IZAYA!_

"I screwed up! I really fucking screwed up!" Izaya swore, wringing his hands desperately.

_SHIZUO'S IN DANGER!_

"I know! I KNOW! GODDAMN IT! WHERE IS HE!?"

_A bunch of delinquets showed u p they threatened SHizuo so he left with them!_

The informant's mouth dropped open. "He did WHAT!?" Izaya yelled, practically screeching on the last word.

_I know! I didn't like it at all but he insisted that he didn't want me to come! I was going to get you just now!_

"Shit..." Izaya swore again, placing a hand on his forehead in frustration. "Okay, okay, okay. How long ago was this?"

_I-I'm not sure... maybe... twenty minutes ago? twenty-five? A-anyway, please hurry and get on!_

"Yeah, I'm coming with you." The informant hastily got on the motorcycle behind Celty. "I hope you won't mind me making a couple phone calls on here!" Izaya warned as Celty sped off, the resulting hum of the engines nearly drowning his words. "MY GOD, I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! I'M GOING TO KILL THAT GUY TOO! I'LL KILL THEM BOTH!"

* * *

"Tom!" Openly panicking, Shizuo dropped to his knees and helped his injured employer up, breaking Tom's bindings with a deft tug of his hands. "Are you all right!? Those bastards! How bad did they hurt you!?"

Wiping what suspiciously looked like dried blood from his chin, Tom merely shook his head as he dodged Shizuo's frantic hands. "No, no, I'm not that badly injured, Shizuo. My fault for being careless enough to be caught by these brats." He glared at Chikage before quickly turning back to the blond. "Shizuo, listen to me, you need to get that girl and get away, don't bother with me, I heard what they're planning to do, they're going to-"

_BAM!_ A well-aimed shot at the ground near Tom's feet stopped the debt collector in the mid-sentence.

"Hey, hey, stop that, no one wants to hear spoilers." Chikage warned, smirking as he pointed the gun to Kioko's head again. "Say, Heiwajima-san, you hate delays, don't you? Then let's cut to the chase right now. This child..." He pressed the gun harder to Kioko's head. "...is obviously important enough for you to come all the way here."

Chikage then pointed the gun in Tom's direction. "And this guy is obviously important enough for you to... ...well... he's obviously important to you! To you, he's more than a boss, he's... wait... no... that sounds really wrong..."

"Funny, I thought he said he was going to be quick about this..." Tom muttered irritably.

Chikage blinked. "Oh. I did say that, didn't I? Oops, I guess it's something I just can't help. Anyway..." Once again, he pressed the gun's muzzle back to unconscious Kioko. "Say, Heiwajima-san, have you ever read or watched 'Naruto'?"

"Hmm... I wonder if he keeps talking like that, I can just walk up, take Kioko, and then walk away?" Shizuo mused out loud. "What do you think, Tom?"

Chikage continued as if he hadn't heard the blond. "There's certain chapter where their teacher takes Uchiha Sasuke-"

"I think you definitely have a chance." His employer replied dryly.

"OH! Fine, fine, you impatient-" The redhead cleared his throat. "Both of these hostages are important to you, Heiwajima-san, right? But which one's _more_ important?"

"Huh?"

"You have two choices. I just could kill Kioko-chan right here and now-"

Shizuo growled warningly.

"While you and Tom-san would be able to walk away safely. Orrrrrrrr..." Chikage glanced at Tom slyly. "You could... roughen up Tom-san a bit."

"..._What_?"

"And then Kioko-chan here will definitely survive! Promise! Seriously!"

"Are you... telling me you want me to beat Tom up so Kioko can be saved?"

"Precisely! Listen, you don't even have to kill him! Just enough so..." Chikage smiled dangerously. "He has to stay in the hospital for only a _little_ bit of time-"

"Bullshit!" Shizuo hissed, managing to conceal the shock he felt. Underneath his exterior, however, his thoughts were in turmoil.

What... what!? They wanted him to beat up Tom? Tom? Tom of all people!? Sure, Shizuo had had multiple fights with many of his few friends... He wasn't sure if Shinra still had the marks from the time he pried one bit too far, Simon had had to wear those bandages for at least a week after they had a scuffle, and Izaya... well, Izaya was Izaya.

But to hurt someone with real intentions, not just plain anger?

The blond's fists clenched tighter.

And Tom was different! Tom... Tom was the first person to ever stand up for him! The first person who didn't see him as a deranged monster, but as a person! Hell, the first time Shizuo actually beat up people for someone else's sake was to protect Tom from those jerks in middle school. Tom-

"Shizuo!" Shizuo jerked his head up at his employer's voice.

Tom sighed as he saw the expression on the blond's face. "I'm sorry. I already knew that this was their plan... and you need to go through with it."

"NO." His reply came without thinking.

"Yes." Tom countered calmly, not surprised by the resistance he met. "Shizuo, you can't let that girl die-"

"And you think I can beat you up!?"

"You HAVE to!" His employer snapped back, his calmness from earlier gone. "That's the only way we can all get out of this mess alive!"

"I..." Shizuo gritted his teeth as he closed his eyes in denial. "I can't do that, Tom-san..."

"Don't give me that bullshit now, you _can_ and you MUST!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Haha, sorry, Shizuo, I always wanted to say a line like that."

"NOW'S NOT THE FUCKING TIME TO LAUGH, TOM-SAN, YOU IDIOT!" Shizuo practically screamed in frustration, tugging at his locks in anguish.

Chikage watched the now trembling blond carefully. "...so? What will you do?"

What will Shizuo do? What could he do!? There was no way he could let Kioko get harmed but... to hurt another friend in order to ensure her safety!? That was wrong!

Shizuo's nails were digging into his palm, but the bodyguard barely registered the sensation. There was no way... there was no way he could just-

"Now, now, don't look at us with such a face." Chikage pretended to shudder in horror. "It's not like your boyfriend is any better than us when it comes to these things..."

"Izaya- Izaya wouldn't stoop to such low measures!" Shizuo snapped before he could help himself.

Chikage smirked maliciously. "And just how are you so sure about that? I bet he never reveals his _dirty_ work to his sweetheart..."

Shizuo couldn't deny that, he knew, he knew that there was more to Izaya than what he showed to Shizuo, but... "You're... you're probably not wrong, but..."

Chikage looked at him questioningly. "But what?

"...but..." The blond whipped his head up (he hadn't realized he lowered it) and glowered at Chikage once more. "I... I believe in Izaya... and he may be a bastard, and a petty man, and a perverted stalker, but not as horrible as the likes of you fuckers!"

"Fine, fine, he's better than us if that makes you happy..." The redhead resigned in a lazy tone. "However, right now, you need to make a choice right now. Tom-san or Kioko-chan?"

"Shizuo!" Tom yelled, tugging desperately at the blond's shoulder.

The bodyguard stood frozen. He couldn't. He couldn't let Kioko die; he couldn't bring himself to injure Tom. How long had it been since he had experienced such helplessness? "I... I can't-"

"Should I make the decision for you, then?" Chikage asked, a little irritation showing on his features.

"NO-" Shizuo whipped his head back in his direction. "Don't-"

"And _this_ is the reason why monsters like you can never have friends." Chikage remarked before beginning to pull the trigger against Kioko's forehead.

* * *

**...yeah, that escalated pretty quickly, I know... I'm sorry... T T"**


	33. The Thing About Weaknesses

**A/N: Oh dear, I meant to put this up sooner... O-O"" I'm really sorry about that...**

**But thank you for all the reviews! =)**

* * *

Chikage frowned, a little irritation showing on his features. "And _this_ is the reason why monsters like you can never have friends." He remarked before beginning to pull the trigger against Kioko's forehead.

"KIOKO! NO!"

"Too late!"

_PAK!_

The crack of a gunshot echoed through the alleyway as Kioko's body slumped to the ground.

"..."

"..."

"...What... what..." Shizuo practically stammered, his eyes not seeming to register the situation. Tom stood shocked behind him, his mouth gaping like a fish out of water.

Chikage remained where he was crouching, having dropped Kioko in surprise, still gazing speechless at his now _empty_ right hand.

"Eh?"

"And that is why, ladies and gentlemen," a cheerful voice rang out from above, "if you are going to kill someone, you kill them. You do not delay your action by making a bunch of useless remarks. Or else..."

Everyone in the alley slowly turned their heads upward. Shizuo felt his jaw drop again at that voice. That voice... which could only belong to one person in Ikebukuro...

Perched on the alley rooftop, looking down at them, widely, grinning, was none other than-

"Or else..." A certain informant smirked, lifting a slightly smoking gun, the very gun he had used to to shoot Chikage's gun out of the gangster's hands, "..I can nearly guarantee that you'll certainly regret it."

"ORIHARA IZAYA!" Chikage yelled in uncharacteristic rage, jumping up as the delinquents around him murmured in shock and fear. "IT WAS YOU!"

Izaya carelessly tossed the gun behind him, his sharp eyes not leaving Chikage.

Shizuo could only stare at the informant, still in shock. "I-Izaya!?"

"Yo, Shizu-chan!" Izaya chirped, agilely jumping down into the alley and landing next to Chikage. Before the redhead could react, the informant swiftly seized the still sleeping Kioko and threw her in the air. "Oi, Celty!"

He had hardly finished calling the dullahan's name when black smoke shot out towards Kioko, wrapping around her body and lowering her safely to the ground near Shizuo and Tom. The blond ran to the girl, picking her up to make sure she wasn't injured.

Behind them, Celty stood with her motorcycle. She lifted her phone reassuringly. _Don't worry, Shizuo. I'll take her and Tom-san to Shinra's right now. And if anyone tries to stop us..._ Her intimidating scythe soon appeared beside her._  
_

The delinquents immediately flinched in fear. Tom looked at Shizuo hesitantly until the blond nodded, handing Kioko to his employer. "Go. I'll be fine."

Celty soon speed up with the two former hostages in tow, leaving Shizuo and Izaya with Chikage and his followers in the alley.

There was a short, tense silence until Chikage spoke up angrily. "Oh, so you think this is over? I'll find another way to kidnap them again, you'll never be safe-"

Izaya completely ignored him, instead, he strolled casually to where Shizuo was standing. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Shizu-chan... is what I would say here, but you already did quite well on your own, didn't you?"

Before the blond could reply, Izaya glanced back at Chikage and the others. "My my, Chikage-kun, do calm down, will you? I did imagine you would be a little upset, but I would never guess you would stoop to such-"

"Shut up! As if you're any better!"

Izaya laughed. It was not the usual warm laughter Shizuo heard, but cold, sharp laughter that nearly sent chills down Shizuo's spine. "Oh, do forgive me, Chikage-kun. All I did was spread a _harmless_ rumor..."

"That made me lose my HAREM!" Chikage fumed, looking like he dearly wanted to be pointing a gun at Izaya at the moment.

"Ahahahahahaha! Well, you know what they say, you can't have it all~"

"...You... did what, Izaya!?" Shizuo sputtered, snapping a bit out of his daze as the informant continued to guffaw.

"Yo-you bastard..." Chikage turned wildly to all the delinquents. "EVERYONE, GET HIM!"

"Ah..." The delinquents were slightly shaken up by Izaya's appearance, but the sight of Ikebukuro's strongest at his weakest had fed their confidence. "LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" They all started to charge at the two standing at the other end of the alley way.

"Isn't this a a bit too stereotypical?" Izaya complained, frowning slightly as he withdrew his pocket knife.

"A-ah?" Shizuo still seemed incapable of saying too many coherent words.

Izaya simply grinned at him, reaching to affectionately rustle Shizuo's hair with his free hand. Even in these circumstances, the informant's smile was the same. "No need to worry, Shizu-chan~" Despite Izaya's rather cold hand, the touch was calming. "We're two of Ikebukuro's deadliest humans. There's no way these puny scum will be able to lay a finger on us!"

"Ah... ah..." As he registered the sensation of Izaya's hand upon his locks, a strange feeling swept through Shizuo.

His moment of helplessness from before was now completely gone. As he gazed at Izaya, Shizuo felt his mental power slowly returning. He could feel his strength in his fists, but he wasn't about to go nuts. He could feel his stomach churning in excitement, but his vision was still clear.

This... this was it... The blond blinked. This was one of the rare occasions where Shizuo was able to control his power without going batshit insane. And this time, it was thanks to...

"...flea... thanks." Pushing his sunglasses up, Shizuo's mouth slowly curled into a dangerous smile. "Sorry about that. I was really losing myself there."

"Hehehe..." Bringing his knife up, Izaya smiled wickedly once more. "Not a problem, Shizu-chan, not at problem at all. Now then... shall we?"

Behind the delinquents, Chikage blinked, being the only one to realize the true direness of the situation. "...oh. Shit."

* * *

_Ten seconds and twenty delinquents later..._

"Hmmm..." Shizuo raised an eyebrow at the pile of groaning bodies in the middle of the alley. "...that was surprisingly fast. You're not too bad of a partner, flea."

"You could just admit to my greatness." The informant chuckled, expertly sliding his knife back into its hiding place.

"...should we just kill him?" Shizuo questioned, casually pointing to the now bloody Chikage. "Or at least maim him so he's useless? I don't want this bastard causing trouble for Tom-san or Kioko again..."

"Oh... I think I can take care of that..." Izaya practically skipped lightly over to the pile of delinquents. "Next time, I'd advise you all not to bother Shizu-chan and me. We tend to take certain things... badly. And by the way..." With a sadistic leer, the informant let several photos flutter to the ground. "I thought the rest of you, besides Chikage-kun, that is, would enjoy this..."

"Huh?" As they were heavily injured, it took the teenagers more than a few seconds to realize exactly what they were looking at.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...wh-what..."

"GAAAAAAAAAAAH! BOSS, YOU WERE ACTUALLY GAY!? I THOUGHT YOU HAD BEEN FRAMED LIKE THE REST OF US!"

"WH-WHAAAAAAT!?" What little color remained in Chikage's face immediately drained out. "N-NOOOOOOO! DON'T MISUNDERSTAND! IT WAS A PHASE! A PHASE! THAT'S ALL IT WAS! I SWEAR"

"...uh..." Not understanding anything that was going on (and half-wanting not to) Shizuo again raised a wary eyebrow. "Izaya... just what is going on?"

"Hm? Oh... well, they were bothering one of my... acquaintances, so I decided to spread some rumors that they were gay..." Izaya gave a careless shrug. "It seemed to have taken root... but we can discuss that later." He jerked a thumb toward's the alley exit. "Let's get out of here, already."

"R... right..."

* * *

_Several hours later..._

Kioko was now sound and safe with her parents. Celty had given them a false explanation of how she and Shizuo had found her sleeping at a deserted terminal. Her parents were too relieved to scold her, Choko was back in her home, and Kioko was none the wiser.

Tom had returned to his home as well. His injuries, none of which were particularly fatal, had all been treated by Shinra.

Having received all the news from Celty's text messages, Shizuo typed her back a quick thank-you before pocketing his phone and continuing to walk with Izaya.

"...so..." The blond began awkwardly.

"..."

"We... I... we don't make such a bad team, do we?"

"...yeah..."

Now that they were alone, Izaya's behavior seemed to have done an one-hundred-eighty-degree-flip. Shizuo couldn't help but sense that his boyfriend was... not ... happy.

"..."

"...um... Izaya?"

"Hm?"

"Erm... How long were you and Celty there?"

"..." The informant paused a bit before finally speaking. "...a while..."

"...Oh..." Shizuo looked away nervously. "Um, about that-"

"Can we go to my apartment?" Izaya asked suddenly, grabbing Shizuo's hand with his own.

"H-huh? Oh... sure..."

The journey to Shinjuku was just as awkwardly silent. Shizuo was almost relieved when Izaya closed the door to his apartment, but then-

"DAMN IT, SHIZU-CHAN!" Izaya suddenly yelled, slamming his hand against the wall as he cornered Shizuo against the surface, his eyes wild and angry. "WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU CALL ME WHEN IT HAPPENED!?"

Shizuo could only gawk back at him, feeling more shocked than at any other time that day. "Wh... what?"

Immediately, Izaya tried to control himself. "I... I mean... ah... fuck..." The informant covered his eyes, still breathing heavily. "I... I just told you, you could depend on me, right? Why... why didn't you? Did you know how worried I was when I realized what was going on? Did you know how frantically I was looking for you before Celty found me? Why didn't you go to me!? Why did I have to learn about this second-hand!?"

The blond still staring at him blankly. "Ah... sorry. To be honest, I... I actually never really thought about it. I kind of just went along with the flow."

"You WHAT?" Izaya groaned, clutching at his hair. "Am I... that unreliable as a boyfriend? I-I mean... I know you're strong, Shizu-chan but..."

His free hand reached for Shizuo's face, cupping the blond's cheek. "I still want to be able to protect you when I can. Won't you let me do that sometimes?"

"I... Izaya... I... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to... I just... " Shizuo said slowly, the full impact of what he had done hitting him. To his surprise, Shizuo felt something wet on his face. "Ah-"

"A-ah!" Starting to panic, Izaya frantically wiped at Shizuo's face. "I-I"m sorry! I shouldn't have yelled-"

"N-no, it was my fault," Shizuo protested, grabbing onto Izaya's hands. "I... I was just so used to being by myself... that I... I didn't think about how you would feel. I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Izaya..."

"Don't... don't cry, you're making me feel like a jerk..." Izaya mumbled sheepishly. "It's not your fault, you didn't do it on purpose..."

"It-it's not because of that..." Shizuo paused to roughly wipe his cheek. They weren't from sadness... "I... I just... I'm grateful. I really am. That you... I mean... er... ah... well..."

He took a deep breath, trying to steady his voice. "People... don't think I need to be protected, and... I guess I thought that too in the past... but... when you came... I... I was really glad." Shizuo took a hesitant step forward to rest his head against Izaya's shoulder. "...thank you for that. Izaya."

"...oh." It was now Izaya's turn to stare blankly at the blond before suddenly hugging him tightly, Shizuo returning the gesture at once.

"...hey, flea..."

"Hm?"

"...I'm never going to say this again... but... you did look pretty cool when you were fighting and when you were being all...informant-like? I-I don't know..."

"...Sorry that I lost my temper. That was pretty uncool."

"...N-no, I didn't really hate that."

"..." The black-haired man jerked his head up. "Wait, you _liked_ seeing me angry!?"

"...n-never mind."

"..."

"..."

"We... we're both idiots right now, aren't we?" Izaya muttered against Shizuo's side.

"Yeah..." Shizuo agreed numbly.

"Let's never leave each other, okay?"

"Yeah..."

"There's no one else meant for us except for each other, okay?"

"Yeah..."

"Let's have awesome make-up sex now, okay?"

"Yeah..."

"..." This time, it was Izaya's turn to blush. "Y-you mean that!? I just said it to try and lighten the mood..."

"No, it's fine." Shizuo smiled, reaching to caress Izaya's cheek. "Tonight, I'm fine with anything you want me to do..."

"H-huh?" The informant froze in incredulity. "Do... do you know what you're saying?"

The blond felt himself blush furiously. "Ye-yeah, I do... but it's the least I can do after I made you worry."

"...are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"...I don't trust this. I'm going to wake up soon and it's all going to be a lie."

"Izaya..."

"..."

"..."

The informant's fingers twitched slightly, as if Izaya was trying to stop himself from groping Shizuo. "If...if..."

"...Hm?" Shizuo glanced up warily, feeling sweat begin to form on his palms.

"I-if you're really okay with it, then..." Izaya looked like he was ready to have another super nosebleed. Shizuo blushed again and tensed himself, wondering if he would be okay with handcuffs or cream, when-

"Can you please pretend you have cat ears on and go "nyan", like this?" Izaya asked eagerly, tilting his head as a demonstration.

"..."

"..."

"...You want me to WHAT?" Shizuo repeated disbelievingly.

"Y-you said anything!" Izaya cried defensively, his eyes bugging. "H-hang on, you're not going to refuse me, are you?"

"I say I'll do anything, and you want me to pretend to be a cat..." Shizuo said slowly. "I can't believe you. I really can't believe you! After all that kinky shit you said when Tom interrupted us that time-"

"W-well, I feel like it'll help abolish my antipathy towards cats!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...actually," Izaya perked up, his mouth suddenly curling into his signature rapist smile, "can we do all of those things too!? The things I mentioned earlier, that is!"

"_WHAT_?" The blond's jaw dropped. "So you want me to do that cat thing AND ALL OF THAT... THAT... THAT STUFF!?" Now _that_ was a little...

"Y-you said anything!" Izaya repeated desperately, clutching Shizuo's shoulders.

"D-Do you really KEEP all of that... _stuff_ we would actually need for... _that_... in your apartment, flea!?"

The informant's eyes lighted up as his face twisted into a perverted grin. "Does that mean Shizu-chan is okay with it?"

"NO! STOP! IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT! J-just answer the question-"

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" The informant tried to show his puppy eyes again.

"..."

"..."

"F-fine, fine..." Shizuo said reluctantly, his cheeks still flaming red. "...but I'm only going to do this once, you hear me?"

"Just do it already~"

"...If you somehow take a picture or video of this, I will destroy you." His face bright red, the blond put his hands behind his head as ears and then tilted his head. "...Nyan?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

Shizuo felt something in him shrivel up and die from the embarrassment he felt. This was almost as worst as that time he wore that pink bunny suit- NO, he was not going to think of that time. "...fl-flea, s-say something already, do you have any idea how-"

"KYAAAAAAAAAAA!" Izaya attacked him with all of his strength, knocking them both against the door. "SHIZU-CHAN YOU'RE SO CUTE~~~~~~~~"

"A-ARGH! FLEA!" Slightly surprised, Shizuo struggled a bit.

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH~~~~~~! NOW DO IT AGAIN!"

"H-HELL NO!"

"Muahahahahaha!" Cackling evilly, Izaya lifted Shizuo up, forcing the bodyguard to wrap his legs around the informant's waist. "No matter! Tonight, you'll make the most delicious faces for me~!"

"A-ahhhh..." Shizuo thought it was impossible for him to blush anymore than he was now. "D-damn you..." He rested his heated face against Izaya's, gritting his teeth. "Fi-fine... d-do your worst, flea!" He spat, glaring at Izaya despite a strong feeling that he would be eating his words soon.

Izaya raised an eyebrow playfully. "Oh? Are you challenging me, Shizu-chan?" He reached up to kiss Shizuo, his tongue easily sliding into the blond's mouth.

"M-mm..." Shizuo pulled away, panting slightly as his arms locked themselves around Izaya's neck. "Sh-shit..." He cursed, turning away to the side. "Th- this is so embarrassing..."

"You should know better than to challenge me, Shizu-chan." Izaya laughed his warm laugh before leaning forward to suck the blond's neck. Shizuo bit his lip, trying to stifle his gasp as the informant left a rather noticeable purple mark underneath his chin.

He then looked up almost hungrily to Shizuo. "When I'm done with you tonight, which, by the way, won't be any time soon..." Izaya smirked again, licking his lips in a manner that sent the blond's insides reeling in desire, "You won't even remember the definition of embarrassment, Shizu-chan~"

"E-EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!?"

"I finally have you all to myself in my apartment..." Pale hands reached for Shizuo's shirt collar, flicking it open. "Don't count on anyone coming to rescue you tonight!" Izaya winked before violently tearing the rest of the garment from Shizuo's body.

"I-IZAYA!" Shizuo shouted indignantly as the informant speedily carried him to the bedroom. "YOU... YOU... YOU TORE MY SHIRT!"

"It got what it deserved." His boyfriend replied dryly, depositing Shizuo on the bed, already running his hands along the blond's thighs. "Keeping me from my beautiful Shizu-chan's chest... Now it's time for me to get what _I_ deserve..." He muttered heatedly, kissing the crook of Shizuo's neck.

"H-hnngh... ah... er..." The blond desperately tried to keep his thoughts in order. "H-hey... K-Kasuka gave me that, you know!"

"Hmm." He felt Izaya pop open his pants button. "All the more reason to have done that then. Maybe I should cut your boxers off too... ehehehehehehehe-"

"OH MY GOD, CUT THAT SHIT OUT, YO-YOU CREEPY LITTLE-g-aA-A-AGAA!?" Shizuo's fingers suddenly dug into the sheets.

Izaya kissed his cheek. "Sorry, sweetheart, could you repeat that again for me?"

"Y-you... I... I...I..."

"Mmmm~?"

"...Shit. I fucking love you, you bastard Izaya. N-now shut up and finish what you're doing!"

"Why of course, my lord." The informant whispered mockingly before tugging off Shizuo's pants. "Feel free to scream as much as you would like."

Shizuo's eyes widened.

This... was going to be a long night. And if he was really honest with himself... as horrible as it was... Clenching his teeth, the blond covered his eyes with the back of his forearm. Shizuo couldn't say that he wasn't looking forward to it.

* * *

**... I have a feeling that the ending is a bit too perverted, but meh, oh well. =) Omake chapter is coming up, and then hopefully I'll manage to type out the ending as well!**


	34. OmakeEpilogue?

**A/N: All right guys, I think this is the end! ^o^ Last chapter folks, one omake and one epilogue (sorta) XD **

**Thank you all for your reviews and enjoy the chapter! ^_^**

* * *

**Omake chapter:**

Izaya sighed before crossing his legs, resting one of his elbows on the table as he glanced warily at his younger sisters. "And just what makes the two of you think that I'm willing to help with your homework? I know you both are more than capable of doing it..."

"That IS true, Iza-nii, but..." Mairu leaned forward playfully. "We're just feeling a bit too lazy right now~"

"Tired..." Kururi added.

Their older brother rolled his eyes. "Well, that's too bad. You'll have to learn to just grin and bear it, like me. I'm actually refusing for your own sakes, you know. Now be _good_ children and just-"

"Ohohohoho!" Mairu laughed wickedly, her eyes glinting in delighted anticipation behind her glasses. "We thought you'd say that, Iza-nii, we thought you would! So..." She suddenly reached down near her feet and brought up a huge album, slamming it onto the table with a loud _thunk! _sound. "We brought you some worthy... compensation for you troubles, tee-hee!"

"Eh?"

"...photos..." (Photos of Shizuo-san.)

Izaya snorted, leaning his cheek into his palm. "Sorry, but that's not going to work. As an official-Shizu-chan-stalker, I can assure you that I have access more than enough photos of my boyfriend to last me a lifeti-"

Mairu cut him off once again. "Ah-ah~ I bet you haven't ever seen _this_ picture before!" Snatching a photo from the album, she dangled it eagerly in front her brother's face.

"What are you talking abou- oh..." Izaya's jaw dropped. It was a picture of Shizuo as a young child, appearing to be fast asleep. His brown hair was tousled, and a small trail of drool could be seen from the corner of his mouth.

The red eyes immediately widened to the size of saucers. What... what was this feeling!? He had always found his Shizu-chan cute, but this... this... this was on a totally different level... "...ah!?"

"Shizuo-san is unexpectedly CUTE as a kid, isn't he?" Mairu continued excitedly. "Hanejima Yuuhei gave this album to us as a gift! It's filled with pictures of only him. BUT, as we were going through it, we found this one photo of Shizuo-san stuck behind one of the other pictures!"

"...offer?" (Do we have a deal?)

"..." Izaya's eye twitched.

"Well~~~~?"

"..."

The black-haired man gritted his teeth, his eyes narrowing in annoyance at the identical smug looks in front of him before wilting in resignation. "...the first unanswered problem on your English worksheet. The correct translation would be 'the cake has never been a lie'."

"Good... Nii..."

"Shut up. A word of this to Shizu-chan and you'll never be able to see Kasuka-kun again."

* * *

_A couple of hours later..._

Alone in his office, Izaya stared at the photo as if it contained all the mysteries of the universe. And in a sense, it did. His universe, at least, that is.

"Hmmm... what is _this_?" The informant wondered aloud to himself, frowning slightly. "I mean, I've always loved seeing my Shizu-chan, but there's just this something about this picture... oh!"

His eyes lighted up in realization. "That's right! It feels like I've been with Shizu-chan for a long time, but there's still 22 or so years of his life I haven't been there! I'm just getting upset that I haven't been able to actually _see_ Shizu-chan as a kid or as a teenager... Right now, I want to see Shizu-chan at ALL of his stages of his past life... all of it, all of it, all of it, all of it, all of it, all of it..."

Izaya suddenly twirled around in his chair, a maddening laugh escaping him. "Ahahahahahahaha~ And I have just the solution to that~"

* * *

"..." Shizuo took the phone away from his ear and gave it a meaningful stare, as if his look could somehow penetrate the technology and reach Izaya. "...flea, I don't think I heard you correctly. You want to do _what_?"

"I want to find a time machine and then travel back several years so we can do sex as teenagers! Come on, Shizu-chan, don't you want to do that too?"

"..." The blond blinked and then took a deep breath. "Izaya... I thought we already had a discussion about how you needed to stay away from the crack-"

"Just think of it, Shizu-chan! I can have you as a teenager, and as a kid, and as a baby! You'll be mine for literally the whole length of your life~!"

"THE _FUCK_? Do you even realize just how fucked up you sound, flea!? That's it! I'm hanging up! Call me again when you're sober and _proper_, you crazy bastard!" With that, the blond shut his phone.

Tom, who had been patiently walking behind Shizuo, smiled sympathetically. "Your boyfriend?"

"Saying the most weirdest messed-up shit I've ever heard." His employee replied, massaging his temple with one hand in frustration. "I swear, sometimes I question my sanity for staying with a guy like him..."

"...w-well... it could be worst..." Tom attempted to point out feebly. "I mean, it's not like he just comes up to you in public and is like 'Let's have sex now!' or something like that, right? Haha..."

"...ahaha..." Shizuo laughed feebly before giving a sudden shudder and shaking his head. "Tom-san... no. Don't. Knowing Izaya, he might actually-" The rest of Shizuo's words were lost as a certain crazy bastard suddenly glomped him from behind. "SHIZU-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN~"

"E-ehh?"

"GAAAAAAAAAAH! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM, FLEA!?" Shizuo screamed, vainly trying to shake Izaya off him.

Izaya only buried his face into Shizuo's neck. "Hey... let's have sex now."

"HAAAAAH!?"

"I missed you all of a sudden, so-"

"No, NO, **NO!**" Horrified, the blond squirmed in Izaya's arms. "Let me GO! I have a fucking job to do! Tom-san! Tell Izaya-"**  
**

The debt collector coughed hastily. "O-oh, l-look at the time, I just remembered I had something super urgent to do, I'll just leave you two here then!"

"BULLSHIT! TOM-SAN! O-OI! Wait a minute, IZAYA! DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO TOUCH MY BUTT HERE-"

Izaya dared.

"..."

"..."

"IZAAAAAAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAA-"

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

* * *

_Several hours later..._

"Hey, hey, Shizu-chaaaaan..." Much to Shizuo's chagrin, his boyfriend continued to molest him once they had returned home. "Let's get a time machine... with a time machine... I can see little Shizu-chan again... Shizu-chan as a kid eheheheheheh muahahahahahaha-"

"The HELL is wrong with you, flea!?" The blond shrieked, delivering a deadly head-shop to the top of Izaya's head in order to escape his groping hands. The informant instantly crumpled to the ground. "Owwwwwww~~"

"Quit sounding like a fucking lolicon! Where did all of this shit even come from!?"

Izaya immediately popped back up, looking perfectly fine, save for the slightly insane haze in his eyes. "That's right, Shizu-chan, I'll admit it! I... AM A LOLICON!" He grinned widely before suddenly tackling Shizuo again. "BUT ONLY FOR KID-SHIZU-CHAN~~~"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAH WILL YOU STOP THAT!?"

"Heehee, just kidding. I think it's just a strong urge to have a child. Shizu-chan, come on, let's make a little kid together, mmmmm?"

"I-Izaya," Shizuo finally managed to pry one of the informant's hands off of his butt, only to have it groped again by Izaya's other hand. "Re-really, cut this out! You're _scaring_ me!"

"Hmmm..." Izaya rubbed his face against Shizuo's cheek, cackling creepily. "I want a child that looks exactly like Shizu-chan... but he can have my hair color and eye color... and my personality... hmm... yeah... I want that kind of child... ahaha... ahahahaha... muahahahahahahahahaha-"

The blond's eyebrow twitched. "Fl-flea... SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT ALREADY!" In one quick motion, he swiftly grabbed a fistful of Izaya's black shirt and head-butted the informant with a loud _THWACK! _If that didn't smack at least _some_ sort of sense into the flea, Shizuo wasn't sure what would.

"..."

"..."

There was then a short silence as Izaya and Shizuo stared at each other, the former blinking. "Oh. I was saying some really weird stuff, wasn't I?"

"No shit..." Shizuo grumbled but didn't move away from Izaya. "Really, _what_ the hell happened, Izaya?"

"..." Izaya turned his head to the side, looking slightly embarrassed. "Er... don't kill me when I tell you, I mean, _really_, please don't kill me, but... well... my sisters found this old picture of you when looking through all of these pictures Kasuka-kun gave them... and... I guess I found it a little... exciting..."

"...tell me you're joking..." The blond put a hand to his forehead wearily not sure whether to feel angry, embarrassed, or both... "I'm not going to kill you, Izaya, but... seriously!? Jeez! I was such a stupid-looking kid!"

His boyfriend's head shot up wildly. "You were NOT!" Izaya protested, grabbing Shizuo's hands with his own. "You were so FUCKING ADORABLE CUTE LITTLE CHARMING CUTE CUTE CUTE SWEET SHOTA-"

"...ah..."

Izaya let one of his hands go in order to face-palm himself. "...There. You saw how it happened. It's almost kind of interesting how easily you can literally drive me crazy all the time..."

"..."

"...I still kind of want to have a kid that looks like you but has my hair and eye color..."

"...like I said before, flea, STOP saying things that violate basic biology rules..." Shizuo let out a slight groan, his fingers curling reluctantly into Izaya's. "You are seriously the most weirdest guy I have ever met. Shinra included. Period."

"H-hey, that's a little har-" Izaya stopped when his boyfriend bumped their heads together in a much gentler manner.

His cheeks still a little red, Shizuo glared determinedly at the informant. "Really, flea. It's not such a big deal, not knowing me when I was a child. Most couples only meet each other until after they become adults, anyway! I-I mean..." The blond bit his lip hesitantly before continuing. "Y-you have me now... a-and you'll have me later on, so, th-that would be enough for you, w-wouldn't it?"

There was short pause of silence until Shizuo erupted. "AAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHH!" The blond raged, tearing his hands away and burying them in his hair. "GODDAMN IT! THAT WAS SO FREAKIN' EMBARRASSING TO SAY! FORGET I SAID IT! FORGET I SAID ANYTHING! GAAAAH!"

Izaya, who had been staring at Shizuo blankly for the past few seconds, suddenly broke out in a wide, ear-splitting grin. "Awwwwww~ Shizu-chan, why must you always be cute like this?" He teased, reaching over to tug playfully at the blond's ear.

Shizuo promptly sent him another glower as he slowly slid his hands from his head. "Stupid flea... d-don't expect me to say that again..."

"Ahaha, don't worry! I always make sure to memorize one hundred and fifty percent of whatever my Shizu-chan says or does!"

"...Izaya, how the fuck is that even possible!?"

"And plus, I also have my secret video cameras planted around the house, so no matter what, I'll always have some sort of record of every moment~"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, you crazy flea..." Shizuo paused, several seconds passing before immediate realization and anger hit him. "WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, YOU HAVE _WHAT_ IN MY HOUSE!?"

Izaya chuckled as he began to make a run for it. "Oops, look at the time, silly me, Shizu-chan, we had better get back to our jobs!"

"YOU! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU KNOW! GET BACK HERE, YOU PERVERTED STALKER BASTARD!"

"My, my, Shizu-chan, I didn't know you were so eager that you'd be chasing me through the streets! No, no, we must save it for tonight~""

"IZAYA, YOU CREEP! YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! ARGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

As they ran around screaming, the city continued peacefully with its everyday life.

Sitting at a cafe table with Anri and Kida, Mikado lifted a cup to his lips. In front of them, Izaya darted through the street, practically guffawing, while Shizuo ran after him, shouting and swearing at the top of his lungs.

The student took a small sip of his drink and smiled happily at the sky. "Ah. Another ordinary day in Ikebukuro..."

* * *

**Actual chapter:**

Shizuo was aware that he wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. But he liked to think he wasn't the dullest crayon in the box, either. While the bodyguard did acknowledge that he was a little unobservant when it came to certain things, he wasn't _totally_ oblivious.

So Shizuo did know that there was something wrong with Izaya's recent behavior. He just couldn't figure out what it was.

* * *

It first began when they were sitting in Izaya's apartment, watching television. To be honest, Shizuo wasn't really interested in the program, he was more aware of the informant beside him, of the slightly damp black hair over the pale forehead, of the slender but strong fingers that were now-

...hurtling a knife towards the TV!?

_CRASH!_

"I-Izaya!?" Shizuo managed to bark out as the weapon plunged into screen, causing crackling glass, electrical buzzing, and small puffs of smoke.

There was a short period of shocked silence before Shizuo regained his speech. "Fl-flea!? I know we hardly watch TV that much, but, um, was that really necessary?"

The said flea's expression had turned wooden, the red eyes avoiding Shizuo's. "...I had a sudden urge to hone my knife-throwing skills."

"...Erm... I don't think they need any more honing..." Shizuo commented honestly, wondering if he should be worrying (more than usual) about his boyfriend's sanity. "Are you okay, Izaya?"

"I... I'm fine..." Izaya muttered distractedly, standing up from the couch and walking away, leaving behind an extremely confused Shizuo. Izaya usually didn't act like that unless he was really upset... but they had been just watching TV!

Shizuo racked his brain for anything that could have set the flea off. He was pretty damn sure he hadn't forgotten any special event... The blond had learned his lesson after forgetting the "half-anniversary" of the day he and Izaya had met.

It probably didn't have anything to do with what was on the television, either. All he had remembered was seeing some jewelry advertisement before Izaya had thrown his knife.

* * *

After the first incident with the television, Izaya's absurd behavior began to escalate to a point where the blond concluded that, yes, he should be more worried than usual about his boyfriend's sanity.

They would be casually walking down the streets after work when Izaya would suddenly stop talking and run up to a store and throw what suspiciously looked like a grenade into the window.

This would immediately result in booming explosions, screams, hazardous debris, and Shizuo having to grab Izaya and run the hell away before someone could arrest them.

He had furiously demanded an explanation from Izaya, but all he got was a mere mumble of how white was such a hideous color and petals were the worst thing in the world.

On the verge of losing his head, Shizuo went to Celty and Shinra for advice. After a lot of suspicious fiddling, the dullahan and doctor firmly told the blond that it was nothing to worry about. Shizuo couldn't help thinking that they seemed a bit too enthusiastic in their assurances...

* * *

Shizuo encountered Izaya on his way back from Shinra's and Celty's. Upon spotting Shizuo, Izaya's face immediately lit up, and the bodyguard found himself smiling back. Despite all the weird(er than usual) stuff Izaya had been doing, he was still Shizuo's boyfriend, after all...

"Hey." Izaya threw an arm around Shizuo's neck, the edges of the fur cuff tickling Shizuo's cheek. "Want to come to my place?" Shizuo could feel the warm puff of his breath against the other side of his face.

Blushing slightly, Shizuo nodded, leaning his head against Izaya's. "Yeah..."

They ended up going to the station and riding the subway to Shinjuku without any major problems, and Shizuo was just beginning to think that Shinra and Celty were right and the whole thing was just a phase of Izaya's, when-

_SCCCCCRRRRRRRRRKKKK!_

"FLEA!?"

This time, Izaya had suddenly struck out at an advertisement displayed over their heads. With only his nails and a freaked out expression, Izaya managed to scrape the entire ad until it wasn't visible.

"..."

"...Izaya, what-"

"I don't like that company!" The informant answered abruptly, taking Shizuo's hand and leading him out of the subway before any of its shocked occupants could do anything.

As he was whisked out, Shizuo turned back to the remaining shreds of the advertisement to spot a fragment of a word lying in tatters. P... r... o... p... Prop? What the hell did that mean? Did Izaya get into trouble with a shady theater business!?

On their way to Izaya's apartment, however, the flea suddenly attacked an innocent woman who had been happily chattering about her new fiancé, causing Shizuo to wonder if the flea had just lost his mind (if he hadn't before).

* * *

Something was definitely wrong with Izaya's behavior, and it was driving Shizuo almost as crazy as the time when Izaya was "courting" him. Giving up on getting any remotely reasonable explanation from Izaya, the blond had resorted to holing him up in his apartment, making sure to be the only one to get supplies, work, etc.

Two days of this routine later, however, Izaya confronted Shizuo in the living room and said the three, well, actually, five words the former bartender had dreaded the most. "Hey, Shizu-chan. Let's go out."

"..." Shizuo stared at him blankly as he mentally ran around in circles, panicking. "...l-let's not... Izaya, it's such a horrible day outside!"

"...Shizu-chan, the sky is blue and the sun is out..." Izaya muttered sullenly. "Don't treat me like a mentally-challenged person..."

Then don't act like one! ...was what Shizuo dearly wanted to say, but for once, the blond held his tongue. "...Izaya, I don't think it's such a good idea. You've been acting... weird lately. By that, I mean REALLY REALLY weird..."

"I know... and I'm sorry about that." Izaya acknowledged, to Shizuo's slight surprise. The informant was starting to blush, one of his hands was rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "But... go out with me tonight, will you? I'll treat you to some sushi as an apology for all the crap that I did..."

Shizuo sighed resignedly. He knew he couldn't resist his boyfriend when the flea acted like that... "...fine... but if you start pulling anymore of that weird shit again, Izaya, I swear..."

Izaya smiled at him, but it wasn't his usual smirk, this smile looked weary, almost... nervous? What the heck was going on!? Izaya usually never had that expression on unless it was after sex!

An uneasy feeling settled into Shizuo's stomach. It only grew throughout the evening when Izaya insisted, with a strange intensity, that they _had_ to eat at Russian Sushi. After a moment of worried confusion, Shizuo slowly agreed, feeling as if Izaya's eyes would pop out of his head if he didn't.

* * *

In the restaurant, Shizuo, half-consumed with worry that Izaya might go crazy again, didn't immediately notice the surrounding company. But he perked up in surprise when he spotted Shinra and Celty seated quietly at a table near the back.

"Huh? What are those guys doing there..." Shizuo tried to give them a little wave, puzzled when they appeared not to see him.

Now giving his full attention to his surroundings, Shizuo was seeing familiar faces left and right throughout the restaurant. There was Kadota, Walker, Erika, Togusa, Tom, even Kioko and her parents... the blond's mouth dropped open. Was that Kasuka and the twins over there!? Kasuka actually came over to Ikebukuro and didn't let Shizuo know!?

"I-Izaya, behind us, there's-"

"IT'S AN ILLUSION." Izaya said in a rather forced manner, looking determinedly at the sushi as if it held the secrets of eternal life. "They're not really there, Shizu-chan. Just eat with me." He stabbed a sushi rather violently (with a chopstick, of course) for emphasis.

"...um... okay..." His mind whirling with anxiety, Shizuo hesitantly began to eat as well.

"..."

"...erm... nice stars tonight..."

"...Izaya, we're inside a solid building. With no viewing windows."

"..."

"I knew that..." Izaya muttered, hastily stuffing another sushi into his mouth. Shizuo raised an eyebrow. Izaya was acting stranger and stranger as the night went on...

They had finished most of the sushi when it happened. Izaya, who had been devouring the food in a rather frightening manner, shoved another piece of sushi in his mouth-

And suddenly started choking, his hand flying to his mouth in surprise. "BLLLLLLRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!"

"EH?" Shizuo dropped his chopsticks in panic as the informant continued to gag and cough. "I-Izaya, are you okay!?"

"Don't worry, Shizuo, Izaya ate sushi, nothing can go wrong if it's sushi..." Simon chimed happily across the room. Shizuo paid him no mind, rushing over to Izaya to pound at his back. "Hey, Izaya! Hang in there!"

Although it seemed like forever to Shizuo, Izaya finally spat the disgusting remains of his sushi back out, groaning wearily. "Ugh..."

"Izaya! Are you all right? Drink some water, flea!"

"See, Shizuo, nothing went wrong, nothing's wrong with sushi~"

"SHUT UP, SIMON! The damn sushi nearly KILLED him!" Shizuo hastily turned back to Izaya, who was wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Izaya, are you sure you're okay-"

"...well, that certainly didn't go as planned..." The informant muttered, waving Shizuo's hand off as he reached into the mess on his plate. From the sticky saliva pile, he withdrew something shiny and round.

Much to Shizuo's consternation, Izaya then faced him with a sheepish smile, a simple ring lying in the middle of his palm. "So... here. this is for you."

"...huh?" Was all Shizuo felt capable of saying at the moment. A blush broke out on Izaya's face as he nervously held the ring in his fingers. "W-well... I considered actually giving a proper proposal and all, but it... it just didn't work out... so I thought of just writing or typing something to you... but that didn't feel right either... and I kind of just milled around until Simon came along and gave me this idea, I know I'm sitting and i'm supposed to be kneeling but you're still standing above me so the atmosphere probably isn't that different from what it would be if I was kneeling-"

"Wait. WAIT. **WAIT**." The blond said slowly, looking down at Izaya in pure shock. "Flea... what the fuck are you saying?"

"I... uh... well... I want you... to marry me... because... I love you and stuff... so... yeah..." Looking back on this time, Izaya commented in disgust that he had never felt so inelegant in his entire life. "Er, marry me, Shizu-chan. For real. I mean it this time. Seriously. I'm not joking."

"..." Shizuo felt his mouth fall open and his eye twitch at the same time. "Orihara Izaya... are you saying you intended to propose to me by stuffing a ring into a piece of _sushi_ and then letting me fucking choke on it!?"

"...yeah, pretty much."

"And the reason why everyone and their mother is here is because you were going to propose to me!?"

"...yeah, pretty much."

"And NOW you want me to put on the ring is all infused with your spit and germs and what not?"

"...yeah, pretty much."

Closing his eyes in frustration, Shizuo groaned heavily. "That's so fucking disgusting." He opened one of his eyes to glance back at Izaya. "...but I'm a crazy fucker, and I love you too, flea, so... so..." He took a deep breath. "...Fine. Just put the damn thing on my hand already."

Looking back on this time, Shizuo commented in gratitude that Erika had brought a video camera along. Izaya's face had been priceless.

Slowly, however, the shock in his features slowly ebbed into ecstasy, and before Shizuo could blink, Izaya had glomped him and was whirling him around like crazy. "A-agh! Izaya!"

Much to Shizuo's further embarrassment, the whole restaurant broke out into cheers; Shinra, Kadota, and Tom all standing up to applaud, Celty looking like she wanted to cry, Karisawa jumping out of her seat to give a loud "WHOOOOP!", Walker opening a bottle of champagne he had gotten from god-knows-where, and the twins squealing in delight while Kasuka gave Shizuo a small smile that quickly turned into a frown as Izaya suddenly ensued a passionate make-out session.

"AHAHAHAHA! YOU GUYS!"

"I TOLD you everything would be fine, Izaya!"

"YAY~"

"CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS TO BOTH OF YOU, YOU ADORABLE BASTARDS!"

"I AM SO GOING TO BE FILMING YOUR WEDDING!"

"OH MY GOD, I'M GOING TO FUCKING CRY! I'M GOING TO FUCKING **CRY**! SHIZUO! _SHIZUO_!"

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"BE HAPPY!"

"For heaven's sake, Izaya, give the man some room to breath! He's now your fiancé, after all, ahaha!"

"Let's all not forget it's all thanks to sushi! Good sushi makes good love life!"

"SHIZU-CHAN! I LOVE YOU!"

"I KNOW THAT, GODDAMN IT, IZAYA! NOW STOP TWIRLING US AROUND LIKE A STUPID TEACUP SO I CAN ACTUALLY _WEAR_ YOUR SLIMY SPIT RING!"

And with that, Heiwajima Shizuo was no longer single, this time, for the rest of his life.

* * *

**Sweet biscuits... I actually managed to finish this thing! Despite its year-long-hiatus, quality deterioration and what not... I FINISHED IT! XD **

**Well, it's been a good write, thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, followed, (etc) and read this story! ^.^ I hope you enjoyed it!**


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